Chapter Seven – Trouble

I never meant to cause you trouble,

I never meant to do you wrong,

And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,

Although I never meant to do you harm.

They spun a web for me…

-"Trouble" – Coldplay

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cordelia stared at Buffy in shock. She swore that the look she was giving Giles was going to incinerate him any minute now. Trying to relieve the tension, which she knew just wasn’t possible, she said, "Buffy! - Buffy's here - in town. - What brings you back to – "

Buffy stepped into the room and threw her bag down on the floor. "Well, I was hoping to throw a party, maybe have some of my new friends over for coffee and cake, but I though hey – why not visit my watcher instead" Her tone was obviously sarcastic.

Cordelia laughed, though the Queen of Tact couldn’t conceal how much she knew Giles was going to be yelled at. Oh, she SO did not want to be in the room when that went down. "What a surprise then!"

Buffy glared at Giles, and then gave Cordelia a fake smile. "Cordelia how are you?"

Cordelia nodded nervously. "Good. I'm good. You?"

Buffy looked at Giles. "I've been better"

Cordelia nodded again. "Uh-huh - Well, you know Xander and Oz and Willow, so you can just say Hi to them"

Xander was about to say something when Cordelia grabbed his arm, puling him out the door. "And this is us leaving you two alone"

Willow gets up and glances back at Buffy, giving her a sympathetic look. "It just slipped out – "

"Forget it Will. This is not your fault" Buffy said, closing the door behind them. She turned back to Giles, who had trouble meeting her eyes. "Well, umm, it's good to………" Giles stammered. "Can I get you anything"

Buffy walked farther into the room. "How about - an explanation? Who do you think you are keeping something like this from me?"

"I’m sorry Buffy, but it’s a little more complicated then – "

"What is it? Another torment to maybe make Buffy come back to Sunnydale or maybe it was to keep her away? You can see him, but I can't? What are you playing here Giles!?"

"We're not - I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision -"

Buffy cut him off. "Which you made without me!"

"God damnit Buffy, I tried to do what I thought was right! It's complicated how this all happened"

"Why is it always so complicated with you?! You didn't feel that I was important enough to even tell me that Angel was here"

"I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're important, that I needed to protect you – "

"Oh no, do NOT give me the ‘I kept it from you for your own good’ bullshit. I'm a big girl now, Giles. I'm not in high school anymore. I teach at a school of magic, and a lot has happened in my life since I left"

"Don’t you think I know that?" Giles yelled, slamming his fist onto the counter. "Don’t you think I know how much this was going to kill you? I didn’t want you to find out this way! Like it or not, I didn’t have much of a choice. When it comes to Angel, your decisions are often careless and thoughtless and – "

Buffy shook her head, crying. "Shut up!" She screamed. "I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me, and I do NOT need you to fight my battles for me. I defeated Angelus. I sent Angel to hell. I have suffered through my own hell and high water for the past three months with Angel’s blood on my hands, and I was doing a damn good job of dealing until you went and kept something like this from me!"

"I'm sorry if I handled this wrong Buffy, but what else did you want me to do? Your dreams don’t sound like you’re getting over this"

"Then after hearing about them from Willow, you should have told me to come home" Buffy’s glare softened and she looked down at the floor. "I don’t know what’s going to happen with me, and I’m sorry that you don’t trust me enough to be able to handle this. It’s just – I just know that when Angel’s around, whether I see him or not, - I feel him - inside - and it throws me"

"I know"

"I knew he was coming back. And then – knowing that he has and I almost didn’t know – that’s more then I can bear" She looked up at Giles, tears streaming down her face, glaring once again. "I wish I could keep my distance. I wish I could forget. But I can’t. He will always be a part of me" Buffy stated firmly. "And if you can’t deal with that – then I’m just going to walk away. It’s your choice" Buffy grabbed her things. "Let me know when you decide" She opened the door and, with barely a backwards glance, walked off into the night.

Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Oz scrambled away from the window as Buffy came storming out.

"Buffy!" Xander called as Buffy walked off down the block.

"Buffy, please come back! You need to talk to him!" Buffy ignored all of their protests and headed off towards a place she knew she could be alone.

Willow looked at Xander and were about to go back in the house when Giles came out to them. "Where is she?" He asked putting his coat on.

"Maybe her mom’s house?" Oz offered.

"Her mother kicked her out – not the place she wants to be right now" Cordelia said, once again feeling like she was stating the obvious.

"The high school?" Giles offered.

"Yes, because Buffy wants to go back to the place after she’s been kicked out"

Willow stopped, suddenly knowing exactly where Buffy would be. "Umm – you know, we can cover more ground if we split up. I’ll go check out the playground near Austin Road, and you guys can check out some other places"

"Good idea Willow – we’ll meet back here in two hours then?" Giles said. They all nodded and went their separate ways. Willow kissed Oz and whispered in his ear, "Tell the others not to follow me and keep Giles away. I know where she is"

"Where?"

"Just do it" She said, kissing him again. "Please?" She pouted.

"Okay – just be careful okay?"

"I will, I promise"

Willow headed off in the direction of the playground, but made a turn off of Austin Road instead of onto it.

She knew exactly where Buffy would be –

Angel’s apartment.

~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy was laying on the bed, trying to get some thinking done. As soon as Dumbledore realized that he handed her the wrong letter, he knew exactly where she was headed, exactly what she would want to do.

And he agreed with her.

Something like this should not be kept from the grieving slayer. This was one time he could not agree with Rupert Giles’ judgment. So, he did the only thing he could do. He changed the letter into a portkey headed straight for Sunnydale with a prayer that Buffy would get there in the right state of mind.

And safe.

Safe she was. Her state of mind, however, was another matter entirely. All she wanted was to see her Angel again and the fact that she could and that he was going to be kept from her…Buffy swiped at her eyes with the thought. She walked into the bedroom and laid down. She curled up in a protective ball and, blocking out the rest of the world, she fell asleep.

This was the way Willow found her half an hour later.

Willow sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed her friend’s back soothingly. "Buffy?"

"Mmm…" Buffy awoke, her eyes fluttering to the suddenly bright light. "Willow" She said sitting up. "What are – how did you find me?"

"I knew you would be here. It was sort of a given" She held her friend’s hand. "Buffy?"

Buffy just shook her head. "I completely screwed up. I shouldn’t have – it’s just that – he’s here and – he didn’t want to tell me" Buffy looked at Willow, her eyes full of tears. "How could he keep this from me Willow?" She started sobbing openly. "And why?"

Willow pulled her friend’s head in her lap and gently stroked her hair. "I can’t breathe, Willow. I feel like I can’t breathe"

"It’s okay" Willow said soothingly. "It’s okay. Buffy look at me" Buffy sat up and looked at her. "Giles is going to be gone for the next few hours. Angel is in the basement of his house" Buffy’s eyes widened at this announcement. "I’ll – I’ll go back with you. But he’s – he’s not himself"

Buffy stood up. "I want to see him. Come with me, but – I think I need to do this alone"

Willow nodded, understanding completely. She grabbed Buffy’s bag and put her arm around Buffy’s shoulders, the two of them walking out the door.

The walk to Giles’ couldn’t have seemed longer. 20 minutes felt like twenty days. Willow opened the door and stood by the couch, while Buffy went to the basement door, tentatively opening it. She looked at Willow, who nodded. Buffy nodded back and opened the door the rest of the way hesitantly.

Buffy quietly walked down the stairs. She tried not to make a sound –

And there he was.

Angel.

Her Angel.

Buffy saw that Giles had chained him up using the chains that were usually reserved for Oz at his time of the month. She tentatively approached him. "Angel?"

Angel looked up at her. To most of her friends, he was probably unrecognizable, a feral animal to sedate until he returned to normal.

But she could see it in his eyes – it was Angel. Her Angel.

He seemed to back up from her until she gently caressed the side of his face. He instinctively nuzzled into her caress, and she could barely hear his whispered mention of her name. "Buffy"

Her heart sang.

~*

Giles re-entered his home to find Willow sitting on the couch. "Willow?"

Willow looked up at him, her resolve face coming to the surface. "I knew where she was the whole time. I knew you wouldn’t find her because I wanted to be the one to take her home. She’s where she belongs"

Giles just looked at her and walked over to the stairs, quietly entering the basement, already knowing what he would find.

~*

Buffy wished Angel would hold her in his arms and never let her go. But, instead, it was the opposite. She put her arms around him and he laid his head in her lap. Buffy cradled him in her arms and leaned down, burying her face in his back. "I knew you’d come back" She whispered.

Giles watched from the stairs, feeling tears come to his own eyes. He realized what he was doing by keeping them apart. Seeing them together, he realized how wrong he was –

And how right they were.

Buffy tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, but she couldn’t any longer. They flowed freely. She suddenly heard Angel whisper something, and she felt her heart stop.

"Soon"

Buffy nodded. "No. Now"

She kissed his shoulder, right above the tattoo she had looked on admiringly so many times, and could now do so again.

Because he was home.

And he was never leaving her again.

:: Chapter Eight ::