Title: Slide (2nd in CD series)
Author: Carol A. Clarke
Email: Carol.Clarke@mail.state.ky.us
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Buffy and Willow and the rest of the gang belong to Joss Wheldon and Mutant Enemy.
Dizzy Up the Girl belongs to The Goo Goo Dolls
Summary -Lyrics are involved that and tears. Continued from Change Warning: Major Depression Alert! May result in the use of behavioral Medication or chocolate.

"Hey Buffy! That Willow's new CD?"

"Yep, that would be the CD you bought her for Hanukkah and don't think she didn't tell me you said the first part of this song was about me."


You're cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You're monochrome delirious
You're nothing that you seem


"Hey Buff, you are beautiful and you are differently not what you seem, slayer girl."


I'm drowning in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything I need


"The dirty lusting thing wouldn't be you Xander?"

"What was that part about vanity?" Buffy throw her pillow at Xander hitting him across the back.

" Hey that hurt Buff."

"Xander it was a pillow.

"But thrown very hard. This is the part of the song that reminds me of Will."


I wanna kick at the machine
That made you piss away your dreams
And tears at your defenses


"Sometimes when she was into major Hacker girl, I wished I would have said exactly that to her."

"Yeah Willow, Zones when she is on line, Xander."


Till there's nothing there but me
You're angry when you're beautiful
Your love is such a tease


"Til there's nothing left but me, Xander did you ever feel that way about somebody?"


I'm drowning in your dizzy noise
I wanna feel your scream


"Yeah, I always felt I was drowning in Cordilia. "

"You really loved, huh?"

"Yeah, It never would have lasted anyway."


Let's pretend
My January friend
I'm wantin you again
Every single heart that beats pretend


"So Xander, we just going to sit here and play music critic for the evening or are you going to tell me why your here. Besides, I thought you had an orgasmic friend now to do Friday night things with."


Don't cry out loud
You've gotta bear your cross
But never dream too loud


"Hey can't a guy just want to hang out with one of his best buds, Buff?"

"Xander I know she told you."


A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you


"Yeah, but Tara seems nice. Hey, at least she doesn't howl at the moon."

"Xander, I know she told you everything, hence you're beating around the brush. I just don't have the energy right now, So get to the point."


You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room.

Comin down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder


"Buffy, you didn't come home for 3 days what was she so post to do? You're her best friend."


Gone away
Who knows where you been
You take all your lies
And wish them all away

I somehow doubt
We'll ever be the same
There's too much poison
And confusion on your face

I can feel it
I didn't mean it.
Can I see you
I think I love you


"Well, Buff say something."

"What do you want me to say?"


And it won't take long to burn
Through the nothing that you've learned


"Just let me in, Ok, Willow and Tara big adjustment. But Buffy you saved the world. You got the mayor. There are a lot scarier things then a couple of lesbian witches. Buffy she's best friend and she has always been there for you. If she's happy I don't understand way your still wiggin. Buffy, Willow afraid to come home, afraid to say anything to you, afraid of pushing you away.."


And you hide in your room
And the light burns away
And you move from the truth
It's all so far from you.


"I'm sorry. Tell her, that tomorrow I'll move back in with mom. I don't want to be in her way."

"No you tell her. I am not going to play middleman for you two. Your friends, you have been through worse then this. I love you both and I don't want to lose you. Either of you."


And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now


"But you did? Will loved you and you never even noticed her. You just followed me and any other girl that caught your fancy around."

"That was harsh, and I'm fresh out of master's bone for you to turn into talcum power."

"I'm sorry Xander, I was making a comparison. It wasn't about you it was about me and it came out all wrong."


And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight.


"This is about that thing with Faith isn't it?"

"Xander I know how much it hurt Willow when you slept with Faith but I really don't care who you slept with, and I way don't want to know about you and Anya."


And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.


"Buffy I am the first to admit Faith -Big mistake. But I wasn't taking about my thing with Faith My mistake with her. I was talking about you thing with Faith."

"That Bitch she told you."

"Buffy, Think did you ever know Faith to talk about anything other than sex or slaying?"

"I can't believe she told you. Does Will know?"


And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know your alive.


"Do you want her to know? Wouldn't it make your reaction to her coming out a little harder for her to understand."

"You wouldn't tell her, Please Xander, I'll do anything." The slayer cried out shaking in fear like no demon ever gave her.

"Buff, what is going on here. Willow tells me she's in love, and you have run of to mommy's. Then she tells me your ok with Tara but you can't be just friends anymore. When I was at Tara's I only got ever other word Willow said between the tears. So, what the hell is going on?"


Just another sequel
Just another reason for you
Just another sequel
Just another reason for your lies.


"Please Xander, I will tell you everything but you've got to promise me you will never tell Will about Faith."


Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are
You live with all your faults


"Why should Will care who you fuck? She never did before, even when it was Angel?"

"Xander, Faith was a mistake. And not because she was a girl. After Angel I couldn't trust myself with anyone. You remember Scott. And there was the whole slayer thing between us. At least Faith could defend herself. That and Faith was only in it for the fuck. She just wanted "to steer you round the curves." Xander, when you wanted to go talk to her before she officially joined the forces of evil. I told you that the guy's she slept with were a joke to her. Xander everyone Faith slept with was a joke to her. Me included. Use, Abuse and then Lose Them, was here philosophy that and Want, Take, Have. Why I didn't see she was fucked up in the beginning is beyond me. "

"Well at least she never tired to kill you, no wait she did do that"

"Yeah, Faith had an interesting way of treating lovers. You're lucky you only slept with her once."

Xander only rubbed his neck in answer.


I wanna wake up where you are
I won't say anything at all.


"You sleep with her more than once?"

"Can you turn this off the subject of sex for a while Xander?"

"Like how many times?"

"Does it matter?"

"Normally I would say no, but since we seem to share a major millstones in common. As in huge amounts of stuff I never realized before. Buff we are into mega space stuff in common."

"Xander we slept with the same person, I wouldn't get carried away."

"Ok then let me cap it up for you. The first women either of us sleep with, same. She was the first women you sleep with right."

"Yes, But for review here is the score sheet. Angel 17th birthday. Cosmic disaster. Faith homecoming dance. Turn to the dark side. Add in Parker and Riley and Xander you have my whole sexual history. Happy now."

"Ok, but I am still right about the first women thing."

"Ok, so what?"

"Let me finish. We both dated people we shouldn't have in high school. You Angel and me Cordilia. We both still love them even though it was never meant to be."

"You got two, still waiting on Mega Space big."

"We both loved Willow, and didn't realize it until she moved on and went out with some else."

Buffy went pale. The room filled with darkness in her mind. She was Anne again looking for a place to hide.

"I think I'll turn the music back on." Buffy said to cover.

"I hit it on the head didn't I."

"Yes."

"So the running away had nothing to do with Willow coming out did it."

"No."

"You're in love with her, I can see it in your eyes."

"Yes, but she has Tara and I want her to be happy."

"Buffy you have to tell her how you feel. Even if the two of can't be together your friendship is too important to throw away."

"Xander I did tell her. It just made her cry. Now I don't know what to do. Everytime I see Tara I want to rip her head off."

"Buffy, from the minute Willow started going out with Oz ,you wanted to rip his head off. You got through it. "

"How did you know I felt that way about Oz?"

"I am not as dumb as I look. Buff, you remember when you tried out for Cheerleader our sophomore year."

"Yes, Amy's mom had stolen her body."

"Yep, and she put under that blood vengeance spell."

"Why am I not loving this story?"

"You were babbling, you also told me I was your Xander shaped friend. I was one of the girls. Burst my bubble. Then when Willow and Giles went into the office to get something for you. We were alone. Well you started babbling about Willow's butt. I think the exact words were Will's got a great ass. I think about it all the time. You went on about wanting to see it out of clothes. If you weren't so sick it might have been funny."

"I did not."

"Buffy, thankfully the others never heard you, but you let it be know you had the hots for Willow."

"Oh, and you never said anything."

"What was there to say? And I never said anything about Faith either. I never will. Willow will only find out from you or somebody else."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me. I can't believe you knew that I played for both teams back in high school and never said anything about it.."

"Well to tell you the truth. After what you said under the influence of a spell about Willow, I thought you were gay. Don't say it, I still tried to ask you out, teenage guy thing. I had to try."

"Xander you did ask me out, which does seem strange now, but you stayed my friend."

"Well honesty there were times I thought I might have been wrong, you did the Owen thing and I thought maybe I was wrong. It could have been the spell taking."

" And the jealous Angel phase?"

"What phases I still hate the guy."

"You're a good friend Xander."

"Buffy, since we are clearing things up, There is one thing I thought I heard you say earier. You play on both sides. Right! So I still got a shot?"

"Xander, No you will never have a shot. I love you I just don't love you. And yes I'm Bi."

"Still seeing Teutonic commando guy?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure about Riley. It has Angel doom written all over it."

"And Willow."

"Willow is with Tara. Remember slayer in jealousy rage here."

"At least you admit it."

"Xander do you think Willow will forgive me."

"Won't know until you talk to her. But has she ever not forgiven you."

"I could kiss you but then you would have to die a hideous death afterwards."

"I'm going to leave now. You have given me pigman thoughts and I must find Anya."

"Ewe, more then I wanted to know."

"Buffy, Willow and Tara went to the Wicca party in Anderson hall. I bet you could find them there."

"Thanks."


I wanna wake up were you are
I won't say anything at all
So why don't you slide