Title: No Regrets
Author: Christine
Email: Buffygirl43@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Takes place during ‘Empty Places’ after Buffy is forced to leave her house. Dawn can’t sleep and seeks out the one person who she’s worried about. D/X
Spoilers: Up to and including season seven’s ‘Empty Places’.

She was beginning to think that sleep was impossible tonight. She could hear the potentials scattered throughout the living room sleeping peacefully. Colleen was snoring lightly to the left of her, while Vi was on her right grinding her teeth. Dawn sat up and shivered as her sleeping bag fell off of her shoulders and onto the cold floor beneath her. Besides the obvious aggravations of sleeping next to over twenty girls, she kept thinking of the night’s events that had unfolded only hours beforehand. She was starting to think that they had made a mistake in forcing Buffy to leave and putting Faith in charge. Yes, Buffy’s idea wasn’t the best in the world, but she was the Slayer, and she always put herself on the line for everyone else’s safety. But as much as she missed her sister, her mind kept traveling to another place; another face who’s injury was causing her to brush tears away from her eyes as she sat there in the middle of all of the girls.

She kept thinking of the front door opening earlier in the night, and seeing him walk through the doorway. How her throat tightened up at the sight of him, but she kept her tears in check as she ran to him. She could feel one escape as she felt his arms wrap around her, but she didn’t care anymore. As she gently guided him to the sofa chair, she bit her lip in an attempt to stifle any questions that he wasn’t ready to answer just yet. She knew that everyone was feeling the same emotions, but for a reason that she only had recently come to realize, she felt something else gnawing away at her. An overwhelming sense of protectiveness and need blossomed inside of her when she saw him walk into the house. Something had stirred inside of her and for the first time she realized what exactly that was.

Love.

With a sigh that was almost as quiet as her thoughts, Dawn slowly stood up, pushing the remainder of the sleeping bag to her feet and tiptoed across the wooden floor. She winced when she hit a creaky floorboard and looked around to see if anyone had woken up. When the coast was clear, she headed upstairs and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw all of the bedroom doors were closed. Faith had taken her room after much argument. Faith had insisted on the floor, but Dawn knew that she was still beaten up from the previous fight so she reluctantly let her have her bed for the night. Willow and Kennedy were shacked up in Buffy’s old room, and Xander had Joyce’s bedroom for the night. She noticed that the door to her mom’s old bedroom was open a little, and she took the initiative and quietly pushed it open further. She peeked around the door and smiled slightly at the figure that was sprawled across the bed. She could make out a hazy silhouette from the moonlight that streamed in from the side window. She walked into the room a little more, cautiously trying not to make noise. As she got closer to the side of the bed, she could make out his face, his mouth was open just enough to breathe through and his eye patch was off center. The small smile she had faded from her features and she forced herself not to launch herself into the bed and hold him while he slept. So she stood there silently watching him instead, not realizing when the tears she had held back earlier came back. This time she let them stay, feeling them trickle down her cheeks and drip onto her tank top. Minutes passed before she realized she should go back downstairs and try to get at least a few hours of sleep before morning arrived. As she started to turn her back from Xander, and the bed that he lay on, he moved slightly, rolling from his back to his side facing her. She stood there motionless for a few moments before making herself move from her position in the room.

She reached up to brush a tear from the end of her nose when she heard him. His voice was barely above a whisper, but she could make out what he murmured. “Who’s there?”

She thought of not replying and just quickly leaving the room before his right eye could adjust to the darkness, but she thought better of it. “It’s just me.” She walked a little closer to the bed and tried to bring a smile to her face, but to no avail.

He opened his eye and looked up at her, squinting a little. “Dawn?”

She shook her head slightly. “Yeah, its me. I was just checking on you, I – I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

He sat up slowly, rubbing his head a little. “How long have you been standing there?”

She glanced down at the carpeted floor for a second before going back to looking at him. “Oh, just a few minutes.” She looked towards the halfway opened door. “I should go, I’ll let you get back to sleep, I’m sorry.”

He motioned for her to come closer. “Nah, you didn’t wake me up, I was having a bad dream.”

“Oh.” Dawn walked until her bare legs bumped against the comforter of the bed. “Are you okay?” She immediately regretted asking that. “Of course you’re not okay, that was a stupid question.”

He patted the spot next to him. “I’ll be okay soon.” He rubbed his head again. “The sooner this headache goes away the better. I think it’s the painkillers they have me on. Makes me kinda woozy.”

Dawn sat on the side, shifting uncomfortably. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I just think this has to go away on its own.” He motioned for her to come closer. “You can actually sit all the way on the bed, I’m not gonna bite.”

Her face showed a hint of worry. “I just don’t want to hurt you.” Her features hardened. “Anymore then he did already, I mean.”

He moved over to her and placed his hand over hers. “You could never hurt me Dawn. If anything, you’re the one who’s helped me the most here.” He looked at her and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I’m not made of glass, you know.”

She shook her head. “I know – I just...” She stopped suddenly and she could feel her voice crack. “Last night when Buffy called me from the hospital and told me what happened, I thought... I thought she was going to tell me that you were on that list of the ones who didn’t make it.” She could feel the tears brimming again behind her eyes.

“Oh Dawn.” He opened his arms slightly and she took the initiative and crawled into them, burying her head in the crook of his neck. He could feel her grab fistfuls of his t-shirt as he held her tightly back. He heard her choke back a sob and her breath hitch as she tried to remain her composure but she couldn’t. Her tears cascaded down her face and on to his shirt as they held each other, rocking slightly back and forth. As collected as he had been before, he could feel himself tear up as well. No one other then Willow had shown any semblance of genuine concern, but he hadn’t allowed himself to give into it before with her. He didn’t want to cry, to show emotion. Because then it would be real. Then it would have to be dealt with. And he wasn’t ready for that last night and this morning. But now for some reason he was. With Dawn in his arms holding him, he felt as if he could be Xander again.

She felt a tear fall onto her bare skin and she realized that it wasn’t hers. She pulled back slightly to see another tear escape his right eye and slowly trail down his cheek. She brushed it away softly with her thumb, and caressed the other side of his face gently without disturbing the eye patch. “Last night made me realize something, and I want you to know this before we go into battle because if something happens to me I’ll never forgive myself for not telling you.”

Xander tilted his head to the side. “Tell me what?”

Without even thinking about it, she leaned in and pressed her lips gently to his and as quickly as it happened, she pulled back. “That I love you.” She looked down at her hands and then back up into his eye. “Since I’ve existed, I’ve always loved you Xander.” She brushed a stray piece of hair from his forehead. “I need you to know that.”

He swallowed and just stared at her. “Dawn, I don’t think you love –”

She shook her head. “I know what I feel. I know what love spells feel like, and I know what crushes feel like. RJ? He was a love spell. Spike? He was a crush.” She looked up at him and saw another tear fall. “You? You’re the person I love. And when you got hurt last night... I knew I had to tell you this, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned not to do in life is regret things. Too many people in this house regret things that they either did or didn’t do, and I didn’t want this to be added to the list.” She looked down again. “I don’t expect you to feel the same, but I just wanted you to know that.”

He lifted up her chin to look at him, and before she knew what was happening, his lips found hers again. She tilted her head to the side and opened her mouth slightly. His touch was gentle, yet assertive. She sighed against his lips and he pulled back, breaking contact. “I took your advice and did something before I regretted not doing it.” Her lips curved upwards in a smile, and he wrapped his arms around her again before guiding her down on the bed and underneath the covers. With their arms around each other, Dawn finally closed her eyes and slowly drifted off. Xander looked down at her and quietly whispered into her ear. “I love you too.”