A Song in My Heart

by Julbie9

 

Genre: Drama

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Angel or Buffy. And I also don't own any songs. Especially not by The Beatles. I think Michael Jackson does, though.

Summary:  Spike sings at a certain bar in LA...

Notes:  Sometime during Season 6. Hopefully ‘post-chip’.

 

"No."

"Spike." Buffy’s eyes darkened. It was all she could do not to punch him in the face. "DO IT!"

"No! I told you. I can’t."

"I swear to GOD, you are SO STUBBORN!"

"Why can’t you bloody do it?" Spike had his arms folded across his chest tightly as he glowered at the floor. "I don’t want to!"

"Because it has to be you, you idiot! Just stop being such a baby. You have to be the one to do it or it won’t work!"

"I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to, and you can’t bully me into it, Xena!"

"I am not playing around with you anymore. I will stake your limey ass!" Buffy growled.

"Okay, that’s it. Switzerland has arrived to organize peace," said a charming green demon standing nearby. "Sheesh. The two of you."

"Yeah, we kind of have this love/hate relationship. I love her even though I hate her and she hates me even though she… hates me." Spike said to The Host as he scowled at Buffy.

"Oh, shut up." Buffy didn’t meet either demon’s eyes. She just clicked her tongue and crossed her arms, looking away.

"She hates you. Yeah, I can see that," The Host said with a tinge of sarcasm. "Okay, cheekbones, here’s how it goes down. You came in here because the oracle said to look inside yourself to find your purpose. I can do that for you, but not until you let loose with the pipes. You know what I’m saying? It doesn’t have to be La Bohème or anything. Although, I wouldn’t object if you have that in your repertoire...

"I don’t know any songs," Spike hissed in embarrassment.

"Oh come on, a hundred and twenty-what? Seven? And you don’t know the words to one song? This friend of mine, his kid can belt out the entire soundtrack to the Broadway production of Annie. She’s five. So don’t tell me you don’t know any songs. Sing something…" The Host paused and looked Spike over, "…British."

Something flickered behind Spike’s eyes.

"There, you see." The Host smiled as Buffy looked on with some curiosity. "I knew it, there’s a song in there just dying to come out."

"I’m not going up on stage."

"Not necessary. Just lay it on me, Handsome."

Spike squirmed in his chair, clearly mortified at what he was about to do. He didn’t meet Buffy’s eyes, but she knew Spike was talking to her when he said: "You. Turn around. And don’t listen!"

Buffy thought about denying him his request and making him sweat it, but for some reason she took mercy on him and, with an eye-roll and a sigh, turned around. "I’m averting my eyes, Oh Spike."

With her back to Spike and The Host, Buffy scanned the demon-heavy crowd of the Karaoke bar and had no desire to slay anyone. They all seemed perfectly harmless. Los Angeles was Mayberry compared to Sunnydale, and these monsters were just out having some good clean fun. She thought of how funny it was that Angel would suggest such a place to her. Just the thought of Angel patronizing a place like this at all was perplexing enough, but Cordelia had told her that he actually had to sing once. Buffy cringed at the thought and thanked the PTB that she didn’t have to be there to witness that fiasco. Unfortunately, she had to be here to witness, or at least hear Spike’s pathetic warbling. She was just about to revel in all the choice insult ammunition she would get out of this one incident when she heard Spike clear his throat and begin to sing. He sang quickly, wanting to get the whole ordeal over with, but his voice was very pleasant and perfectly on key. Dammit!

Spike sang:

Her majesty’s a really nice girl but she hasn’t got a lot to say,

Her majesty’s a really nice girl but she changes from day to day,

hey, hey,hey,

I wanna tell her that I love her a lot,

But I’ve got a - got a belly full of wine

Her majesty’s a really nice girl. Some day I’m gonna make her mine.

Someday I’m gonna make her mine.

He trailed off at the last line, sounding a little sad and Buffy was disappointed that it was over so quickly. She chalked the disappointment up to the fact that Spike didn’t have to suffer as much as she would have liked and actually wasn’t as horrible as she hoped he’d be.

"Well, well," said The Host with a smile. "We’ve got a natural talent on our hands."

Spike grinned in spite of himself, then realized what he was doing and bit his bottom lip, resuming his close scrutiny of the floor. "I’m not singing any more, so I hope you got what you wanted."

"Listen, honey. With the exception of a nicely shaped Bordac Demon to keep me warm at night, I have everything I want. You on the other hand…" The Host flicked his eyes to Buffy for a moment and then back to Spike, "…are still waiting."

Uncomfortable silence, then Buffy asked: "What did you see?"

The Host put an arm around Buffy. "Oh, come on, Sweetness, you don’t have to be a prognosticating demon to know your boy here is growing a soul. The oracle was probably just trying to push things along a little. They’re so impatient."

The Host was met with a blank stare from Buffy, so he continued.

"You’ve probably known all along, you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself, neither of you did. I mean, for crying out loud, look into his eyes."

The Host and Buffy both looked at Spike who was gaping up at them, looking completely stunned and vulnerable.

"Oh, those eyes! Stop it, you’re killing me." This was from The Host. Buffy said nothing.

Spike didn’t think he could have gotten more embarrassed. He was wrong.

The Host shook Buffy a little with his arm around her. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty, and take a look at your prince. He’s got a shiny new soul. Because of you. His purpose is to help you. It’s all about you, babe. Just go with it."

This is too much for Spike. He’s reduced to stuttering. "I’m w-what? I’m… growing a soul? I – I have a soul? I don’t understand."

"Yeah. Crazy, isn’t it? I mean. It’s not unheard of. It’s happened before, but, as I’m sure you know, it’s super rare."

Buffy snapped out of the trance she’d been under for the last few seconds and said: "Wait. How did… how is he… how?"

"Well, here’s where I’m afraid I’m gonna lose you. See, there have been a few cases before where a vampire has become infatuated or fallen in love with a Slayer. You have some experience there. Don’t ya, Sweetie? But see, you’re OTHER gorgeous vampire crush already had a soul. Kind of an unnatural one, one that was out of place in him, but that he learned to accept and it made him who he is. But that’s an entirely different thing.

The point is, when a vampire without a soul loves a slayer - and I’m talkin’ pure love, the stuff they make movies about, unconditional love, without malice or motive, - that kind of love…"

Spike now had his head in his hands. He had already figured out where The Host was going with this and did not want him to continue. At least not in front of Buffy. "We get it!"

The Host ignored him as if he didn’t hear him at all. "I’m saying this is the kind of love that makes a vampire, who is strong enough, suppress his demon and willingly fight for the good alongside the slayer that he loves. In the extremely rare occasion that this happens, the powers that be, the fates, whatever you want to call them, they step in and fit the poor sap with a soul."

Buffy stared at Spike who refused to look up. She was actually panting from the overload of information her brain was taking in. Memories flashed in her mind. Snippets of things: Spike helping her defeat Angelus, Spike telling her where to find Willow and Xander after kidnapping but not really hurting them, Spike helping along with the Scoobies in fighting numerous demons and vampires. Spike lifting a beam off of her from the Bronze after the troll had knocked it on her. She had barely even noticed that act of good, let alone acknowledged it. How many other things hadn’t she noticed? He’d been helping her for a very long time, and until recently, she had offered him nothing but her contempt. How could she be so ungrateful? Did that mean that Spike loved her purely? Was it true? Why? And, more importantly, did he really have a soul? "Is it permanent?" This last question, she asked out loud, but in a tiny voice. She tried to whisper it, but her voice cracked. Spike’s head snapped up, startled at first by her saying anything at all, then by what she asked and how she asked it.

The Host turned to Spike and raised his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah…" The Host was talking to Buffy, but grinning like an idiot at Spike who didn’t appreciate being the source of such glee. "I mean… if your talking about what happened between you and Angel, don’t worry. It’s not a curse. You can do whatever comes natur--"

"No!" Buffy yelled a little too loudly. "No, I didn’t mean… I don’t. Mean that. I just meant will the soul be with him forever even if he… even if the vampire stops loving the Slayer?"

Buffy’s cheeks were burning red and, if Spike were human and could blush, he would have needed to go to the emergency room.

"Well, the point is that the vampire won’t stop loving the Slayer. That’s really the hot topic here. See, he wouldn’t have gotten the soul if this was just your run of the mill crush. I mean, you’re cute and all, Sugar, but you’re not exactly forthcoming with the warm fuzzies. So, for him to be this in love with you…" The Host finally noticed Spike squirming in agony and decided to show mercy. "Just trust me, the soul is here to stay."

The Host looked from Buffy to Spike and back again. The tension was thick enough to charge the air and make it almost difficult to breathe. The Host felt the need to add something, but spoke quickly.

"And I’m just gonna say this once to get it out there on the table: A love like this is not traditionally unrequited. So you may need to examine what’s in your own heart, Missy Thing. I’d be happy to give you a reading if you’re interested. We have over six thousand songs available. I’m guessing you could take a Pat Benatar tune and really give it hell. Just let me know, I’ll be at the bar… I need a drink."

The Host patted Spike reassuringly on the shoulder as he walked past him, saying: "Hang in there, Handsome."

It took all of Spike’s strength to stand and look into Buffy’s eyes, but he had to know what she was thinking. What he found there was not what he expected. She was crying. Spike forgot all of his own discomfort and went to Buffy to soothe her. In a soft, sweet voice he said: "Hey, what’s this all about?"

He gently pulled her hands down from her tear-streaked face and she looked up into his eyes. "I’m sorry," she sniffed. "I’m a little… overwhelmed."

Laughing softy, Spike said: "Well, yeah."

Buffy took a deep breath and shuddered. "I think I knew. I mean, I didn’t know, but… I knew that I could trust you. I knew you would never hurt me or my friends or Dawn even after you got the chip out. But I didn’t want to question why I knew that. I was such a… God, I’m so sorry."

"No." Spike was serious. Stern. "Don’t apologize to me. Don’t do that. I’ve done some bloody awful things to you and yours since arriving in Sunnyhell and there’s no reason for you to say you’re sorry to me. I’m the one who should be saying sorry." There was a long pause and then, softly, Spike said: "I’m sorry."

They were both quiet for a while and Spike took a moment to look back at The Host who was stirring his Gin and Tonic at the bar. He turned back to Buffy and with childlike innocence, he asked: "I have a soul?"

Buffy smiled at this. "Yeah, I know. You’re probably pissed, right? You and Angel are two peas in a pod now. Exactly alike in every way."

"Except you loved him."

This startled Buffy. She looked up at Spike and was instantly lost in his eyes.

"Oh, right." Buffy managed to sound playful. "And I don’t love you."

"Right." Spike picked up on the playfulness and took a deliberate step closer to her. "You hate me."

"Yeah," she answered, breathily.

"But… I’m handsome, like that green bloke says." Spike leaned in even closer and put a hand on Buffy’s waist. As he did this, he could feel her heart speed up. Emotion ripped through him at this. It made him short of breath. It made him want to laugh out loud or cry or run around the bar yelling to everyone that Buffy’s heart was beating faster because of him.

"You’re not handsome." Buffy couldn’t even make it sound a little convincing. "You have strange hair."

With this, Buffy reached up and ran a hand along his hairline, over his hair and down the back of his neck. Touching his cool skin. Spike closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling but when she took her hand away, he couldn’t control himself. He reached for her hands and held them, firmly, then looked deep into her eyes and said in a heavy, emotion-filled voice: "I love you."

Buffy was ready for the words this time, ready to accept them. Without hesitating, she tiptoed up and placed her lips on his. It took him a second to react, but when he did, he did it right. He held her face carefully in his hands as he kissed her mouth open, pressing his tongue against hers and urging her to do the same. When she deepened her kiss, he let go of her face and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as he could possibly get her. Buffy relaxed into him. Moaning into his mouth as his hand slid up her back and sank into her hair. It was his turn to moan as she slipped her arms around him and moved her hands over his back, caressing him with her fingers.

The Host turned around and did a double take at Spike and Buffy making out in the center of his bar. "Well, it’s about time. What a shame. I was hoping to hear her sing." He turned to his bartender. "Can you feel that? That’s all the sexual tension streaming out of the room. It’s all because of me, you know. I did that." The bartender seemed confused and The Host waved him off impatiently.

"Did you tell them?"

The Host turned to see Angel standing by the door. He watched as Angel caught sight of the couple and did his own double take. "I guess you did."

The Host went to Angel. "I’m sorry, Gorgeous. You know I had to tell them the truth."

"I know. It’s okay." With a smile, Angel added: "I just wish I would’ve waited till tomorrow to drop by."

Without looking back up at Buffy and Spike, Angel slipped out of the bar.

The Host watched him leave and then turned his attention back to Buffy and Spike who had broken their kiss. They looked at each other a moment. Spike looking a little more nervous than a man should after a kiss like that. Then, Buffy threw her arms around him, in a fierce hug. He closed his arms around her and lifted her off the ground in return, burying his face in her sweet-scented hair.

"Oh, Spike," she sighed into his ear. "I love you."

Spike froze. Buffy sensed it and backed up to look into his eyes. She’d said it. It was out in the open now. It didn’t feel like she’d imagined it would. It felt wonderful. It felt right. When Spike set her down and she met his staggered expression, she had to laugh. Then she took his hands in hers and said again: "I love you, Spike. I really do. You make me… happy."

"I do?"

"Well, you make me crazy. But you make me happy, too. You also make me feel kinda safe. You know? No one has ever made me feel those things before. Not like this."

Spike was at an absolute all time loss for words. So Buffy kept going.

"I know I should have mentioned all of this sooner but, I wasn’t sure what it meant. What it said about me. I was just so afraid of my own feelings. I didn’t even want me to know about them. But now, it’s so simple. You have a soul. And I had something to do with that. Me and Dawn are alive and safe, and you had something to do with that. I think all of this happened because you and I… we’re just right for each other. We always were. You’re the only one who doesn’t run away from me. You won my heart by your refusal to get out of my face." Buffy laughed softly and nervously at that, but Spike did not.

Instead, he slowly drew his eyes away from her and looked around. "Is this real? Is this happening?"

"Of course it is," said The Host as he walked by, drink in hand. "Don’t question it anymore, just kiss her again. You’ll get used to it."

Spike’s knitted brow relaxed and he looked back at Buffy with a Spike-sized grin. "He’s right. I need the practice." He picked her up, spun her around, set her down, and before she had a chance to catch her breath he was kissing her again.

The Host, looking on, started to fan himself. "Whew! I think I feel a song coming on. Let’s see…" He started flipping through his big songbook. "What’s the perfect song for a Vampire getting a soul because of his love for the Slayer and the Slayer finally admitting her love for him? Something classy… something… Donna Summer."

The host took to the stage and started to sing as the oblivious Vampire and his Slayer kissed and touched and enjoyed how wonderful it was to finally be in each other’s arms.

THE END

Back to Authors G-L

Back to Fan Fiction