* * *

Angel stared unseeingly at the flames in the fireplace in the mansion. It wasn’t cold at all, but that didn’t bother him. He supposed he should put it out, Buffy would be there soon and he didn’t want her to get heat stroke. She’d be uncomfortable enough as it was.

-We both know that I shouldn't be here

This is wrong

And baby it's killing me, it's killing you

Both of us trying to be strong-

He could hear Joyce’s words repeating in his ears, telling him that he needed to be the one to make the choice. He needed to let Buffy have a chance at a normal life. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity with Buffy in his arms, but the most important thing to him was Buffy’s happiness. If he left she might have a chance. There were so many things he couldn’t give her. He couldn’t even go out in the sun with her. She might say she didn’t, but he knew she’d want to be a mother someday. The same day that Joyce had come to see him, Giles had told him that they had found out that his soul was permanent. He was on cloud nine, and about to call Buffy to tell her, when Joyce had entered the mansion.

-It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye

And tell you I don't love you-

Buffy came in and smiled sweetly, kissing him softly. He looked at her face. She was the most perfect, beautiful thing he had ever seen. And he was going to break her heart. He moved her over to the couch, sat her down and, holding her small hand in his large one, told her that he was going to LA. He was needed there, and it was too hard for him to stay in Sunnydale after all that had happened, but it wasn’t her fault. He had to make her understand that she was not at fault for his leaving. She remained silent the whole time, her doe eyes looking at him miserably. She let tears flow freely down her face.

-It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to lie

To show no emotion

When you start to cry-

After he had sent her home, looking so lost and sorrowful, he had sat in front of the fireplace, his head in his hands, and sobbed. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he had given her up. In a way, he was proud of himself. He had listened to that old adage about "if you love something, set it free." On the other hand, she was his *everything*. She was the sun to him, the light and warmth of his life, and he had sent her away after breaking that heart he had set out to protect those three years earlier.

-I can't let you see

What you mean to me

When my hands are tied

And my heart’s not free

We're not meant to be-

Three years. It had only been three years, but it seemed so much longer than the century he had spent living on the streets in Manhattan. Yet, it had seemed like such a long time. Perhaps, because ever since he had first seen her, she was in his mind ever moment of his life. Even if she wasn’t on the forefront, she was there; buried not too deeply so that she would easily drift forward to be his main focus, once again. Even when he had been Angelus, he’d been obsessed with her.

-It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To turn around and walk away

Pretending I don't love you-

The fact that he hurt her saddened him even more deeply than the fact that he had sent the one who possessed his heart away. He did it for her own good, though. Buffy would have no problem getting male attention. She might not want it right away, but eventually she would. The image of Buffy with anybody else sent a sharp pain to his heart, but she deserved love. She deserved a guy who could give her anything.

-I know that we'll meet again

Fate has a place and time

So you can get on with your life

I've got to be cruel to be kind-

He’d go to Los Angeles, get a place there. Whistler had agreed to meet him and help him fight for humanity there. If Buffy ever needed him he’d be close enough to be back in a flash to help her.

-All my love I'll be sending

And you will never know

There can be no happy ending-