Title: Willow and Spike
Author: Luisa
Email: luisa_barros@hotmail.com
Category: Willow/Spike (although all the major BtVS make appearances)
Rating: PG13, I guess.
Description: The characters interact with interesting consequences. All dialogue.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all.
Dedication: To James Marsters, my favourite actor on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
Spoilers: None, unless you haven't seen Season Four.
Comment: It's my fictional take on what could have happened in Season Four. I prefer the ending that the writers came up with, but!, this is mine. ;-)

202.


"Watcher, can I bail or do you need an escort?"

"An escort…of course not! I'm not in a wheelchair, for God's sake!"

"That was rude."

"Excuse me…?"

"The wheel-jab. Mind your tongue next time."

"Oh. Spike, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, yeah. Nevermind. Just try to make it to your place in one piece. I'm not into collecting Watcher-parts."

"Very…funny…"

"Yeah, I'm Laugh-A-Minute Bloke tonight…"

"Thank you for-"

"Oh sod that! Watcher, I gotta be off. Take the stake."

"You're carrying a stake…?"

"No, just a prickly piece of wood! Of course it's a fucking stake!"

"Calm down."

"BLOODY HELL! Right, take it and be gone."

"Good-"

"…"

"Bye."

203.


"HOLD IT."

"Oh fuck…now what?"

"I'm aiming at the back of your skull. One false move-"

"Oh no…not *you*."

"Hostile 17. Digging's over."

"Digging? Hounding and shooting, you bloody prick! Takes more than a flipping shooter to make a man outta you!"

"Shut up!"

"*Wanker*. Where's the Slayer? I don't see a leash…has puppy broken loose…?"

"One more word and you're on the ground."

"Why not do it now? Spare me the witty banter…"

(…)

"How's that moron? *Who's* on the sodden ground now?!

"What are you gonna do? *Bite* me?"

"Sharp. In a word…yeah."

(…)

"Argh…"

"What the fuck are you *on*?! Steroids or some crap? Get away from me!"

"Saved by chemicals…thank you, Professor Walsh…"

"Bloody hell…tastes like acid!"

"Are you gonna stand there grimacing or make a move?"

"A move for what, you bleeding junkie?"

"Look, I don't *TAKE* drugs. I thought they were vitamins, I-"

"Vitamins?! Oh Christ…not another one of'em geeks."

"I WAS SET UP! And why the hell am I even explaining myself…"

"Set up by what? One of your Initiative buddies? You're all freaking loonies. Undercover and bugger what not…"

"I'm part of an experiment. It's in my blood."

"You're not human."

"I *am* human! I'm nothing *but* human!"

"And I'm nothing but vamp. Well, I was."

"What do you mean, you were? You *bite*! The implant's-"

"History, mate. Your glorious creation took care of that. Oh and one more step towards the shooter and you're history too."

"…"

"Where was I…oh, yeah. The vamp part. I bit you, cause I bleeding hate your guts. Be flattered."

"What are you saying…you're not gonna use your fangs?!"

"Nope. Not unless Red's willing, and she can be a daredevil, so I guess she will, if I watch my manners and kiss her a lot and do that as it is, so-"

"STOP BABBLING! Who's Red?"

"My girl."

"Oh my God…a female undead?!"

"Sod you, *NO*! You *know* her! She knows *you*, poor chit. It's Willow."

"WILLOW?!!"

"You're not gonna burst into tears, are you?"

"I think I'll just call it a night and go to bed…"

"The Slayer's gonna want happies tonight, mate. Be warned."

204.


"Buffy."

"It's Slayer to you."

"At last we meet."

"Yeah and isn't it sweet?"

"The world's mine."

"You're one for low-profiles, aren't you…"

"My masterpiece."

"And modest withdrawals."

"It's the end."

"Oh not by a long shot! I've got your game and it sucks, Adam. So it all stops here right now."

"You fool! You can't stop me! Or *them*! They're out there, taking over as we speak! Listen to them!"

"Sorry to contradict, but it's more the sounds of pain and extinction than heavy partying. Show's over, Adam."

(…)

"Slayer…! Even if you kill me, it doesn't change anything! You're still alone! And-"

"Oh spare me the platitudes, alright? I've got a little pastime of my own…oh lookie here, there's a PC on your tummy! Just let me-"

"NO!!!! Slayer, we can make a deal! I'll-"

"Too late. You're a regular Playstation, Adam! Full of fun and games!"

"Noooooooooooooo…………………………………………………."

"Nightie-night."

205.


"GRAY! Graham!!! Blink, move, *do* *something*!"

"Willow."

"Oh my God…are you *alive*?!"

"Werewolf…Are *you* alright…"

"I'm…not. You got bit."

"Just a scratch.

"Graham…"

"I know what it means."

"Oh Goddess…don't worry. It's gonna be OK…I'll heal you."

"How…"

"I'm a Wicca. I know the mojo…sorta."

"Sorta…?"

"I'm kinda like a novice. But this'll be a test…"

"Willow, you're bleeding."

"Huh…? Oh this. It's OK. He just had long nails…"

"Help me get up."

(…)

"Gray, we gotta get you to hospital."

"No! Willow, I hate doctors…I, uh, just-"

"Here. Hold it tight."

"Thanks. Sorry I ruined your-"

"Oh, don't worry. Shirt's dead anyway…tell me when you need more."

"It's the end of the line, Will."

"What…"

"For me. Goodbye Military."

"Don't say that! I can cure you! I just need a few herbs and Giles and-"

"It's my decision. I can't be on both sides."

"Both sides?"

"Human and sub-terrestrial. They don't mix."

"…"

"It's funny, I always thought I'd die in combat. Like a hero…how's that for…unfunny?"

"You saved my life back there. Don't forget that."

"I can't forget you."

"You don't have too. We're friends…I *really*, *really* dig you."

"…"

"OK, this is the buddie kiss. One kiss equals friendship. Sorta like a bracelet or something."

"Sure."

"Don't smirk!"

"I'm not. Some buddie kiss…"

"Graham Miller…"

"Affirmative, Mam! At your service…"

206.


"XANDER, YOU'RE THE *MAN*!!!"

"I am…."

"You're also lying half-unconscious on the ground, head on my knees. But still the man…my man…"

"What happened…"

"You kicked ass. That's what happened! Chaos-demon, big bad bully. You *whipped* him!!!"

"Oh hell."

"What?!"

"Willow."

"Well, she deserted *us*! If she's into dying-"

"Anya! Spike's gonna have my neck for this!"

"No. Not after tonight. You declawed a C.-D."

"C.-D.?"

"Chaos-Demon, you ninny! They're lethal! High up there in the gutting mortality ranks!"

"Do I get an Oscar for this?"

"No, you get an Anya."

"Close enough…"

"…"

207.


"Red…RED!"

"Honey…Spike…"

"Oh bloody hell, thank Christ you're whole…how come you're *ALONE*?!"

"Don't holler…this has been one of the longest nights of my life…"

"One of the shortest in mine. The Slayer kicked in Hulk's entrails. She was gloating when I got there."

"Gloating…*Buffy*?"

"Well, nah. I kinda found her spaniel for her and she gushed a bit-"

"Riley???"

"Right. Lap-dog Finn."

"Oh Goddess, what did he *do*?"

"Nothing. A tad whiny, that one."

"He did…NOTHING?! Did you run…?"

"Fuck *no*! We fought man-to-vamp. Fair and square."

"*How*?!"

"Pet…Adam's off. The sodden military's off too. I'm on."

"Spike, if you speak Fiarl, I'll have a better shot at understanding! What exactly is going on?"

"I'm fixed. I can bite."

"…"

"Don't cave in, love. It's not *that* bad!"

"Spike…what does this mean…"

"Just that I can claw, fang, gut my way back into polite society."

"Are you gonna drain me now…"

"Bloody hell! NO! I'm trying to make sense for your sake, pet. I'm a player, I'm still nuts about you. I can't go back."

"Spike…are you for real…?"

"I don't lie. Well, not *all* the time anyway and-"

"…"

"That was *some* snogging!"

"I love you, you ninny! I'm crackers about you, whatever that means…I'm so glad you're safe…where are the others?"

"Who cares? Snog me again…"

"Spike, we gotta find them! Let's go."

"Red, what's that gash on your shoulder…and *blood*???"

"I got scratched by a werewolf. Gray got bit."

"*Gray*? Was the bloke with-"

"Yes. He saved my life. Don't hit the roof. Or, uh, the sky…"

"Blimey. He got bit…?"

"Yeah. I just took him to Giles, but I had to come find you. This is his gun."

"Yeah. Kinda doesn't go with the ripped shirt, Peaches…and the blood."

"OK, lick me. It's fast and saves time."

"…"

"How's that?"

"Beats microwave dinners…"

"Don't suck…"

"I'm not…hmmm…."

"Don't moan either. Spike, save some for later. Let's find the gang."

"Right. To the Spikemobile!"

"The what…?…"


THE END