Title: The End
Author: Paradox761
Email: Paradox761@mail.com

Website: members.tripod.com/~Paradox761
Disclaimer: Joss and co. own all things Buffy, no copyright infringement is intended. So please don’t sue, I don’t have any money anyway.
Summary: Post “Wrecked”, alt ending for season 6, and the series. B/W/X-friendship, Slight B/X and Ay/X.
Spoilers: “Wrecked”, and most of season 6.
Author’s note: For the purposes of characterization, in this story Spike did not attempt to rape Buffy. I am NOT a Spike fan, and this is NOT a fix-it fic. But I started this story before that happened, and I find it hard to write Spike as a sympathetic character after that scene. So to continue with the story as planned, that scene didn’t happen. Also, this story takes place before the Angel episode “Sleep Tight”. Also, I started this story after “Wrecked”, as I was starting to become unhappy with the way season six was turning out. I must say though, I couldn’t be happier with the way it ended. I could never top “Grave”, nor would I try. So I’ve gone in a different direction with this. But I did paraphrase some lines from Xander’s speech.
Dedication: To Jordan and Jessica, my angels. May they rest in peace.
Special thanks to: Wayne, Rob Clark, Ghostrider, Ozmandayus, Maggie C., Furious George, Bill, Calen, Chorlton, John, Wicked Raygun, DaBear, Cobra, Jeconais, Nathan Postmark, David, Drake Roberts, Angelus, Queen Boadicea, Scott, Malaskor, and The Crowe for the feedback and the encouragement with this story. I really appreciate it.

(6/12)

Dawn was walking back into the living room when she heard what sounded like a door opening upstairs. She stopped and looked up the stairwell. Sure enough, Buffy’s bedroom door was open. She could see the light from her bedroom window, and an elongated Buffy-shaped shadow being cast on the hallway floor. Taking a chance, Dawn climbed the stairs slowly. Reaching Buffy’s door she peered inside. Buffy was standing at the window, her back to Dawn. She had her arms wrapped around herself and she was just staring out at the street. Dawn knocked lightly on the door jam to announce her presence. Buffy jumped a little bit. Dawn could tell by the way she wouldn’t turn around right away that she had been crying. The pile of used tissues in and around the waste basket were a dead giveaway as well.

“You didn’t have to hit him?” she said gently, surprised herself by how little anger there was in her voice. Something about seeing Buffy crying unnerved her, it was like seeing Clint Eastwood burst into tears.

Buffy half turned around, letting her hair hide her face and nodded slightly. “I know,” she said softly. “I was just…so angry.” Her voice sounded so weak.

“At him?”

“No. Yes. Maybe, I don’t know. It’s just all so confusing.”

Dawn slowly walked into the room a little further. “Xander told me something once. He said that you made the world a better place. Not just by killing all the evil things, though that’s definitely a big part of it. He said that you also make the world better for the people around you, for your friends. For him. He said that before we came to Sunnydale…before you came, his life was miserable. His parents, school. He said that if it hadn’t been for Willow he probably would have killed himself, that’s how unbearable it was. But you were like this ray of sunshine on his life, that just made everything brighter.” Buffy turned around fully this time, the confusion evident on her face. “His exact words, ray of sunshine.”

“How could he say that? Before I showed up, he and Willow didn’t know anything about vampires. They were blissfully ignorant, and their lives were simple. Well, as simple as life in high school can be.”

“I asked him that too. He said that when he learned about ‘the fight’ as he called it, that it made all of his problems seem so much less important. Seeing your strength while you fought gave him strength. The very idea of you, a person his age who had been given such a tremendously difficult duty, and who accepted it and fought so tirelessly against evil. It reaffirmed his confidence in humanity. It made him believe that it was possible for him to become something great as well, instead of just thinking of himself as a waste, which is what his parents had told him. But more than that, more than just what you were, it was who you were. It was your friendship that made his world a better place. And it was your heart that made him fall in love with you. He fought by your side because he wanted to be like you, he wanted his life to have meant something. That’s why he fought so fearlessly, because he wasn’t afraid to die. He knew that if he died fighting the good fight, then it wouldn’t be a senseless death. Then his life would mean something.” Dawn could feel her own tears threatening to come at this point. “He wasn’t eager for death though, he had too much to live for. He didn’t fight recklessly the way it sometimes appeared. I think that maybe, he felt like he was also fighting to get your respect. He had your friendship, and he knew that he would never have your love, not the way he loved you at least. But he thought that if he fought hard enough, he could at least gain your respect.”

“And every time I pushed him away, told him that I didn’t need his help, it must have been like a slap in the face. But he never let it stop him. He never loved me any less.” Buffy felt so stupid, so angry with herself for the way she had treated Xander in the past. She was finally beginning to realize why he did what he did, why he fought. Largely it had always been and always would be for her, out of his love and respect for her.

“The reason I’m telling you this Buffy, is because I want you to understand Xander the way I do. Understand why he did what he did. Maybe it was a mistake to bring you back, but he didn’t do it out of selfishness. He did it to make the world a better place, the only way that he knew how. By keeping you in it.”

Buffy started crying again, this time not even bothering to try and hide it. Dawn closed the distance between them in a second, wrapping her arms around her big sister and pulling her into a hug. Buffy held onto her sister for dear life. “It’s just so hard,” she sobbed. “After everything that I did, no matter how hard I fought, evil just kept coming. Then with Mom…there wasn’t anything I could do. All my strength was worthless, I was powerless. What good is it to be the slayer if you can’t even save your own mother!” Dawn just held her while she cried all of her frustrations out. After a few moments of crying, she spoke again. “She said that death was my gift. I thought she meant that it was my gift to give, to save the world. But then I thought that maybe it was a gift for me. That I was finally done, and that I was being given a reward for everything I had done, everything I had gone through. But then it was taken from me, and I was sent back here to face it all again. And it was all that much harder for having known what heaven was like. It feels like I’m trying to run underwater. Everything, even the little things, is just so much harder now. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“I don’t know Buffy. I don’t know that there is a way to deal with something like this. You just have to take things as they come and do the best you can, that’s all anyone can do. But you don’t have to do it alone, you have me, you have Xander and Anya and Tara. I know that it isn’t easy, but our lives never have been. But we can get through it, we’re strong. You’re strong.”

Buffy broke the hug, looking down at her little sister as she spoke. “I have been pushing everyone away lately, you included. Sometimes I just don’t know how to deal with people. Sometimes I just feel so alone. I’m sorry Dawn, I’m sorry that I haven’t been the parent that you deserve. It’s just…you’ve gotten along without me, and sometimes I wonder if you even need me anymore.”

“Buffy!” Dawn said with surprise. “That’s ridiculous, of course I need you. Now more than ever.” She paused. “I feel alone sometimes too, even in a room full of people. Like no one really sees me, like no one is looking. But then I remember that I do have people in my life, like Xander and Tara. People who go out of their way to make sure that I know that they’re there for me. And they remind me that everyone feels like that sometimes, especially when you’re a teenager. But no matter how many other people I have like that, you’ll always be the most important Buffy. You’re my sister, you’re blood.”

Buffy pulled Dawn into a hug again. “I love you Dawn,” she said.

“I love you too, Buffy,” Dawn said, her tears starting to come again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Buffy, it’s okay.” They held each other and cried for a few more minutes. “Buffy, I have to ask you,” Dawn said, finally breaking the hug. “After Xander left, before I came up here. You opened your door. How come?”

Buffy seemed to think about the answer for a moment, wiping the tears out of her eyes. “I guess…I guess I was just tired of being alone. What I didn’t realize was that I never really was.”

Dawn shook her head and hugged her sister again. “And you never will be Buffy,” she said. “No matter what happens, we’ll always have each other.”

*

Xander looked around at the group of people assembled around him in the Magic Box. Buffy and Dawn were sitting at the table next to each other. By the looks on their faces it was clear to Xander that they had resolved something between them. Dawn didn’t look quite has hopeless as she had earlier when Xander had seen her. They must have talked. Obviously whatever Dawn had said worked better than what he had. Buffy still wouldn’t look at him. Maybe he had said too much, maybe not enough. Maybe it was too soon, or too late. Or maybe whenever Buffy looked at him, all she could see was what he had done to her. Something she could never forgive him for.

But Xander wasn’t the only one Buffy was avoiding eye contact with. Spike stood off to the side next to a bookcase, pretending to be reading the spines of the books and finding them endlessly fascinating. His whole demeanor reminded Xander of a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Anya was standing behind the cash register, counting money. She had already counted the day’s till, at least twice by Xander’s count. But counting money was something that soothed her, and even though she hid it rather well, Xander could tell that she was nervous. Having only been mortal for a few years now, and possible impending death situation was just not something she was used to, unlike the rest of the people assembled in the room. Xander reminded himself to make sure she was okay once they got a private moment. He had been so preoccupied with everything that had been happening lately, that he had been neglecting his fiancé.

Tara was sitting on the other side of Dawn with a very blank look on her face. Xander couldn’t read her at all. He was leaning against the counter across from Anya. Her reached over and squeezed her hand. Anya looked up at him and he gave her a smile. Kind of an ‘I love you, I’m sorry, we’ll get through this’ smile. She smiled back and nodded. Xander turned and walked over to the table.

“The reason I asked you all to come is that things have changed with our current situation,” Xander started. “With Willow. The time for half-measures is gone.” He paused. “She tried to kill us last night, something that our Willow would never do.” He paused again. “I think that clinches it. Our Willow is gone.” The whole room was dead quiet. Dawn was looking down at the table, a look on her face like she wanted to cry but she was fighting it. She had matured so much since last year, Xander thought. Buffy kept her arm around Dawn, her expression much the same. Tara was looking at Dawn too, but her expression hadn’t changed much.

“What do you suggest we do, mate?” Spike asked.

Xander looked at Dawn for a long time before he answered. “I’m not going to sugarcoat things, the odds are not in our favor here. We’re talking about three very powerful magic users, four if you include Jonathan. Three very brilliant minds, with the ability to control demons of various sorts thanks to Andrew, and technology that I’ve only ever seen in science fiction movies thanks to Warren. We’re outgunned and outnumbered.”

“I don’t understand,” Dawn piped in. “I thought you guys kicked their asses last night.”

“Yes, but we had three advantages last night. The element of surprise, the fact that they underestimated us, and luck. The fact is, they’re not going to make the mistake of underestimating us again, and we can’t count on luck. But surprise is something we can use.”

“What are you thinking?” Buffy asked, speaking to Xander for the first time since she struck him, earlier that day.

Xander made eye contact with her for a moment before continuing. “What’s the last thing that they would expect from us? They’ve got us outclassed, they’re going to expect us to be on the run, on the defensive. Well, the best defense is a good offense. So I say we attack the mansion.”

“When?” Buffy asked.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Are you daft?” Spike chimed in.

“It has to be as soon as possible if we hope to catch them off guard,” Xander insisted.

“It doesn’t matter how off guard we catch them, that mansion is like a stronghold. That isn’t a plan, it’s suicide!” Spike said.

Dawn looked scared, so did Anya. Xander locked eyes with Anya, trying to convey without words that she should trust him. He sat down at the table, across from Buffy and Dawn. He had expected Buffy to react the same way Spike had, but so far she hadn’t said anything.

“Dawn, look at me,” Xander started. She reluctantly looked up, still fighting tears. “It’s not suicide. That was Angel’s mansion, Buffy knows it better than any of us, including Willow. We can get the drop on them.” He looked at Buffy and then Spike. “We have to, it’s our only chance.”

Spike looked at Buffy, seeing that she actually seemed to be considering it. “No,” he said, walking over to the table. “Buffy, listen to me. The only thing that this will do is get us killed, and then there won’t be anyone left to stop Willow. Things aren’t as hopeless as he makes them sound. We’re stronger than they are, you and me. We still have that light saber, we still have the pro…”

“No!” Xander interrupted, cutting Spike off. Everyone turned to him at the sudden outburst. “I mean, it won’t be enough,” he said calmer.

Buffy looked back and forth between Xander and Spike. Everyone seemed to be waiting on what she was going to say. Finally her eyes settled on Xander. “Do you really think we can do this?”

Spike let out a grunt and pushed himself away from the table, walking away. “I’m not going to lie to you Buffy, the odds aren’t exactly in our favor. But it’s the best shot we have, and I think we can do it.”

Buffy nodded. “Okay.”

“Don’t listen to him slayer, this is crazy!” Spike hollered.

Xander stood up to stand eye to eye with Spike. “Spike! Just trust me okay, I have a plan.”

Spike opened his mouth to say something but he stopped. Maybe it was just dust, but he could have sworn that he saw Xander wink at him. And the look on his face, it wasn’t that of someone who had just come up with the suicide plan that he had just pitched, his expression was much too confident. Like he had something up his sleeve. “Whatever, mate,” Spike said, walking away from the table. He walked over to the counter and hopped up onto it, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

“Good, it’s settled,” Xander said. “Now we just have to work out the particulars.” He sat back down, looking at Tara and Dawn. “Tara, maybe you should take Dawn home now.”

“Hey, I thought you wanted to include me in this!” Dawn insisted.

“I do Dawnie, but I also want to keep you safe,” Xander said.

Dawn had a feeling why Xander wanted her to leave. She thought it had something to do with what they had to talk about. About maybe having to kill Willow or the others if they were forced to. She understood that he wouldn’t want her to hear that, but it still bugged her. “I’m not a kid anymore,” she said, without the usual venom in her voice that went along with that statement.

“I know you’re not,” Xander said.

“Xander’s right Dawn,” Buffy chimed in. “This isn’t anything that you need to hear, you should go home,” she said in a calm and loving voice.

Xander couldn’t resist smiling at that a little. He was so relieved that the two of them had worked things out between the two of them. “I promise to keep you in the loop, okay,” he added to Dawn.

“Okay,” Dawn said, standing up to gather her things.

“Tara, will you make sure she gets home okay?” Xander asked again.

Tara looked up at Xander and paused for a second. “Of course,” she answered.

Xander stood and watched as Tara gathered her things and she and Dawn said goodbye to everyone. He watched as they walked out the shop’s front door. He waited until the door was closed all the way before turning around to face the others again. “Okay, forget everything I just said. Here’s the real plan.”

Buffy blinked in surprise. “What?”

Spike smiled. “I knew you had something up your sleeve. Not even you are dumb enough to run straight into the lion’s den like that.”

Xander smiled back. “I told you to trust me, Spike.”

“I don’t understand Xander, what’s going on?” Buffy asked.

“We’re setting a trap,” Xander answered.

Anya came out from behind the counter and walked up to Xander. “You mean, we’re not really going to use that crazy plan you just said?”

“No Ahn, we’re going to use a slightly less crazy plan.”

“Oh, well good,” Anya deadpanned. Xander smiled and gave her a hug.

“I don’t understand, how are we setting a trap by telling Dawn a phony plan?” Buffy asked.

“That wasn’t for Dawn, it was for Tara.” Three pairs of puzzled eyes settled on Xander. “I’ll explain. It’s like this…”

*

Willow was sitting in her elaborately decorated living room, on her overstuffed couch, watching Xander talking on the big screen TV in front of her. Rak and Amy sat on either side of her on the couch, Jonathan and Andrew were standing off to one side watching as well, and Warren was next to the TV, leaning over a device that was attached to the TV with wires.

“Unbelievable,” Willow said.

“They can’t possibly be that foolish,” Amy said.

“Desperation breeds foolish actions,” Rak commented.

“He’s right,” Willow said.

“Still, I can’t believe the slayer agreed to it,” Warren said.

“She’s always had a death wish,” Willow said. “It makes sense that she’d want to get it over with as quickly as possible. And after what Xander just found out about his precious hero, I’m not surprised he would either.”

“They want Tara to take Dawn home,” Warren said, turning to Willow. Willow turned back to the TV, watching as Xander talked to Dawn.

“Tara, will you make sure she gets home okay?” Xander asked again.

Warren looked over to Willow. Willow nodded. “It’s okay, we know everything we need to know. We don’t want the robot to do anything too out of character, they might start to suspect something.”

Warren turned back to his device and spoke into it. “Of course.”

“Of course,” the Tara-bot repeated.

“Put it back on automatic now,” Willow told Warren. “We have preparations to make.”




Next Chapter