Chapter Eleven - Subconscious Connections
"With dreams come responsibility"
The thunder rolled in the sky that night at Hogwarts. The lightning struck in bolts, connecting more then just clouds and rain.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
BUFFY: What are you doing?
DAWN: I have to jump. The energy.
BUFFY: It'll kill you.
DAWN: I know. Buffy, I know about the ritual. I have to stop it.
BUFFY: No.
DAWN: I have to. Look at what's happening. Buffy, you have to let me go. Blood starts it, and until the blood stops flowing, it'll never stop. You know you have to let me. It has to have the blood.
SPIKE: Cause it's always got to be blood.
BUFFY VOICEOVER: It's Summers blood. It's just like mine.
BUFFY: She's me. The monks made her out of me.
FIRST SLAYER: Death is your gift.
BUFFY: Death...
FIRST SLAYER VOICEOVER: ...is your gift.
Buffy frowns and turns around slowly.
DAWN: Buffy ... no!
BUFFY: Dawnie, I have to.
DAWN: No!
BUFFY: Listen to me. Please, there's not a lot of time, listen.
BUFFY VOICEOVER as Buffy turns around and dives off of the platform into the portal: Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Lily! Take Harry and go!"
"No James. I won't leave you!"
"He's coming - Lily, please!"
There was a flash of green light.
"There is no good and evil. Only power and those too weak to seek it"
"You think you know, who you are, what's to come. But you've only just begun"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dawn awoke with a slight scream. She shot upright and looked around. "Where am.." She rubbed here eyes, and the previous night came back into focus.
She, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had decided (for privacy's sake) to hang out in Dawn's room and talk.
Instead, they had a massive pillow fight, dissolved onto the bed in mad fits of giggles, and fell asleep soon after.
Together.
On her bed.
Hermione was lying with her back against Harry's chest. His arm was draped casually over her side. Ron was stretched out, his hand to the side where she had previously been holding it.
Dawn rubbed her temples, trying to remember what exactly it was she had been dreaming about. She vaguely remembered something about Harry and...were those his parents?
'But how could I know that?' She brushed her hair out of her face, confused because that wasn't all she had dreamt about.
She heard Tara speaking at the end, but why the words were familiar, even though she couldn't remember them...she had no idea.
~*
Harry awoke with a slight start. He glanced around the room and thought he saw Dawn sitting up at the edge of the bed. He slowly slipped his arms from around Hermione and sat up.
He finally understood why Dawn was so upset by 'that whole key thing' as he and Ron had begun to call it.
Buffy died.
For her.
In her place.
The scene was still as vivid as ever in his mind. He finally understood why this group was so close. After sharing something like that, who wouldn't be?
Harry saw Dawn get up and slip out of the room. He decided to follow her.
Tara's words were still ringing in his mind, louder even then the scene he couldn't seem to forget.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
DAWN VOICEOVER: I'm not like you, Buffy. I don't have anybody.
BUFFY: What?! Of course you do. You have me!
DAWN: No, I don't. You won't even look at me. It's so obvious you don't want me around.
BUFFY: That's not true.
DAWN: Yes it is. Mom ... died, and it's like you don't even care.
BUFFY: Of course I care. How can you even think that?
DAWN: How can I not? You haven't even cried. You've just been running around like it's been some big chore or something. Cleaning up after Mom's mess.
Buffy slapped Dawn across the face. Dawn yelped and put her hand to her cheek. Buffy put her hand over her mouth in horror.
BUFFY: Dawn ... I've been ... working. I've been busy, because I have to-
DAWN: No! You've been avoiding me.
BUFFY: I'm not! ... I have to do these things, 'cause ... 'cause when I stop, then she's really gone.
BUFFY: And I'm trying. Dawn, I am, I am really trying to take care of things, but I don't even know what I'm doing. Mom always knew.
DAWN: Nobody's asking you to be Mom.
BUFFY: Well, who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who's gonna make things better? Who's gonna take care of us?
DAWN: Buffy...
BUFFY: I didn't mean to push you away, I didn't. I just, I couldn't let you see me.
BUFFY: Oh god, Dawnie...
BUFFY: I don't know what we're gonna do. I'm scared.
DAWN: Buffy...
BUFFY: Dawn. .
DAWN: It's okay. It's okay.
Buffy and Dawn sitting on the ground together.
BUFFY: Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
DAWN: Why do you care?
BUFFY: Because I love you. You're my sister.
DAWN: No I'm not.
BUFFY: Yes you are. Buffy lifts Dawn's arm. Her arm and hand are still bloody
BUFFY: Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood.
Buffy presses her hand against the tire-iron wound on her shoulder, wincing a little. She clasps her bloody hand in Dawn's bloody hand.
BUFFY: It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or, or how you got here. You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
Dawn looks at her for a moment, then hugs her tightly. They both get teary- eyed.
DAWN: I was so scared.
BUFFY: Me too.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Death is your gift"
"Stop it. Just - just stop it! I've already given my gift to the world. What more do you want from me?"
"Your gift"
"But I've already given it!" Softer, "I don't understand"
"You will"
"You think you know who you are, what's to come. But you've only just begun"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel awoke with a start, accidentally jostling Buffy awake.
"Oh god" he whispered.
He had seen it. All of it. The way she suffered when her mother died. He had only been there for a few short hours, a few short kisses. She said she was "needy". He would have given her the world, if that's what she wanted.
But what was this about blood? He put a hand over his face, trying to make something out of everything. He knew what it meant - but why?
Buffy reached up and tenderly stroked his cheek. She tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe the worried look off her face. She had dreamt of the first slayer. Again. And she still reminded her of her gift.
Buffy didn't understand. Did she have to die a THIRD time? She couldn't bear it again.
They couldn't bear it again.
HE couldn't bear it again.
"Are you alright?" Angel asked her.
Buffy wrinkled her nose. "No. I dreamt about the first slayer again. And at the end, I heard Tara...again, saying the weirdest thing. 'You think you know, who you are, what's to come - "
"But you've only just begun? Yeah, I heard it too"
"Great. We're sharing dreams again. Whenever we share dreams, there's a big evil lurking about" She sighed. "It figures, huh? Never could get a vacation"
Angel kissed the top of her head. "I know" He glanced at the clock - 7:30.
"We should go talk to Giles"
Buffy nodded. "OK"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Who are you?"
"A friend"
"What if I don't want a friend?"
"I never said I was yours"
"I don't understand"
"Your not supposed to. You weren't meant to. You want to help him? Give him your strength"
"My strength?"
The woman nodded.
"I still don't understand"
"Like I said, you're not supposed to. Not until the time comes. You think you know who you are, what's to come. But you've only just begun"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione awoke groggily, but bolted upright when she remembered her dream.
"Give him your strength - Ron, wake up!"
Ron groaned and sat up. "What?" He hissed.
"Where's Harry and Dawn?"
Ron suddenly became very alert. "I - I don't know. But I just had the strangest dream"
"Me too. Give him strength - don't know what the hell THAT was all about" Ron paled. "Ron? What's wrong?"
"'Mione - we had the same dream"
"WHAT?"
"Did your dream end with Professor McClay speaking to you?"
"You think you know who you are, what's to come"
"But you've only just begun"
They glanced at each other. "We need to find Harry and Dawn and go talk to Professor Dumbledore. Now" Hermione said, getting up.
"And possibly Professor Giles?"
"Agreed"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy is walking through Faith's apartment, her arms crossed in front of her. There are cardboard boxes stacked everywhere. Buffy stops and sees a cat jump up on Faith's bed.
Buffy: "Who's going to look after him?"
Faith: "It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?" She walks up behind Buffy and stops next to her.
Buffy: "A higher power guiding us?"
Faith looks at her then turns away and keeps around: "I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant"
Buffy looking down: "There's something I'm supposed to be doing"
Faith: "Oh yeah. - Miles to go - Little Ms. Muffet counting down from 7-3- 0"
Buffy grimaces: "Great. - Riddles"
Faith standing in front of the broken window looking out: "Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff"
Buffy looks at her with a half smile. The cat on the bed turns for a split second into the image of a girl (Faith?) laying on the bed in white gown at the same time as Faith still looking out the broken window says: "They are never going to fix this, are they?"
Buffy concerned: "What about you?"
Faith turns around and gestures at her head: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades"
Buffy looks down with a frown. For a split second Faith's bloody knife appears in the palm of her hand.
Faith as Buffy looks back up: "You want to know the deal? Human weakness - never goes away. Not even his"
Buffy with a half smile: "Is this your mind or mine?"
Faith with a short laugh: "Beats me"
~*
Buffy is in her bed in Joyce's house, sitting up startled. The covers are rumpled around her. She lies back.
Buffy is suddenly standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking at the bed, the blankets rumpled.
BUFFY: Faith and I just made that bed.
TARA: For who?
BUFFY: I thought you were here to tell me. The guys aren't here, are they? We were gonna hang out (looks at Tara) and, watch movies t-
TARA: You lost them.
BUFFY: No. No. I think they need me to find them.
The digital alarm clock next to the bed says 7:30 AM.
BUFFY: It's too late.
TARA: Oh ... that clock's completely wrong. Here. Tara holds out the Tarot card "Manus"
BUFFY: I'm never gonna use those
TARA: You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. But you've only just begun
The bed is now neatly made.
BUFFY: I think I need to go find the others. She leaves.
TARA: Be back before Dawn.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Faith awakened and sat up in bed. The dreams were still present in her mind.
Realizing what they meant, Faith sighed and threw the covers off of her.
"Oh, fuck" She threw a sweater on and ran off to find Giles.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry followed Dawn to one of the towers. It had a fairly large balcony overlooking the grounds. Dawn was standing outside watching the stars set and the sunrise. There was still a fair amount of lightning, but no thunder or rain. Dawn's hair was blowing about her face and - was she crying?
Harry approached her carefully. "Dawn?"
Dawn had her eyes closed and they fluttered open and looked at him, not so much surprised as confused. "Harry. Did you follow me up here?"
He came out onto the balcony. "Yeah. I saw you leave the room and I was worried, so I followed you. Why are you crying?"
"Just remembering. I rarely go onto any balconies or high platforms anymore. They remind me too much of...of.."
"Of your sister's death?" He whispered, and then put a hand to his mouth. He hadn't meant to say that out loud.
'Shit, shit, shit...'
Dawn spun around. "How did you - "
"I - I dreamt it. I - I saw the - the whole thing. Everything"
Dawn was so bewildered, she didn't know what to say. "I - I dreamt about your parents"
Harry looked at her with wide eyes.
"I don't know how or - or why, but - I saw it happen. And then, Tara was there, and she said the weirdest thing to me. 'You think you know who you are, what's to come"
"But you've only just begun? Yeah, I heard it too"
"I don't understand. Why are we trading dreams here?"
Harry sighed. "We should talk to Professor Dumbledore"
"In a minute" She said, turning around. "I want to watch the sunrise"
They stood there in silence, not saying a word, but understanding all the same.
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