Chapter Nine – Better Part of Me

Something says to me don't be afraid

But if I don't worry I'll surely slip away

I need to speak to you, hear what you say

But if I breathe too hard I think I'll go insane

There's a part of me so insecure

Of all that I could have and all that I've gone through

If there could be a way through a better design

I'd probably screw it up and let it slip away

Well I wonder if I stayed here would you become a better part of me?

-- "Better Part of Me" – Course of Nature

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One week later…

Angel was in Giles’ livingroom in front of the fireplace. He was alone, as, at three o’clock in the afternoon, everyone else was at school.

Everyone but Buffy, who had to run a few errands, and left him alone, if only for a few minutes.

Angel walked past the fireplace, shivering from the cold. He stopped and paced back. He turned to go back again, but was startled by some rustling at the door. Slowly he walked to the doorway, quickly pushing the door open, and there he found Buffy, holding a small paper bag. He jumped back a little, startled.

"It's just me." She said, holding out the bag. "Here."

Angel took the bag and opened it as he walked back into the room. Buffy followed him in, but kept her distance. Angel remained faced away from her. He pulled a quart-sized clear plastic container out of the bag filled with blood. Angel lifted it to his nose and sniffed.

"How are you feeling?"

Angel jerked his head away slightly from the tub of blood, then lowered it to take off the lid. "It hurts... less."

"Good." Buffy was unsure how to continue. She turned around and took a few steps away before facing him again. "Look – I – "she sighed. "I want to help you. I – I need to help you, but – you seem to be growing away from me. Distant. It’s like – I don’t know Angel. Are – do you want me here?"

Angel just looked at her, seeming confused by her words.

"You know what? I’m just – I’m just going to go, okay? I have to get some stuff to send to Faith – "

"Buffy."

"You know books and stuff – "

"Buffy." Angel said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It isn’t you, okay? It’s just – this is going to take me – I’m – I’m not sure what I’m doing, and it might be better – best to – "

"Keep my distance." Buffy said, looking down. "I know." She nodded and walked over to the stairs. "I’ll be in my room if you need anything." She paused a moment before slowly walking up the stairs and throwing herself on the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. She never saw Angel come into the room to watch her sleep.

*~*~*Hogwarts*~*~*

"1860 – London, England." Faith said, pacing back and forth in front of the class. "Our boy Angelus sees a girl, couldn’t have been more then nineteen or twenty – and there’s something about her that fascinates him, something that he can’t rid himself of. So, with ideas of evil birds singing in his head, he decides that this girl will be his next conquest. Her name was Drusilla. Dru was able to see things."

"See? Like – visions?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"Yes. But unlike Professor Trelawney, her visions came true – always. They never failed. She believed that this sight was from Hell, and Angel used this against her. He killed her while she was confessing to a ‘priest’ and turned her into one of them. And she went stark-raving mad. Literally mad."

Some of the class was utterly shocked. Some looked as if they were disgusted. But her "boyfriend"?

Intrigued.

Leave it to Draco Malfoy to be interested in the most gruesome story ever told.

Faith smirked and was about to continue when, unexpected, an owl flew in and dropped a letter on the desk.

"Sari. How nice to see you again." Faith said smiling. The owl ruffled her feathers and flew away, undoubtedly to the owlery to get some rest.

Faith read the letter with wide eyes and then shook her head laughing slightly. "Buffy, Buffy – what are you doing?"

"Is that from Professor Summers?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. She says that her friend is coming along well and that she hopes to see you all soon."

What the letter actually said was an entirely different story.

Faith,

Oh God – where do I begin? It seems that the problems just keep piling up waiting for me to throw them into the flames. I don’t even know where to begin. How’s the class holding up? Well I hope. I know you probably think I’m crazy for wanting to tell the truth all of a sudden. But think about it – wouldn’t it be nice for them to know? I think so.

On a darker note, Angel is getting better. He’s still a little off, and very withdrawn. He’s afraid to get close to me again. I’m trying to stay away to keep my distance, but it just hurts so much. More then I can bear.

Now, for the fun stuff. Giles found a prophecy – perfect timing watcher-man. I am still SO pissed, you have no idea. But he does. I’m sure by now you’ve seen it but here, for your viewing pleasure, your very own Prophecy of Divinias.

I am not of this world

I am of another, a universe unseen,

A force untouched, evil incarnate

The First, unbeatable,

Yielding power to those who seek it.

I remain undestroyed,

I alone command the dark,

I alone control suffering.

I alone control the Light.

Spirit as one entity,

Can defeat the bringer of hell,

The destroyer of magic,

A tale solved with time.

See, but do not watch

Listen, but do not hear

Talk, but do not speak

I alone bring darkness

Not alone can I stop death.

If you can figure out what this means, you’re a hell of a lot faster to catch on then I am – no comment.

Hoping to see you in a few weeks,

Buffy

*~*~*Sunnydale*~*~*

Te implor, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte.

Nici mort, nici al finite,Te invoc, spirit al trecerii. Reda trupului ce separa omul de animal!

Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta, sufletul la el.

Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!

Acum!

"Buffy I don’t understand. What exactly are we looking for?"

Buffy shook her head. "Something that will tell me whether or not my instincts are right. I think – I think his soul might be permanent."

Willow just looked at her. "Buffy, I – "

"I know it sounds crazy, but – I can just feel it." She looked over Willow’s shoulder at the translation she had on the screen, craning her neck to get a better look at it. "Wait."

"Wait what?" Willow said, looking at her.

"There – that line. Look at your translation." Willow did so – her own notebook had the words in English neatly written underneath the Romany.

Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta, sufletul la el permanti.

Let this Orb be the vessel that will carry his soul to him.

"Okay? I still don’t know – "

"Now, look at Jenny’s."

Willow did and saw the difference. "After ‘him’. Jenny’s translation, there’s nothing."

"And in yours, there is – permanti." Buffy said.

"Permanent." Willow looked up at Buffy. "Oh my God. How did you know?"

"I felt it. I saw it in his eyes." She looked at the screen. "I just knew." She hugged Willow. "Did I ever tell you how much I loved you!"

"No, but this works – Buffy’s I can’t breathe."

Buffy pulled away, smiling. A genuine smile. Something Willow hadn’t seen in months. "Ah, now there’s something I haven’t seen in a while."

"Well get used to it Will. Because he’s back." Buffy sobered a little before adding, "And he’s here to stay."

~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy walked down to the basement the next night to a very unexpected – but nonetheless interesting – sight.

Angel was shirtless, practicing the slow, elegant forms of T'ai Chi.

Buffy walked to the doorway and stopped just to watch him, amazed at the fluidity and smoothness of his motions. Angel didn’t notice her right away and continued the exercises. When he raised his head, he saw Buffy standing there watching him.

"Buffy."

Buffy looked down briefly, slightly embarrassed to be caught watching him like that, and then looked up at him again with a little smile on her lips. "I didn't know you could do that."

He gave her the briefest glimpse of a small smile as he tried to straighten himself up from his slightly bent stance.

"I - I'm feeling better." He couldn’t maintain his posture, and bent back over, supporting himself with his right hand on his knee. Buffy rushed to his aid.

"Angel..." She helped him stand up straight saying, "Let's get you to sit down for a while."

There was a fire going in the fireplace. Buffy picked up a small paper bag as they went past the coffee table in front of it.

As Angel took the bag from her, he said, "It's late. Shouldn’t you be asleep or something?"

"No. It’s only two – that’s early for me." Buffy said settling down on the couch with her legs curled under her. "I’ll probably be a regular energizer bunny for the next – " she yawned and then smiled sheepishly. "Ten minutes or so." She laughed a little and shook her head. "I think I should have stayed out of the pjs."

"Maybe."

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments before Angel got up and moved towards the basement. "Where are you going?"

Angel looked at her. "To get a shirt."

Buffy nodded. "Right."

By the time Angel got back up the stairs, Buffy was fast asleep on the couch. Not wanting to disturb her, Angel grabbed a blanket from the chair next to them and draped it over her. She stirred slightly, but did not awaken.

Angel just watched her sleep for the second time that day.

And wondered if he would ever do anything else but watch her from afar.

:: Chapter Ten ::