Title: Soothing The Beast
Author: Kylia
Email: kylia_bug@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Nobody belongs to me, unfortunately. They belong to Joss & Mutant Enemy, and a few other people I don't know.
Rating: R
Spoilers: BtVS Season 3; Beauty & The Beasts.
Category: Willow/Angel
Summary: Willow discovers Angel, setting motion a series of events.
Distribution: Fire & Ice, BBA, anyone else, ask, and you shall receive
Author's Notes: This takes place after Faith ,Hope & Trick. It's my own wacky universe after that. Angel has returned, but Buffy is the only one who knows; I'm altering some of the events of Beauty & The Beasts to fit the story.
Author's Notes 2: This is my first solely W/A story. Sorry if it sucks:)
Dedication: Kaitelynn, because she knows how I think. To anyone who missed me. :)

Willow sat staring at Oz as if he had said something completely unbelievable. He had. She looked at him, willing her tears to stay away. "You're leaving?' She asked quietly, trying to grasp what he had said.

"I'm sorry." He spoke the words with the same lack of emotion as anything else that left his lips, but for some reason, it seemed to feel crueler somehow. Like he really didn't care.

Willow stood up. "I guess this is it, then. I'll see you around." She started to leave and then turned back to her boyfriend. Former boyfriend. "Or not."

She walked away, her body seemingly moving of its own accord, as she tried to tell herself it didn't matter. She heard Oz calling after her. She didn't stop. It didn't matter. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Buffy talking to Scott Hope. She was glad that Buffy was trying to get on with her life.

When she walked out into the cool night air, Willow faltered. She didn't know where to go. She wasn't ready to go home and face the emptiness of her house. Her parents were away, again. It wasn't that she wasn't used to it, but sometimes she felt so very alone. She had felt that way a lot the past several months. After Buffy had left, the nightmares had started. At first she thought they were just her over active imaginations way of trying to reconcile Buffy's disappearance. But the details had been too perfect. Too concise. She realized it was probably closer to the truth to say they were like pieces of a half remembered dream. Except that it wasn't her dream.

Her sleep had been filled with things she didn't understand. Anger, then confusion, and finally pain. Blinding torment invaded her thoughts. It was constant, and something she couldn't really grasp in the waking world. Just something she felt. And them recently, the nightmares had changed, again. Now the most base of instincts drove her sleep. Hunger, survival, fear. It was never more than the emotions. She never got the images to go with them, but some part of her subconscious recognized them for what they were. She knew she was to blame. She had sent a friend into hell, with his soul in tact. Whatever he lived through there, she shared in his pain. And she knew, she deserved it.

Willow shook her head, willing away the despairing thoughts. When she looked up, she noticed she was standing outside of the mansion. Again. She had found herself here several times since Buffy's disappearance. It was here the feelings from her nightmares were stronger. It was here that she had realized her mistake. It was here, she let herself mourn his loss, and her part in it.

Willow walked into the mansion cautiously. She wasn't expecting to find anyone here, but she always felt like she really shouldn't be here. She had killed him, as surely as if it had been her who had thrust the sword into his heart.

Willow crinkled her brow in confusion as she sensed something. At first she couldn't identify it. Then she realized it was a presence. His presence. But that couldn't be, could it?

She walked further into the room, seeking comfort in the darkness. She turned when she heard a noise to her right. The sound of chains rattling. She nearly passed out from shock at the sight that greeted her.

Angel. Chained to the wall, growling viciously.

Buffy walked through the cemetery silently. She knew she should check on Angel, but she couldn't bring herself to go. It had been a shock to find him in the park the previous night. She didn't know why he was back, or how he had gotten here, and if she was being completely honest, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. She had begun putting the past behind her. She had closed the door on the past; she wasn't ready to re-open the old wounds. But yet, here he was, back from Hell. She knew she should tell Giles and the others he had come back, but she wanted to wait just a little bit longer.

Maybe when he was better, when he was himself again, she could explain it to them. Or maybe he would leave, and they would never have to know. Either way, she would wait.

She turned and headed home; she would go and see him tomorrow. Tonight, she just wanted to forget.

"Angel?" Willow took a cautious step forward.

Angel snarled, his eyes golden, seemingly possessed.

"Angel?" She asked again, moving slowly. "Do you know who I am?"

Angel looked up then, her voice seemed to calm him a bit. He was looking at her as if he couldn't believe he was really seeing her, like it was just a mirage.

"Have you… have you eaten?' She asked quietly, holding his wild eyes with her own.

Willow heard a growl rumble from deep in his throat. She frowned slightly. "I'll take that as a no." She turned around, wondering where she could get some blood. She doubted there was any here.

"I'll be back." She told him, unsure if he could even understand her. He was staring at her; she could feel his animalistic gaze on her back as she left, in search of blood.

Angel looked around wildly. His mind was a hazy fog. He wasn't sure what was real, and what was a dream. He knew that he was no longer in Hell. At least he didn't think so. He remembered the Slayer. She had captured him, chained him. He didn't know why, or what had happened. He was lost in a sea of confusion, fueled by his hunger. His mind kept weaving a path between his memories. The pain, still fresh, haunted him. He could still feel the torment, heavy on his soul. His past haunting him like a terrifying dream that wouldn't shake itself loose.

He had felt her presence. His savior. Her light seemed to wrap itself around him, comforting him. He didn't know what it was about her he found so comforting, so safe. Only that she calmed him. Soothed his soul in a way he hadn't believed possible after all that had happened.

He thought he heard her sweet voice speaking to him, but he couldn't be sure what was reality, and what was the dream. He stared up at the creature before him, something inside of him, knowing he was safe. And then she was gone. He was alone again. So very alone.

It was nearly an hour later when Willow returned, with several pints of blood. The entire time she was gone she tried to figure out what had happened. Why he had returned. How he had gotten out of Hell, and more importantly, what had led to his being chained in the mansion. The only explanation was that Buffy had brought him there, and chained him to the wall like an animal.

Willow realized that Angel was not himself, and his being restrained might have been necessary, but what she couldn't understand was why Buffy hadn't said anything. She hadn't told anyone he was back, and as far as she could tell, he hadn't been fed.

That's what bothered her the most. Angel had returned from hell itself. He had been freed from him torment, and yet instead of comforting him, Buffy had chained him up and left him alone. That bothered her more than she liked to admit.

Willow entered the mansion and made her way into the kitchen. She put several of the blood bags in the refrigerator. She poured the of the blood bags into a large mug she had found in the cupboard and heated the liquid up to normal body temperature. She entered the room where she had left Angel, unsure of what she would find. It was obvious he had been changed by her undeserved time in Hell. It was just another thing she felt an unrelenting guilt for. If she had cursed him sooner, if she hadn't been sidetracked by the attack on the library, if she had found the disk earlier, maybe, just maybe he wouldn't have gone to Hell. Maybe he could have found the happiness he deserved, instead of suffering the torment she knew he had been subjected to.

She felt Angel tense as she entered the room, his eyes golden.

She walked to him cautiously. "Angel? I brought you some… blood." She tried to speak in soothing tones, hoping not to agitate him further.

Angel looked up at her, as if seeing her for the first time. He inhaled deeply as the scent of warm blood reached him. He growled low in his throat as his hunger began to consume him once again.

Willow inched closer to him, holding out the mug. Angel jumped forward and snatched the mug out of her outstretched hand, spilling nearly a third of it over his chest. Willow winced as she watched the red liquid splash down the front of his naked chest.

Willow turned and made her way through the house, searching for something to clean him up with. After several minutes, she found the bathroom. She didn't waste any time finding a washcloth and soaking it with warm water. She didn't want to leave him alone for too long.

When she reentered the room, Angel had finished the blood, and was staring around wildly, seemingly oblivious tot he mess he had made. Willow made her way over to her friend, and began cleaning the blood from his chest. She could feel his chest rumble as the warm washcloth was swept across it.

"Shah," She tried to soothe him as she pushed him gently against the wall. He was filthy, she noticed, and wished she had enough strength to rip his confines from the wall. Willow smiled to herself as she had another thought.

She placed a hand each on the metal, which encased his wrists. She closed her eyes, and centered herself as she remembered the words to a spell she had come across. At the time, she didn't think she would ever have a need for such a spell, but Willow found herself thanking the goddess for her desire to study even things she may never need.

After a moment, she felt the shackles snap, and opened her eyes. Angel was staring at her with curiosity and confusion in his golden orbs. She stood up and pulled him to his feet. Leaning him against her small frame she led him to the bathroom.

Willow set the vampire on the clothes toilet seat as she began to draw the bath water. She turned up the hot water to steaming, and filled the tub. When it was two-thirds full, Willow turned the water off, and returned her attention to the vampire.

Willow noticed for the first time that Angel was naked. Completely naked. She wondered idly why it was that Buffy had not seen fit to dress him, but then brushed the thought away. It wasn't important, and she didn't want to think about Buffy's reasoning for anything concerning Angel.

Willow lifted Angel off of the seat and led him over to the bathtub, pleased to find that he didn't resist her. After he was sitting in the hot water, Willow knelt in front of the massive tub and began scrubbing the grime away. When his body was thoroughly cleaned, Willow stood up and began to walk tot he other side of the room, only to be stopped by a growl coming from deep within Angel's chest. S he turned around to find him staring at her.

"I'll be right back." She told him. He seemed to acknowledge her words, and she opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a couple of bottles and returned to the bathtub.

Willow pushed Angel forward with one hand as she poured a cupful of heated water over his head. She heard him hiss slightly as the liquid ran down his face.

"It's all right. It's only water." Willow soothed as she began to massage the shampoo into his hair. She thought she heard him purr as her fingered worked the lather. After his hair was thoroughly clean, Willow began to pour more warm water, rinsing away the soap. She then poured some conditioner onto her hands and began to run it through his clean hair.

Willow heard a sound of contentment coming from him and smiled to herself. He seemed to be relaxing, if only slightly. Once the conditioner had been rinsed clean, Willow stood up and pulled him to his feet. She turned around to grab a large bath towel, averting her eyes from his nakedness as she wrapped the vampire up in the fluffy terry cloth. She helped him out of the bathroom and into his room.

After several moments rummaging through his dresser, Willow found a clean pair of sweats and a tank top for him to wear. She set him down on the foot of the bed as she began to dress him.

Once dressed he put him to bed and covered him with the silk sheets. She was about to leave him to his sleep, when she felt his firm grip on her wrist. Willow looked down, into his eyes, and nodded her understanding. She climbed into bed beside him and rubbed his back soothingly as he fell asleep.

Willow awoke several hours later to the sounds of growling. She opened her eyes and looked around the room, trying to remember where she was. She felt the fear coming at her in waves as Angel thrashed around the bed, apparently reliving a nightmare that had been based in reality. She placed a hand on his shoulder soothingly.

"Shh, it's alright you safe." She kept whispering words of comfort and eventually he seemed to calm down.

She sighed heavily as she realized he had fallen into a dreamless sleep once again. She wasn't sure if he had ever actually been away. He had never opened his eyes, never made any movement that would lead her to believe he had been awake and aware of his surroundings.

She climbed out of bed carefully, and went into the kitchen. She sat at the table and lay her head down, thinking about everything that had happened in the past several months.

Angelus trying to open a vortex into Hell, Her restoring his soul, albeit too late to stop Buffy from sending him into Hell. Buffy running away, and having to help with the vampire slaying while she was gone. The dreams, which she now knew, were actually glimpses into what Angel had experienced since the soul restoration. And finally, Oz leaving and finding Angel. So much had happened in such a short time, she wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

She needed to go home and take a shower, but she didn't want to leave him alone for too long. She was glad it was Saturday, and wouldn't be expected anywhere. She stood up and made her way back to the bedroom. Finding him still asleep, Willow left the mansion quickly and nearly ran to her house. Once there, she showered quickly and packed a small bag. She didn't think she would be coming back for a couple of days. Angel couldn't take care of himself, and there wasn't anyone else to do it.

Willow knew that Buffy would probably be more than willing to take care of him when he needed it. But even as she had the thought, she doubted it. If that were true, would she have found him chained? Wouldn't Buffy have been there helping him when she had shown up? She didn't know what Buffy's reason's were, but she was beginning to think that what was best for Angel wasn't on the top of the list.

However, Willow had no choice but to help him, to ease his suffering. She was to blame for all he had endured, and it was she who would do whatever it took to make him whole again.

Buffy left her house with a smile. She knew that everything was going to work out for the best. Angel would regain his health, and she could move on with her life, just as she had begun to do before he had returned.

She still had feelings for him, but she had realized that what they had had together could never be anything substantial. He was the epitome of everything she fought against as the Slayer. He had proven that when he had lost his soul, and although she believed the curse was intact, she didn't think that Angelus was too far below the surface. Sooner or later, he would come out again. Maybe not they way it had been before. But some part of him, which craved the dark and all that came with it, would resurface. The way she had found him in the park, naked and animalistic just proved it.

Buffy just hoped that he would heal quickly, so that everyone could get on with there lives and forget about the past.

She opened the door to the mansion carefully, and entered cautiously. She looked around wide-eyed when she didn't find Angel chained to the wall. Buffy had thought the chains were strong enough. Apparently she had been wrong. She was about to leave and search the towns sewer systems when she heard a noise coming from the direction of Angel's bedroom.

Buffy practically ran into the room. She was shocked to find Angel lying on the bed, clean and dressed. He was shaking on the bed, apparently having a dream of some sort. She took a step closer and heard a growl erupt from his throat.

When she looked down at him she saw his demon's golden eyes staring back at her, with a rage she had seen in her nightmares. It was the gaze of a killer. She looked around the room carefully, searching for something she could tie him up with. She was afraid he was going to attack her, and she didn't think she could kill him, not again.

Buffy noticed a wood cabinet in one corner of the room, and opened it, keeping one eye on the vampire. She noticed some heavy handcuffs along with a length of chain. Grabbing the metal items, she took them back to the bed. She hesitated slightly when she heard a snarl escape the vampire as she neared him. Steeling herself for whatever was coming next, she walked to the bed.

Angel jumped off of the bed and lunged at the Slayer, snarling and growling wildly. He didn't know what she was doing. Why she was attacking him. All he knew was that she shouldn't be there. His whole body screamed at him that he was in danger. That the slayer presented a threat to him. He attacked her viciously, wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her as possible. He felt her hit him hard across the face, and then kick his feet out from under him. He landed on the floor with a thud, and before he could react, he felt her fist hit him squarely in the jaw, sending him flying backwards. His head connected with the metal railing on the bed. His last thought before losing consciousness was of his red-haired savior. He didn't know where she had gone, but he could feel that she was safe. He didn't know how he knew exactly, only that he did.

Buffy sighed heavily as she watched Angel slip into unconsciousness. She knew now, more than ever that she had been right about him. His dark nature was just below the surface. It would only be a matter of time before it was set loose once again. She only hoped that whatever was wrong with him started healing itself soon. She didn't know how much longer she could keep him chained up. She now knew that she could never tell the others about his return. They would never understand what was wrong with him. She didn't even understand it. She shook her head of her thoughts as she lugged his body back tot he bed and began to tie him up again, making sure the chains were tight. She would have to come back later and make sure they stayed that way. She would bring him some blood then. She hadn't thought to feed him earlier, but she was certain he would be hungry soon. She wasn't sure how long he could go without food, but she was sure it was a couple of days.

Buffy smiled sadly at her former loves unconscious form. "I'm sorry." She whispered as she turned and shut the door, fleeing the mansion and all of its memories.

Willow gathered her things and headed out of the door, locking it behind her when she felt a sudden wave of anger overcome her. It was unlike she herself had ever experienced. It was strong and powerful. The anger was fierce, almost tangible, and then pain, and then nothing followed it. Just an empty void. Willow realized it wasn't her own emotions she was feeling, but Angels. She wasn't sure exactly why or how, but she knew that they were his emotions. She had never felt them while she was awake before. However as the force of the emotions reverberated in her mind, she realized she didn't have time to analyze what was happening. She ran all the way to the mansion, wanted to make sure he was safe.

Willow was nearly out of breath when she pushed the heavy door open. She made her way to his bedroom and thrust through the doorway. She gasped at the site. Angel was unconscious, and chained to the bed. She rushed over and began to untie him. When she had finished extricating the vampire from his binds, she noted several cuts on his face.

Willow didn't allow herself to think about what must have happened as she bandaged his wounds. When she came back into the room, she noticed he had stared to awaken. He opened his eyes, and stared at her with a mixture of fear, and confusion.

"What happened?" She asked, not sure if he could answer her, or even if she wanted to know.

Angel stared at her, his animalistic gaze softening slightly. He moved his lips as if to say something, but no sound came forth.

"Shh, it's alright. It doesn't matter." Willow came and sat on the bed, pulling the vampire into her arms. She looked at the clock near the bed and sighed. It was several hours until sunset. She knew that whatever else happened, it was her job to take care of him, keep him self. And he was no longer safe in his own home.

Willow leaned back into the hot bath water. She sighed heavily, allowing the steam to work out the tension in her muscles. She closed her eyes as she thought about the past few days.

Once the sun had set on Friday, willow had packed a couple of bags for Angel and brought him to her house. She knew that he wasn't safe at the mansion anymore, and with her parents out of town for another six weeks, her house was the perfect place.

She had spent the weekend taking care of Angel, and trying to relieve some of the tension, which seemed to surround him after this latest incident. Not that he had been calm before, but whatever had happened while she was gone, had agitated the vampire immensely.

She knew it had been Buffy. There was no other explanation. Who else would come to the mansion in the first place? Who else would have the strength to subdue Angel, especially in his present condition? With the exception of another vampire, or demon, the only person was a slayer.

While it was true, there was a new Slayer in town, willow seriously doubted it was Faith who had captured and chained Angel to begin with, nor that it was her who had come into his house and tied him to his own bed. That left only one person. Buffy.

Willow wanted to believe there was a reasonable explanation for her friend's actions. She knew that Angel wasn't exactly mister sociable, but he wasn't acting in a violent matter, which begged the question, why tie him up?

Willow was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of the bathroom door opening. She turned to see Angel standing in the doorway, staring at her, with the half-golden gaze she had gotten used to. She was learning to read his expressions. Even in this state, his eyes were very expressive.

"Angel. Come in." She motioned for him to sit down on the toilet seat.

Angel walked into the bathroom cautiously. His mind was still trapped in the remembrances of the dream, or was it reality? He couldn't be sure. When he had opened his eyes and found himself alone, he had gone searching for his only source of comfort.

He had followed her scent like a hunter searching out his prey. When he had finally found her in the bathroom, he hesitated. He could feel her presence wafting through the air, calling to him.

Now he found himself, calming down, just from being near her. The fear he had felt at waking up alone was slowly dissipating. He watched her, as she seemed to relax into the bath water. His mind was starting to clear. He still had trouble discerning which was a memory, and which was part of a dream, but he found himself, able to understand her when she spoke. Her words actually made sense, instead of just grasping at the emotions he could feel coming off of her. He still couldn't seem to form the words to speak himself. But with his savior, he didn't need words. And she was the only one who counted.

He could feel her smile. It was like a comforting blanket that wrapped itself around him. He closed his eyes, and let the sensation chase away the last remnants of the dream. When he opened his eyes, he found Willow standing up in the bathtub, wrapping a large towel around her small body.

Willow felt strange. Here she was, standing half-naked in her bedroom, in front of a highly aggressive, sexy vampire. And she didn't feel uncomfortable in the least. It seemed completely natural. She supposed it helped that Angel didn't think of her in that way, if he even thought of her at all.

She finished getting dressed and turned to the vampire who was sitting on her bed, watching her with a strange look. One she hadn't seen before.

"Angel?" She asked quietly as she sat down next to him. "I have to go out" she heard a low growl rumble from his chest.

Willow placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I won't be gone long" she stood up and pulled on her sweater. "I'm gonna bring you some food." She ran down the stairs and heated up a couple of blood bags. When they were warm enough, she jogged back upstairs and placed the mug in Angel's hands and gently brought it up to his lips. When he had drunk the liquid, willow pushed him back against the bed and covered him slightly. She placed a hand over the ridges in his forehead, and over his eyes, closing them as she did. Willow kissed him on the cheek before she got up and left her house.

Willow left her house and jogged to the school. She knew she needed to make an appearance. Explain to them why she hadn't gone to school. But the real reason she was going was to speak with Buffy. She needed some answers. She was tired of speculating.

When she entered the library, Willow looked around briefly. She saw Cordelia and Xander huddled in the corner, whispering to one another, while Giles and the new Slayer, Faith sparred. But Buffy was no where to be seen.

"Where's Buffy?" She questioned.

"Wills, hey. Where were you today? Were you making with the smoochies with Oz?" Xander looked at his friend suggestively.

Willow paled slightly at the memory of Oz and his leaving. She had been so busy taking care of angel, she had completely forgotten about him. "I didn't feel well." She lied. "So, where is Buffy?"

"She's with the new stud." Faith offered between punches. Giles groaned from his place on the floor.

Willow smiled sympathetically. "I have to get back home. I'm still not feeling very well."

"You get some rest." Giles rasped out.

"Yeah, later." Xander waved.

Willow hadn't stepped more than a few feet away when she saw Buffy standing in the hall talking to Scott Hope.

"Buff." Willow called.

"Oh, hey Wills."

Scott gave Buffy a quick kiss and left as willow walked up to the blonde slayer. Willow smiled slightly.

"It's good, you're moving on… What with Angel… and all." Willow told her friends, gauging her reaction.

Buffy paled slightly. "What about Angel? He's gone. Sent him to hell."

Willow nodded, her mind on overdrive as she realized that Buffy wasn't going to tell her anything. "Yeah, but…"

"But nothing!" Buffy snapped slightly. "He's gone, and that's it." Buffy's voice softened as she watched Willow's face change. "Oh, will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. Angel's a touchy subject, you know. You okay?"

Willow stared at Buffy disbelievingly. "No, Buffy, I'm not okay." Willow's voice was calm, her mind desperately trying to grasp a reason for Buffy's attitude. Could she be wrong? Maybe Buffy didn't know.

"I know he's back, Buffy." She paused, seeing the recognition in her friends' eyes. "I found him. Naked, alone and frightened, chained like an animal."

"He is an animal." Buffy stated, remembering the look of hatred, which entered Angel's eyes the last time she'd seen him.

Willow stared at the Slayer, realizing that she believed what she was saying. "He's Angel, not some rabid Dog."

"Will, I don't know what he's been telling you, but he isn't the same. He's… I don't know, different." She told her friend, as another thought came into her head. "You said you found him? What were you doing at the mansion?"

Willow sighed. She wasn't in the mood to explain something she couldn't even understand. "I have to go." She turned and left the hallway without another word.

Buffy stared after her for a moment wonder what the hell had just happened.




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