Interior: The Magic Box. The last customers are leaving, Xander locking the door behind them. Anya is at the cash register, tallying the day’s totals. Willow and Tara are at the table working on a poster of some kind. Giles is replacing books and merchandise. A spirit of gloom hangs over all present, despite the cheery décor of the shop.

Xander

Well, that’s the last of them.

Anya

You will be happy to know that we took in a substantial amount of money this afternoon. I believe that it was a good idea to open the shop today. It kept us occupied AND amused.

Giles

Yes, Anya... it was a good idea. And no... we *will* be closed tomorrow.

Anya

The whole day?

Giles

Yes. Out of respect. It is customary. Willow and Tara are preparing a sign for the door. I would like to thank you all for helping out today. It was very kind of you.

Anya

Even though you weren’t really needed.

Willow

Well, we all wanted to be here. Buffy should be here. With us.

Giles

Well, with her, uh, Father in town... She wanted this evening for just the three of them. We will all be together tomorrow.

Xander

So did she ever find a church?

Giles

Ah yes, as it turns out Joyce had joined the Unitarian church several months ago. The minister there will conduct the service tomorrow.

Xander

Unitarian? What IS that?

Giles

I haven’t the foggiest idea. But if you are really curious, I’m sure that there will be some books there on the subject or you could ask the minister.

Xander

Uh... no thanks. I just wanted the short answer.

Willow

Well, I’m sure it’s a really nice church if Joyce went there. I still can’t believe that she’s dead.

Tara

I know, Honey. (She puts her arm around Willow) D-do you think Mr. Summers will want to take Buffy and Dawn back to Spain with him?

Xander

Spain! No way, José. He can’t do that... can he?

Giles

Well, technically Buffy is over 18 so she can choose for herself. But as for Dawn, I just don’t know.

Willow

He doesn’t even know that Buffy is the Slayer or that Dawn is (whispering)... what SHE is... can’t be too careful.

Xander

Well, on a positive note... We haven’t seen hide not hair of Glory since Willow transported her to who knows where...

Anya (coming in from the back room, drying her hands)

Maybe she’s given up. Or maybe Willow sent her so far away; she hasn’t been able to get back yet.

Giles

Or most likely she is just regrouping, and will strike when we least expect it.

A loud knock on the door makes everybody jump.

Giles

Well, she’s hardly going to knock!

Willow

Maybe it’s Buffy... though she has a key.

Giles

Maybe instead of speculating, somebody could go answer the door... Battle stations everyone.

Everyone stays exactly where they are. Giles sighs and gets up and opens the door to find Spike. Spike strolls in past Giles and surveys the Scoobies sitting around the table...

Giles

Spike!

Xander

Oh wonderful... The dungeon master has arrived!

Spike

Excuse me... I can see that I’ve interrupted Gloomfest 2001.

Giles

I believe you were told that you aren’t welcome here.

Xander (getting up)

Get out Spike! Too bad the sun isn’t shining or throwing you out would be a lot more fun!

Spike (arrogantly)

This isn’t a bloody social call! I just happen to have some very important info on your friend Glory... but if you aren’t interested, I’ll just be off then. (He swaggers towards the exit)

Xander

Good. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Giles

Wait a minute Xander. Spike... Hold up.

Spike leans against the doorway. Giles and the SG move together for a huddle.

Giles (in a low voice)

Listen... I’ve been thinking. We’ve been forgetting one important factor in dealing with Spike.

Willow

What? That we hate him? That Buffy hates him? I haven’t forgotten.

Giles

He knows about Dawn! He’s the one who told her in the first place. Remember?

Xander

So, what... That means we have to be nice to the stalker creep, so he won’t betray Dawn to Glory?

Willow

He’s done stuff like that before... Remember Adam?

Giles

Well, he hasn’t betrayed us yet, or Glory would have been after Dawn by now. All I’m suggesting is that if he DOES have important information about Glory...

Xander

Which I doubt...

Giles

It might be extremely stupid to ignore it.

Willow

What if it’s a trap or a trick?

Giles

Well, we can only find out what he’s up to, by talking to him. Buffy’s not here... What harm could it do?

Xander

Okay, but if he’s up to something...

Giles

Yes, Xander we all feel the same way. But remember, with Spike’s chip, we are a lot more dangerous to him than he is to us...

Giles stand up and approaches Spike

Giles

Very well, Spike... What do you have to say for yourself?

Spike

Well, first of all... I was *wondering* when it would finally occur to you wankers that I know your precious secret. Not that I told anybody. Yet. (Off their looks) I could bloody HEAR you over there! Vampire, remember?

Everybody just stares at Spike with hostility

Spike

Second of all... Where’s the Slayer? She should be hearin’ this. It has to do with her.

Giles

Buffy is not here... nor will she be here. You will have to deal with us.

Xander

That’s right, Romeo... just us.

Spike

You lot really are in a mood, aren’t you? Buffy takes the night off and morale goes right down the crapper. (Sees the poster on the table) so what’s this then? (Willow tries to pull it away from him but he gets it and reads it) Magic Box closed due to death in family. What? Who... who’s... Bloody Hell... Did something happen to Buffy? (He grabs Giles by the collar ignoring the searing pain in his head) If something happened to her and you sodding buggers are just sitting here not telling me, so help me... (Xander leaps up and pulls Spike and Giles apart.)

Xander

Down Boy!

Giles (Gasping)

It’s not Buffy. Buffy is fine.

Spike

Dawn then? You said Glory hadn’t got her.

Giles

It’s not Dawn either. It’s Joyce. She died day before yesterday.

Spike sinks into a chair in mixture of relief that it isn’t Buffy or Dawn and shock about Joyce.

Spike

Joyce? She’s dead? W-what happened... Was it Glory?

Willow

No... It doesn’t seem to be her. It was a complication of her surgery.

Spike

But... She was fine. She was better wasn’t she? I was just talking to her in the kitchen a few days ago. She was telling me some boring story about the gallery and I was, you know, pretendin’ to think it was funny... like you humans do.

Anya

Tell me about it. Humans tell the most boring stories, don’t they? (Off their looks) I don’t mean any of you. Of course.

Spike

This isn’t right. It was just a few days ago.

Xander

What do you care? Just tell us about Glory and get the hell out!

Spike

What... You think I don’t care? I l-liked Joyce. She was always nice to me. When Dru left me, she gave me hot chocolate. She was the only one of you bloody sods who ever treated me like a human being. She was worth the whole lot of you put together!

Everybody is staring at Spike and his obvious show of emotion.

Willow

I’m sorry Spike. I didn’t think that vampires had those sorts of feelings.

Anya

Typical.

Xander

What do you mean, typical?

Anya

People…assuming that just because you aren’t human that you have no feelings. It’s downright condescending.

Giles

Well vampires can’t feel emotions like love... It’s a well-known fact...

Anya

Hogwash! Vampires are a mixture of human and demon, right? Well humans can love and demons can love, so why wouldn’t the combination be able to love?

Xander

Demons can love?

Anya

Well of course! I have been in love with a couple myself. (To Xander) A long time ago.

Spike

How’s Buffy taking it... About her Mom, I mean? She must be pretty broke up. Listen... if you see her... Tell her that…never mind. Forget it.

She wouldn’t want to hear it from me, anyway.

Giles

Spike... Perhaps if you could just give us the information about Glory... We’de be glad to pay you.

Spike

Don’t want your bloody money.

Giles

Then what do you want? This isn’t going to get you Buffy, you know.

Spike

Yeah... I pretty much had that one figured out.

Xander

So why do you suddenly want to help us?

Spike (leaping up)

Suddenly? Suddenly? I’ve been helping you idiots for the last six months... Or haven’t you even noticed!

Willow

You’ve been helping us?

Spike

Oh bloody hell... Do I have to give you a list? Right here in this magic shop I punched Tara there in the nose. Proving she wasn’t a demon! And did anybody even thank me?

Tara

Well. It really hurt.

Willow

But I guess it did help... I just didn’t think about it.

Spike

And then just a couple of weeks ago, the Slayer brought me her Mom and Dawn to bloody baby-sit while she was being tested by the council... Have you forgotten that one?

Giles

She did? Extraordinary. She never mentioned it.

Spike

Said I was the only one strong enough to protect them. And I was glad to do it too. And then there was the fight with Glory…

Xander

Okay Spike... I will grant that you have done some things to help us. But... On the negative side... You also stalked Buffy, and stole her clothing, and chained her in a dungeon and threatened her with Drusilla... Not such a good score when you average it out.

Spike

Okay, okay... I screwed up! I admit it. But you don’t understand... Drusilla came back... she... she

Giles

Spike, if you’re going to blame this on Drusilla, you can just leave now... We’ve had enough of your excuses. Just tell us what happened. The truth, Spike.

Spike

I am telling the bloody truth. She came back. She promised me my old life again. She could kill for me... I can eat dead people... just can’t kill ‘em myself. I could have gone with her and back to my old unlife... It was what I had bloody dreamed about since I got this sodding chip!

Xander

So why didn’t you?

Spike

Oh... Is that what you would have wanted? Me back to my old evil ways? Dru and me on a killing spree... Doesn’t matter to you does it... Just as long as it isn’t in your precious Sunnydale?

Giles

No... Of course that’s not what we wanted. But why *didn’t* you go with her?

Spike

Because it wasn’t what I wanted any more. I don’t know whether the chip messed up my brain or if I’ve been hanging out with you wankers for so long it’s all rubbed off... But I chose the hero instead of the villain... don’t you get it? I didn’t let Dru get Buffy. I sent her packing instead.

Xander

You let her go... you didn’t stake her.

Spike

Yeah, that’s right, I didn’t. ... But then again, neither did Buffy…did you ask her why? Vampire slaying’s not *my* job.

Giles

Well, Spike... This stalking of Buffy has got to end. I don’t see any problem with you helping us... But Buffy may. You have burned a few bridges there, I’m afraid. Why don’t you tell us what you know about Glory? We’ll see what happens from there.

Spike

Well, You know the other night at the Bronze, Buffy was talking to some bloke... Dawson’s Creek type?

Willow

Ben? He’s an intern at the hospital where Joyce had her surgery.

Spike

Yeah, him. Well she was talking to him again at that party, right before robot girl tossed me out the window.

Xander

Oh... Yeah, a moment to remember. But what has Ben got to do with all of this?

Spike

Well, I figured Buffy kinda liked this guy... he’s just bland enough to be what she thinks is her type. So I decided to kind of, well, follow him... Just to make sure he was on the up and up. (Off their looks) I wasn’t going to HURT him... just check him out... in case he was married with three kids, you know.

Giles

Get on with it, Spike.

Spike

Well, I had asked around about him and found out he was a doctor and all, so I wait in my car outside the hospital, and sure enough out he comes and gets into this Lexis. Naturally, he would have a great car. Well, I follow him right to this really posh apartment complex right near the park.

Giles

Where Buffy fought that giant snake? There is a very expensive housing complex overlooking it.

Anya

I’ve seen those apartments. They are very beautiful. Maybe I should have been an intern.

Xander

Believe me, Anya. Interns can’t afford places like that... He must have been visiting someone. Family maybe.

Spike

What I figured. Well anyway... I couldn’t follow the guy inside... Doorman and whatnot, so I was set to leave when he gets out of the car, and I notice that he looks all sick and shaky. So I think, what the hell, and stick around. He can barely walk and he’s looking all around like he’s looking for somebody... But there’s nobody around but some old lady walking a poodle. Anyway... Here’s the weird part. While I was watching him, from my car, he changes right before my eyes... Into this Glory chick!

Xander

What! You expect us to believe that? Is your brain as dead as the rest of you?

Spike

Well, It almost knocked my eyes out! I woulda though she had just snuck up, but she was wearing HIS clothes... Doctor pajamas and all. She grabs the old lady by the head and just…I don’t know what happened...

Willow

Sucked her brains out... Just like Buffy said!

Spike

I dunno... All this light was streaming around her fingers, and the old lady was just lying there twitchin’... And the next thing I knew she was Dr. Ben again, and he looks down at old lady all upset and starts acting like a bloody doctor, taking her pulse ands what not. Then he runs into a phone booth to phone for help and I took off, and came here.

Xander

That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.

Spike

Well, it was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. You don’t believe me.

Giles

I’m afraid it is all too convincing. Remember that there were three gods in this demon dimension... Spike may have uncovered number two.

Tara

But if Ben and Glory are the same person, does that really count as two?

Xander

Tara... You’re hurting my head.

Willow

Wow... That is really strange. Ben... He seems like such a nice guy.

Giles

Spike... You said that Ben was acting weak and sick before Glory attacked the woman. Was he still weak and sick afterwards?

Spike

Now that you mention it he was acting all healthy like afterwards.

Giles

Well, this is very valuable information Spike. We may have uncovered a weakness in Glory. And Ben liking Buffy may actually work to our advantage. Thank you, Spike.

Xander

Yeah... Thanks, Spike. I still don’t like you.

Spike

Get stuffed, Xander.

Giles

Boys... We don’t have time for this. We need a plan. Preferably one that doesn’t involve Buffy, if at all possible.

Spike

I’ve got one, actually.

Willow

Well, I hope it’s better than your last one... the one with the chains and the cattle prod...

Spike

That wasn’t a plan. *This* is a plan. You all remember a bloke named Warren?

End of Scene