Title: Three Hundred Words on Love and Conflict
Author: Moonloon
Email: maryavatar@gmail.com
Website: Amused and Abused
Feedback: maryavatar Rating: Hard R
Pairing: Andrew/Warren, Andrew/Xander
Summary: People come with baggage. Andrew's is Warren Mears. Three drabbles exploring that.

Sometimes, when he's lying safe in bed with Xander, Andrew thinks about Warren.  He feels guilty about it, but not quite guilty enough to stop doing it.  He loves Xander, he knows he's lucky to be the one Xander chose, but sometimes, when they're making love, and Xander is rocking into him so carefully and gently, he remembers the way Warren used to shove him down and use him.  Hard, rough and wonderful.  Warren always hurt him and Xander never does, and sometimes Andrew misses it, that little edge, the sick pain that made the pleasure all the more intense.

"Bite me."  Andrew whispers, as Xander pushes inside him.

"What?"

"Bite me, hurt me.  Please."

Xander stops and stares down at Andrew.  His eyes are screwed shut and there's this desperate needy expression on his face.  "Andrew, open your eyes."  Andrew's eyelids flicker and there's an apology in his eyes.  "Who were you thinking about?"  His blush says it all.

"Sorry."  Andrew rolls away.  "I didn't love him.  He just…"

"Gave you what you need."

A shrug.  "Maybe."

"You don't need punishment, Andrew."

"I don't know what I need."

Xander strokes gently down Andrew's back.  "Closure, Andrew, you need closure."

Xander took Andrew there, to the place Warren died.  He wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel.  It was just another part of the woods.  It wasn't until he saw the two bare patches of earth, where Warren's feet had burned that he let out a low moan of loss.  They'd seen the edge of the crater that used to be Sunnydale on the way in and he knew Xander was thinking about Anya.  They both mourned, together, but apart, then they drive home in silence.

That night, when they fucked, Xander bit him.  But not enough to hurt.