Title: Penance
Author: Michael K. Donovan
Email: mike@vmp-canada.com
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the characters that appear on the show are the exclusive property of Joss Whedon, the WB and Mutant Enemy, Inc.
Rain poured down from the drab, gray sky in a seemingly unending torrent, saturating the air with chill dampness. The funeral goers were all gathered under a tarpaulin that had been erected as shelter from the downpour while they paid their respects. All dressed in black and shivering from the dampness, they only served to further darken an already painfully somber service.
Drusilla pulled her black shawl tightly about her shoulders and huddled into the crowd for warmth, sniffling quietly to herself. Less than ten feet away, a sharp edged coffin sat waiting to be lowered into the earth. Wood from his workshop had been used to make that coffin, she knew. Her father would be buried with the material that had been his livelihood in life.
She wished she could see him one last time, look at his smiling face again. Anything to replace the last memory she had of him. But she wouldn't dare consider peeking into the casket. Even without the vicious rainstorm, the coffin lid would have been kept closed. The rumors said that his face had been so badly mutilated when they had discovered him that it had taken six men to arrive on scene before two could be found who could withstand the sight of it long enough to move him.
Her dark eyes filled with worry and guilt twisted inside her as she remembered her wish again. That night seemed like half a lifetime ago although, in reality, it had barely been three days.
A gentle hand touched her shoulder from behind and Joshua squeezed in next to her. He didn't look good at all. His hair was wet and clung to his face in haphazard sprigs and his delicate skin appeared even more pale than usual. Even his lips were pallid. Drusilla noted that his cheeks were sunken and that dark, unhealthy circles had formed around his crystal blue eyes, now dull. She wondered how long it had been since the last time he had slept.
"I didn't truly see you, you know." He said in a quiet, even voice, his eyes fastened straight ahead on the coffin.
"What?" she asked, perplexed.
"In the forest with the strange man." He elaborated, his gaze still fixed, "I saw it with my vision, not my eyes."
His vision. He was referring to the unearthly things that his sight often showed him, she realized.
"I saw the Cold Man with you in the forest." He continued, "I saw you fall and he kissed your blood."
What little color she had drained from Drusilla's face and her stomach lurched with dread. How could Joshua have known? She hadn't experienced Angel's kiss until after her father had been found dead. Was her brother beginning to have premonitions too?
"Be careful, Dru." He warned her ominously.
She smiled nervously and rested her hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be afraid, baby brother." She reassured him, "I'll keep safe, I promise."
"The darkness is gathering all around us." Joshua's jaw tightened and he bit his lip until it bled, his eyes wide and distantly fearful, "I can see it."
"Joshua?" she reached for his face in concern, frightened by his intensity.
Their mother emerged from a tight group of well-wishers, outfitted in a black dress and veil, the mourning garb of a widow.
"What have we done to deserve this, oh Lord?!" she wailed at the sky, her hands clenched into tiny fists and fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.
Joshua broke from his trance and went immediately to console her, taking her in his arms and holding her. He seemed a decade older today than he had three days ago, Dru noted. He was the man of the house now, responsible for both herself and their mother. The burden appeared to already be taking a toll on his delicate spirit.
A hand brushed her shoulder and she started, turning swiftly. Standing before her was a towering young man with sandy colored hair and a handsome, friendly face that was clouded with sympathy and sadness. He was well built, with broad shoulders and bright, intelligent brown eyes, with a faint tracing of a light, immaculately-trimmed beard along his jaw. The rain had soaked him through, but he appeared unbothered by it.
"John!" she exclaimed in surprise.
It had been almost a week since she had seen him last. Back then, she used to hold her breath nervously whenever he passed and entertain childish dreams of marriage when she had a quiet moment to herself. But, today, after all that had happened, she hadn't even been aware of him as he approached.
"Hello, Dru." He said, his voice respectful and somber, "I'm sorry to hear about your Da."
He always spoke to her in a placid tone, as if, because of his size, he might run the risk of harming her with normal volume. Her gentle giant.
"I know. Thank you." A slight smile poked through the veil of her sadness.
He took her hand carefully in his, completely engulfing it.
"If there's anything you or your family needs, don't hesitate to ask." He offered kindly, "Me and me Da are here for you if you need it."
At least a dozen other people had made similar promises to her that day, mostly out of politeness and shock over the violent death of her father, but, unlike them, John was completely believable. Something about the way he looked her right in the eye with total faith in his words.
She smiled nervously and dropped her eyes, staring at the massive hand that was closed so tenderly over hers.
"Thank you, John." She answered, touched by his sincerity, "Again."
He stood before her, silent and still as a statue, just holding her hand. The comforting contact eased some of the sorrow that burdened her heart.
"Can I see you later?" he asked in his giant's whisper, "After the service? I can help out with anything you need around the house."
"I-I'd like that."
"Tomorrow, then." He promised, releasing her hand with reluctance, his warm brown eyes holding hers.
As he dutifully went to pay his respects to both Joshua and her mother, another familiar person approached her, appearing from the crowd as if by magic.
Anne threw her arms around Drusilla, hugging her tightly.
"I heard what happened, Dru." The blonde girl whispered, her throat tight with tears, "I'm so sorry."
Drusilla returned the embrace, taking a brief moment of comfort from the contact. The blonde girl clung to her tightly, almost painfully, rocking her with short sharp jerks. When Anne withdrew, Drusilla was shocked at what she saw. The girl looked to be in worse shape than Joshua. Her skin was pale and blotched with a faint pinkness and her lips were dry and tinged with blue. Her once silken hair was dull and unkempt, hanging about her face in lank tendrils. Too much white was showing in her eyes and dark smudges marred the lids, making her appearance haunted.
"Anne, what's happened to you?" she gasped quietly.
"Oh, I know I must look dreadful." The girl fretted self-consciously, dropping her gaze and pawing at her hair in an attempt to smooth it against her head, "But there's been no time. I haven't slept in days."
Drusilla felt an eerie chill shoot through her and she grasped her friend's hand tightly. The fingers were terribly cold, like death.
"I'm sorry I had to tell you this way, Dru." Anne blubbered tearfully, almost hysterically, inhaling sharply and rubbing her free hand roughly across her running nose, "What with all that's gone on with you and your family, I just wish I could have found another time."
"Anne, what are you talking about?" she gave the girl's hand a sharp squeeze to get her attention, "What is it?"
Anne stopped fidgeting and calmed herself, hanging her head like a guilty child. Sniffing back her tears, she took a few deep breaths and released them slowly.
"I'm leaving London." She whispered, her voice a tragic note of loss, "Forever."
"What?" Dru felt her face go blank with shock and she squeezed her friend's hand.
"It's my sweetheart." The blonde confided softly, "He says he'll take me tonight."
Drusilla's brow furrowed. Anne sounded sick and a little desperate, not ecstatic like she would have expected. She watched as the girl rubbed unconsciously at the top of her thigh as if the limb was bothering her, her fingers trembling uncontrollably.
"I have to go Dru." She apologized abruptly, peering skittishly over her shoulder, "He won't wait for me. I have to go."
Drusilla held on to the girl's hand as she tried to retreat.
"Wait." She said, "When are you leaving. I'll come see you off."
Anne flinched for no apparent reason and caught the edge of her sleeve between her teeth in a nervous, child-like manner, "I can't, Dru. I can't tell you. Oh, I would so love to, but I can't. We must get away during the night. To avoid me Dad."
She tugged on her hand to retrieve it and stared at Drusilla's hold on her, seeming to be suddenly upset by the contact and hovering on the edge of tears.
"Please, Dru, let me go. I have to go to my sweetheart."
Disturbed by Anne's strange behavior, she released her. The blonde gathered her skirt up in her hands and hurried away, splashing heedlessly through the deep puddles.
Drusilla watched her, her dark eyes deep with worry and nervousness turning in her stomach. Something was certainly wrong with her and Drusilla doubted that running away with her new boyfriend was going to help the situation, whoever he was.
Behind her, Joshua watched Anne as well, his pale blue eyes strained with focus. His jaw quivering, he clenched his teeth against the inside of his lip in agitation, bringing forth another thin stream of blood into his mouth.
Drusilla sighed forlornly as she folded up the last of her father's clothes. There was no point in keeping them. Joshua would never grow to be as broad as their father had been and there were no other close male relatives to give them to.
The shock of her father's passing made it all seem surreal. She kept expecting him to come walking through the door and pull her into his lap the way he used to. The house seemed so empty and silent now that he was gone.
"Dru?" a man's voice asked from the doorway.
Her face lit up and she spun around quickly.
"Da-?" she froze, seeing that it was Joshua who had spoken.
He leaned against the doorway, looking a little better than he had during the service yesterday. His crystal blue eyes were clearer and the dark circles around them had lessened.
"You have a gentleman caller." He said with a slight, approving smile, the first positive expression he had shown since learning of his father's passing, "It's John Coleman."
Drusilla hastily straightened her dress and smoothed her dark hair back away from her face. She had been expecting John for most of the day but as nightfall approached, she had become less hopeful. Inhaling deeply to steady her nerves, she waited a moment before following her brother into the main room.
Her mother sat at the table, solemn and grief-stricken, and Joshua took the chair next to her, covering her hands with his. He seemed to be the only one who could pull her out of the withdrawn state she had slipped into since losing her husband.
John stooped in the doorway, his full height an inch or so higher than the ceiling. His normally jovial face looked heavy and worn and his brown eyes wandered in a constant circle from her brother to her mother to herself.
"John, how good to see you." She greeted, crossing the small room in a few long strides, "Can I get you anything?"
The giant man shifted uneasily and cleared his throat, folding his huge hands together at his waist.
"Um, no. Thank you." He swallowed nervously, "I can't stay."
"Oh?" she tried not to let her disappointment show.
"A group of men are taking their guns up into the hills." He nodded softly, "I-I've volunteered to go with them."
"The hills?" Joshua looked up from consoling his mother and frowned, "What's going on?"
"There's word of a . . .a rabid wolf on the loose. We're going to get rid of it." The tall man sounded almost apologetic.
"A wolf? What makes you think . . .?" Joshua's eyes went wide and his lips parted in horror, "Dear heavens, no . . . Anne."
John only bowed his head, his face stricken.
"No one knew how to tell you, what with all that's happened." He explained regretfully, "But you had to know."
"What?!" Drusilla demanded frantically, grabbing hold of John's forearm, "Why are you talking that way? What's happened to Anne?"
John looked down at her with a miserable expression. Placing his hands on her delicate shoulders, he held her steady and cleared his throat again.
"Last night . . ." he stroked her hair with more gentleness than it seemed his big hands should have been capable of, "she got . . . she was . . . killed."
Drusilla gasped sharply and stepped back in shock, tears welling up in her dark, soulful eyes. Joshua pulled her into a comforting hug, his expression steady and grim. John sighed heavily and pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat.
"They found her on the edge of town. Her body had been . . . had . . ." he looked to Joshua, unable to continue, "That's why we suspect a wolf. Maybe more than one."
Drusilla pressed her hand to her quivering mouth and sniffed, releasing a long, shuddering breath. Anne must have been attacked while waiting for her sweetheart. It was so tragic. Just a few more hours and she would have been safely out of London with him. Safely away from the curse that Drusilla seemed to be carrying with her wherever she went.
"I must be on my way. They're waiting for me." John announced, hesitating in the doorway, "I want the three of you to stay indoors tonight. At least until we find this thing."
Drusilla touched her hand to his and nodded up at him in agreement, "We will."
As he turned reluctantly and left, Joshua reached for his coat and pulled it on.
"Where are you going?" Drusilla hooked her hands around his arm, "Weren't you listening to John? It's dangerous to go out now."
Joshua smoothed his dark hair out of his eyes and regarded her with a serious expression.
"I'm going to the undertaker's." he said with worry apparent in his eyes, "I have to see her body."
"Joshua?" she whispered, horrified.
"Stay with Mum." He pulled his arm free of her grasp and went for the door, "I can't explain it but I have to do this."
Drusilla watched helplessly as her baby brother exited in a hurry, practically running down the cobbled walkway. With a deep sigh, she sank into the chair next to her mother's.
Seeming to rouse from her lethargy, the woman lifted her head and scowled to herself.
"Fool girl." she muttered in a low, condemning voice, "Trystin' in the woods at night like that. Deserved to get bit if you ask me."
Drusilla's head snapped up and she stared, stunned by her mother's inexplicable observance.
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