Title: Gratitude
Author: Luisa
Email:
Pairing: B/G, W/T, X/A
Rating: R (to be on the safe side)
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, please ask.
Summary: After a close encounter, Buffy makes the mistake of showing Giles
her gratitude - How will he react?
Spoilers: Through Season 5. This is set in my own little AU, where Buffy
never left UC Sunnydale, Dawn doesn’t exist and all the stuff with Glory
never happened.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy yada, yada. I
promise I’ll return them the way I found them. No infringement intended.
Feedback: Yes please!
Thanks: So much to Rari for the superb betaing. Much appreciated!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 1
It was past 10pm, and Buffy Summers knocked hesitantly on Rupert Giles’
door. Even after all this time, she still wasn’t sure where she stood with
him. Although it was great to be working side-by-side again... something
seemed amiss. Actually, even when she asked him to be her Watcher again he
had seemed strange. It was as if he was keeping something from her.
*What’s the big, Buff? After all, you’ve got your secrets too.*
She rapidly squelched that train of thought. It would do no good to moon
over him while on patrol - that would likely get them killed.
*I wonder if he’s gone to bed - usually he’d have his porch light turned on
by now.*
She was just about to fish for her key when she was bathed in light and the
door opened.
“Ah, Buffy,” Giles smiled that gentle smile and extended an arm, “Do come
in.”
“What took you so long?” Buffy teased as she brushed past him. She missed
the odd look he gave her as he brusquely answered, “Do I need your
permission to use the bathroom?”
At least she had the grace to blush. “Sorry.” She changed the subject
quickly, “So, Watcher-mine, you ready for patrol?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He replied with a smile, quickly masking his
face to hide his earlier reaction while he picked up his sword and weapons
bag. As he bent over to retrieve his bag, Buffy found herself admiring the
cute curve of his butt.
“Giles?” She began, and caught herself suddenly as she realized she was
about to spill her feelings.
“Yes?” He turned to her ushering her out the door. She was silent for a
long moment, seeking something to cover up her mistake.
“What is it, Buffy?”
“Nothing, Giles. I was just thinking how nice it is working with you
again.” *Phew. Covered up that one well.*
He gave her another odd, unreadable look. “Y... Yes... it is...isn’t it?”
They patrolled together for a good hour, talking amiably. After a short
while, Buffy sensed his tiredness and suggested that he head home.
“Go on Giles. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks; you deserve a
break. I promise I’ll stop by after I finish patrol.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind...” his voice trailed off, and he tried
hard not to look hopeful.
“Yes. I’m sure. Now go.” she insisted; only just catching a glimpse of a
fleeting emotion cross his face. She couldn’t believe it - he had actually
looked relieved. She managed a tight smile “Go, before I change my mind”.
Why hadn’t he put up a fight? She wondered. She didn’t even hear his quiet
“be careful” as she watched his retreating figure, wondering for the
millionth time why all the guys in her life were so willing to leave her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He hated being glad of her agreement to their separation - it wasn’t normal.
Usually, even when she was busy in college he felt her absence sorely,
although he could never put a finger on why he missed her so much. He
supposed it was just because they were together so often, and were so much a
part of each other’s lives.
As he left the cemetery, he started walking in the opposite direction to
home. He knew he was a fool to go alone, but he knew that someone needed to
patrol the seedier parts of Sunnydale, knew that Buffy would never choose to
walk those parts again. They held too many memories for her: the alleys
where Riley allowed vampires to feed off him, the street going past the
mansion, the caves where Adam killed Forrest, the old factory.
His heart ached for her, and he wished yet again that he could take all her
pain, despite knowing that he never could. Reaching destination number one,
he pulled his sword out of its sheath, preparing for battle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy continued to patrol alone, twirling her stake absentmindedly through
her fingers.
*What is up with Giles? First he acts all mysterious when I ask him to be
my Watcher, now he can’t wait to get away from me. Why do I have that
effect on people? The whole reason I haven’t told him...*
A newly risen Vampire rudely interrupted her train of thought, lunging
straight toward her. She spun around and landed a kick in the groin.
“God, that’s so typical. The men I want all leave, and here you guys are,
supposed to be afraid of me, yet unable to keep away from me.”
With a spin and a punch, she drove a stake through his heart, and then
whirled around, catching the vamp that had snuck up behind her by surprise,
and spearing him as well. As he exploded into dust, an unmistakeable voice
cut through the air.
“Well, well. If it isn’t the Slayer. And fancy that, she’s all alone...
again. Never mind love, you’ve always got me.”
She tried to ignore the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach at the
realization that she really was all alone.
“Spike, didn’t you get it when I uninvited you? I’m not interested in you,
and don’t wait around, ‘cause it’ll never happen.”
Spike just smirked with his usual air of arrogance, as he strode out of the
shadows.
“What’s wrong, Slayer? Has good ole Rupes left you too? Wouldn’t surprise
me - you always did use to use him like a public library.”
*That’s right, you never considered his feelings once, did you?* her
conscience taunted. She tried to ignore the voice, but it persisted, *You
believe you love him, but think about all those times you dumped him so
quickly to go to the Bronze, or be with Riley. You never thought about or
cared if you might be hurting him. And you know how angry he was when he
found out about Angel being back.*
She kicked a nearby headstone angrily as she tried again to disregard her
conscience. Instead, she was faced with more of Spike’s jibes.
“I bet he’s looking forward to getting his own life back - you know, the one
you stole from him. Probably off to pack, right now.”
She couldn’t help but picture the hopeful look on his handsome face as she
gave him ‘her permission’ to go home. Waves of depression washed over her,
and she dropped silently to the ground.
Spike was thoroughly enjoying himself and as he watched Buffy become even
more dejected, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of triumph that his chip
couldn’t stop him from breaking people emotionally - even if he did ‘love’
Buffy.
*Hey, I am evil after all.*
He took another step towards her, gearing up for another round of insults
when she turned toward him, snatching Mr Pointy from her jacket sleeve.
“One more step, Spike, and you’ll end up in hell.”
He shrugged at her, “Been there, done that.”
“Okay then...” she paused, trying to remember his weaknesses, “One more
step, one more squeak out of you, and you’ll never see Manchester United
again.”
The vampire seemed to think it over for a minute, before making his
decision. With a parting shot of “We’ll meet again, Slayer!”, he fled into
the darkness once more.
She just sat there muttering about how pathetic he was to herself.
“God, Spike, of course we’ll see each other again. Probably tomorrow, in
fact. Just as soon as you need more money from Giles.”
*Giles…*
Her thoughts turned to him once more. She hated to admit it, but Spike was
probably right. She had treated him like dirt *for his own good* she
reasoned, and now he was probably leaving because of it. *Why was he so
keen to leave me? Why did he look so relieved?* Try as she might, she
couldn’t even begin to fathom it.
Silent tears trickled down her cheeks, and as she wallowed in her self-pity
she didn’t notice the three shadows creeping up around her. By the time
they attacked her, she couldn’t even be bothered to fight back. Life
without Giles was no life at all. She was dimly aware of one vampire
snatching Mr Pointy dangling limply from her hand as she realised that she
may as well let these guys take her out.
The vamp that appeared to be in charge couldn't believe his luck. He’d had
his minions pin her down, but the Slayer wasn't even struggling. He let out
a roar of triumph, as he pointed her stake at her heart. This would be his
first Slayer - hopefully the first of many.
She closed her eyes, knowing that this was the end. *I love you, Giles.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bedraggled Rupert Giles walked through the quiet streets of Sunnydale,
heading home at last.
“I certainly could have done with Buffy’s help tonight” he mused to himself.
He looked at his watch. He ought to hurry back, Buffy should be arriving at
his apartment in about half an hour, and if he gave any indication that he’d
gone out alone he’d get the lecture of a lifetime. He broke into a jog.
Giles froze as he heard a loud and evil laugh ring throughout a nearby
cemetery. Buffy should have covered this one after he left her. Had she
missed something hiding there? The evil voice spoke, spurring him into
action.
“You’re mine, Slayer!”
Giles ran through the cemetery as fast as his legs would carry him, stopping
short at the sight of his precious Slayer pinned down. A brief thought
flitted through his mind.
*Why isn’t she struggling? Get up, Buffy! Oh God, what if it’s too late.*
For a moment he couldn’t breathe, then he charged at one of the vamps
pinning Buffy down. Caught off-guard, the leader of the vamps looked around
for his attacker as the minion to his left suddenly exploded in a shower of
dust.
Giles' sudden presence was enough to convince Buffy that she was being
pathetic.
Inspired, she quickly took advantage of her oppressor’s lack of
concentration, snatching Mr Pointy out of his hand with her free hand and
plunging it into his chest before he even registered that he no longer held
it. Fearful, the second minion let go of the Slayer and fled, too busy
panicking to look where he was going, and hence missing Giles’ sword slice
through the air... and the vamp’s neck.
“I believe that’s all of them” Giles commented casually as he wiped the dust
from his sword, unaware that he sounded calmer than he felt.
Buffy looked up from her position on the ground over to where he was
standing, overwhelmed by the love and gratitude flooding through her as she
realised how stupid she’d been to let Spike get to her, making her jump to
conclusions because of her loneliness. Without a second thought, she
flipped to her feet and crossed the clearing in a heartbeat, throwing
herself into his arms.
He was shocked at the sudden intimacy - they normally weren’t the type to
hug each other, even on special occasion - that for a moment he could only
stand rooted to the spot, enveloped in her bear hug. He quickly found
himself enjoying her affection however, and his arms wound themselves around
her waist of their own accord.
She sighed into his neck, enjoying his embrace, hugging him slightly
tighter.
“Thank you” she whispered, before raising her head to place a tender kiss on
the soft skin of his cheek.
He stiffened at the contact, *she must have been really anxious to be this
grateful* he wondered to himself before stuttering out a reply. “Y...
you’re m... m... most w... wel ... c... come”
She smiled against his cheek. It was typical of her watcher to get into an
awkward moment and stutter his way right out of it. She frowned slightly at
that thought. This wasn’t awkward for her. This was exactly where she
wanted to be: in his arms. Why should it be awkward for him? After all,
they had worked side by side for over four years. Shouldn’t it be natural
to be close like this? She sighed again, this time in frustration, even
while continuing to enjoy the feeling of his arms still around her.
Little did she know that he was berating himself for the very same reason.
He wanted not to feel awkward in this position, but it was incredibly
difficult. It just didn’t make sense that she would suddenly want to get
touchy-feely with him after distancing herself so often, although her warmth
was certainly…welcoming. He felt his body begin to respond in typical male
fashion, and found himself horrified by the direction in which his thoughts
were headed.
*Good lord, old man what are you thinking? This is Buffy... this is...
wrong... and inappropriate. She’s just a child.*
His body refused to listen to reason, and he drew back in an attempt to put
some space between them. He found himself looking into intense dark grey
eyes for only seconds, before watching her gaze move to focus elsewhere. He
gave a start as he realised she was looking hungrily at his lips.
*What _is_ going on?* he wondered to himself. He was so busy processing her
strange behaviour that he didn’t notice his own. Before he could stop
himself, his lips were descending rapidly toward her as hers rose to meet
his. They were stopped from meeting at the last minute however, by a crash
and a thump accompanied by a yowl of pain and several raised voices.
Shocked and appalled at his conduct, Giles took the opportunity to push
Buffy away from him abruptly, instead turning his attentions in the
direction of the sound.
“Who’s there?” he called into the darkness, pulling his sweater over the
bulge in his jeans at the same time.
Averting her wide-eyed gaze from what his hands were doing, and trying to
hide the hurt in her voice she swallowed the lump in her throat and joined
him in calling out, “Xander? Will? ‘That you?”
She heard Willow’s voice float back to her, “What gave it away? Are
Xander’s yelps of pain are that distinguishable?” she chuckled, and Buffy
joined in, although sadly.
Anya interrupted in a panicked voice before Willow could say anything else.
“Buffy. You’d better come here, I think Xander’s broken something”.
Gathering her weapons, Buffy started to reach for Giles’ hand but then
thought better of it and began striding towards her friends. Giles followed
at a distance, lost in his thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neither Buffy nor Giles could sleep for the rest of the night. Buffy lay
wide awake, staring at her ceiling holding Mr Gordo thinking of all the
could’ves, should’ves and would’ves of tonight. Maybe she should’ve let
that vamp have her, after all it appeared that Giles didn’t want her despite
his obvious erection earlier. She hugged Mr Gordo to her and sighed. After
her experience with Parker, she had gotten used to that fact that a male
reaction wasn’t a declaration of love.
*Typical men*.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles, on the other hand was lying awake for an entirely different reason.
All he could see whenever he closed his eyes were one of two things: Buffy
restrained by those vampires, looking like she’d given up the fight for life
and then the joy on her face at seeing him there, rescuing her. The fact
that she would probably be dead right now if he’d gone straight home like
she’d requested... no, demanded was a constant reminder of how close he came
to losing her.
*No, not going to go there...* he thought to himself blinking back unshed
tears.
Instead he focused on that picture of her so happy at his rescue. She’d
looked as if the very reason for her existence had made itself known,
reminding her why she couldn’t let the vamps take her. And the look he saw
in her eyes… he thought about that for long moments, trying to find a word
to describe the emotion he saw there, but try as he might, he just couldn’t
work it out.
He blinked twice at that in astonishment as he rarely ran out of words, but
then this was Buffy - she was after all, the exception to the rule...
correction, when she had come along, the rule book had gotten thrown out of
the window. He smiled a little at that thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was getting past the self-pity and onto the angrier emotions. She was
angry both with Giles and with herself. How stupid could she have been to
let her guard slip, after keeping her feelings so well hidden behind it for
so long?
*Stupid, _stupid_ Buffy* and she was angry with him as well. Okay, sure she
had tried to take advantage of the moment, but he hadn’t resisted – not at
first anyway. In fact, he had almost kissed her in said moment. She felt
used - like he’d played with her emotions, allowed her to have what she
wanted within her grasp and then stolen it away.
“Way to go, Buff”, she spoke to an empty room, “Blame Giles when it’s so all
your own fault”.
She scowled. He would probably never want to look at her again, let alone
touch her again. Well, as far as she was concerned, that left only one
thing to do. A lone tear trickled down her cheek as she made her decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles’ thoughts swam round his head, eventually coming to rest on the image
of her looking hungrily at him. At the thought, heat travelled through his
body.
*Oh dear Lord, what is going on?* he wondered, casting about in his mind for
something else to focus on - and failing. So he settled on thinking about
both of their actions: her obvious hunger and his… arousal.
*I can’t believe I nearly kissed her. What is happening to me?*
It was strange how he’d felt the most peculiar sensation of being drawn to
Buffy earlier that evening. It wasn’t a new thing, but he’d never felt any
reason to worry before, he simply thought they’d reached a new milestone in
their Watcher-Slayer relationship.
*I nearly kissed Buffy, I nearly kissed Buffy* it was beginning to become an
insistent chant in his head.
He closed his eyes, and rolled onto his side, willing the thought to go
away, instead envisioning her lust-filled face once more. As he felt a
definite stirring in his pyjama pants, he realised that something was
definitely not planning on going to sleep tonight. He sighed, and as he got
up and headed toward the bathroom, a sudden thought struck him.
*It’s got to be a spell... I’d put my money on this being Ethan’s doing.
We’ll research first thing in the morning.*
First, he needed a cold shower and some sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 2
At the Magic Box that morning the gang was unusually quiet, the only noise
that of Anya ringing up her sales.
Buffy and Giles were dutifully avoiding eye contact, and Xander hadn’t
cracked a single joke, due to the pain of spraining his wrist when he
tripped over a tree root the previous night. Even Willow and Tara were
talking in hushed voices sensing the discomfort within the group. As the
last customer in the shop left, Anya took the opportunity to sit down.
As she approached the table, she decided in her typical tactless fashion to
ease the tension in the room.
“Oh come on, what’s so bad? Is the world ending again? Xander, I know
you’re in pain so you’re excused from this lecture, but what’s the big deal
with everyone this morning? Willow, Tara? Why are you whispering? And
Giles and Buffy, I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s affecting sales - so
sort it out.”
To Xander, she added, “By the way Xander, I promise we’ll have lots of
orgasms later to make your pain go away.”
“Thank you Anya, for that wonderful insight to first-aid.” Came Giles’
derisive voice. Xander winced.
“Giles, was that necessary?” Buffy spoke up quietly for the first time all
morning.
“Oh, she hasn’t lost her voice then. Well, that’s one theory down the
drain.”
“Shut up Anya. For your information, I’ve been trying to work out how to
tell you all that from now on the Slayer works alone. Giles is no longer my
Watcher.”
Buffy didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence as the Scoobies all started
talking at once, the silence rapidly dissipating.
“But you can’t do that! We’re meant to work as a team!” Willow cried out in
protest.
“Yeah, you can’t just ditch us! We’re your friends!”
Xander hurried to back Willow up, glad to have something other than the pain
in his wrist absorbing his thoughts.
“Buffy, don’t be so stubborn and stupid” Anya added.
Buffy was just about to retort, when Giles’ hand appeared at her elbow,
grabbing her roughly before propelling her into the training room.
The rest of the Scoobies followed, even when Giles purposefully slammed the
door in their faces, and pressed their ears close to the door.
“Giles, what are you doing?” Buffy demanded, as soon as he released her,
practically throwing her into the room.
He ignored her question, starting to pace his familiar pattern of three
steps in each direction. The action bought a lump to her throat as she
realised just how much she would miss even this.
“Were you even planning on discussing this with me?” He snarled, a bit of
Ripper surfacing.
She blinked back tears. “Giles, this was never up for discussion. You know
that this is the end.”
He whirled on her, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her to the wall.
“Tell me why. Why is this the end? After all I’ve done for you, all I’ve
given up for you.”
“Giles, you know I can break free of this” Buffy sighed in exasperation.
At her tone, Ripper fully emerged, Giles’ usually gentle voice turning harsh
and bitter. “Then why don’t you? Huh? Why don’t you run away, just like
you always do?”
“Giles…”
“Don’t ‘Giles’ me. You think you can just pick me up and put me down
whenever you want?”
“Giles, it’s not like that. Giles, you have to believe me. I... I...”
“Tell me how it is, then, Buffy.” Giles tried to calm down, tried to push
Ripper away and lock him back inside, lessening his grip on Buffy’s
shoulders as he instead imprisoned Ripper, stepping back a little.
Even with this freedom, Buffy couldn’t run, couldn’t push him away. He was
still the man she loved. She simply slid down the wall, tears falling
freely down her cheeks. Giles sank to the floor with her.
“Giles, about what happened last night... ”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yes, you’re under a spell.” She snorted in both disbelief and hurt at his
unintended insult to her feelings. He continued, ignorant of her reaction.
“I think it may be Ethan. I’ve wanted to research all morning, but I
thought maybe it would wear off. I see it hasn’t. It’s almost seemed to...
to strengthen. It appears his primary purpose would be to split up the
group and it looks like it’s working.”
Giles fully released his hold on her as he talked, and Buffy smiled a sad
smile.
“Giles, I don’t think so...”
“But Buffy, if it’s not a spell, then what’s happening?”
Another sad smile appeared. “I can’t tell you that, Giles.” She ignored the
bewildered look he gave her and began to get up, smoothing out her skirt,
deciding to put off her decision until she’d thought about it some more.
“I’m sorry for what I said just now. It was stupid. You’re the best
Watcher there is - why would I want to give you up? And the gang? They’re
so supportive - even Anya. I was just...” Her voice trailed off as she
looked for an excuse, “I was just testing you all. Wanted to make sure we
were still a lean mean fighting machine and all that.”
She extended a hand to help him up, which he accepted. Fire shot through
her at his touch, and she looked away, trying to keep her feelings under
control.
“By the way, you all passed.” She commented, as she opened the door and the
gang fell in.
After some disgruntled mutterings, the group soon made up, but Giles was
still wary with Buffy. The last 24 hours had been very odd indeed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the day passed, Buffy retreated more and more into herself, only speaking
when spoken to, even then seeming distracted. She was lost in her thoughts.
*How could I have been so insensitive? Giles must hate me for what I said.
For making him look like such an idiot. I never meant to make things
worse.*
She threw even more vigour into her training than ever before that
afternoon, and Giles was growing worried about her. Finally, after she
nearly destroyed the punch bag, he spoke up.
“Buffy, are you alright? You don’t seem very... happy.”
Kick, punch. “I’m fine Giles.” *I’m fine because you’re not touching me at
the moment*
“If you’re sure...”
“I’m sure, Giles.” *I’m sure that I can’t ever do this again, I can’t keep
getting mushy and distracted by you in my line of duty*
“If you ever need to talk, Buffy...”
“I know, Giles” *I know that I went about it the wrong way this morning*
“Okay then.”
“Whatever. Are we done?”
Suddenly feeling awkward and unsure from where it came, Giles looked down,
taking his glasses off to polish.
“Yes, I suppose so. Are we patrolling together again tonight? Or... or...
do you want to go alone?” Damn! He hated sounding so unsure of himself.
The silence stretched out as Buffy thought about it, and Giles wondered if
he should have waited for her to invite him, instead of volunteering.
Finally she answered him, “Yes, okay. Same time, same place?” *One last
time*
“Oh well, actually I thought that maybe we could go out earlier tonight.
After all we were at the hospital quite late with Xander last night, I
thought it might be a good idea to catch up on the lost sleep.”
“Great idea Giles. As usual, you are the brains of the team. So, what?
Eight o’clock good for you?” *No demon activity that early on in the
evening. Too light. That way he won’t be so much of a distraction that we
get killed*
He looked momentarily startled at her suggestion then agreed. “Okay. We’ll
meet at 8pm at my apartment.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a little after eight, when Buffy showed, and as Giles let her in he
gathered up his weapons with a slight smile. Punctuality had never been one
of Buffy’s strong points. The thought that had been foremost in his mind
since their conversation nagged at him again as he passed by his
bookshelves.
“Um... Buffy? Don’t you think it’s a little light for patrolling? Surely
no vampire or demon will be out this early. Do you want to wait a while
before we head out?”
Buffy thought quickly, “It never hurts to be on the cautious side, Giles.
Besides, we can stay out as late as you want, and double-check the
cemeteries on the way back. Hey if you want, you can bring a book. We can
research what we hunt. It’ll be just like old times.” *Talk about a fitting
end.*
He smiled widely at her suggestion as he chose a book, “Yes it will, won’t
it?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They patrolled a complete circuit of Sunnydale and only had to kill one
pathetic demon, before they came to a rest in the first cemetery they had
searched. They settled down by a tombstone, and Giles opened up his book
searching for the demon they had encountered in the pale light of the
setting sun.
Suddenly Buffy realised that the sun was setting. Her heart began to race,
adrenaline like she’d never experienced pumping through her. She hadn’t
enjoyed a sunset in forever. For her, day usually turned straight into
night in the blink of an eye.
“Oh, Giles!” Buffy squealed, waving her arms like an excited eight year old,
“Just look at that sunset! Isn’t it amazing?”
Giles looked up from his book distractedly. “Yes, Buffy.”
“No, Giles, you’re not looking.” She grabbed his hand, pulling him up.
“Look properly” she instructed.
“See all those reds and purples? I guess we’re so used to the darkness that
we never really enjoy this part of the evening. Look, look.” She tugged at
him again. “Oh wow” she suddenly breathed, “Just look at that: those clouds
look like an eagle in flight. I’ve never seen that before.”
Finally Giles looked toward the horizon, intrigued.
“Where? Buffy, you’ve got an overactive imagination. I don’t see
anything.”
Buffy pulled Giles flush against her, her skin breaking out in hundreds of
goosebumps at the contact. She reprimanded him in an attempt to ignore the
wonderful sensations: “No Giles, more like you’ve got no imagination. Look
again. This time, look here...” her voice trailed off as she leaned closer
to him, inches away from his ear as she pointed out the amazing cloud
formation.
He could feel her soft breath on his skin, making it tingle.
“Gosh, that’s unbelievable” he remarked, his voice little more than a hoarse
whisper as a result of her nearness.
“Mmmm” she hummed, partly in agreement, partly from light-headedness from
the scent of his cologne as she moved closer still.
Gently she pressed her lips against the soft skin of his neck, unable to
stop herself. The contact sent tiny tremors shooting through her.
Giles stiffened in shock, not knowing how to react, unable to prevent her
gentle assault on his neck.
She kissed him again, lower, closer to his collar bone - wanting more of his
delicious taste, moaning in appreciation as the tremors turned into electric
shocks.
“Buffy” he whispered unaware of the effect of his use of her name. She felt
her insides go gooey at the sound of his voice and she brushed her lips up
his throat in response.
“Giles...” she paused her kisses at his chin, and he bowed his head to look
at her as she lifted hers to his. As their faces moved, their lips
accidentally met in a chaste kiss. All of a sudden Giles felt a powerful
shock reverberate around his body, and he grasped his slayer with both
hands, for which Buffy was grateful as the chance kiss transformed the tiny
shocks into huge currents of passion, her knees weakening.
Both pulled back from the embrace to look into the other’s eyes.
“Giles... “ Buffy repeated in a moan, caught in a haze of desire. Her gaze
moved to lock focus on his lips, and she hungrily captured them in another
sweet kiss, not even noticing the lack of response from Giles. She
continued feasting on his lips for several long moments, only one thought
looping in her mind: *God, I could stay here forever* she whimpered into
his mouth as he gently pushed her away.
“Buffy.”
She opened her eyes to look at him, finding him looking at her with an
expression of disgust.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy.” He pushed her far away from him and fled.
In the shadows of the sunset, Buffy sank to her knees and wept.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rupert Giles tossed and turned in his bed for the second time in as many
days. What the hell had happened tonight? The pull toward her had been
stronger than ever, and only by his strength of self-will had he managed to
resist her kisses. Oh, but Dear Lord, they had been so sweet, and he had
not wanted to resist. It had been a serious struggle. He was disgusted with
himself. Something was going on, spell or otherwise, and he had encouraged
it.
*Buffy, I’m so, so sorry. I should never have taken advantage of you.* His
brain tried to reason that it had been she who had taken advantage, but
Rupert Giles, ever the martyr accepted the responsibility as his.
He tried to ignore the memories of her passionate kisses, tried to forget
the taste she had left on his lips, which he’d guiltily pleasured in licking
off, savouring. He also tried to ignore his body’s now predictable reaction
to the memory. He’d already had to sort out his problem five times tonight
and was becoming increasingly frustrated. Angry, he rose to get a glass of
water and something to take his mind off the situation at hand.
As he descended the stairs he saw something on the floor by the door.
Curious, he hurried to the foot of the stairs and flicked his light on. He
squinted in the harsh light, and looked at his watch. 3am.
*Why am I letting this get to me so much that I’m losing sleep over it?*
Again his rain tried to reason with him, *You always lose sleep over Buffy*.
He hastily looked down to prevent that train of thought continuing its
journey, and saw an envelope with his name on it. His heart seized - he
would recognize her beautiful scrawl anywhere.
He rested the envelope on the coffee table and decided to forego the water,
opting instead for a glass of whisky. He had a feeling he would need it.
After putting the reading light on, he sat down, sipping the whisky and
opened the envelope to find a letter inside.
**Dear Rupert,** [he read]
*Rupert? Since when does she call me by my first name? *
**I’m so sorry for putting you through all this again, but I just can’t do
this anymore.**
*Do what?*
**It’s been so great training and patrolling with you again, and I’m gonna
miss it, I’ll miss you. But I’m sure you’ll be okay. After all, this isn’t
the first time the Slayer’s worked alone.**
*Maybe not, but we’re stronger together*
**I’ve just got so much I’m going through at the moment, there’s so much to
sort out in my head and in my heart. I’m sorry that this has to come
between us, but after the tonight, [here the tears had smudged the
handwriting;] things are different now. I’m not sure we can continue to
work together. I’m so sorry, Rupert, but think of it this way: you can have
that life you’ve always wanted, the one where you don’t have to watch me
[the word that followed was illegible, she had cried so much when she had
written it, but he knew what it said:] die.**
*Oh, Buffy* His heart suddenly constricted with pain, his eyes misting over
as he continued to read.
**Rupert. I never call you that do I? Maybe you’re wondering why I am now.
It just seems inappropriate to call you Giles in such a personal letter.
Rupert, I never told you how happy you made me when you agreed to be my
Watcher again, I’d felt like a part of me had been missing for so long.
God, just writing this makes me feel that emptiness again, but I refuse to
burden you with that. I’m sorry for my carelessness and selfishness in the
past and even now. I’m sorry for what Angel did to you.**
*Where is this coming from?*
**Like I said I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t train with you, or
patrol with you - I don’t think it’s even possible for us to be around each
other any more. So, if you guys want to research something new in the Magic
Box, you’ll have to do it without me. There’ll be no need for me to come in
anymore if we won’t be working together.
I’m sorry, Rupert, so sorry, and I don’t think I can stop being sorry. I
know I’ve put you through hell so much since we met, but at least I can
definitely promise you won’t have to suffer because of me any more.
So you see, it really is easier for both of us this way.**
*Is it really?*
**I’ll miss you.
Yours,
Buffy**
Giles replaced the now empty glass and the letter on the coffee table, his
‘problem’ now forgotten, as he suddenly realised how very, very tired he
was. Too tired even to cry over his loss.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Part 3
Bright morning light shone unfiltered through the window as Willow played
with Miss Kitty Fantastico on the floor of her dorm room. Suddenly she
heard an insistent knocking on the door. There was a pause, and then the
pounding resumed - harder, louder.
Willow got up and opened the door cautiously. Everyone she knew knocked
once before walking straight in. She wondered who else might be visiting
for a brief second, but upon opening the door Willows’ face lit up like the
sun.
“Giles!” She exclaimed happily. “Come in, come in!” opening the door
wider, she gestured for him to come inside.
“Tara’s out shopping at the moment, but she’ll be back soon. Would you like
a coffee? Oh no, that’s right you drink tea, would you like tea, then? Or
maybe just ice water? It is hot after all.” Willow babbled cheerfully as
she sank into a chair.
“Giles, sit down” she tugged on his arm trying to pull him down, but he
remained standing, considering how to approach this conversation.
“When you’ve quite finished Willow, you and I need to talk.” Giles teased.
Willow knew immediately what this was about and for her friend’s sake tried
to feign ignorance.
“Sure Giles, what do you want to walk about?” She hoped she still sounded
cheerful, unbothered.
“You know what” came his reply. She just smiled at him innocently.
“Willow,” he sighed wearily, bending over her slightly to lean on the arm of
her chair. “I don’t want to ask again. Please tell me why Buffy has
refused to train or patrol with me. Why won’t she even come into the Magic
Box anymore?”
Still Willow remained silent. She knew it was an unkind thing to do, but
she couldn’t betray Buffy’s trust, even if Giles _was_ (in her opinion)
towering over her.
“Willow,” his voice now held a note of warning, “Will you please tell me
what is going on. Now.”
She smiled meekly at him, “Giles, it’s not really my place to say.”
“But?” He emphasised the word heavily, knowing that Willow wasn’t very good
at keeping secrets, and that given time, he could get her to ‘fess up.
Willow couldn’t believe his persistence, although she knew it was to be
expected of any man who had received such a letter as Giles had.
“Can’t you figure it out?”
“Willow” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “If I
could figure it out, do you really think I’d be here like this, now?”
She shook her head “I... I guess.”
Giles sighed again, deciding to give up on this idea. He should’ve known
that Willow would be loyal to Buffy. He drew back and dropped into the
opposite chair.
“I’m sorry Willow. I shouldn’t have tried to intimidate you. I just don’t
understand what’s going on with Buffy right now. Is she under a spell?
Have I done something to upset her? It feels... empty without her.”
“But Giles, she feels the same” Willow interrupted, “She hates being without
you. She feels the emptiness too.”
“Then _why_?” he asked, pained.
“Men.” Willow huffed. “You just don’t get it, do you?” At his bewildered
look she dropped her bombshell.
“Buffy’s _in love_ with you.” Giles could only bark out a short laugh.
“In love with me? Willow, have you been drinking coffee again? The only
‘person’ Buffy will ever be in love with is Angel, and as far as I’m
concerned, I’m just... just...” his voiced began to trail off and he sought
anything to grasp as confirmation of denial, “I’m old and gross, remember?”
Willow shook her head slowly, a small hint of a smile playing around the
corners of her mouth.
“You can’t use that as evidence Giles, she only said that because she was
jealous”
“Jealous? Why on earth would she have been jealous? She’s an attractive
young lady - she could have anyone she wants. I’m sure there are plenty of
young men out there willing to…”
“She wasn’t jealous of the sex, Giles,” Willow interrupted, anger flaring in
her green eyes. Why did all men think everything revolved around sex? “She
was jealous of Olivia.”
Giles started choking with shock, but Willow continued, “Buffy wanted to be
the one in your shirt, in your bed...” she paused, “And in your heart.
Giles, Buffy’s been in love with you since the first second she laid eyes on
you. I mean okay, first it was just a crush and we would compare fantasies
about you - forget I ever said that - but after she saw you kissing Jenny in
the library... well, everything changed. I know what you’re going to say,
well don’t. I’m talking, so no interruptions.” She looked at him sternly.
He had finished choking and was simply looking at her with a look of utter
confusion.
“Giles, the only reason she was with Angel was, well he was a substitute.
She knew you could never love her. She thought Angel could make her forget
about you - she even had me convinced until I caught her doodling BS loves
RG in her math book one day. And Scott? Don’t make me laugh. Parker was
the same. They were both a no-go from the start. I think she just wanted
to forget everything that happened with Angel as result of loving you. I
think if she were ever going to tell you how she felt, it would have been
that night when Olivia was there. I think her heart split in two the minute
you spoke to her the way you did. She kept you at arm’s length after that.
I think it was just easier and... safer that way. She knew she wouldn’t get
hurt. I mean, come on Giles, you can’t have missed the fact that everyone
she cares about leaves her. Look at the evidence: first her mom and dad
get divorced. Then Merrick dies and she moves here - away from her father.
Then there was that whole thing with Angel going “Grrr” after they get
snugly. Scott... well, he doesn’t really count. And let’s not forget the
whole disaster that was Faith - after all Faith was the only one who
understood Buffy completely. But then Faith went bad. No Giles, I know
what you’re gonna say, and you’re wrong. You and me? We can’t possibly
understand what it’s like to have Slayer strength and healing, or what’s
it’s like to know you’re probably not going to make it past your eighteenth
birthday.”
Willow paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.
“After that, Angel came back, only to leave Buffy _again_. So she turns to
Parker, but he doesn’t count either ‘cause he was a poophead. Now, to top
it all off, her mom dies. How do you think Buffy’s going to feel after all
that? Do you really think she’s going to let anyone else get close? No,
because she doesn’t want to have her happiness stolen away again. And you’re
like her rock. She’s scared that if she lets you in as well, that she’ll
lose you, too. So she’s distanced herself instead - after all, it’s easier
to have you near but not near enough than to not have you at all. If you
left I reckon she would kill herself - you’re her reason for living.”
Willow paused, as she let that information sink in.
“I suppose you’re wondering where Riley fits in. The answer is he never
did. Not really. He was never a Scooby and he certainly wasn’t the great
love of Buffy’s life - that space has your name on it - in fact she never
loved him at all. Don’t you know that’s why he left? I guess for her, all
he ever was... was just... safety, and protection and basically he was
scratching her itch. I’m sorry, it sounds crude I know, but he knew that
Buffy didn’t love him. He told Xander as much after Xander got split in
half, but he never cared. I reckon he thought she would grow to love him.
That or he would _make_ her. He never realised that the only person she
could ever belong to is you. But then if you don’t talk to her, maybe
she’ll never belong to anyone.”
She finished her impassioned speech with a glare at Giles who was still
looking completely confused. Willow then got up, having placed the ball
firmly in his court, and went to fill the kettle.
Having made two teas, she came back to find Giles staring into space.
“Giles?” still no reaction.
She placed his tea on the coffee table beside him, and resumed her seat in
the facing chair, simply watching him.
After what seemed like endless hours of silence, Giles finally snapped out
of it, reaching for his tea and sipping from it deep in thought.
“Giles?” Willow was beginning to get worried. Maybe she shouldn’t have
told him.
He set his mug back, and leaned back into his seat, replacing his glasses
and responding at last. “She loves me?” It came out as little more than a
whisper.
“God Giles, I thought you were meant to be smart. Yes, she loves you. Yes
she’s in love with you. Yes being without you is killing her, and yes the
reason she almost got herself killed was because she thought you’d left her
too.”
Willow figured she’d better shut up now. As much as she wanted the two to
sort things out, she didn’t want Giles to be with Buffy out of guilt and
fear.
Giles began mumbling something.
“Huh?”
“I said that explains the charged atmosphere after I rescued her, and...
last night... It explains a lot actually.”
“What does what explain? Giles, you’re making no sense at all”
“No... no, I don’t suppose I am. I really had best be off… there are a few
things that need to be said... I mean, sorted out.” He inhaled the rest of
his tea, intent on a speedy exit.
“Giles, you’re not going to reject her, are you?” Willow hesitantly asked,
afraid of the answer.
“Goodness, no. Why ever would you think that?”
“I don’t know, it’s just, you’re not exactly jumping up and down with joy at
my revelation, you know.”
Giles appeared slightly put out by her suggestion.
“Willow, I care very deeply for Buffy and I would never reject her, or
intentionally hurt her. As for ‘jumping up and down’: well, to say the very
least this has come as a bit of a shock, and I’m still processing all the
information you’ve just dropped on me.”
“Giles, do you love Buffy?”
“What?”
“I asked if you love her” Willow was getting impatient now and began
fidgeting in her seat.
“I... er... I care for her”
“Giles,” this time it was her voice that held the note of warning, “If you
don’t love her then stay away from her. Don’t offer her false hope. If you
can’t be together, together then it’s best all round if you leave her alone.
It’s not fair for her to be so near to you but not to have you. Don’t
hurt her.”
Giles had withdrawn into himself again as she spoke, and when he replied
Willow could hardly hear him.
“But not being with her hurts her as well... and it makes me feel empty
too.”
“Which brings me back to my last question: Do you love her?”
“I don’t know.” The miserable look on his face aged his features by about
ten years.
“Okay, let me put it this way: Do you ever fantasize about me?”
If it was possible, Giles looked even more shocked.
“For goodness’ sake, Willow. If I did, do you really think I could look you
in the eye now? I just don’t think of you that way at all. And what’s this
got to do with Buffy and I?”
“I’ll tell you in a minute. But first tell me, do you ever fantasize about
Tara?”
“Willow, why are you asking me such absurd questions?”
“I’ll take that as a no. What’s your wildest fantasy about Anya?”
“That she would let me manage my own store and not scare the customers away.
What is all this about? Get to the point.” Giles said wearily.
“What’s your wildest fantasy about Buffy?”
Giles swiftly stood, knocking his mug over in the process.
“That is an incredibly personal question, Willow, and also none of your
bloody business. If you don’t mind, I have somewhere I need to be.”
Glaring at her with his infamous Ripper glare, he moved to the door without
waiting for an answer. Willow just smiled sweetly at him and lifted her
hand in a small wave.
As he opened the door, Tara came in.
“Hi Mr Giles” she greeted in her usual shy fashion, the words accompanied by
a beautiful smile. Giles didn’t even notice. He just swept past her, out
into the throng of students intent on finding Buffy.
Tara looked at Willow with wide eyes as she shut the door behind her.
“Was it something I said?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giles stalked across the campus, fury coursing through him.
*Of course, how could I have been so stupid?*
It all added up, the looks she’d given him, the kisses she’d initiated, her
sudden desire to stop working with him. He paused mid-stride as a fresh
thought struck him.
She must have thought he’d rejected her - no wonder she couldn’t bear the
thought of working together any more.
*What have I done? After all she went through with Angel - did she really
love me all that time? - and then with Riley. And now she suffers my
stupid, stupid rejection. How could I be so blind? Oh Buffy, I’m so, so
sorry.*
He didn’t want to be responsible for her pain, yet he knew he was. He set
off again, this time less of a stalk, more of a semi-jog, thoughts whirling
through his brain. Pain was lancing his heart the more he thought of her
suffering. This is the way it had always been. If he had to watch Buffy
hurt, then he would hurt too. It was as if they were joined at the heart.
He contemplated that as he headed in the direction of her dorm room: the
pull he’d been increasingly feeling toward her, the pain of her absence.
All of a sudden everything clicked into place and he stumbled, tripping over
his own feet and landing in a heap.
*Oh dear Lord.*
He fumbled for his glasses, reaffixing them in place and he hurriedly
processed his realization. He was in love with Buffy. How could he have
missed it? He loved her with a passion that burned his entire being. He
returned again to his previous train of thought with disbelief.
*Oh dear Lord.*
Fury unexpectedly surged through him again, as he thought of how careless
he’d been in his words and actions.
*She must think I hate her.*
Abandoning all thought but assuring Buffy of his love, he climbed to his
feet and ran like the wind to get to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A harried pounding on her door awoke Buffy from her tear-induced sleep.
“Go away” she mumbled into her pillow.
But the knocking didn’t go away, instead it increased in volume and
intensity and she began to worry that her visitor would beat down the door.
“Hang on” she called out as she grabbed the corner of her sheet to clean off
her tear stained face.
The knocker refused to be silenced, and she could hear neighbouring students
start to yell: “Hey what is your deal, man?”
“Shut up! Some of us are trying to study!”
With a sigh she crossed the room and flung open the door, finding herself
face to face with a large manly fist, which almost knocked on her on the
forehead. The situation would have been funny had she not been so upset.
“What?” she demanded, fisting a hand on her hip as she raised her face to
meet her visitors’ eyes.
“Giles? What the hell do you want? If this is about that letter, then just
deal already. I don’t intend to talk about it.”
She began to close the door, when he stopped her. He spoke just her name,
but the note of desperation in his voice tore at her heart enough to make
her open the door again. This time she really looked at him.
He was leaning against the doorframe, catching his breath - he had obviously
been running. His hair was windblown so that it stuck out in every
direction and his glasses were so skewed they looked like they would fall
off any second. She watched as he absentmindedly reached up a hand to
straighten them.
“God, Giles what have you been doing? You look you’ve run a marathon.
Actually no, you look worse, like you’ve been dragged though a hedge
backwards.” *Yeah right buff, like he could ever look anything but
incredibly handsome and damn sexy*
“Buffy... Can I...” he cleared his throat “Can I come in?”
“Why? What do we have to talk about?” The pain in her voice was evident,
but her tone had softened considerably as she regarded him with open
curiosity.
“I think you’d rather we have this discussion in private” he muttered as
students passing in the corridor stared at them with undisguised interest.
“Fine.” The harsh tone was back, as she built a wall around her heart
again, reluctantly letting him into her room.
She sat on her bed, watching as he began pacing.
“So, you gonna talk to me? Or do I have to beat it out of you?”
Her attempt at humour was ignored as he sat down on the opposite bed seeming
to think for a moment before resuming pacing. She continued to watch,
wondering what on earth had possessed her usually calm Watcher.
*He wasn’t so calm when you hurt him yesterday at the Magic Box* a little
voice in the back of her head reminded her.
“Stop it!” she reprimanded out loud and Giles looked at her bewildered.
Then without any warning whatsoever, he fell to his knees before her,
wrapping his arms around her tiny frame.
*What the Hell?*
“Giles?” she questioned softly, but no answer came, so she simply held him
as he hugged her.
“Giles? Are you ok?” She asked again, keeping her voice gentle.
A small, stifled sound escaped him and she wondered for a brief moment what
it was before she heard it again and it struck her that Giles, her normally
together Watcher was sobbing into her embrace. She hugged him tighter as he
continued to cry, before pushing him away slightly so she could look into
his eyes.
“Giles? What’s wrong? Please tell me. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s
wrong.”
He couldn’t answer if he’d tried. All coherent thought flew from his head
as he found himself drowning in those familiar eyes, love radiating from
them, piercing his heart. Instead a fresh tear trickled down his cheek, and
then, “Oh, Buffy” he buried himself in her comforting embrace again. As he
knelt between her legs sobbing his heart out, she rested her chin on his
head in confusion.
“Shh, Giles, it’s okay.” Buffy tried to soothe wondering again what she was
reassuring him of.
“Giles, please don’t cry; we can work it out. We always have before.”
She started stroking his hair as she talked, trying to get it to all go in
the same direction again. She felt utterly helpless; the man who had always
been her rock, her foundation was falling apart in her arms.
As his sobs quieted, she had an idea, “Rupert - I mean, Giles, would you
like me to make you a cup of tea?”
He wanted to say yes, wanted to forget his pain and guilt in a strong tea,
but he knew she deserved far more than that. So he just drew back onto his
heels and gazed into her eyes, finding himself lost in them once again. He
finally found his voice enough to whisper to her.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy.”
*Sorry? Whatever is he sorry for? I thought he’d be mad at me.*
She pulled him back to her, holding him for long moments, letting the
silence wash over them therapeutically before she asked affectionately,
“What are you sorry for Giles?”
He remained silent, unable to hope that she would forgive his
thoughtlessness or believe that he loved her.
Okay, now she was totally baffled.
“Giles. Giles look at me. Giles, you’ve got to tell me what’s going on in
that smart brain of yours, cause I sure as hell can’t figure it out.” She
continued to talk in that soft, sympathetic voice, and he couldn’t help but
lift his head.
“Buffy...” it came out as a moan, and he again cleared his throat, trying to
collect himself.
“You know, I think I will have that tea, after all.” He conceded, attempting
to buy some extra thinking time. *How can I convince her of how I feel,
without sounding as if I’m only saying it to make her feel better?*
Buffy sighed and rose to switch on the electric kettle.
He smiled to himself as he sat on the floor, watching her. He decided there
and then that he could happily spend the rest of his life watching her
puttering around, and as he thought about it, he resolved not to waste any
more time.
“Buffy.”
“Yes, Giles?” She replied distractedly as she poured out the hot water.
“I love you.”
Crash. The kettle dropped onto the work surface, knocking the mugs to the
floor and spilling its contents everywhere.
Buffy whirled around, her heart hammering in her chest, as she clutched at
the worktop to keep her upright, ignoring the boiling water soaking into the
carpet at her feet.
“What did you say?”
He studied the myriad of emotions pass over her face: hope, fear, doubt,
hope again as she warred with herself, then disbelief. His voice was gentle
as he replied, “I said I love you.”
The strength in her legs gave out completely and she would have fallen onto
the stained carpet had he not caught her.
“Buffy.” His voice was worried as he carried her back to her bed and rested
her on it, kneeling once more beside her.
Her eyelids fluttered shut, and she took deep breaths, trying to regain
control of her body.
“Giles, just to be sure that I’m not going insane and hearing things, would
you mind saying that again, please?”
He gave a small smile.
“Buffy... I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through these last couple
of days. I never meant to hurt you. I can’t believe everything I’ve said.
How stupid I’ve been! And to say you were under a spell! I’m so, so sorry
for all the hurt that insult must have caused you...”
“Cut to the chase Giles, and just repeat what you said already” Buffy
interrupted, a smile growing on her face and her heart expanding with love.
“No Buffy,” Giles insisted as sternly as possible, despite the twinkle in
his eye, “You seem to have forgotten that when your Watcher speaks, you
should listen, not interrupt.”
She rolled onto her side and nodded her acceptance gesturing for him to
continue.
“Well, Buffy, it appears that if you are under a spell, then I am too.”
He grinned and his voice softened, “I’m under _your_ spell. Buffy, please
forgive me for being so blind. I’ve been in love with you since I’ve known
you, yet I’ve only just managed to realise it. Every time you touched me,
something responded deep inside me, but I could never explain it. It was
far easier to ignore than to explain anyway. Every time we’ve been apart,
I’ve felt like a part of my soul was missing. I just don’t understand how I
couldn’t have seen this. It’s like waking from a deep sleep. Buffy, you
are my reason for living, and I never appreciated that until now. I’ve hurt
you and let you down so many times. Please, please forgive me for not seeing
it sooner.”
Buffy couldn’t help but interrupt, “Giles, why are you telling me this?
Last night I left you a letter explaining that I didn’t want to see you
again... didn’t you get it?”
He pulled it out of his pocket. “Yes, I received it. And do you know what
I intend to do with it?”
Intrigued, she shook her head no. In reply, he tore it in two, then he
repeated the action with each half, and then for good measure, he ripped the
remaining portions into shreds.
Buffy’s eyes grew wide. “Giles,” she began in an awed voice, “What are you
doing?”
“I believe I’m proving my point that nothing will ever separate me from you
again, Buffy.”
“Oh.” For a moment she was speechless. *I don’t get it. Where has this
come from?*
She decided to voice her concern, “You seem awfully confident. I seem to
remember you looking at me in disgust when I kissed you last night. In fact
I’m sure you ran away from me in horror, if my memory serves me right. Why
would you want me all of a sudden? Why would I believe that you love me?”
Her voice had become hard and bitter.
He lowered his eyes and clasped her hand as he said quietly but assuredly,
“Because you love me too.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve spoken to Willow, haven’t you?”
His suddenly flushed face was confirmation. She wanted to get mad, but she
couldn’t. Suddenly it was all too funny. A small giggle escaped her.
Giles looked up in surprise. “Buffy, what...?”
She couldn’t answer him, the laughter bubbling out of her. Why was she
still wasting time? At last she had him within her reach yet she had still
pushed him away. She continued to laugh even more when she saw the baffled
look on Giles’ face. The ache and emptiness were leaving her body at last,
and happiness was overflowing her soul instead.
“Oh, Giles...” she breathed as she swung her legs over the side of the bed,
catching her breath.
She flung her arms around his neck, drawing him once again to her. Then she
corrected herself, “Rupert...”, the first verbal use of his name sending
shocks through her body. He felt them too, and instinctively pressed close
to her, whispering her name in reply.
As her lips descended toward his, she paused halfway and murmured, “I love
you so much, Rupert.”
“And I love you” his reply was quick in his haste to greet her lips, and
they met in a tender kiss that lasted minutes but felt like eternities.
A deep peace swept through their souls, and their lips met in another kiss.
Sparks began to fly, as the kisses brought their emotions to the surface and
they could see the love they held for each other in the others’ eyes.
At last they came up for air and Buffy pulled back slightly, “Rupert, you
have to know how sorry I am about the last couple of days. I’ve been so
selfish...”
“Shh.”
He placed a finger on her lips, “I’m just as sorry for being so harsh.
Let’s forget it and just kiss and make up now, shall we?”
“Mmm,” she smiled against his finger, “Sounds like a good idea to me.”
So they did just that.
END
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