Title: You Always Hurt The One You Love
Author: Crazy_Girl_Mary
Email: crazy_girl_mary@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: They’re all Joss’ and probably some other people but hey I’m a rebel so I play if I want damn it!
Summary: Angel dies, but Buffy isn’t ready to lose him yet. There’s only one way to stop his death, to go back in the past and kill his murderer, but that also means encountering her worst enemy, the devil who wears her lover’s face and his three companions Darla, Spike, and Drusilla at the height of their madness.
Pairings: No real pairings in this one, just friendships, but you could call it a B/A aftermath or a B/Aus infatuation.
Spoilers: Buffy has come back from heaven, and Angel has Conner, but he’s not grown up yet.
Rating: NC-17 (Just to be safe) there are a few strong sexual exchanges as in banter
Author’s Comments: I finally have a website! Isn’t that exciting! I know I’m excited and I’ll be even more excited if you email me with your challenges and reviews.

“This one’s cute,” Angel said in the doorway. He had his hands wrapped firmly around Tara’s pale neck. Her face was turning red but she was able to breath enough to stay conscious. Buffy turned in horror and met the cold glittering eyes of her mortal enemy. Beyond him about five vamps were holding Willow back. “Buff, tell Red that if she doesn’t stop fighting and if she tries anything her tasty little girlfriend will just be the beginning of my meal, K?”

“I think she heard you,” Buffy answered slowly and Willow stopped fighting and began to cry as the five vamps clamped her arms and waist roughly.

“You know,” Angel commented running his finger down Tara’s cheeks slowly following the path of her noiseless tears, “I’m very very disappointed that things didn’t go as I had planned. I was thoroughly enjoying the fact that you thought I was completely harmless. But, I’ll enjoy this way of torture just fine too!”

“What happened?” Buffy asked sadly. “Was it something I did? Did I make you happy somehow? Or were you never cursed to begin with?”

Angel smiled that evil smile that tore her heart out much easier then he could ever do by hand. “Now Buff, I understand what you mean by that, but see,” he pointed with the knife towards everyone else in the room, “See, they don’t understand what you mean, so I’m gonna explain and catch everyone up to date, and if you feel the need to make an outbursts,” he returned the knife point to Tara’s throat. His hand clamping around her mouth stifled her cries. “I would curb it.”

“Over a hundred years ago, when I was still relatively young, I came across a young woman who intrigued me. She was beautiful, exotic, and strong. I had known women before, and I thought a little chase would have her dead and out of my system. I played with her for a while, but she was strong, she was a Slayer, and she killed my sire, Darla, then used a spell to disappear into thin air.” He winked at Buffy and the rest of the room stared at him for the rest of the story. “I found some items of hers,” he pulled the gun from his pocket and threw it to her feet. “Don’t bother Buff, it’s not loaded,” he cautioned before abruptly continuing, “Some items that I had never seen before. For years I searched the globe for this mysterious woman, the yearn to kill and possess stronger then ever before. I had just about given up hope of ever finding her when I heard of a beautiful and powerful Slayer, in Sunnydale, the most powerful ever, it was said, and I knew whether this was my girl or not I had to have a piece of her. But something told me, Buff, you were my girl.”

“Never!” She said lunging towards him. Spike grabbed her and pulled her back and Angel let the tip of the knife cut into Tara’s soft neck and she cried out.

“I asked you nicely not to interrupt. I’ve been waiting over a hundred years for this I think I deserve my moment don’t you?” She didn’t give him the courtesy of an answer, “Anyway! So I came here, and sure enough there you were. But it was obvious you didn’t know who I was, not yet anyway. Over the years I had learned that the words of the spell you used belonged to a potent time traveling spell only a most powerful witch could perform, yup Red, that’s you.” Willow looked questioningly at Buffy, the tears from her eyes had stopped flowing but they still mapped lines on her white face. “So I was patient, waiting for the one day that things would be different, I just knew they would be different. I wanted you to remember just what you did to me, to Darla, before I cut into you Buff!” His voice was grating like a maniac now. He no longer had the control he was known for, like he would snap at any minute and kill them all.

He suddenly returned to his gleeful self and glanced around the room, “I see everyone is still confused, so why don’t you tell your story huh Buff?” Buffy looked around. Spike was still holding her back and when she shrugged out of his arms to pace the kitchen Angel lifted his knife back to Tara’s neck roughly and Willow cried out and began to struggle again.

“My story,” Buffy began. “Well you know, mom met dad in high school, and they were in love and you know what happens when two people are in love. There’s this whole melding of bodies thing.” Angel was not amused. Buffy sighed, “Soon after I was called me and my mom moved to Sunnydale.”

“Don’t leave out any of the lovely explicit details babe,” Angel rasped then licked the blood that was flowing from Tara’s cut neck, eliciting more cries and struggling from the two girls.

“I met a guy, he was sweet and beautiful and saved my life on numerous occasions.” She frowned at Angel’s beaming expression. “He was everything that you are not! In the same body. I soon found out that he was a vampire.”

“A sweet vampire? How can that be? Why don’t you tell us cause we’d really like to know?” Angel instigated.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to mention the curb your outbursts rule. I thought you had the concept down, but apparently not.” Buffy rasped at him and Spike grabbed her arm before she could strike him.

“Yeah,” Angel said, “Um, Charlotte dear, could you dial Donnie please?” he asked the brunette who was one of the vamps holding Willow back, his mate. She pulled out a cell phone and soon she was talking to someone on the other end. Angel took the phone, “Yeah, Donnie, you’re still in LA right? Yeah, good. I think there’s someone special you can pick up and bring home for dinner.” His tone was clear and menacing and Buffy had no question now that this was soulless Angelus, and that his intent was to bring Dawn into the mix.

“No, no!” Buffy pleaded, “I’ll do what you say, just leave her out of this.” Angel grinned, “I’ll get back to you,” he mumbled before giving the phone back to Charlie. “That’s the Buffy I know, the 'sacrifice herself for the world' kinda gal! So please continue with your endearing story.”

Buffy gathered her bearing and paced as she spoke, “This vampire was good because he was cursed by Romany Gypsies for killing their sacred daughter. As punishment, they returned his soul, and he had to live forever remembering all the pain and suffering and horrible things he had done and caused during his time as an evil vampire.” Everyone looked shocked, even Tara who was no longer crying and paying keen attention to the story. “We fell in love, and…” Buffy sighed and glared at Angel knowing there was no way she could get out of telling the whole story but trying anyway, “And the curse had a glitch and he turned evil again.”

“What! Now what a second! What glitch? Please explain… lover.” The last word was mocking and threatening.

“With the curse, he was supposed to suffer forever, not live as human, not be happy. If he were to experience true happiness his soul would be taken and he would kill whoever he had gotten close enough with to experience happiness.”

“And that was you Buff.”

“That was me. You killed my teacher, and tried to kill me and my friends, and my mom, but I couldn’t kill you because I loved you. Then you tried to open the gates to hell to end the world and I had to kill you to close the portal. Willow was working on doing the same spell that returned your soul and right before I killed you, you turned back into him, and I had to kill him.” Buffy fought back the tears. That had been one of the hardest experiences of her life. “Somehow he came back from hell, but we could no longer be together with the curse, it was too dangerous to risk so he left town.” Buffy sighed once more and stopped her pacing.

“Now for the grand finale!” Angel announced.

“He went to LA, and stayed there for years, we both moved on with our lives, but I still loved him. I got a phone call that he was killed saving his son from an ancient vampire hunter named Holtz, who had been brought to the future to kill Angelus and avenge his slaughtered family. He left a note in case he were to be killed that he would want his son left in my care.” She could see everyone wondering about how he had a son, “His son, was a miracle, birthed by,” she glared at Angel, “Darla, who he killed saving my life, who was also brought to the future.”

“So what happened next?” Angel asked with mock excitement, “Don’t leave us in suspense!”

“I was a wreck after Angel died, I was unprepared to take care of his child, and Willow found a spell that would send me into the past. The mission was to kill Holtz so he could never be brought into the future to kill Angel.

“But something went wrong?” Angel interrupted.

“I ran into Spike, and then Angelus, Darla, and Drusilla at the hotel I was staying at. Darla was trying to kill me, so I staked her. You were crazy and tried to kill me. You chased me to a mausoleum and I had no escape. I figured that if Darla was dead, she couldn’t have a son and Angel would’ve never risked his life to Holtz to save this son. Sketchy, I know, they brought her back from being dead anyway, but I was in a jam. So I said the spell and came home to this.” She glared at Angel, “Does that pretty much cover everything?” she asked snidely.

“Yeah,” he said, “Except what happened here. Your watcher, killed Dru, so I killed him, you came to avenge the ol’ Brit and earned yourself that pretty little scar, and we’re pretty much enemies of the hardcore fashion. This town, because of me, and my clan, is very uninhabitable by anyone other then you. You were in the process of getting Red and the Mrs. out of town so you could nuke the place before the whole switch up. By the way folks, the reason I know all this is because the Slayer slept in my bed last night,” Willow gasped, “And she had a nightmare and I was touching her and all of her memories shot into my brain in this weird sort of… crazy switch thing! I must say this Buffy is far from New and Improved! She wears skirts and looks pretty and she’s not very tough.”

“I killed you!” Buffy said. Angel just scowled back. “Xander and Anya?” Buffy asked.

“No Buff, I didn’t kill them, I didn’t get the chance, they took off with Cordelia and Oz to God knows where!” he answered.

Buffy was relieved to hear this. “Why don’t you let Tara and Willow go, and me and you can settle this,” she was desperate, “any way you like.”

“Wow Buff,” he rasped, “That sounds appetizing but I think I’m gonna have to pass. I like them right here and you’ll still give me whatever I want. Besides I don’t need the little witches running off to do something drastic.”

Buffy didn’t glance over at the table but she knew the spell that had sent her to the past was scrawled on a paper there and the necklace was still around her neck, but how could she say that whole spell. “I have a proposition.”

“Oh Buff,” Angel said prodding Tara’s neck with the sharp knifepoint again, “I don’t think you’re in any place to make propositions, do you?”

Buffy smiled, “Oh but you’ll like this one. When I said you could have me anyway you wanted I meant just that.” She took a step closer swinging her hips and Angel released Tara and another vamp grabbed her. “And I think I know how you want me.” Angelus stepped closer, bouncing the knife down her tight shirtfront but not cutting the fabric.

“Do you now?” he asked. A breath wouldn’t flow between their bodies now.

“In an old dress perhaps?” she asked, her lips grazing his neck. She knew she was playing with fire but it was the only chance. “Running through a cemetery? In about an hour?” His face was priceless, and she knew she had him at dress.

“I like the images I’m receiving. You know, this Buffy, she never wore dresses, but you seemed very at home in one.”

“Oh you’re missing out,” this time her lips grazed his earlobe, she was standing on her tippytoes, “This Buffy, she’s very at home in leather mini skirts, she’s very at home in nothing at all.”

Maybe he knew she was playing for him, but he didn’t care. If he was being had, he wanted it that way. “I’m game to see that,” he said happily. “But I don’t understand why you are.”

“Well, the way I figure it is, one of us is gonna die tonight, so why shouldn’t we both have a little fun before hand?” Buffy said, all her sexiness and charm were running low and she felt like spitting right in his smug face. She also hated the fact that the thought of them having a little fun made her body long for it.

“I couldn’t agree more,” he said. “So, why don’t you go on upstairs and put on that dress and I’ll send these two girls to a safe place.”

“Where?” she asked, her harsh tone returning.

“My apartment, they’ll be fine, and then we’ll fight, and if you win, obviously you get them, if I win, obviously I get everyone!”

Buffy glanced at Willow and she looked away shocked that her, from the looks of it, rough and tumble, no-bargains-Slayer-friend was making deals, giving sex even, to the nemesis. But they didn’t know that wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She smiled, “Sure, why not, ya know, I don’t even know this Willow and Tara anyway! Hey, why don’t ya take Spike while you’re at it, I don’t like him much in any dimension.”

“Is that so?” Spike asked as a vamp grabbed his arm and started to drag him out to the car. He fought like crazy but soon they had him out cold and Willow and Tara followed. They put them in the car and Buffy stood on the front porch and watched. “Oh, and Buff,” Angel added from the passenger window, “Do something pretty to your face and hair like you used to, and if you’re not in the cemetery in a half an hour, they die.” He winked and the black window rolled up. She watched the car disappear down the unlit street and when it did she quickly ran into the house and grabbed the spell off the table.

She ran up the steps three at a time and pulled the dirty dress out of the bottom of the closet, and put it on. She straightened herself in the mirror, then ran back down the steps and picked up the gun, which had been left on the floor. She checked it, and like he said it wasn’t loaded. She found some bullets in her closet and ran back down to the kitchen table. She sat down and started the spell, in five minutes she was gone. *** She landed right where she aimed too, in the trees just outside of the cemetery. She could see Angelus heaped on the ground, screaming at Holtz, taunting him, just like she remembered. “Come on Holtz, you can’t do any better then that? This would be about the time she saved his life. But she knew he was alive in her future so something else must have happened to keep Holtz from killing Angel. The three men with Holtz had long stakes, but they didn’t look like they would kill Angel without their boss’s permission and she knew he would want to do it himself. Holtz was furious, and she knew from the Watcher’s Diaries he had been tracking Angel for some time. He was totally capable of killing Angel at any moment, but would most likely want him to suffer, and that would be how Angel got away.

If Holtz’s aim was simply to stake Angel, he could’ve done that by now and been over with it, but he wants him to suffer, and doesn’t know that if he were given the opportunity to torture him for an eternity it would never be enough. He also doesn’t know that Angel will become good, and that he will kill an innocent father in the future. He also doesn’t know that tonight he will die, and she will stop him from killing that innocent father.

She suddenly remembered that when she had went to the past before Angelus had been lured out of the house by her and had taken her into the cemetery. She realized how lucky it was that he had come out without being lured by her and wondered what other victim or frightening plans for torture managed to lure him to that spot at that time.

Buffy was shaken from her thoughts by shrill shrieking. Her eyes left Angelus’ beaten body and focused on two more approaching horses belonging to Darla and Spike. They scared Holtz’s three companions out of the clearing and into the trees, and the two vampires closely follow with their glowing yellow eyes focusing in on the enemies, focusing in on dessert. Holtz was still afoot his horse near Angelus contemplating whether he should retreat to safety while he still could or stake the vampire and face the others.

The eerie battle cries of the female vampire return as she emerged from the tree line again. Holtz got hastily back on his horse and took one last look at his foe, “I will see you to Hell,” he muttered before riding quickly away.

“One of these days,” Angelus answered back with menacing laughter in his voice, “If you’re lucky.”

Holtz came into the trees very near Buffy. She watched Darla easily lift Angelus up onto the horse and ride off towards Spike and the three horsemen. Then she turned and followed the hoof beats of Holtz’ horse as quickly as she could. The twigs and branches ripped at her dress and skin but she was running on her last hope, not only for Angel, but for herself and the life she left behind which seemed like so long ago.

She skidded to a stop as she came to a sudden clearing deep into the forest. A make shift hut was centered in the clearing smaller then a four car driveway. There was no smoke coming from the chimney, but that would be like an obnoxiously obvious flare or a neon sign, ‘hey vamps here I am!’ His horse was outside, asleep standing up and she wondered if the man was the same way. She realized she probably never would’ve been able to find Holtz without encountering Angelus or another member of his happy little family anyway.

She crept towards the window so quietly that even the horse didn’t notice. She looked inside and saw him sitting at a small table big enough for one to sit and eat. He was sharpening stakes. As if to send her conviction right out the window he slammed the stake and knife he was holding down on the hard surface, put his hands over his face and started to sob like an old widow at Sunday mass. She knew why he wanted to kill Angel, but she also knew he killed him at the wrong time. She lifted the gun to eye level; steadied it, and right before she pulled the trigger his head jolted up and his tearstained eyes met hers.

The gunshot broke the silence and she heard the horse buck and break away from the rope holding it, then the rustled bushes as it took off into the trees. The man was slumped forward onto the wooden table, his head still cradled in his hands, which were filling with red blood that was running across the small table and dripping to the floor in a gruesome song. She wondered if this was how Faith felt when she killed a man, and if she will ever be the same again. Can she truly call herself a hero, a savoir, a Slayer after she killed someone in cold blood?

Despite the ghastly scene, and the horrible deed she had to commit she knew that Holtz’ was more evil then good, and she knew that her life would be ruined in the future because of him. She made the choice to save Angel’s life by killing Holtz’ and she knew she could stand by that choice. She also knew that if she went home and found everything back to normal it would be all the easier to except what she had to do.

She remembered about the ear splitting gunshot noise that had just broke the silence and the spectators it could drawl and slowly dipped back into the woods. She knew she had to leave now, but how could she? How could she just leave Angelus, Darla, Spike, and Drusilla to kill hundreds of thousands of people forever? She knew she couldn’t start thinking like that. She had come for a reason, and she had to go back to her time. She loved Angel and her life and she couldn’t imagine him never being in it.

A world without him would be Hell, not to mention all the people he had saved. She knew she couldn’t justify the murders Angelus had committed and she didn’t believe the people he had saved canceled out the people he had tortured. She wiped the thoughts from her mind as best she could and with trembling hands she pulled the spell from her dress and begin to whisper the words peering out through the branches to the window with the dead man inside as the sounds of nearby men calling to each other about the gunshot neared with new conviction and determination to have her life back. *** Buffy opened her eyes and let in the bright sunlight. Deciding it was a much better idea to come back to her life in the daylight. She looked down at her torn soiled dress and up at the sound of someone’s rushed entry into the kitchen. Dawn bounded in on her way to the cereal cabinet. “Oh hey Buff,” she said happily, “What are you wearing?”

Buffy jumped from her seat and attacked her younger sister in a fierce bear hug. “Oh Jeez!” Dawn gasped bracing herself. “I didn’t really think that was a hug worthy question.”

Buffy let her go only to plaster a big sloppy kiss to her forehead. “I love you!” she said.

“I love you too,” Dawn said happily. “Can I get breakfast now? I’m gonna be late for school.”

“No,” Buffy replied wiping the tears that had started to run, “Go. Eat. Learn.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dawn asked eyeing her sister’s tears and dress.

“I think so,” Buffy said worried suddenly, “Everyone else is good right?” she asked hurriedly.

“Um, never better.” Dawn started pouring her bowl of cereal. “Why don’t you go get a cold shower and get changed, or some sleep of something,” she suggested quizzically.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, she couldn’t remember a time in her life she was more happy or relieved, “I think I will.”

The End