Another Dawn

by Sanguine

 

Genre: Drama

Rating: PG-13 for language, violence and general angst

Disclaimer: Usual

Summary: A post-"The Gift" fic

Part 1


Spike watched her dance. She was so young, so succulent. Yeah. She'd make a nice trophy, a pretty corpse. Unconsciously his tongue touched his top lip. Just wait. Wait 'til Saturday.

Spike watched her slay. Vampire dust filled the air. So powerful. Mmmm. This was going to be fun. He brought his hands together, applauding her performance.

"Nice work, love."
"Who are you?"
"You'll find out on Saturday."
"What happens on Saturday?"
"I kill you."

Spike never kept his promises.

Spike watched her die. Well, not exactly. He was there though. And he killed her. But it wasn't a Saturday.

Buffy's lips pressed to Spike's. His body ached. His heart ached. He felt like a guilty boy. Guilt. Interesting emotion, that. "And my robot?"

"The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene... What you did for me and Dawn… that was real. I won't forget it."

Spike watched her leave. He did nothing. Absolutely bloody nothing. She was gone and he did nothing.

Spike woke up and felt the burning of his leg, a leg he'd purposely placed so the sun would hit it. Better than a fucking alarm clock. Another dawn. But no Buffy.

***

Spike took a swig of whiskey. Whiskey was his drink of choice now, even more than blood. Drinking blood made him remember what he was. Drinking whiskey made him forget. He felt the substance burn its way down his esophagus and wished it were real fire. He'd been consumed once. Buffy had done that. Now there was just an empty shell. A shell he wished he could burn and leave as ashes. But he was too much of a wanker. Spike took another swig of whiskey and watched the second hand on the new watch he'd bought. He'd never thought about time before. Now he wanted to watch every passing second of the eternity that was his miserable life. It gave him a masochistic pleasure to consider the second hand, dragging itself along. He wanted to feel every second of pain. He wanted to live every second of his failure.

"I'm counting on you, Spike. To protect her."

"'Til the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight."

***

Spike roused himself from his drunken stupor. Time to go kill stuff. Had he been able to look in a mirror he would have seen his face, gaunt and pale from lack of blood. He was starving himself. His hair, which he had meticulously bleached every two weeks, was a shaggy blonde-brown mess. He no longer had his duster. He had buried that with Buffy. He didn't want it anymore.

Spike emerged from his crypt and silently prayed to whatever deity he knew didn't exist that he wouldn't see one of the Scoobies. After their last meeting, Spike hoped they'd gotten the message. He didn't want to have anything to do with them. He didn't want anything to do with anything. He just wanted to kill.

And he soon got his wish. A vampire emerged from the earth below him, grabbing his ankle. Crunch. Spike's boot connected with its head. Spike stood back and waited for the vamp to recover. The creature rushed him. Spike's fist connected with his jaw. He felt it break beneath his knuckles. The monster went down. Spike kicked it. And kicked it again. And again. And again. The vampire's head finally detached itself from its body and flew across the cemetery until it hit a gravestone with a wet thud. The vampire turned to dust. Spike was satisfied. Time for a drink.

***


Spike entered the Bronze. Humans everywhere. He could hear their blood rushing through their veins. It sang to him. He was so hungry and yet the thought of drinking from any one of them was nauseating.

"Guinness, mate."

"Spike you're not gonna cause any trouble in here tonight. If you do, we're gonna ban you."

Spike took a sip of his drink and smiled wryly. "I'll be good. I'm always good."

Ten drinks later Spike was in the alleyway behind the Bronze. This was the alley where he'd seen Buffy fight. Twack. The frat boy's fist connected with his jaw.

"What did you say about my girlfriend?"

Spike licked the blood from his lip and smiled. "I said she was a whore. She offered to shag me you know."

"Liar." Frat boy slammed his meaty fist into Spike's eye socket. Spike felt his eye swelling already. Another black eye... Frat boy's fist connected again, splitting his lip. And again, bruising his cheek.

Spike rushed him, fists flying. As the chip activated, the pain was searing. Just what he wanted.

Spike lay in the alleyway, bleeding and unconscious. Just what he wanted.

***

"Spike?"

"Spike?"

A hand touched his shoulder. "Spike, wake up."

"Buffy?" he murmured. "Luv?"

Willow's eyes filled with tears. "No Spike. It's me and Dawn."

"Go away." His eyes shut in his swollen and deformed face.

"No."

He raised himself up from the stone floor and looked Willow in the eye menacingly. "You don't want to be here."

"Spike, you have to..."

Spike pushed Willow away, causing her to fall in a misshapen heap. He clutched his head as the blinding pain punished him.

Willow's eyes turned dark. "That's enough you selfish bastard." Her spell sent Spike slamming into the wall of his crypt.

"Willow, no!" Dawn went to Spike's side. "Don't you see? That's what he wants." Gently she grasped his hand. "Spike. Buffy told us to take care of each other."

Spike could feel the sob well up in the back of his throat. "Buffy also made me promise to protect you. Look what a brilliant job I did of that."

Dawn smiled as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "Well you're kind of sucking at it right now. I haven't seen you for weeks. How can you protect me when you're not even around?"

"Nibblet, I…"

Willow interrupted. "Spike, listen. What happened was horrible. But remember what guilt did to Buffy? She believed she'd killed Dawnie and she went all coma-girl on us. We need you."

Spike's shoulders slumped. The silence stretched on for many moments. When he finally responded, his voice was a whisper. "Buffy made me feel like a man, but we all know what I really am."

"What is that Spike?" Willow asked.

Spike heard her pulse increase as she waited for his answer, saw the life rushing through the artery in her neck. "A monster."

"Oh God." Dawn pulled Spike into her arms. "No Spike. It's not true."

Spike completely dissolved into tears. "Yes... yes it bloody well is." He looked at Willow. "I was the one who introduced Dawn to Doc. And then he showed up and I couldn't stop him. It's all my fault."

Willow sighed. "Dawn told me about your little resurrection adventure. You might have been misguided, but you were only trying to help."

"But that's the problem Will. I don't have anything to guide me anymore. Buffy showed me what was right and even when she was around I bollocksed it up. She was my bleeding soul. Now she's gone..."

Dawn squeezed Spike's hand excitedly. "But Spike, that's why we've come to see you. We think we've figured out a way to bring her back, and we can't do it without you."

"Huh?"


End of Part One

 

 

Part Two

 

"My God, Spike. What happened to you?" Giles considered the vampire's mangled face with a mixture of concern and suspicion.

"Rupert. Didn't know you were back." Spike sat down heavily, his head still ringing from his recent beating and the residual effects of the Guinness. "Kiss the Librarian" the mug of pig's blood in front of him proclaimed. He felt sick.

"I returned from England yesterday." Giles removed his glasses and wiped them absentmindedly with the corner of his shirt. "I... I had to be here."

Spike nodded and looked around the table at the Scoobies. Xander's lost weight. Wonder if he and Anya are married yet? The Wiccans are still in love by the looks of it. And Nibblet. She looks bad. Dark circles 'round her eyes. Little one like that needs more sleep. Probably not eating proper either. Wonder if she's still staying with Xander and his ex-demon? Willow must've cast a spell on the Child and Family Services folk to pull that one off.

"Earth to Spike." Xander's voice cut through his thoughts. "We kinda need you with us deadboy."

Spike glared at Xander, too exhausted and hungover to think of a witty reply. "So how do we bring back Buffy? Will and Dawn were kind of sketchy on the details. They just told me we had to bring her back and they'd found a way." Spike shot a threatening look at Willow. "Look Wicca girl, I don't want zombie Buffy. I want *my* Buffy back."

Willow shook her head. "Spike. First I have to point out that she's not *your* Buffy. And of course she won't be a zombie. None of us want that."

Spike shuffled his feet. "'Kay. I was just checking. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Just listen, don't talk."

"Listening…"

"No new Slayer has been called." Willow looked at Spike to see his reaction, but his bruised face was an unreadable mask. She took a big breath and continued. "See, Buffy died once before. Another Slayer was called then, and when she was killed Faith was called. Now Faith is in jail and until she dies the world is effectively Slayerless. The word's gotten out and the past few months... well the Hellmouth has really become demon party central."

"And I care about this why?"

Tears began streaming from Dawn's eyes. "Because they're after me Spike. Apparently my blood still has amazing and wacky properties. It's always me. Maybe I should just let them have me and then it would be over."

Panic flitted across Spike's face. "No. No way. I've lost one of you. You're not dying Dawn. We're gonna fix this."

Dawn exploded. "Oh yeah, you're the great protector of me. I haven't even seen you for months and..."

"Enough." Giles's voice reverberated through the shop. "You two, sort this out later. Willow, continue."

Chastened, Dawn and Spike sank back in their seats.

"In an obscure passage of the Codex, I found something about resurrecting the Slayer. It's never been attempted, but this could have been written with you and Buffy in mind:

'And she shall sacrifice herself to save the world. And a key shall appear to unlock the door. And the soulless demon shall drink the blood and find the passage to death through the water. With his quest, balance shall be restored.'"

Spike's hand shook as he took a sip from his mug. "So it's all about the blood is it?"

Dawn dried her tears. "It's all about my blood."

Spike pushed the mug away. "I won't do it."

***

"C'mon Nibblet, wait up."

"No."

Dawn ran. She just wanted to get away from him. With every word he betrayed her. He didn't care. He didn't want to help her. Finally her raged erupted. She turned and faced the vampire limping towards her. "Look, you fucking pest. I know you loved Buffy and wanted to shag her brains out, but you don't love me. You've made that really clear these past few months. I was hoping that you'd help with this and then we could both be happy and have Buffy back. But maybe you don't even care about her? You don't care about anything but you."

Spike stopped. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry."

Dawn stared.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you after Buffy died. I didn't think you'd want to see me, considering that I didn't save you and I got her killed. I broke my promise and she died. I couldn't protect you then and I can't protect you now."

Dawn sighed. "We've gone over this Spike. It's not your fault. You tried."

"Trying isn't good enough Nibblet. Trying gets people hurt and killed."

"But you can fix your mistake now Spike. You can have your precious Buffy back."

"That may be so, but I'm not gonna hurt you to do it."

"That's the price Spike."

"Then it's too high. 'Sides, that prophecy seemed bloody ambiguous to me."

"The prophecy doesn't say anything about killing me. It just says you have to drink my blood. You don't have to take it all. Besides, you can't drink it directly from me anyway, 'cause of your chip."

"Yes I can."

Dawn's eyes grew wide. "You can?"

Spike nodded. "Chip works on intent, Dawn. I think if you want me to bite you and I'm not doing it to hurt you then..."

"Great. So we've found a short cut."

"Don't think so. What would Buffy say if we did bring her back, and she found out I'd been chomping on her little sis? Rather have your blood in a mug thanks."

"OK, whatever. You drink the blood, then you take a swim in the Master's old paddling pool."

"Is that the bit about the water?"

Dawn nodded.

"What if I fail?"

"You won't fail Spike. You have to come back to me. I still have to show you the earrings I swiped from Anya."

Spike ruffled Dawn's hair affectionately. "You're a quick study, kid."

 

End of Part Two

Continue to Part 3

 

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