Title: Filling the Void - A New Perspective
By TrinityLast
E-mail: trinitylast@wambtac.com
Disclaimer: *reaches up to check for horns* Nope. I'm still not Joss. Not mine.
Distribution: Hey, at this point, if you want it, take it. Just let me know, ok?
Rating: PG-13 just for safety's sake
Spoilers: Ehm...not really anything at all, actually.
Feedback: Yeah. But if you're gonna flame me, aim to my left, ok? The window's all drafty.
Pairings: B/A, B/G. Yes, both. No character bashing for either one. Sorry.

NOTE: Ok. I thought this would be stand alone, but I've already written the sequel. So...so much for that theory. :p


[Where am I?]

Giles tried to turn his head, but it wasn't cooperating.

And then it turned itself.

[Dorm room…that's…interesting. Why on earth…]

And then his thoughts cut out. There, staring back at him in the mirror, was Buffy.

{WHY is my hair all flat again?!}

[BUFFY?] He tried to focus his thoughts at her, but she couldn't hear him. He, on the other hand, could hear HER.

{Dammit, it always does this…} She pulled at the top of her hair again and sighed. {I don't have the energy today.} Soon the hair was up in a scrunchy.

Giles did his very best to ignore the sights through her eyes as she got dressed. [Bloody hell…]

He did see her blink at a note on her door. [What's that?]

"What the…" Buffy looked both ways outside in the hall, but no one was there. Shrugging, she took down the note and read it.

[That's my writing. What in heaven's name…] the thought was cut off in mid sentence as he read through her eyes.

'Buffy -
I can't take this anymore. It's time for you to stand on your own two feet, and clearly with me around, this is not possible. So I've left for England. I don't know if I'll be back…but I feel it's better this way.
~ Giles'

[Oh, dear god, no.]

{GILES?! God…no…please…}

[No, Buffy, please don't cry…Buffy…] Nothing. She heard nothing, but collapsed to the floor there in the doorway, her thoughts too chaotic for him to follow…but if there had EVER been a question that she loved, needed and appreciated him, he wished to any god who was listening he'd never had those doubts…her anguish now was unbearable.

{Wait…} Giles stopped at the same moment she did, both of them silencing, though she unaware of any but her own. {What the HELL is THIS?} A silvery substance was on her thumb.

[Magicks. But silver? Who uses a silver-based catalyst for something like this? It's almost as if…] He stopped. [Ethan. Bloody bastard!]

{Silver…something. Why would a letter have…magick. Right? It has to be. Ok, Buffy, go with that. Who knows some magick? Willow…nope. If Giles is under some spell, I don't want him back with two heads or something…}

[Thank you, love.]

{OK, who else? Willy. Scratch that. Not even worth a thought.}

Giles frowned, or would have if he'd been able to. There was something dancing at the edge of her mind, but she was refusing to look at it. He reached out to see if he could nudge it into view…

{NO!}

Giles jumped, so to speak…the reaction to THAT was violent to say the least. What on earth was it? He nudged it again, as it seemed relevant.

{OK…} her inner voice seemed to be a whisper. {Giles…Giles would…he'd have to forgive me. I…it's all we've got.} He felt her let out a slow breath, but now HE was nervous.

[Perhaps that wasn't the best idea…I wonder what…]

He was stopped immediately by what he saw through her eyes.

The address, in her book, for Angel Investigations.

[Since when does Angel know magicks?]

And then it occurred to him.

[She didn't even let herself think his name.]

**
Giles was terrified, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He DID now understand why Buffy never passed a driving test.

[Dear lord, Buffy...that's a car! A CAR! You can't run OVER a CAR!] He sighed in relief, for the fifteenth time so far, as she narrowly missed doing just that.

[My god, love…I love you, but you are definitely not in line for driver of the year.]

He hadn't even had anything in her thoughts to focus on to distract him…her mind was white noise, moving so fast and so erratically he couldn't follow it. The road and what she was doing barely entered into it…which added to his apprehension. Mostly she seemed to be trying out several thousand theories as to what could have happened to him, most of them too quickly dismissed be barely noticed them as they flew by.

[I always knew she was intelligent.] It had never occurred to him she was genius level, and thus BORED in school…and why would she bother with it at all if she was going to die before she hit thirty?

Giles was hard pressed to answer that question, even to himself.

Suddenly, her torrential thoughts stopped, and gave way to just one… {Angel.}

At that exact moment, Giles felt something he'd never experienced before. It took him off guard, and if he'd been in charge of breathing for this body, he'd have stopped.

[Her scar. Could he have bonded to her? He must be hurt…my god, this is unbearable…she can feel the bastard's pain…] The knowledge wiped his mind of any fantasies of beating Angel to death quickly. Not if it would do this to his Slayer.

Never would he hurt her, no matter how indirectly. Never again.

However, now, the pain was overwhelming. It gripped Buffy's breastbone and wouldn't let go. It overrode all other thoughts…and as they got farther into the city, it got stronger and stronger.

Standing outside the Hyperion, Giles would have been in tears.

{OK.} Giles felt her take a deep breath…and the pain eased a bit, but not much…it was definitely a physical, not emotional pain…but it wasn't easing as an injury eased.

It wasn't the pain of a bonded mate being killed. It was too consistent.

[What on earth is it?] He had an uncontrollable urge to rub his breastbone, but it wasn't his body.

{Alright} he heard her think again, and the body took another deep breath, then headed into the building.

Giles jumped again. Angel was standing there, waiting for them. [I don't remember her calling him.] She didn't seem surprised to see him waiting, though. Her mind was blank…he heard nothing from her at all, in fact, for a moment.

{You felt me too. I shouldn't have come.}

"I always feel you coming."

Giles almost jumped at Angel's voice. He'd never heard it through Buffy's ears…he'd certainly never heard that tone directed at him. And he'd NEVER seen this expression on the Vampire's face.

He'd always though Angel saw Buffy as some kind of redemption. [That's not redemption he sees. It's heaven.]

He felt, through her, the pain still…he'd lost it for a minute, one lovely minute, when all his focus had been on shock at Angel's manner with his Slayer…but suddenly he realized it was easing in the Vampire's presence.

The instant they sat down however, it doubled what it had been at it's worst.

[My GOD!]

Angel felt it too, he could see, now. The vampire's hands were shaking. Both were holding themselves so stiff Giles swore he could feel Buffy's spine fusing. They were carefully sitting out of reach of each other.

"I got this letter from Giles…but I don't think it's from him. At least…I hope it's not." Giles heard her, and felt her give a nervous, self conscious laugh…through the pain, she managed it anyway.

He couldn't believe how constant this pain was.

"Here." Angel reached for the letter, and through Buffy's eyes, Giles saw them carefully NOT touch...and felt the pain increase again.

The words suddenly popped into his mind.

[Soul mates.] He seemed to freeze. [That's what the pain is. They're soul mates. They're being denied the other half of themselves.] He felt for Buffy and did everything he could to hold her hand. Something, anything to convey to her his overwhelming pain at hers. [What we must have put you through…shouting when you kissed him, hid him…I had no idea, my darling…how do you do this? The pain…] He swallowed, or tried to. [If I felt this pain in your presence, my dear, my hand would never leave yours.]

It was just too much. He couldn't focus past it on what they were saying. He didn't understand how they could get past it to speak. It was taking all of him not to cry, for fear it would cause HER body to cry.

"I'll go look. I think I've seen this signature before."

Giles watched him stand through Buffy's eyes, his confusion again over Angel's seemingly sudden knowledge of magic distracting him for a split second from the pain that seemed to currently encompass his world…

And then he screamed.

No one heard him.

Buffy swallowed and closed her eyes, but Giles could do nothing.

Angel had touched her.

Somehow, Giles knew that's what happened, but it was nothing that could be recognized as a touch. Shocks ran down her arm, amazing, orgasmic shocks, staring at her shoulder where Angel's fingers barely brushed her as he walked past. A warmth filled her entire body…and a safe feeling settled over her shoulders, to the point Giles felt as if his greatest protector was standing behind him, watching his back.

And then it was gone, yanked away suddenly, as if the floor had been pulled from under him and Hell was opening up at his feet

He jerked, screamed, and sobbed, but it didn't translate to Buffy's body. She was shaking, but her reflexes were used to it. He realized this as he calmed himself, and felt that blissful heaven being pulled away.

She was used to it. She had to be…her reflexive actions were much too much so, to the point of being automatic. She pressed for a second at her breastbone as the pain came back, renewed in it's power, and swallowed several times to avoid the tears, but after a moment, she was alright…

[Or as alright as she ever is. My beautiful, sweet Buffy…I'm so sorry…I'm so very sorry.]

There was no time to think anything else. As Angel left the room, Giles felt a dizzying sensation overpower everything else, and then fell.

**

[NOW what?] He looked around through the eyes he had now. [Definitely not Buffy's.] Too tall. He'd become accustomed to her just-below-everything perspective...now his eyes were almost level with his own normal view.

The pain was as ever present as it had been in Buffy's body.

(OK...silver residue...)

He knew that voice, as well, but it wouldn't quite place.

The next one he heard, however...

)Go back in there and kill her!(

Giles tried to swallow. [Angelus.] There was no mistaking it.

And then the voice that must have been Angel's answered...calm, steady, and powerful. (Angelus, shut up.) No threats, nothing. Just a simple command.

Angelus shut up.

[Good lord.] He had no time for other thoughts however, as Angel's were running a mile a minute...his entire focus was on the spelled letter.

(OK. Silver residue is Mora demon or Siberian witch or Chaos worshipper...) he stopped, and Giles felt a growl growing in his chest. (Ethan.)

Angel started moving around his office, gathering things, and his thoughts took off, moving too quickly for Giles to catch...the undertone, however, was clear. Angel's entire being was focused on helping Buffy. No other problem currently existed as far as he was concerned.

Finally, the thoughts slowed down again, and Angel sat down. (Now, just a bit of chamomile..)

[Of course! Chamomile! Why on earth didn't *I* think of that?!] The watcher watched as Angel expertly [...why didn't I know how good he is with magicks?] applied the liquid to the paper, and slowly, an underlying spell appeared in Greek:

Έτσι θα δει το μέγιστο φόβο της εμφανίζεται επάνω σε αυτήν την σελίδα και το τελευταίο savior της θα πάνε

Giles blinked, or would have, then sighed and started to translate it slowly in his head, but Angel was faster.

(So she shall see her greatest fear appear upon this page and her last savior shall be gone. Lovely.)

[Bugger, that was fast.] Then he stopped. [Her...greatest fear. My leaving was...oh, my dear..]

He heard Angel sigh, then start working on a counter spell.

[How is he thinking through all this pain?!] As it was still overwhelming. There was one small difference, however, from this perspective...there seemed to be an underlying...something. Something Giles couldn't QUITE put his finger on. Something that, while it didn't hurt, seemed to make what DID about ten times worse.

And for some reason, the pain seemed to be moving about. It took Giles a minute to realize Angel was feeling Buffy pacing about in the next room.

(There. This ought to work. All she has to do is say the spell, and she'll have Giles back.)

Giles blanched. An unnatural wave of physical guilt accompanied his name, even thought, and traveled the entire length of Angel's body before dissipating, and it almost didn't entirely.

That was it. The not-quite-definable thing. It was the curse. [It makes everything ten times as worse.]

And then, Giles heard laughter...laughter, the sound of which was burned into his memory.

Angelus was enjoying Angel's pain.

[Dear lord...] Giles would have cried if he could. [They meant to punish the demon...and instead doomed the soul.]

Angel got up and headed back out, going straight to where Buffy now stood.

[At least I know now how he does that.]

"Here." He felt Angel hold out both the paper with the counter spell, and the original letter. "This should do it."

"Thank you." Her voice was barely a whisper, and Giles swallowed, seeing her stretch up to kiss Angel's cheek.

The kiss was so light, he wouldn't have even known she'd actually touched the vampire's cheek if not for the blast they both felt.

Euphoria, blessedness...so different from what she'd felt, and yet so much like it. And with one more quality that Giles almost couldn't bear....an underlying, absolute certainty that his place was at Buffy's side...a desperate need to protect her, to hold her, to keep her safe and make sure nothing ever hurt her. A need so deep, Giles was sure he'd crumble with the weight of it.

And under the implications. [His entire purpose on this earth is to protect her.] It was in every fiber of Angel's being. In every single movement, in every single sensation.

He'd never be able to. He'd never be able to hold her again, to lay with her and protect her. This need, this desperate urging, would go unanswered for the rest of his undead existence.

Giles wanted to scream...to curse the gods, to kill, to make someone pay. Pay for doing this to this man, this, as Giles realized now, innocent man...for giving Angel this amazing, blessed duty, and then tearing it from him. For creating for his Slayer the means to outlive all of her predecessors, to die of old age, not exhaustion, and then making it impossible for her to get to the man who could give that to her. For all the things Giles himself said to hurt Angel, to hurt Buffy, to keep these two people apart during the tiny place in time when they were able to be together.

And then the unbearable terror of bliss being pulled away yanked Giles from his fury....and was immediately followed by another long fall into darkness.

**

[Not again...] Giles felt like he'd had four concussions in one day.

Glancing out, he now knew he was back in Buffy's head. She was saying something to Angel, and folding the two pieces of paper up to put in her pocket. [It must be the letter...I'm trapped in the head of whoever has possession of it.] He focused on what the two of them were saying.

"So I just say this, and it's all over?"

Angel nodded, his voice VERY soft. "Should be."

"Do you know what the spell did?"

Angel laughed, just barely, and Giles made a soft sound that only he could hear...for the second Angel smiled, the pain eased a fraction, then came back.

"No...you'll have to ask Giles that."

She chuckled a bit. "I'll do that." Then they both sobered. "So...thank you. Again."

"You're welcome." Giles knew that without Buffy's Slayer hearing, he wouldn't have heard the words at all.

She nodded, and then turned, leaving...neither saying goodbye, or mentioning if they'd see each other again. Neither able to do so, Giles realized...the pain alone of her thought sentiment sent him reeling badly enough as it was.

{Goodbye. Again.}

Giles closed his eyes, feeling through her body the weight of Angel's eyes on her back, and gasped as the pain got stronger and stronger with each step she took...and then snapped, with a feeling like that of a heart shattered into thousands of pieces, leaving only an empty void where the pressure had been.

A void he'd thought was his own when he awoke, so long ago, in Buffy's body...a void he'd thought was covered by her pain, but that was his, trying to tell him that he was missing his body, that something wasn't right.

It hadn't occurred to him that it was replaced by the pain.

[It's a constant. She's never rid of it. It's either the pain, or nothing at all.]

He shuddered, feeling almost physical pain himself at the idea of what his Slayer suffered from...then sighed as she got back into the car, bracing himself for the drive back...but it never came.

**
"What the hell?!" Giles sat up.

Then he turned his head. First one way. Then the other. Then he stood. Went to the mirror. His mirror. His room. His apartment.

[She must have said the spell when she got into the car.]

He blinked. [She'll break every speeding law known to man to get back here to see if it worked.] He shuddered at the idea, and vowed to teach her how to drive safely, or at least to attempt to.

Then he looked back at himself in the mirror. There was the scar over his eye, left by Angelus. But none of the pain he'd always felt when he saw it was there. Knowing the truth had sucked every scrap of bitterness right out of him.

[So now what, old man?] he sighed. [Well, I wasn't a fool...I couldn't have known. No one should know these things, actually...I know things I shouldn't. Things that no one would, if they weren't in another person's head. So what do I do?] He blinked this time. [Honesty. Honesty is the key here, Ripper.]

Just...possibly, not about THAT.

**

"GILES?!" She stormed into the apartment, the door banging behind her, and ran up the stairs to his loft bedroom. "GILES??"

He was nearly knocked onto the bed by the force of her hug. His arms went around her automatically, even as she seemed to attempt to squeeze the very life right out of him.

"I'm alright, Buffy."

"Btwhehppnd?"

The Watcher laughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

She sighed and lifted her head, looking up at him, and then blinked, realizing where they were, and stood. "I said, but what happened?"

He sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. I seemed to be...gone." He smiled. "But I'm back now, and I assume it's thanks to you." He stood and kissed her cheek. [Not entirely a lie, at any rate.]

Buffy smiled, then whispered "Not entirely. I had...help."

Giles sighed, then sat on the side of his bed. His voice was quite and calm. "I'm sure whatever you did, you did for me. And for whatever it was, I want to thank you."

She just stared, then smiled, grateful. {He knows I mean I went to see Angel. He knows, and he forgives me.}

Then she blinked as Giles tugged at her hand.

"Sit for a moment?"

"Sure." She sat down next to him on the bed and swallowed.

[Alright...you're not going to be able to say it. You're going to have to just DO it.]

Buffy gasped very softly as Giles bent and kissed her...slowly, thoroughly and lovingly. After a moment her eyes closed.

He broke the kiss when he felt her need to breathe interfere, and moved his mouth to her ear. "I know I can't replace any of what you've lost...but I had time to think today, when I was wherever it was that I WAS...I'd like the chance to try and fill some of the voids in you." He bit at her ear. "And to fill YOU."

She swallowed, her eyes closed tightly, and for a moment he braced, waiting for her to hit him, feeling her tense...it was a moment before he realized she was crying. "Buffy?" He turned her head and wiped a tear away. "Love, what is it?"

Her voice was barely a whisper. "I love you."

He smiled and lowered his head, letting his mouth cover hers.

**

{Wow.} Buffy blinked at herself in the mirror. {I thought only vamps left bite marks.} She turned her head to the side and swallowed, running a hand over the dark mark. {Way too dark for makeup. I'll have to wear a turtleneck to cover this thing up.}

Except, she wasn't entirely certain she wanted to cover it at all.

What she WANTED to do was sing, shout, scream to the world that she'd found love again. Impossibly, against all odds, but real love.

{Maybe not the same, but that's ok, isn't it?} She sighed at her reflection, then smiled, hearing Giles moving around downstairs, making breakfast.

"LOVE! Do you want toast?"

She turned to shout through the door. "YES!"

{Toast. What a wonderful word. Toe-st.}

She looked back at herself in the mirror and giggled. She felt like she was on cloud nine...even the empty spot in her chest was warm.

Sighing, she touched that spot...a spot she was so used to associating with pain.

She knew she'd have to walk away from Angel again. There was no way she'd be able to avoid him forever...if for no other reason than the fact that the pain from constant separation would destroy her after too long.

{But maybe...next time. I won't be walking from pain to emptiness.}

Maybe, next time, she'd be walking from pain...to home.





Title: Filling the Void - A Second Chance
By TrinityLast
E-mail: trinitylast@wambtac.com
Disclaimer: *reaches up to check for horns* Nope. I'm still not Joss. Not mine.
Distribution: Hey, at this point, if you want it, take it. Just let me know, ok?
Rating: NC-17.
Spoilers: Ehm...not really anything at all, actually.
Feedback: Again, please aim flames to the left of me. This window is seriously drafty.
Pairings: B/A, B/G, as before. Sorry.

WARNING!! B/G/A sex...but not bi sex. You'll understand if you read it. Also, slight voyeurism, but just a bit until he joins them on the bed.

Not gonna tell you which one watches. ;p You'll have to see for yourself.


**

[God, but she's beautiful.] Giles reached over and smoothed the hair out of Buffy's face, the peaceful smile on her face bringing one to his. Months later, and he still reveled in his fortune to be in her heart, in her bed, and to have her in HIS bed, in his life, in his heart.

She shifted in her sleep, beautiful, precious.

He smiled, watching her for another minute, then went back to his research.

[There has to be an answer in ONE of these damned books!]

He was looking for a way to anchor a soul.

He'd been looking for months. After feeling the pain, from both sides, he couldn't justify his happiness. He couldn't reconcile himself to his slayer and her soul mate feeling that kind of horrible pain while he lived in such bliss as he did now. There had to be a way for them to be together. Fate would not have done this to them. He would not accept that such powerful forces for good were doomed to live like this.

He would not accept this.

Turning another page, he brought his tea to his lips, but never took a sip.

There it was.

It had been in front of them the entire time.

**

"What...what are you saying?" Buffy's eyes shone with tears, but she refused to let them fall. Again, Giles wondered at the strength of his love.

"Angel's soul is anchored. It has been since he fed off you. The two of you are joined. While you have a soul, he cannot lose his."

"But...but he did! Cordy and Wesley...they said...some actress..."

"It was artificial...his belief that he COULD lose his soul was so strong that when he felt the drug take effect, he temporarily lost control of the demon. It isn't actually possible for it to be permanent. He cannot be forced from his body."

"My god..." Now the tears fell. Slowly at first, and then in great racking sobs that shook her entire body. Giles gathered her close and closed his eyes, rocking her and shushing her as she cried.

"What do we do now? I can't lose you...I can't."

"No, my dear...you can't."

"But..."

"No. We'll find a way. All of us."

She didn't understand. She hadn't for months...ever since that day, that day she'd thought he was gone. He'd been different. Not to her. He was the same as he'd always been, if not more. Loving. Comforting. Perfect. He'd been everything she needed, all the time. She had no idea what she could ever do that could equal what he'd been giving her all this time. And now this?

She knew that something...whatever it was that had happened to him had changed his feelings towards Angel. He'd never once looked at her in that pained way when his name came up. She never saw that night haunt him again. Jenny did...Jenny always would, she knew. But he seemed to have let go of his blame for her. Like a curtain had been raised, and he knew it wasn't HER Angel that had done that. Something had separated, forever, in his eyes, the Demon from the Man.

But this? This was more than she'd ever thought...more than had ever occurred to her to hope for.

"Giles...I don't understand..."

"I know, my love." He kissed her head gently, lovingly, then rested his mouth in her hair.

"We have to go to Los Angeles."

She just nodded.

**

Angel was waiting for her again. Giles recognized the look he gave her now. He saw the flow of love between them, almost as if it were a physical being dancing between their bodies like electricity.

Angel was predictably shocked...and more than a little lost. He sat, silent, for a very long time, staring at nothing, as if the realization that all the pain was for nothing...that he could have stayed...that he could have had her.

He knew, from the instant the two people in front of him walked through the door to his hotel, that he'd lost her to Giles.

It was amazing, really. No one else knew. Willow, Xander, Joyce...none of them saw it. They thought Buffy and Giles were training harder than ever...Willow thought they had finally just talked it all out. Xander was sure Giles had almost died. No one had been told what happened that day, not really. Bits of the story came out, but never even as much as Buffy knew, which wasn't much of it at all. She was spending more time with Giles...spending the night. He knew her intimate habits. All that could be chalked up to training, patrolling, the increased threat on the Hellmouth, the appearance of the soldiers on campus. Riley had tried to date Buffy a few times, but she'd rebuffed him because of her Slaying, they all were sure. She was spending so much time trying to save everyone...she had none left.

She was still fun...more so. It was as if her now healed rift with Giles had brought her back to life. She wasn't ready, she said, when they asked about Riley. He wasn't right. There was no spark.

That was enough for them.

Angel, however, had known. The instant they came in, he knew. Giles saw it in his eyes as they came through the door...the vampire knew that he'd taken Buffy away.

He'd lost her.

And now this. This...gift of knowledge. It was more pain than anything else. He'd lost her, and he hadn't had to.

However, what Giles said next shocked him back to life.

"We need to talk about how we are all going to handle this."

"What?" Angel looked at the Watcher incredulously. The ancient had noticed the change in Giles' manner towards him. Gone was the hostility, the anger, the pain. Giles looked at him as he had before Buffy's birthday, before any of this had happened. As a friend. As a trusted peer. And with something else. Respect. And sympathy. And pain...pain on HIS behalf. Pain that Angel was SURE was unjustified coming from this man he had hurt so many, many times.

"Buffy is your soul mate. You know this. She knows this. And I will not pretend that I did before, but something happened a few months ago that opened my eyes. And she needs you, just as desperately as I know you need her. But she also needs me, and I her...and I need you." He met the vampire's eyes. "I need you, Angel, because I need to know you're there for her...to know that when she's in danger of her life, you're there. That you'll protect her when I cannot."

"What are you saying?"

Buffy looked as confused as he did, but he knew she wouldn't ask.

"I'm saying...the three of us need to discuss this. Openly." His tact was almost painful.

"Giles..." Angel swallowed. "Giles, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"What is he saying?!" Both men smiled at the indignant tone of their love...she hated being the only one in the dark.

"I'm saying...that I think we should both have her. And that she should have us both."

**

"Are you sure?" Having come this far, Giles was suddenly worried about Buffy. "I don't want to hurt you."

She smiled, though they had been for hours, the tears were just behind her eyes. "You can't, remember?"

His smile was soft, gentle, and he bent his head to kiss her, then moved off the bed. "You two should be alone for a few minutes." He didn't leave the room however...just moved to the corner where he was out of the way.

Angel slowly moved towards Buffy...the pain in his chest, the ever-present pain of not having her, was so strong he couldn't have breathed if he'd needed to...but somehow, the idea that he was about to be rid of it forever was almost more frightening than the pain itself. The pain he was used to.

The light she shone with...he almost felt in danger of being burned.

Slowly, he took her hand, and both of them closed their eyes, tears of relief falling from both sets of eyes.

Clothes were slowly shed...Angel wanted to control every single second, and so left nothing to chance...each piece of her clothing was carefully set aside, each button gently undone, each shoe carefully removed, until she was in front of him, bare, nude, breathtaking. She removed his clothes just as carefully and then they just stood there, together, not touching, so close he could feel her warmth against his skin. The very knowledge that they would not have to separate was holding the bliss in place...neither wanted to move away, but neither did they want to chance a break in this perfect moment, and so for a moment, they just stood there, not touching, not moving away.

Finally, Angel reached up and brushed a piece of hair from her face, and smiled into her eyes. The first kiss was electric...as if time had been turned back, as if it was her birthday again, and everything was new and clean and perfect. They moved to the bed, his hands smoothing down her back, hers tracing the sculpted lines of his stomach, and he laid her down, covering her, protecting her.

"I love you."

Giles, from his seat in the corner, could not tell who had said it or if they both had.

Angel's mouth slowly moved from hers, though he seemed incredibly reluctant to do so...but then latched onto her throat, lingered for a moment on her collar bone before moving to her shoulder and after what seemed like eternity to Buffy, completely lost in the sensation now, moved down, slowly, between her breasts...and slowly, very quietly, a low rumbling sound coming from his chest that caused Giles to stare.

The vampire was purring.

Buffy's hands smoothed over Angel's arms and shoulders as he bit, nibbled and licked, giving each breast due attention, and a bit more, before slowly moving down her body, his hands gently spreading her legs

His whisper pierced the still air in the room. "Giles, is she still as sweet as I remember?" The longing in his voice was almost hypnotic.

"Yes." Giles was caught by how husky his voice sounded, even to himself. "Like honey straight from the comb."

The purring suddenly filled the room.

Buffy's hands found Angel's head now, fingers threading into his hair, as his tongue found her heat, and a loud gasp that Giles knew quite well, but had never heard quite at that tone, came from her throat as her mate's skilled tongue found her clit.

He looked up at her, and watched through hooded eyes, his tongue flicking tiny little licks at her button. Tiny little hisses of pleasure came from her throat each time, the sound pushing both men to almost pain with need for her, and her head dropped back, blonde tresses covering the pillow, back arching, throat exposed.

His eyes filled, but the tears didn't fall. "Ta gra agam ort, mo chroí, mo anamchara..."

Buffy's moan was so soft, if either man had not been listening for it, they'd have missed it, but all attention in the room was on her, and for a moment, Giles wondered if she's understood the sentiment, but then realized that it was the simple sound of Angel's native tongue and the brogue in his voice that accompanied it, that caused her pleasure.

After another moment or so, Angel growled softly, eliciting another, louder moan from his lover, and pulled her clit into his mouth, his strong tongue working around it for a moment before snaking out of his mouth and into her, slowly, rhythmically fucking her, until Giles was sitting at the edge of his chair, almost afraid she'd be in pain soon.

But only an instant later, the slayer's scream pierced the air, her entire body arching and flexing, legs curling around Angel's shoulders, holding him there, hips writhing against his mouth.

Angel slowly worked her down, gently, lovingly, until she was calm again, then lifted his head and licked his lips slowly before moving up her.

"Ta gra agam ort. Ta gra agam ort, mo chroí. Ta gra agam ort, mo anamchara. Ta gra agam ort." He said it again, then kissed her deeply, slowly, and VERY slowly slid into her, inch by inch, holding still now and then to allow her to adjust to his size.

As their hips met, Buffy's hands tightened on his arms. "Don't move. Please..." She kissed him again, and they stayed there for a moment, relishing the connection, the joining, until Angel had to move for fear of the entire evening ending that moment.

He kept himself lifted slightly so not to crush her, and slowly moved, his back working, his hips driving against her in long, slow, steady strokes. There was not a spot on her shoulder he did not kiss, not an inch on her body his hands did not worship, driving her to the edge almost torturously slowly and holding here there for a moment before his hand slipped between them to drive her over.

As she calmed again, Angel stayed, not moving, and watched her. After a moment she opened her eyes and lifted her head, kissing him gently. It was then that the vampire turned his head again to look at her other lover.

They met eyes, and Giles slowly stood as Angel smiled a bit, looking back at Buffy. Her eyes stayed glued to Giles now, watching his hardened, war scarred body come into view, every scar a testament to his devotion and his protection of her, every line an oath of loyalty and of love...each one she loved individually, a part of this man she'd come to depend on and need just to wake up sane each morning.

Giles came over to the bed slowly, then quirked a small smile at Angel. "I do believe you stole my favorite part."

Angel actually chuckled, kissing Buffy lightly before answering. "You'll get it next time."

The two on the bed shifted, Angel rolling them so he was under her, and Giles slipped behind her, kissing her shoulder as he gently bent her forward, the KY discreetly applied.

The moment he entered her, all three were lost, and for the second time in his life, Giles felt an overwhelming sense of bliss...but this time, he realized, it was his.

He was as much a part of this soul as they were.

They began to shift, the men slowly moving counterpoint to each other, hands and mouths on Buffy, who was no longer aware of anything except sensation and feeling...if asked for form a coherent word, she couldn't have. Her entire body was on fire, and with each movement it built, until finally, the shouts from the room filled the entire building, echoing from the rafters as the trio collapsed on the bed.

**

"I don't like it."

"No one cares."

Xander sighed as he moved another box into the mansion. "OK. But if I don't like it, and I don't approve, and I, in fact, hate the entire situation, and might I add, ew...a serious ew that does not do it justice, because it's completely beyond my ability to EXPRESS such an ew sufficiently...why do I have to help move Deadboy IN?"

Willow sighed at him. "Because it's day. Because Buffy has class. Because Giles is off hunting a demon. And because I said we would."

He just made a face at her and went back out to the car.

"Besides, what's so ew about it?"

He whirled around. "Are you KIDDING? Buffy with Angel, I can get used to again. It's...it will never go under my list of things of the good, but I can get used to it. And I get that Buffy and Giles have apparently been together for a while now. I'm not thrilled with THAT mind you, but it at least makes sense, and I know Giles isn't gonna hurt her. But all THREE of them? I mean, how does that even WORK?"

Willow giggled. "And yet, you have no problems thinking about you and two girls."

Xander grinned. "Well, no, that's just..." He blinked. "Wait, are you saying it's like that? Buffy in the middle, and them...oh, ew!!"

Willow just sighed and shoved a box at him. "MEN!"



END
***************

Translations:
"Ta gra agam ort" - I love you
"mo chroí" - My love
"mo anamchara" - My soulmate




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