Title: Stay (Part 5 of CD series)
Author: Carol A. Clarke
Email: Carol.Clarke@mail.state.ky.us
Rating: NC-17/R
Disclaimer: Joss Weldon, Fox, Mutant Enemy and Shakespeare Sister it all belongs to them
Music from Shakespeare Sister Hormonally Yours.
Note: I could really use some constructive feedback on this series.

Buffy was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Willow grabbed a CD off the rake and put it in the stereo pushing shuffle. The little witch then shut down her computer. Then she sat down on her bed to wait for Buffy. They were going to talk if she had to chain her to the bed herself.


why do I feel bitter when I should be feeling sweet


The slayer had been asleep when she had returned from Tara's last night. When Buffy woke her up for her 8 o'clock class she had just had time to tell her that she and Tara were taking some time off. They had broken up.


hello, hello turn your radio on
is there anybody out there?


Buffy's only response had been "Oh". Then Riley had come to surprise her. Take her out for breakfast. He had been showering her with attention since getting out of the hospital and returning to Sunnydale. They didn't have any classes together this semester so Willow hadn't seen Buffy all day.


woke up this morning and my head was in a daze
a brave new world has dawned upon the human race
where words are meaning less and everything's surreal


Surreal, like her life wasn't surreal already. But Fate was sure keeping the slayer and witch apart today when she needed to talk with Buffy more then ever.


I'm gonna have to reach my friends
to find out how I feel


She was just going to have to put her resolve face on. She had to reach Buffy. Willow knew Buffy loved her. It wasn't even a question at this point. But what exactly did that mean. Would there be touching involved because Willow wanted there to be touching involved.


and if I taste the honey is it really sweet
and do I eat it with my hands or with my feet?
(Hello {Turn Your Radio On})


Naughty bad bad wonderful thoughts were rushing Willow's head were she heard Buffy slip into the room and began to put away her things. Buffy knew the expression behind those green eyes and though she was afraid she looked forward to someday, somehow losing her soul in those eyes.


black sky blue world green eyes
no peace for the wicked
no rest for the good
no use in pretending
(Black Sky)


"Yes" the slayer thought listening to the words of the song. No more pretending. No more hiding. She had spend too many years trying to be want other people wanted. The slayer just couldn't go on faking it.


she likes to wake up and just fake it
she knows if she touches it she'll break it


The slayer took a sit on her bed facing Willow. For the first time in a long time she was looking forward to the future. Looking to do something more with her life then dying the good slayer. She was going to live. To love. To love this women before her.


and the ground beneath her feet is shaking


She was shaking the tree and the ground was thundering beneath her feet. The women, the slayer, Buffy were becoming one, no longer afraid of the future.


just when you think she's wearing thin
she's walking out with the biggest man you've seen


Buffy had told Willow how she felt. She had talked with her mother about. With Giles and Xander. And she had spent most of the day with Riley trying to make him understand. She was changing her destiny and not looking back.


you're never gonna see my face again
it took some time so here I am


It wasn't without cost. And she really didn't know were the future would take her. But one thing for sure. Childhood Buffy was dead. Not all that made her happy. She really did like Riley. She loved his cock. How alive it made her feel. The way Angel had made her feel.


it must have left you feeling sick and twisted
bye bye my old friend
you're never gonna see my face again


There was always a cost. Tara, Riley. Even Angel. But there was no going back the slayer thought.


you left me outside in the rain
so bye bye
I said bye bye
(Goodbye Cruel World)


"Will, I told Riley about us today. Will about how I want us to be. I hope that's ok." Buffy said hoping Willow wouldn't be angry with her.

"That kind of a surprise. How did he take it."


she loves to entertain you
but she charges by the hour


"I don't know really. Riley's kind of interceptive. Truthfully I think it upset him more because I told him I'm Bisexually then that it was you I was in love with."

"Will, you never told me about you and Tara? What happened?"


of faith and hope I stand
while you are buried in the mess
of weeds you sowed by hand


"She took it better then I expected. But I know she was hurt. She also said something about a spell to make you grow hair on your chest. Really I think she was expecting it from the start. Tara is big with self confidence."

"She was serious about the spell thing was she." The worry slayer asked checking her beast under her shirt.


but if you want to trust someone
well how about me


"Buffy, Tara's not like that. But I still feel bad for hurting her. When I told her, all she asked was to make love to me one last time. Buffy she was so gentle. And after I looked at her and she had this tears in her eyes. I know I really hurt her."


is your soul for hire


"I know Will, but she live through it. It might have been worse if it had lasted longer. At least Tara isn't going to freak and become evil and kill people. She's be ok."


she offered you a dream
but it turned into a coma
well there are no inbetweens


"Sorry I was thinking about Faith. The spell reference you made got me thing about her. I wanted to tell you so bad at the time but I was so afraid that you all would hate me. Think I had fucked another Angelus into your life. When I told Faith I couldn't take her abuse anymore, that I wanted to move on she threatened me with a spell."


but love's an added extra


"Buffy, you know you could have told me about it. I would have listened."

"No I couldn't. Willow I have been in love with you for almost 4 years and I couldn't even look you in the eye. Well not when I thought you were looking. I wasn't reading for it then but I think I am now. I have never trusted anyone as much as I trust you."


don't you want to put your trust in
someone who's not ordinary
don't you want to put your trust in someone like me.
(Let Me Entertain You)


Willow leaned over and kissed Buffy's check then returned to her bed. They had a little more talking to do and the red head wanted to get it over with so they could move on to the good, or was that naughty stuff.

"Ok, Buffy I understand why you couldn't tell me about Faith then but maybe you should tell me about it now."

Really isn't that much to tell." The slayer said but she body language told another story. Buffy was trying to listen to the music to keep the memories back but they flooded in and filled her with terror.


but on this planet where do I fit in?
I could be in trouble or just imaging
sometimes I feel like an alien


Faith came at a time when I still hurt like hell over Angel. And his returning from hell just made the pain worse. I felt like an alien around you guys. Xander had Cordilia and you had Oz. I was 5th wheel Buffy. I felt like no one would ever love me again.


the world out there


"So Faith showed up. Another slayer who understood some of the things I was feeling. We both had lost people we cared about. Both lost a watcher. But living with all the people we could save. For the first time I felt like someone knew what I was feeling. How alone it feels to be the slayer. Ok so I was self-pity Buffy, sue me I'm human. "


oh little moonchild
you're not the only one!


Faith and I started talking about stuff. Nothing important. Faith was nothing like Kendra and I had never meet someone so open like her. And Faith could read me like a book. All her sex talk, was to bring me out. Get me to admit I was into girls too. Faith could work vulgar and make it pay. Her and Howard Stern.


I look at the world from another star
that's when you discover who you really are
so if you think you'd like the taste
you know there's not much time to waste.
(Moonchild)


"Ok Buffy I understand all that, but you haven't told me about you and Faith, the sexual years." The witch prompted.

"Well one day after school before it got dark enough to go on patrol. Faith started talking about slayers not having much time to live. About how I had died already once.


things were going pretty well 'till I died
on that summer afternoon
when you broke down before my eyes


And should I live a little and try everything before it was slayer's nothing Vampire score. It was one of her better arguments. And then pushed me against the wall and kissed me for a couple of hours. Sometime on patrol that night she pushed me over a tombstone, slide my panties down and taught me a new way of kissing I had never before experienced."


well I got a streak of meanness
a clumsy way of speaking
and I don't know where I get it from
it must run in my family


"In the cemetery Buffy?"

"Faith was never a great romantic. She would take me anywhere and did. Trust me you don't want to know."

"And you liked this, what Faith did to you"

"At first. Willow I really figured I was going to die any day and I didn't want to die alone and unloved. "

"At first, what about later."

"At first I didn't know Faith was insane or maybe I did but didn't want to admit it. She could make the strangest things seem wise or normal. And I would just go along with it. "

Tears began to flow down Buffy's face and Willow moved beside her.

"Tell me Buffy. I want to know."


do I have to go down on my knees?
this is my 16th apology to you
with friends like me who needs enemies


"She started blaming me for little things. Nothing big or important so I would apologize to her. Try and make it up to her. Then she would get angry and this river of rage would flow over her. It scared me, Will.


I got a river inside the size of my rage
which is really something else
when you think of my tender age


"And you thought it was your fault Buffy. I see Xander's parents do that all the time."

"I wanted to love her so bad, I really believed it was my fault."

"How often did she it you?

"I never said she hit me."

"you never said she didn't, Buffy I was there. You were twice the slayer she was but you also had twice the bruises. Even then I wondered if they were all from Vamps and sparing."


but it's hard for me to see it
and I don't know when I'm in the wrong
why am I so hard to please?


"It really was my fault most of the time. She keep trying to practice with me and when I beat her. She didn't take it well. I started just letting her win the matches but she knew and that just made her madder."

"Did she ever choke you like Xander?'

"No- I never felt like she really was trying to hurt me. We were slayers we could take it."

"So what did she do to you? Buffy you need to tell to somebody."

"Nothing really. Hit me at weird time. Once she spanked me. Another time she used her belt. But mostly she just hit me. Faith was not one for planing. She would hit me. I would cry and then beg her to forgive me for something that I had know idea about.'


do I have to go down on my knees?
this is my 16th apology to you
with friends like me who needs enemies
(my 16th apology)


"So then what happened?"

"She killed the deputy mayor. It really was an accident. And I could have lived with that. I was partially responsible too. I was there. But then I went to her motel room and she was washing out the blond. I will never forget the look in her eyes.


it's just another day in this crazy place
do you ever feel like you're losing the rave
we're all on the same long road


"It was like some one had pulled the blinder's off. I knew that moment she was too far gone to reach. Still I did true Will, I really did try. I thought maybe I could get her to stop and come back to me." The slayer laughed a sad laugh and continued. "Will, you know what she said to me? She said "So are we in love yet B, think Giles will walk you down the aisle?


are we in love yet?
don't you know that's what it's all about
are we in love yet?
don't you know that's what makes the world turn round.


So after I she saved my life I knew I couldn't reach her. I told her we were through. She said "good. "And everything was ok for a while. She sleep with Xander. And yes I knew she loved to tell me about anyone she slept with, even when we were dating. I don't thing Faith really knew how to love. Sex she knew, but not love."


cos love makes you love somebody
love turns you into somebody
(are we in love yet)


"And you were ok with it. Her sleep with other people."

"Willow I liked her, needed her but neither Faith nor I loved each other. Which was why we were together. All part of that slayer deathwish thing I guess."


some people say he has a deathwish
trouble is he tends to agree
let's not ask to many questions


"Slayer death wish?"

"Something Faith talked about. It was up there with her "want, take, have theory. Now it's easy for me to see that Faith was very messed up. You know I don't even know her last name. But then I was too close to it."


the trouble with andre
is he thinks he hides everything
(the trouble with andre)


"I was so jealous of her. I don't think I ever hated anyone as much as I hated Faith."

"If it's any consolation, Faith pretty much hated herself even more then your hated her."


Walking through the rooms in my head
I came across your image
You looked at me with that sweet smile and said
Something they won't let me repeat
We hurt the ones we love the most
It's a subtle form of compliment


"I never wanted you to find out. Giles, Xander I didn't care. I think Cordelia bumped into us behind the Bronze once. But I never wanted to hurt you and I know I did. I am so sorry."


I don't care if you talk about me
I don't care if you write it out in stone
whenever I fall I land on my feet
I don't care, I just don't care


"Will, I'm sorry about Tara as well. I feel like a heel. I wait until you meet this wonderful girl and then I go all "I love you" It wasn't fair. I didn't plan it. It just happened."


we hurt the ones we love the most
it's a subtle form of discipline


"Seems we have spend most of our time at cross purposes, Buffy. I'm sorry about Tara too. I like her a lot. I owe her so much. But I don't really care now if I can have you. If you want me."


I don't care if you take if out on me
I've got 9 lives and I land on my feet
I don't care, I just don't care
(I don't care)


"Seems like I've been wanting you all my life. I could die happy with your lips against mine."


I was floating around the atmosphere
I liked what I saw so I came down here
I was looking for something


Willow pushed Buffy onto her back on the bed then pressed her lips against Buffy's. The mighty slayer shuttered and gasp.


now peace and love like a willow tree
have hung their heads and wept for me
and I'm looking for someone
(Catwoman)


"Willow make love to me?" Buffy said before pressing back into the kiss.


I've seen the world from a first class seat
I've read the bitch and ulysses


Willow began pulling at Buffy's clothes. Hurriedly taking them off. The place between her legs burned with unfilled desire, causing the witch to panic and tug at her new lovers clothes.


It's just a suicidal whim
But I can't resist


Buffy felt the need as well and pushed Willow away and pulled her own cloths off then started on the shaking witch.


an emotional thing an emotional thing


Willow gained control of her emotions and made her way back on Buffy. They had waited a life time for this, but Willow knew with a certainty it was a good thing they waited until they had grown up.


no juvenile delinquent heat
I don't have to tell ya where I'm from
if I leave my cat suit on
(emotional thing)


Now there were no juvenile expressions need to complete their education. They could be themselves and learn to love each other for the right reasons. The reasons that would out last a life time.


if this world is wearing thin
and you're thinking of escape
I'll go anywhere with you
I'll do anything it takes
but if you try to go alone
don't think I'll understand


Willow slipped two fingers in as she sucked on the slayers neck, against the pulse point. Buffy moaned in pleasure then she grabbed Willows hand stopping it.

"Will, I will never forgive if you leave me. You can see other people. Fuck who ever you want. Just never leave me. I need you in my life even if it's just as a friend. I couldn't make it without you."


stay with me, stay with me


Willow pushed Buffy's hand away gently and began to trust into her love again. "Buffy I will stay with you forever. I know we have a lot of things to talk about still but just lay back and let me make love to you. Let me love like I have dream of since the day I met you." Willow reached over and turn the music up loader.


in the silence of your room
in the darkness of your schemes
there among the souvenirs
and the useless memories
when your pride is on the floor
I'll make you beg for more
stay with me, stay with me
(Stay)


Willow continued to make love to Buffy, as the music filled the room. As Buffy came for the first time that night students in the hall passing by down to the lounge were graced with not only hearing loud music but with the voice of the slayer panting out "Stay with me, Stay with me Will." The students of Stevenson Hall hear that song and at least two different women's voice cry out in joy the same works to the song. "Stay with me."