Title: Singing Lessons
Author: Wildecate
Email: Wildecate@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: We all know this so sing along “the characters aren’t mine, the song isn’t mine ya de ya de ya”
Dedication: To anyone who ever winced at Cordelia singing on Buffy and Angel.
Note: Timeline wise I guess just before Waiting In The Wings except Caritas is up and running.

Cordelia sat at her desk, immersed in her work, trying to track down a cult of demons. She was e-mailing Willow, hoping that she might have some information or some ideas about where else she could look. She had been at this for hours and was getting nowhere. As a result of this, she was oblivious to the courier who wandered into the hotel, knocking on the doors politely before entering.

The courier, seeing the bell sitting on the desk, headed towards it and rang it several times, startling Cordelia out of her work. The courier apologised to the pretty girl who he had obviously scared the hell out of and glanced curiously at the long, rather intimidating, knife which lay just with her reach. Cordelia’s hand had stretched out towards it but seeing no obvious threat she, instead, flashed a bright smile at the courier and came over to the desk.

“Miss Cordelia Chase?” he asked “I’ve a letter for you.”

Cordelia took the pad he offered to her and signed her name neatly before he handed her the letter. She watched him leave the lobby before returning to her desk and turning her attention to the letter. She had no idea what it could be, she wasn’t expecting any post and there was nothing on the envelope which gave away its origin.

Sighing to herself, she inserted one perfectly manicured nail inside the flap and slid it along, opening the envelope. There was a single piece of paper inside and she pulled it out. Slowly she read it, her eyes widening in surprise, her brain taking in the information.

Angel came out of the office to see her sitting there, staring off into space, her hands loosely in her lap.

“Did I hear someone?” he enquired “Cordy? You OK?”

Silently she handed him the letter. He scanned the contents quickly before whooping with delight and pulling her out of her chair and into a big hug.

“You got it” he yelled, swinging her round happily. His pleasure was infectious and Cordelia’s shock melted away and she flung her arms around him, letting him lift her and twirl her round, laughing with him.

“What’s happened?” Wes came out to join them, having heard the unusual sound of Angel laughing and then hearing Cordelia joining in. He saw the two of them hugging each other tightly and laughing hard. He had not seen either of them look so happy. The letter which had brought the good news had drifted to the floor and he picked it up and read it quickly and understood the reasons for Cordelia’s happiness.

Angel eventually put Cordelia down and she bounced over to Wes, hugging him tightly.

“I got it I got it.”

“You better call Lorne and tell him” Wes suggested. The bright smile came on to Cordelia’s face. The last time he had seen her looking so happy, Angel had bought her an entire new wardrobe. He could not begrudge her this happiness so he smiled and handed her the phone.

Angel came over and stood by Wes as they watched Cordelia head into the garden to talk to Lorne.

“You don’t seem very happy” Angel commented “This is what she’s always dreamed of, she worked very hard to get this part.”

“I am happy for her. She deserves a break but I can’t help but wonder what she’s going to do about her visions.”

Angel gave Wes a sideways look.

“She barely feels anything anymore - you know that.”

“I’m aware of that but what happens if she has one in the middle of a performance. Or if we need her to fight with us?”

“Wes, the deal with Cordy was always ‘until she got an acting job’. She’s got one now.”

“Angel, her responsibilities lie with us - not with some show.”

Angel watched Cordelia through the window, the sparkling smile on her face, the pleasure that was so evident from getting the part that she had worked so long and so hard for.

“Wes, look at her. She’s happy. For the first time in months she’s truly happy. Do you want to be the person who takes that away from her?” Angel shook his head “you do it then. Because I can’t. I couldn’t do it to her.”

Wes watched as Angel headed out into the garden, staying carefully in the shade. Cordelia had finished her phone call and had thrown herself happily back into Angel’s embrace. Angel had wrapped his arms around her. Angel was right. He couldn’t deny her this chance - things would work themselves out, they always did.

Angel crept into the back of the theatre and wandered round until he found his way into the auditorium. The theatre was beautiful, all red velvet and brilliant white sculpture. The stage was large but currently empty of scenery. Empty of everything except for a piano and three people, the pianist, the director and Cordelia. They were completely unaware of his presence and he took the opportunity to watch Cordelia.

She was slender, toned, her muscles hardened from fighting. He remembered holding her hand once and feeling the calluses from the weapons that she had been using. Her shoulder always seemed to tighten up if she had been using the crossbow and he had seen her stretch to try and loosen the knots out. He wasn’t brave enough yet to volunteer a massage. Her hair was cropped now, just below her ears bringing out the strong lines of her face and her deep brown eyes. She was listening intently to the director who was talking rapidly to her, gesturing with long elegant fingers. He gave her a smile and she smiled back shyly glancing down at the music she was to sing.

The piano began a quiet introduction and the director counted Cordelia in. He had never seen her concentrate so hard and watched her as she began to sing, softly at first, her voice lost in the emptiness of the theatre. With his preternatural hearing he could hear her clearly, the strength and the tunefulness of her voice was amazing and such a contrast to the way he remembered her singing. Lorne had done wonders with her and he was proud of the way she had worked to get to where she wanted to be - standing on that stage, learning a song for a show that was due to start in 4 weeks.


When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me


The director stopped her after the first verse. He wanted her to sing louder, it was a song of thanks, of gratitude, she should want to give it her all, to say thank you with every part of herself. She began again, moving into the chorus this time.


In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you'll be


The director stopped her again. She had a good strong voice and this was a fantastic song, but she still didn’t sound thankful. He asked her to close her eyes, to think of someone that she was grateful to, perhaps someone she owed her life to. Did she have that person fixed in her mind? Cordelia nodded.

“Now sing” said the director.


Well you showed me how to feel
Feel the sky was in my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you’ll be


Opening night. Angel had come from Cordelia’s dressing room just before curtain up. He had never seen her look so terrified. He had laughed at her gently, reminding her she had faced apocalypses and demons and even Angelus and yet here she was - flat out terrified of a bunch of humans. He had brushed her hair for her, waited until she had got changed into her costume and then watched as she applied her makeup with shaking hands. A swift hug and a push in the direction of the stage and he had headed back out front to join the others.

Wes, Fred, Gunn and Lorne were waiting for him in the foyer and they hurried to their seats, front row seats that Angel had managed to get. The lights dimmed, the audience hushed and Angel crossed his fingers for Cordelia.

He had no need to worry, no cause for concern at all. She was amazing, her smile lit up the entire theatre and when it came to the song, her song, she was fantastic. He couldn’t believe she was the same girl who had been shaking like a leaf before curtain up. She exuded confidence and charisma and fun. He watched, open mouthed as she sang, her eyes closing as she reached the final part of the song. He always wondered who she thought of but had never dared ask. He hadn’t confessed to her that he watched her rehearsals but maybe now the show was a success, maybe he could do.

Lorne sat beside him, loving every moment of this performance. He felt all the mixed emotions and passions surging around him, it was overwhelming. And Cordy? Boy could that girl sing now. And the power behind that voice was incredible. The feeling that was emanating from her was positively intoxicating and all, he noticed, all aimed at Brood Boy beside him. Lorne grinned, knowing that Angel was completely unaware of this.


'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I want to thank you now
For all the ways you were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always


Final night. Cordelia took her bows with the cast, allowing them to push her forward for her solo bow. She had asked the cast and orchestra for a special favour and they had all agreed happily to her reprising her song as a final bow out. The cast filed off the stage leaving Cordelia alone in her spotlight. She glanced down at the front row and saw the face she had seen at nearly every performance. Now it was time for her to say thank you. She picked up the microphone and began to speak.

“When I first came to LA, life was very hard for me. You probably wouldn’t even believe me if I told you that 6 months ago I couldn’t sing a note, let alone hold a tune. But someone taught me that I should believe in myself. That I should have confidence in myself. It’s one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned since moving here. The run of the show has been fantastic, the cast, crew and orchestra have been amazing and you as an audience have been a joy to perform for. But tonight, I’m going to be selfish. Tonight I have my very own personal thank you to make. So I’m going to ask someone up on the stage with me and say thank you in my own way.” Cordelia looked straight down at Angel and smiled mischievously.

“Angel, will you join me up here?”

The audience clapped and cheered as he reluctantly got to his feet and clambered up the steps and on to the stage. She took his hand and pulled him into the spotlight with her.

“When I first learned this song the director said I should think of someone that I’m thankful to. Someone that I owe my life to. Someone that I feel daily gratitude to know. I thought of you.”

The audience cheered even louder and Angel felt all the blood within him rush to his face. Cordelia waited until the cheering had died down and then took Angel’s hand, waiting for him to look at her.

“I’m incredibly thankful to you. For reasons that I know I don’t need to explain. So for the last time, I’m going to sing this song. But this is for you.”


In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you'll be


The applause was thunderous, crashing down in waves upon the stage. Angel, much to his surprise, found his eyes were wet and he looked back at Cordelia and saw the tears pouring down hers. She had never looked so lovely. He pulled her close and hugged her, feeling her heart thump hard enough for both of them.

“Thank you” she whispered.