Chapter 3
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Riley was waiting when Buffy reached her dorm room.

“Hey.” He let loose a huge smile when he saw her and bent down to kiss her. She kissed him but with
little emotion, her preoccupation was evident.

“Hi,” she replied.

“Is something wrong?” Riley asked.

“Uh...no. Everything’s hunky dory.” She tried for enthusiasm but failed.

“Buffy, I can see that’s not true. Can I do something?”

His concern was genuine, Buffy could tell, but she knew he’d never understand. He was already
confused by her relationship with Giles. He had asked a lot of questions after the Fyarl demon thing,
having only just met Giles the day before at her birthday party. She talked about the library being the
Scooby hangout but she never quite got around to the Watcher word. It seemed too personal. She
wasn’t ready to share that much with Riley. Giles was more than she could explain to him, or to
herself, it seemed.

“Riley, I know we planned to do something today but would you mind if we didn’t?” She looked up
tentatively.

“That’s okay, if you don’t feel like it. We can do something another time...are you feeling sick?”

“Uh, no. I just feel the need to see my mother.” ‘How lame is that?’ she thought, except it was
completely true.



* * * * *


“Mom! I’m home!” Buffy bellowed as she entered her house. While wandering in she inhaled deeply.
It smelled safe, like home.

“Buffy. I wasn’t expecting you...was I?” Joyce wondered if she’d forgotten something they had
planned.

“Nope, I just thought I’d be a goodly daughter and drop by.”

Buffy noticed her Mother didn’t react.

“Why...do you have something better to do? Gallery stuff...a man?” Buffy’s eyes grew wide.

Joyce chuckled. “The man just hightailed it out the back door, so I’m all yours, daughter dearest. Just
consider me a pleasantly surprised Mom. Shall I make hot chocolate?”

“Mmm, yeah...and you are just kidding about the man, aren’t you?” Buffy had been leery of her
Mother’s choice in men since the Ted experience, and the candy incident. She shuddered thinking about
it.

Joyce gave her patented ‘mom’ look and headed for the kitchen with Buffy tight on her heels.

“Speaking of men...” She trailed off, trying to find words.

Joyce’s heart gave a slight lurch at the mention. Buffy rarely talked to her about the boys in her life.

“Yes, dear, what about men?” She continued making the hot chocolate as nonchalantly as she could.

“Uh...well...you know, are they...?” she sighed before continuing, “I mean...do you understand ’em?
Cause I sure don’t anymore.” She looked as defeated as she felt, leaning against the counter.

“Oh. Did you ever?” Joyce asked with a smile.

“I thought I did, but right at this moment I don’t.”

“Problems with Riley?”

Buffy looked shocked at her mother. “How do you know about Riley?”

“I overheard you and Willow talking about him the other day.” She was quick to add, “I wasn’t
eavesdropping. You were right there, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s okay, Mom. No big. I guess I shoulda mentioned him to you.” She looked sheepish. “It’s not him.
Another guy.”

“Just how many boys are you dating, Buffy Summers?”

“Only Riley.” Upon seeing her Mother’s skeptical look she added, “Really!”

“So what’s the problem?”

“There’s this other guy, a friend. I’ve known him a long time, since we moved here. But he’s kind of
mad at me right now, and I don’t understand why. I mean, I did something nice for him today and he
took it all wrong, like it wasn’t nice but something else. Now he’s being all moody and stuff and I don’t
know how to get him to change his mind about being mad.”

“Hmm. Well, you know, Buffy, as much as I hate to admit this, guys aren’t really very different from
you or me. They get hurt feelings but they don’t like to admit it. They can also be very inscrutable,
much as women are often accused of being. You just have to talk to him.”

“I wanted to talk but he wouldn't. He told me to get lost, in so many words. And he has no reason to be
mad at me!”

“Apparently he thinks so. Maybe what you thought was a nice gesture didn’t come across that way to
him. Guys can be like that. You have to be careful of their egos. They don’t like to be told what to do.”
Joyce had a second thought on that comment and added, “Unless, of course, they want to be told what
to do. Just like they don’t like to be helped, except when they want to be helped. And they don’t like to
be…”

Okay, okay, I get it, already, Mom!”

“That description sounds a lot like you, doesn’t it?” Joyce flashed Buffy a knowing grin.

“If that’s the case, then I should be able to figure him out in a second...or maybe not. I guess I’m not
exactly miss self-knowledge, am I?”

“When you pay attention you are. And you can do the same thing with others. It just takes some
listening skills and patience.”

“But what if he won’t talk!”

“Then you have to make him talk. Don’t give up. Be gently persistent.”

Buffy threw her head back and groaned, “Oh Mom, why can’t life ever be easy?”

Joyce chuckled. “Here, drink your chocolate.”

“He’s changed, that’s the problem.” Buffy interjected emphatically, after taking a sip of her hot
chocolate. “I used to have him totally figured out. But now, since graduation, nothing’s the same.”

“How so?” Worry washed over Joyce as she remembered Buffy talking about Angel changing.

“I dunno...lots of stuff. He dresses different for one! Better actually, but still. And all of a sudden he’s
dating. Well, more than dating, really. Never did that much before.” Buffy glanced at her mother
remembering she had been one of those dates, sort of. “I don’t see him as much as I used to. And
earlier this year he practically ignored me...told me to go figure out my problems by myself. He used to
always listen to me and help. In fact, he wanted to hear my problems. And, well...there’s more, I just
can’t think of it now.” Buffy’s frustration level hadn’t diminished.

“He sounds like a good friend,” Joyce mused. “It’s not easy to find people to listen to you whenever
you want and spend a lot of time with you, especially as you get older. Maybe he’s expanding his
horizons since school’s let out. Just as you are, with college and all...and I wonder, Buffy, am I hearing
just a hint of jealousy from you, with the dating women thing?” She added.

Buffy looked away and scuffed her feet while thinking what to say. “Maybe. I don’t know...It’s just
that he’s always been mine and now...”

“I see, now you don’t like having to share him.” Joyce saw the light. “Maybe you should re-examine
your feelings for him.”

“What?!”

“Don’t look so shocked. Relationships change...evolve over time. It’s completely natural.”

“It is?”

“Honey, of course. Do you think things stay the same forever?”

“Well, no I guess not, but...?” Buffy looked at her mother. “I have been sort of wondering about him
lately. Something happened a few weeks ago that made me see him differently, and I’ve been going
over it in my mind. But, I mean, I’m dating Riley. How can I suddenly be interested in another guy?”

“It happens. Especially if Riley is a nice, safe boy who might be more of a transitional
relationship...after Angel.” Joyce looked hesitantly at her daughter.

Buffy grimaced. “Maybe,” she said quietly.

“Besides, you’re young, much too young to feel you have to find the ‘right’ guy. You have loads of
time. Explore. Experiment. Date...safely, of course,” Joyce admonished at the last minute and then
continued. “Have fun with your friends. Don’t let yourself get tied to Riley. The right guy can turn up
where you least expect it and he can be who you least expect. It could even be someone who’s been a
friend for a long time.”

“So Mom, what you’re telling me is: stop whining, never assume, and never give up?”

“Precisely.” Joyce laughed and gave Buffy a hug. “You always were a perceptive child.”

Buffy hugged her Mom in return. “Thanks, Mom.”

Joyce pulled back and looked questioningly at her daughter. “Uh, just out of curiosity, Buffy, are we, by
any chance, talking about Xander?”

Buffy chuckled and grinned at her mother. “No, Mom. It’s not Xander.”

After a leisurely dinner with her Mother, she headed back to the dorm feeling much better. Energized
and ready to make Giles talk...tomorrow. Right now she had to study and then patrol, and it occurred to
her that a good night’s sleep might put him in a better mood, or so she hoped.


* * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 4
** The following afternoon. **

As Buffy approached Giles’ front door her courage wavered. What would she say to him? What if he
was still mad? ‘Oh great,’ she thought as a wave of panic swept over her, ‘a pissed off Watcher. Been
there, done that.’

Standing on the step she took a quick once over of her outfit: dusty blue spaghetti strap top, royal blue
skirt, short, and her current favorite sandals. She replaced a stray stand of hair and took a deep
breath.

Raising her arm to knock she was jolted by loud noises emanating from inside. Sounds of things hitting
the wall or floor...and Giles cursing.

It sounded as if Giles was fighting someone or something. Intending to save him, she burst through the
door and froze, frantically sweeping the room with her eyes looking for Giles and danger. There was
no sign of either, and the room was ominously quiet. Until she heard an ‘umphf’, and Giles’ head
suddenly appeared over the kitchen counter, looking rumpled, dirty and a tad wet.

She screamed and jumped while gulping for air. “Giles! Give me a heart attack, why dontcha.”

His gaze was intense. Missing were the tolerance and warmth she had hoped for. “What are you
talking about? You’re the one who burst into my house.”

“I heard loud noises, swearing and things bouncing off the walls. I thought…but I guess not. That was
just you...by yourself?” She craned her neck to see why he was apparently kneeling on the kitchen
floor.

Without even bothering to answer her, Giles disappeared again and more noise ensued.

She wandered warily into the kitchen to see what he was up to. A smile stole across her face when she
saw his lower half sticking out from the cabinet under the sink. He was on his back and, based on the
noises he was making, including the odd curse, working on something under there.

“Uh…plumbing problems?”

When he didn’t answer, she peeked her head under to see for herself.

“Giles?”

“Christ!” He jumped and banged his head. “I thought you’d gone.”

“I just got here, why would I leave?”

“I don’t know. Places to go, people to see?” The sarcasm in his voice reverberated under the cabinet.

Buffy tripped over a pipe on the floor as she stood up and took note of the scattered tools, the faucet
laying on the counter and the general disarray.

“Why don’t you just call a plumber?”

“Because they charge exorbitant prices, and I’m quite capable of doing this myself.”

“Oh…can I help?” Her voice lacked any confidence that she could actually help, but she was willing to
try.

There was a pause before he responded.

“If you like,” he said, with a glibness that contrasted his earlier tone. “Hand me the spanner on the
counter.”

Buffy shifted her feet until she was squarely facing the counter, taking inventory of the various tools
and sundries in view, hoping that she would recognize a spanner once she saw it. It wasn’t working.

Giles lay under the counter grinning to himself. It was cruel, he knew, but he couldn’t help himself.
After taking a minute to enjoy the mental image of her trying to figure out what a spanner was, he
started to crawl out to help her but stopped cold at his first glance toward the open space.

Her bare legs.

She was standing right there. Shapely, toned, and tanned, on display in front of him. Wearing a very
short skirt too. He moved his head to get a better look at her foot attire. Open toed sandals, pink polish
on her toenails. He fought an almost overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her leg with his hand.
Instead, he, oh so innocently, moved his leg slightly to one side until it rested against hers and waited to
see how she would respond or if she’d even notice.

Up above, Buffy was suddenly hyperaware that Giles’ leg was touching hers. That, combined with the
spanner search, had her completely at a loss.

He waited for a moment, and, when she didn’t react, his impatience with her took over, and he stuck his
hand out from the cabinet motioning for the tool he requested earlier. “Come on, you said you wanted to
help. Spanner!”

“Uh…can you maybe give me a clue?” She asked meekly, embarrassed by her ineptness.

Sounds of exasperation rose up from under the sink as he quickly appeared, grabbed the tool from the
counter and disappeared again without a word or a look to her.

“A wrench?!” she shouted. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Spanner.” He insisted flatly from below.

“Well, maybe in some foreign country, but in America it’s a wrench,” she mumbled.

After a few additional, appropriately industrious sounds, Giles reemerged from his cave-like habitat
under the sink. As he went through the process of turning on the faucet, admiring the free flow of
water and ducking under the sink checking for leaks (none were found), Buffy took note of his
appearance. The faded blue jeans, well worn. A dark blue T-shirt, hugging his body where it was damp
in spots. She wasn’t sure if the damp was from sweat or water leaks, possibly both, she concluded. His
hair was tousled and there was a red scrap on his left hand, which looked like it must hurt. Both his
clothes and hands were patched with dirt and some goo she didn’t recognize.

Observing all this, it didn’t seem fair to her that he looked good in such a state. He even had a smear of
grease on his face. Just as she resisted an instinct to reach up and wipe it off, he surprised her with a
typically guy move. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up to wipe his face, baring his chest
for a moment. She gulped at the sight and felt her pulse quicken. He had hair on his chest. She had
suspected as much because she thought she’d seen bits peeking over the top of his shirt once or twice,
but the full picture was mesmerizing. She tried not to stare at his chest once the shirt was back in
place.

For his part, Giles continued ignoring her.

She could tell he was grumpy, but hoped, maybe, it was because of the plumbing problems and not
yesterday. ‘Okay,’ she thought, ‘I’ll try charm first.’

“Nice work, Giles. I’ll know who to call if I ever have plumbing problems,” she said cheerfully.

He shot her a caustic look and began gathering up the tools.

She backed out into the hallway to give him leeway. Apparently he could resist her charm. Buffy had
sworn not to give up, but this cold shoulder treatment wasn’t the resistance she expected. “Uh, so if
you’re done, I thought maybe we could—“

“Buffy, I’m in no mood.” She shrank a little at the cold tone of his voice, but regrouped quickly. She
could see he was unrepentant. Yesterday was not forgotten.

She tried for sincerity and honesty this time, but it came out more earnest than she had intended. “I
know you’re mad at me, but I think we should talk about it.”

“Now is not the time. Go home.”

“Giles, I can’t leave like this.”

He dropped the tools into the toolbox and spun around to face her. “For bloody Christ’s sake, Buffy,
why can’t you ever do as I say? Try it, just this once, you might like it.”

She felt like a yo-yo. Shrinking every time he spoke, only to gather her courage again and stand up to
him.

“Why are you acting like this?”

Giles removed his glasses, placed them on the counter top and massaged the bridge of his nose in an
attempt to calm himself before confronting her. When he did look at her, his head was tilted slightly, and
he had a condescending look in his eye. “Like what?”

“Well...like this...immature.”

He held her gaze and slowly took a few steps toward her, forcing her to back up. “Maybe I don’t feel
like being mature.”

“Come on Giles, you’re supposed to be the mature one here. Remember, you’re the brains, I’m the
brawn.”

“I wouldn’t push me on that today.” His glare was steady and fierce.

“Ok…then, I’ll have to be the mature one.” The words came hesitantly.

Giles leaned against the kitchen doorframe as he folded his arms across his chest and a sardonic smile
slowly spread across his face. “Fine.”

“Okay, I’ll try, but I didn’t get much sleep last night, what with studying, patrolling, and—”

Giles interrupted her before she told him something he felt certain he couldn’t handle today. “Buffy, I
know this may surprise you, but I don’t care.”

She narrowed her eyes, studying him. “Have you been drinking?”

Anger flashed through him as he stood upright. “No, damn it. And I resent you’re even asking me
that.”

Buffy held her ground well. “It’s not an unreasonable question. You’ve been drinking a lot this year. It
got you in big trouble already. Ethan. Remember?”

His glare became icy.

“Giles, I can’t lose you.” Buffy’s memory of the recent Ethan incident still haunted her.

Exasperation replaced his anger. “Buffy, I don’t understand this irrational fear you have of losing
something you clearly don’t want.”

Giles, that’s not...”

“I’m here. I’ve been here. Where have you been? “

“But you told me to handle stuff myself.”

“Don’t throw that back at me. We talked about it. I apologized, and I thought we came to an
understanding. Why do you have to obsess about it?”

“I guess ‘cause…it was just such a shock...and there was...Olivia.”

“I see.” Remaining in the kitchen doorway, he reached his hand up over his head to brace himself
against the frame and leaned slightly toward her. “So…you expect to know every last detail of my
life?”

She didn’t know if he was trying to physically intimidate her, but intentional or not, it was effective. His
inherent vitality and virility were evident, and she wondered why she hadn’t noticed this about him
before. Possibly because she had been afraid to see it, she thought.

“You know every last detail of my life.” She fought off a pout.

“Far from it,” he scoffed and, after a moment, added, “Olivia’s not coming back so you can let go of
that one.”

“Oh...” She tried to read his face before she continued. “I’m sorry.”

He shifted his weight and crossed his arms again. “Don’t pretend you’re sorry.”

“I am.” Truthfully, her remorse was more for the pain it likely caused him that the actual absence of
Olivia, but she felt it best not to explain that to him just now.

“Buffy, the reality is that you and I are at a crossroads.”

Concern registered on her face. “I don’t think I want to be at a crossroads,” she replied softly.

“Neither do I, to be honest...but we are.”

Buffy paused before speaking again. “I’m sorry I freaked that day, but you hadn’t given me any
warning, and I never expected to find you here with a woman.” She saw him tense at that statement.
“It’s not that I never thought you would be with a woman...it’s just that...I...uh...” she tried to find a
way out of the hole she’d dug for herself. “I just never thought about it at all. And...and I don’t think
she was right for you, anyway,” she finished softly, speaking the truth that was in her heart.

Giles considered her comments for a moment, then a grim smirk crossed his face as he thought he
understood her. “I see. You can have relationships, but I can’t. That way I’ll always be here when you
need me, like a bloody lap dog, whether it’s everyday or once a month. My time belongs exclusively to
you.”

She was speechless and stood, in shock, with her face pulled into an intense frown as she listened to
him.

“You on the other hand have no reciprocal obligations.” He paused to study her expression before
continuing.

“But with Olivia around, you thought you were losing your hold on me so you threw me a bone thinking
to keep me happy...the birthday tattoo. ” He looked accusingly at her. “That’s emotional manipulation
and that’s why I’m angry.”

“Giles, that’s ridiculous. That’s not what I was trying to do.” Her mind was reeling. “I know I forgot to
tell you some things this year, but that was just because I’ve been busy with school and ...” she stopped
abruptly, not wanting to bring up the obvious.

“And Riley.” He finished for her.

“Yes, but…but there was other stuff, before.”

“Uh huh.” He moved a step closer to her and spoke quietly, although the accusing tone remained in his
voice. “Speaking of which, why didn’t I know about Parker?”

Buffy’s face flushed with embarrassment. She looked at her feet and sighed. “Because you’d think I
was an idiot...which I was. Some guy sweet-talks me for a couple days and I fall for it, hook, line and
sinker. He got what he wanted from me and then ignored me, dumped me. When I tried to call him on
it, he turned it around and tried to convince me I had a problem, that I was naïve or something. I felt
horrible and...and stupid. It was humiliating.” She finished quietly.

“Not pleasant being used, is it?”

She looked up at him, horrified, everything suddenly falling into place. ‘Is that what he thinks I did to
him? Used him with no thought for his feelings.’

“Giles,” she pleaded “...I ...you...that’s not....”

“Not now, Buffy.“ His jaw was set hard, and his eyes were steel cold as he shook his head. “ Just go.”

“I’m not leaving, Giles.” The words came out, but the confidence was missing from her voice.

Sensing his advantage, he took another step toward her. Towering over her he looked down and
ordered her, “Get out.”

Buffy held her ground, trembling, her eyes locked on his, not sure what he might do next, but firm in her
decision not to leave.

A tense stand off ensued before, finally, Giles took a breath and stepped back. It had lasted only a few
seconds but felt much longer to both of them. Buffy closed her eyes and began to breathe again. Giles
turned back into the kitchen and began throwing things around in a futile attempt at cleaning up his
repair area. He paused for a second and looked at his hands noticing, as if for the first time, the dirt and
grease. He looked down at his shirt also. Abruptly he tossed the old faucet into the sink and turned
toward Buffy again.

He spoke as he retrieved his glasses from the counter. “Fine. Do as you please, but I don’t have
anything more to say.” After which he turned down the hall. Buffy watched him disappear into the
bathroom and flinched as his shoes came flying out, one at a time, bouncing hard off the wall before
they hit the floor. The door slammed shut, and another minute later she heard the shower water
running.

She walked into the living room, shaking slightly, and moved around the room trying to find a release for
her own frustration. Slowly the emotion turned to hurt and even remorse. Maybe he was right, she
thought. No, he just misunderstood her intentions. She had to explain, had to make him listen.

She tried to formulate a plan but her mind kept returning to his display of anger. He had only been angry
with her once before. Truly angry, that is. But, even then, he held it in check. Any physical displays of
anger she had witnessed from him were reserved for someone or something trying to hurt her. She
knew how ferociously protective he could be when provoked. It frightened her at times because he
would do foolish things, not thinking about the consequences for himself. As she reflected on it, a
memory flashed through her mind, of her mother explaining to her, as a young girl, the meaning of the
phrase ‘still waters run deep.’ She realized it fit Giles well.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Giles emerged from the bathroom. It was evident he had
showered and even shaved. ‘Why would he shave twice in one day?’ she wondered. He was wearing
a bathrobe. Not the one she had seen before. This one was a dark green terry cloth. It looked plush and
comfy. She watched him. He ignored her completely, not looking at her or acknowledging her presence
as he went up the stairs. Buffy followed with her eyes as far as she could.

She sighed. He was right, she knew. They were at a crossroads. Both were adapting to all the changes
in their lives in that last year of high school. The return and eventual departure of Angel, their
disassociation from the Council, the treachery of both an errant Watcher and Slayer, the end of high
school, both figuratively and literally, his job loss--two jobs, in fact, and her starting college, along with
so many other things. Giles tried to adapt with Olivia and Buffy with Riley. Neither solution worked.

Her feelings were intense and mixed up. She wasn’t good at articulating them to herself let alone to
another person, but she knew she had to try with Giles. There was a gnawing feeling in her gut that if
they couldn’t fix this, she might lose him for good. She decided to move forward; it seemed there was
nothing left to lose.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

:: Part Three ::
 

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