Paths Diverged/Divulged by JustSkipIt

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Guess what, I don't own W&T, Buffy or the rest of the BtVS crew. Any similarity to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental and fortunate.
Distribution: Littlecrazy80/Romy
The Mystic Muse /mysticmuse.net
Spoilers: Season 6
Author's Notes: Well I think it's always a good idea to start with the important thanks: Thank you to the love of my life: Rachel. Thank you to Joss Whedon who created these characters and the Buffyverse. Thank you to the fictional characters of Willow & Tara and the wonderful actresses Alyson Hannigan & Amber Benson. Finally thanks to all the Kittens who read and enjoy and comment on these fictions, particularly the moderators and Xita!
Pairing: Willow/Tara

Summary: The sequel to W/T Season 3 Y'all.

Having once again faded into the background and retaken her seat on the bench Tara watched Willow. The redhead stared and stared at the final painting. Occasionally her eyes seemed to flick to the others, displaying disbelief, but mostly she just stared and stroked the final painting. Tara had noted Helen haunting the archway both because, as Tara knew, the gallery should have closed 30 minutes earlier and because no one was supposed to touch the paintings. Sure Tara had used a fixative on the paint but she no longer owned the work.

That was a strange thing too: to not own her works. This was only her second exhibit and she hadn't sold any works at the first exhibit. That exhibit was a student show at Texas A&M her first year. The call was for any "animal" art work and she had submitted two drawings of Chestnut which she had completed while still in high school. But she had not been willing to sell those works.

Tara wondered if she should say something to Willow. Should she approach her? Hug her? Comfort her? Should she suggest that they go somewhere else so Helen could lock up? Obviously they needed to talk. Tara could imagine that Willow probably felt violated by the "angel" series and that the redhead probably imagined that she was crazy from viewing the "demon" series. How would she explain? I've got it: Hey baby, sorry I didn't mention it before but … well…I've been obsessed with you for years and I have these explicit dreams of you all the time. And oh yeah, also I have crazy nightmares with gore and death and destruction. Oh yeah, that'll go over great!

Slowly Willow turned toward her as if she were taking in the gathering dusk. She noted Helen lurking near the archway of the room and Tara sitting on the bench looking like a small terrified child. The redhead took three shuffling steps toward the center of the room and silently put out her hand.

Tara was surprised at Willow's motion. She stared at the hand before following the path up Willow's freckled arm and to her impassive face. Matching the girl's silence Tara gently entwined her fingers in Willow's and used her cane to help lever herself from the seat. They began to slowly move toward the doorway looking but not smiling at Helen as they passed.

Tara could feel Willow's erratic energy as it flowed through their linked hands. The redhead was a swirling mixture of shock, anger, surprise, confusion, and grief. All she wanted was to get out of here, out from under the watchful eye of Helen, and to explain. If this was the end, as she feared, she wanted to know quickly. I've spent so much of my life on this woman. If it will never be, I need to know that, her mind panicked. Through her fear she suddenly became aware that Helen had approached them. She gently laid her hand on Willow's arm. "Willow. I can see that this was a shock for you," she quietly said. "I assure you that I had no idea you didn't know about the drawings."

First Willow felt a strange sensation on her arm. She looked around slowly and realized that someone was touching her gently. But it wasn't Tara. Tara's hand was entwined with her own. She could feel their magical energy and she could feel Tara reading her emotional energy. The blonde wasn't trying to control or assuage Willow's reaction at all; she was just reading the redhead. So when Willow felt this other hand on her arm she followed the path of the hand and up the arm to ascertain the source of the contact. Helen's words came to her as if the woman were speaking in slow motion and Willow thought, Now that's ridiculous. People don't speak in slow motion. It just looks like her mouth is moving slowly. So why am I hearing her words so slowly? Maybe I've gone deaf. But I can hear her talking. Is there a disease or condition of hearing but hearing everything slowly and will I eventually get too far behind? In direct contrast to the apparent speed of Helen's speech Willow's mind raced through this entire babble in the time it took the exhibit gallery owner to produce the first few words of her speech. The redhead raised her eyebrows at Helen. That…I…she…huh? she thought incoherently. She was trying to figure out how to respond when she realized that she just didn't care to respond in any way. Speaking for the first time in she had no idea how long she turned slowly to Tara. Looking into blue eyes, eyes which demonstrated the fear in the blonde witch, she whispered: "can we go?"

Tara visibly twitched at Willow's words but recovered quickly. Not trusting her voice she nodded and gave a half-hearted smile to Helen as the two girls went out the door. Neither girl spoke as Tara let Willow into the car and closed the door behind her before climbing in the driver's side. As she sat she felt the usual twinge of pain in her leg and gasped.

Tara's exclamation of pain brought Willow out of her fog. She looked over at the blonde quickly to see her attempting to hide the expression of pain that crossed her face. The redhead's eyes wandered to Tara's gentle hands rubbing her leg. "Would you like me to drive?" Willow offered.

"N-n-no," Tara responded. Realizing that she didn't know what was really happening she asked, "w-w-where?"

Oh Goddess. She's stuttering so badly. Why is she stuttering so badly? What is she afraid of? Willow attempted to reason out the reason for Tara's upset as she watched the blonde intently. "My place," she answered.

She just wants me to drop her off. Oh Goddess. It's over. It's so over. I should have told her about the drawings. I should have just said, "so Willow. I'm glad you're here. I've been drawing your naked quivering body for years." Yeah. That would go over so well. Tara worried. "O-o-o-k," she whispered attempting to fight back the tears she knew would fall. And this time she knew it would be so much worse. Before she had only met Willow the one time but now she had gotten to share a few weeks, a few dates, some incredible kisses… and to lose that all.

Willow knitted her eyebrows as she looked at the blonde. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. At first Willow thought it was in reaction to seeing her art work. The painting of Chestnut alone would have broken most people but combined with the one of Becky, Willow couldn't imagine how Tara could come to the gallery. But then this woman wasn't most people. She was stronger and more resolved than anyone Willow had ever met. Even your Tara? Her mind answered just as quickly, even my Tara. So why the tears? As she realized what must be going on for the blonde Willow entwined their fingers and lifted Tara's hand to her lips. Placing a soft kiss on the skin she attempted to comfort her: "I want to show you something I have at my place."

Tara stole a glance toward the passenger seat uncertainly. Is she saying she wants me to come in? She attempted to reconcile what she was hearing with what she knew must be true. Surely Willow was angry at her; surely she felt betrayed and exposed. Didn't she? Tara pulled into a parking space at the hotel and slowly got out of the car. By the time she had closed her door Willow had come around the driver's side and reached her hand out toward the blonde. Tara looked at the offering warily but took it nonetheless. The two girls walked in silence toward the building, Willow only dropping Tara's hand when they reached the door and she had to unlock it. Silently Willow moved toward the kitchen and started some coffee. It was obvious to both girls that it would be a long night.

Tara took a seat on the chair by the computers and waited as Willow finished her work on the coffee. Once the liquid was brewing the redhead re-entered the room and silently crossed to her bags. Without speaking she pulled a sheet of drawing paper from the bag where it had been safely wedged between the leaves of a book and handed it to Tara before walking back to the kitchen to get each of them a cup of coffee.

Aware that Willow had re-entered the room Tara didn't even attempt to hide her surprise at the display in front of her. The drawing was virtually identical to the final "angel" piece from the exhibit. It had the same sleeping position, the same erotic innocence, the same implications for the sheet clutched in her hand. Tara's name and 12/98 were scribbled in the lower corner. The blonde handed back the picture and took the coffee in exchange. "I d-d-don't understand," she stuttered still shocked to see her drawing in Willow's room.

Willow sipped at her coffee as she explained, "Tara drew that picture the afternoon of the first time we ever made love."

Tara attempted to take in the implications for this information. "W-w-when?" As she spoke she realized what a stupid question it was. The picture was signed and dated. "I m-m-mean that's a stupid question. Obviously it was December, 1998." She sighed in frustration at herself. The metaphorical lightbulb went off over her head as she asked, "December, 19th?"

Willow crinkled up her brow in confusion as Tara pinpointed the date. Unexpectedly a blush rose up her cheeks as she thought of that weekend and then of being here with this similar but different woman. She nodded silently.

Tara took a deep breath. This wasn't making sense but she was starting to see some connections. "Early in the morning I had a dream. It was the first dream I ever had of you but you were different. That night I dreamed of that." She pointed to the drawing as she spoke.

Willow was intrigued but still confused about how Tara would know the date. She had looked very closely at the art at the gallery and hadn't seen any dates on the drawings. "How do you know the date?" she asked.

Tara looked up into curious green eyes and simply said, "that afternoon y'all pulled me into your world."

Again Willow was shocked by this disclosure. "No," she answered, "it was in April. It was near the end of the school year when we pulled you through. Remember, in our world Michelle and Eliza were already a couple?"

Tara thought of arguing but realized that this was far from the important point of the afternoon. "Ok. So it was April for you b-but December for me." Looking at the floor she added, "are you m-m-mad about the drawings?"

Finally Willow understood why Tara was so upset: Oh! She thought I would be mad about the drawings of me. Stupid me! She kneeled in front of the blonde and lifted her chin slightly to look into her teary eyes. "Baby?" she made sure she had Tara's attention. "I'm not mad at all. I'm confused about them but I'm not mad. The drawings and paintings are beautiful and powerful and confusing." She leaned forward and kissed Tara. She could feel the other girl's panic and desperation in the way she was withholding herself and she allowed their kiss to go on and on until she felt Tara beginning to soften. Finally she pulled back. "Can we talk about the exhibit?"

Hearing Willow call her baby and feeling her kiss her so passionately, Tara could believe that this woman really cared for her, that she wasn't angry. But … As Willow rocked back onto her heels, Tara stood and began pacing the room. "I'm r-r-really sorry about the exhibit Willow. I didn't know you were coming and it's not that I j-j-just wanted to make money off your body or something." She took a breath unsure if she could explain herself: "It's just… The exhibit is about my inspiration my-my-my … I can't explain…"

Tara looked up shocked at the redhead's words. Willow had absolutely pinpointed the meaning of the exhibit. "Y-y-yes," she stuttered.

Willow waved her hand as she went to get them each a cup of coffee. As she returned she explained, "I have so many questions. Those drawings, those pictures are amazing and I don't understand at all. How did you know? Where did they come from? How…I mean…how did you know about my birthmark?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth the redhead blushed bright red. Thinking of the birthmark made her remember how Tara would tease her saying that it was the only thing standing between Willow and perfect breasts. Then she would circle the mark with her own marks, to contain it she said.

Tara blushed but couldn't restrain herself from the teasing comment, "I always thought of it as a beauty mark." She was rewarded as Willow's mouth dropped open. That vixen! the redhead thought. Tara smirked before giving her one word explanation: "dreams."

"Dreams…Huh?" Willow offered lamely. Willow began to shake as she took in what Tara was telling her. She blindly reached her hand behind her and thankfully found the bed onto which she collapsed. "You dreamed me?" she confirmed. As Tara continued she asked, "you dreamed Adam? And the Gentlemen?" Tara continued nodding and was dismayed to see Willow jump from the bed. "Oh Goddess!" she shouted as she began pawing through one of her bags. She pulled from the bag a worn black journal and began paging through it. As she found the entry she was looking for she held the book out to Tara who began reading silently:

"She slept at the stable for close to two weeks," Willow explained quietly as Tara handed back the journal.

"I-I-I…," Tara tried to speak but couldn't. She took a deep breath before gathering her wits. "There w-w-were other dreams?"

Willow still felt total shock over the disclosures of the past few hours. She didn't initially process Tara's question but asked her own: "how many dreams did you have Tara?" As the words were coming out of her mouth she realized that the blonde might think she was questioning her or suspecting her of something. She kneeled in front of the girl and took her hands in her own. Tara looked down at the small hands grasping hers lightly. The freckles made myriad patterns on the back of her hand. She concentrated her attention on the skin without answering. Willow allowed Tara plenty of time. She didn't want to pressure the girl but she really wanted to know what was going on. "Sweetie… how many dreams did you have?"

The gentle tone of her voice encouraged Tara to share her experience. "H-h-hundreds," she finally whispered.

Repeating her previous answer Tara told her, "hundreds." She took a deep breath before elaborating: "I don't understand a lot of them. Some are t-terrible… really really terrible" Looking up she saw Willow's warm and caring green eyes. "Some are wonderful," she smiled and blushed.

The redhead in turn blushed as she thought of the content of the artwork she had already seen. She was confused but wanted to suggest her suspicions: "you had dreams of her life? Our life?" She amended her thoughts: "and she had dreams of yours?"

Tara took waved her hand at Willow to let her know that she wanted to think about it for a few minutes. "Oh Goddess!" Tara suddenly shouted. "I thought they were j-just nightmares. Those were r-r-real? You lived that life with demons and m-m-monsters." She leaned back and started brushing her hands over Willow as if checking her for internal injuries or damage that she hadn't noticed until now. Again she asked, "w-were they real?"

Willow inhaled deeply as she thought of how to answer best. "Uh, well I haven't seen all your drawings but uh probably most of them were real." Tara felt simultaneous waves of fear and relief. Fear that the dreams were true, that Willow had lived through such terror and relief that she had made it through. She leaned forward and kissed the redhead desperately before grasping her in a tight hug.

For a few minutes Willow just enjoyed the close contact. After a few minutes she gasped out, "oxygen becoming an issue here baby."

Tara quickly released her hold on the redhead but quickly kissed her again. "Th-th-the dreams are confusing b-b-but are you mad at me about the exhibit?"

Willow sat back cocking her eyebrow at the blonde in confusion. "What? Mad? No why would I be mad? Oh because there were pictures of me in it? I mean ok, surprise for me but the whole thing was a surprise and I don't know why you didn't tell me right off but I'm sure you had a good reason…" She trailed off at the end before answering succinctly, "no I'm not mad baby."

Tara breathed out slowly in response to Willow's answer. As she was starting to answer a wide yawn broke out across her face. Finishing she whispered, "good. I'm glad you're n-not mad."

The redhead smiled gently at Tara before leaning forward to press their lips together. At first the contact was gentle and soft but quickly it grew more passionately as both girls darted out their tongues at the same instant. Each giggled as their soft tongues clashed before they widened their mouths and locked them together. Willow welcomed Tara's soft intrusion first before returning both tongues into the blonde's mouth. Within minutes their breathing became labored. Finally Willow broke off the kiss as she asked, "we can talk about them more another time right?"

It took the redhead a moment to realize that Tara was again referring to her artwork, saying that she would show her more another time. Rather than asking again about the art, she asked, "stay with me tonight?"

Tara looked lovingly at the redhead before looking at the floor. "I c-c-can't. I mean I'm not r-r- r…" she stuttered.

Realizing that the blonde was stuttering but that she wasn't upset, Willow giggled. She lifted Tara's chin as she explained, "not that baby. I just want to feel you in my arms all night." She waited a second before continuing, "if not tonight some other night?"

Tara smiled as she heard the smaller girl's loving words. "Tonight's good Willow."

"Really," Tara confirmed and was reassured as Willow leaned forward wrapping her arms around her and kissed her on the forehead.

2. - Baby Acupulcos is a restaurant/bar chain in Austin. It is renowned more for the quantity of alcohol than for its food.

3. - Flan is a Mexican desert. Basically it's a short cylinder of custard, covered with a thin caramel coating and whipped cream. Sometimes it's chocolate which is good or other flavors which tend to be pretty gross.

4. - The meaning of the title: This part is meant as a "bookend" to part 13 but it's unidimensional rather than interdimensional.

Tara was intently studying her biology book when Michelle walked up to the table. "Hey Tare," the younger girl greeted her.

Tara quickly packed up her books as she greeted her roommate: "hey Chelle. Where's Eliza?"

Michelle made a disapproving face as she explained, "her father called her a little while ago. She went to meet him for dinner and will join us later if she's done in time."

Just then the waitress arrived with a menu for each girl and handed each a margarita. "These are from the table over there," she indicated with her hand as she walked away.

"Debra and Rachel," Tara answered exasperated. Geez, how come I'm the only one who ever recognizes them, she wondered.

"Oh," Michelle answered somewhat cryptically, "why do you think they sent the drinks over?"

Tara shrugged her shoulders as she gave a wave to the dark-haired couple across the restaurant. "I d-don't know. Maybe they want to get us drunk."

"Then they should have waited until Eliza arrived," Michelle joked. Under her breath she muttered as she thought about the end of the christening party: "'Willow. It's a tree baby.'" She looked up to notice the two other women enjoying their dinner. "We should send them a drink too then," she suggested.

Tara raised her eyebrows to look at Michelle as if she was an idiot. "Oh great idea Chelle," she teased, "except for they don't drink anyway and plus which Rachel's p-p-pregnant so definitely no alcohol."

"Well," Michelle tried to convince Tara of the wisdom of her idea, "we could send them flan?"

"Sure," Tara giggled, "what says thanks for trying to get us drunk like flan?" After ordering their dinner and another round of drinks she commented on Eliza's absence: "so some quality roommate time then."

Michelle smiled as she teased her friend: "quality roommate time huh? Gee I was at the house all evening and all night last night. I didn't see you there though. Actually I don't remember seeing you this morning either."

"Do you want to know what I think?" Michelle continued teasing. "I think you didn't come home because you were with Willow all night." Although she noticed the bright red blush filling her best friend's cheeks she still went ahead with her teasing, sticking out her tongue as she finished speaking and curling the end up and down.

Tara hid her face in her hands as she exclaimed, "and I thought it w-would be easier without Eliza here…"

Showing her excitement Michelle prompted the blonde, "so… Spill! I want details girl."

"There's n-n-nothing to … I mean it wasn't … we d-didn't…" She breathed out in exasperation as Michelle bounced on the edge of her seat.

Michelle reached forward taking Tara's hand as she told her: "Eliza said that when she saw y'all at the coffee shop things were getting hot and heavy. Then you didn't come home. I can add two and two sweetie."

By this time Tara was amused by Michelle's interest in her sex life or lack thereof . "If you're adding two and two, today it equals five: I took her to the exhibit," she explained.

Any observer could measure Michelle's surprise by the look on her face. She looked like someone had just splashed ice water on her. "You took her to the exhibit?" she repeated. "But you had told her about it right?" Tara shook her head. "Oh God," Michelle exclaimed, "why didn't you tell her about it or take her to see it earlier Tare? How did she react? What did she say?"

Tara started to giggle as Michelle asked questions faster than she could possibly answer them. The waitress brought their dinners and asked if they needed anything before fading into the background once again. "What was I s-supposed to say Michelle?" Tara asked after taking a bite of food. "Hey Willow, I'm glad you're here and everything. By the way, I've been having erotic and detailed dreams about your f-for three or four years and I put them in an exhibit for everyone to see your naked body?" she suggested.

Tara continued, "and then there are the other pictures." She posited, "I could say, 'also I have completely insane n-nightmares almost every night about monsters and death and destruction. I put that in the show too. Wanna come?'"

Tara snorted: "shocked would be a good description. She was embarrassed but fascinated of the drawings of her and horrified of the demon ones. She actually swooned over the painting of Chestnut and Helen had to bring her a cold rag."

Tara nodded; she knew that Michelle couldn't stand the gallery owner. Apparently Helen's father was on some board with Eliza's father. The woman had hit on Eliza even after meeting Michelle which had forever put her on the runner's bad side. To make matters worse, Eliza seemed clueless that she was being hit on and attempted to set Helen up with Tara. And boy, that was a date that had gone badly. Tara remembered a few very awkward hours spent discussing art and college. When she had found out that Tara drew, Helen had insisted on seeing the girl's work. Of course then she was offended by the drawings of Willow, who she assumed was Tara's girlfriend. Helen had puffed that if Tara was working through a breakup or on the outs with her lover, she shouldn't be using Helen as some stop-gap measure. With the date having gone so badly, Tara was shocked when Helen called a few weeks later inviting the girl to display some of her work. In fact the woman had apologized for her behavior and explained that she sometimes took things very personally.

"Oh yeah," Tara agreed, "she was a s-sight." "She rushed right over to say how glad she was to finally meet my girlfriend which I think confused Willow," Tara continued. "Then before we l-left," Tara told Michelle, "she said how sorry she was that the pictures were in the show and she didn't know that Willow didn't know about it." Tara half-laughed: "Willow looked like she had no idea what Helen was talking about."

Michelle laughed in response. "I bet Helen was completely confused. You should have told her that you just met Willow a few weeks ago," she suggested. After calling over the waitress and ordering them two more margaritas Michelle asked, "so how did Willow take it?"

Tara considered for a minute. "Well," she answered, "she was shocked of course. B-but not mad. We talked about the whole thing and it gets stranger."

"She showed me a journal entry," Tara explained, "her Tara dreamed about my a-accident. She had pains in her leg for weeks and dreamed that Chestnut was dead." She continued worried that Michelle would think she was crazy, but then the girl had never judged her when Tara though she was crazy, even when Tara was most sure of it herself. "It turns out that most of what I dreamed was real. I apparently saw what her Tara saw."

"You know," Michelle told her roommate, "this is pretty weird stuff." Tara nodded her agreement and the runner continued, "well… I can honestly say that what I was thinking y'all did would have been more fun."

Michelle spit out the drink she had just taken in shock. "What? What? What are you saying? What do you mean you'll take my word for it?"

Tara laughed at the girl's expression and the mess she had made by spitting out her drink as she answered, "what do you mean what do I mean?"

Michelle looked warily and narrowed her eyes, "what I was thinking would have been more fun." She emphasized each word slowly and carefully as if speaking to a child or painting with a crayon.

Now Tara returned the tone of voice as she reiterated her earlier thoughts, "I'll take your word for that."

"Ok," Michelle said slowly, "I'll ask again: what do you mean you'll take my word for it?"

"I know; you know," Tara teased again, "I've h-heard y'all enough times." Michelle gave her a stern look that said, "tell me what's up, now! . Tara took another drink before admitting, "I've n-never…"

"Right," Tara agreed, "and did you notice how m-much not going on second dates with them I did?"

"Jesus God, Tara Maclay," Michelle answered, "it's not like you have to go on a second date with someone to have sex."

Tara explained, "well I w-would." She added, "plus which don't you think I would have told you? You're my best friend."

Michelle waved over the waitress. "We need another two drinks and bring two shots of tequila too," she told her. Turning back to Tara she explained, "Eliza is coming. She can drive us home. Plus which you're virtually obligated to get drunk if you eat at Baby A's." She muttered under her breath: "what were Debra and Rachel doing here?" "I can't believe this," she said starting to talk more quickly as the alcohol really took hold, "I mean I knew you didn't in high school but then I just assumed that sometime… I mean how could you not have? And you're so beautiful… And Eliza is sure that anyone would die from a few months without having sex," she giggled at the mention of Eliza's sexual nature.

"Well," Tara told her friend after each of them downed their shots and began on their next margaritas, "the closest I e-ever came was with this very cute runner I dated in high school."

Michelle giggled, "yeah Eliza can't believe you and I never slept together… and now this conversation is getting a little too surreal. So what about you and Willow? Do you want to?"

"Oh Goddess," Tara exclaimed, "that's the $64,000 question isn't it? I mean sure she's only beautiful and sexy and a great kisser and I've been obsessing over her for four years. What do you think?"

Michelle continued giggling as she looked toward the door. Seeing Eliza coming in she waved her over, obviously a little drunk to think that the girl would need the help finding them. Eliza made her way to the table and kissed her girlfriend surprised at the strong taste of alcohol on her breath. As she slid into the seat next to her she asked, "so what are we celebrating?"

Eliza took one look at the girls before yelling to the waitress, "I'll have a margarita too."

"And a shooter," Eliza agreed as she turned to Tara. "So are we drinking to your virginity's integrity or impending demise?"

"We've noticed," Michelle teased. Tara nodded emphatically. She had been thinking the same thing but hesitated just long enough to allow Michelle to speak.

Eliza leaned forward putting her index fingertips together and pursing her lips. "Tell Dr. D'Angelo your troubles Ms. Maclay," she instructed.

"Great, we're deciding this by c-committee," Tara slurred, "do we want to call over the waitress too?"

Eliza looked the girl and all her piercings up and down. "Nah, she'd probably want to take it off your hands for you and I don't think that would be the best idea," she commented.

Tara took a deep breath, then deciding that the deep breath was unlikely to help that much she took a long drink. "Well… obviously I'm interested in … well Willow."

"That's Dr. Smart-ass to you," Eliza teased. She was starting to move quickly through her margarita as if wanting to catch up to the other two girls.

"Oh, and you don't so you're thinking that she'll be disappointed," Eliza finally clued in.

Michelle attempted to reassure the blonde: "look when Eliza and I first made love I was really scared for the same reason but it was wonderful and perfect." Eliza whispered something in her girlfriend's ear and the runner turned bright red.

Again finishing her drink and waving over the waitress Tara explained as soon as the girl had left: "not only has she had all this experience, but she's had it with me. Or a version of me. She knows just how my b-body works and all the right things to do or say. But I don't know anything and she's used to a Tara who knows all her right things to do or say…"

Eliza downed her next shooter before proclaiming her verdict: "Wow that's righteously fucked Tara."

"Thanks for the help D-dr. D'Angelo," Tara giggled as her shooter followed Eliza's. Indicating the newcomer's quickly evaporating sobriety she asked, "we thought you'd be driving us home. What are you drinking to?"

"Oh yeah honey," Michelle slurred, "what did your father want to see you about?"

Michelle did an imitation of her father as she told the other girls. "And I quote, '3.4 is not 3.5 young lady.'"

Michelle ran her fingers through her girlfriend's hair as she asked, "but you're on the board of two non-profits. You do volunteer work and founded an organization that does performances at hospitals and nursing homes. You're busy with that stuff."

"Well his point was that I also drink and get laid: not his exact words," Eliza pouted. "I'll have plenty of time to study over Christmas break though."

"We're not going to Switzerland anymore," she explained to her disappointed girlfriend.

"But you won't even have any classes to study for. It's between semesters," Michelle pouted, matching her girlfriend.

"Well I can prep for the LSAT," she snapped back. "Hey, let's get out here. We can get a six- pack and take Scooby to the park. You know: beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear." She waved down the waitress with her credit card and then turned to Tara. "You could call Willow. She's probably just sitting in that lonely hotel room waiting to hear from you."

"Oh yeah," Tara answered sarcastically, "she's just dying to talk to her d-drunk girlfriend, or whatever I am, and go to the park with the three of us to get more drunk?"

"Are you calling her?" Michelle asked as she noted Tara pulling a cell phone from her pocket.

"I'm calling a cab you goof," Tara answered. Within minutes the three girls were on their way back to the house to pick up Scooby and get some beer for their outing.

Willow rolled over again realizing that the phone was really ringing. It had taken her a long time to wake but remembering her luscious dream she understood why her body and mind resisted the interruption. Finally she shot her hand out toward the offending equipment and grasped for the handle, promptly knocking it to the floor in her waking clumsiness. "Hold on. I dropped the phone," she shouted toward the receiver as she bent to pick it up off the floor. With her feet tangled in the sheets it took her a few more seconds to untangle and grab the handle, shouting, "hold on… I'm coming …" the entire time, interspersed with curses of "phooey!"

Finally getting a hold on the phone she lifted it to ear and heard the sound of soft laughter coming over the earpiece. "Hey," she finally spoke into the receiver, "you're laughing at me."

She heard silence for a few seconds before she was greeted with the lovely sound of Tara's voice. "You're adorable," the blonde shyly answered. After a moment she added, "did I w-wake you?"

"Oh no," Willow quickly reassured her as she glanced around her hotel room trying to get an idea of what time it was. "I mean well maybe a little you did I mean well ok totally but not that I'm usually the sleep in the middle of the day type. I mean I'm not like a total slacker or anything. I just … Yeah you woke me." Again Willow heard Tara's full throaty laugh and felt like she might melt. Her body was still fully aroused from her dream and now the woman was on the other end of the phone with that wonderful voice. "Can I see you?" she blurted out.

She could hear the smile in Tara's response: "well that d-d-depends. Do you have any urgent plans in the next few days?"

Finally feeling fully awake Willow flirted: "well… I have a dinner date with this absolutely beautiful Goddess tomorrow night."

Tara felt thrilled to hear Willow's words. She had never been with any one like this woman. Never been with anyone who made her feel so special and honored and, well loved, all the time. Now that's a ridiculous thought Tara she admonished herself. It's not like she's in love with you. You've only known each other a few weeks. Even if she does love you, it's not really you she loves: it's the other Tara. She put those thoughts away as she asked, "I've got to go out of town for a few days on an emergency. Do you want to g-g-go with me?"

Willow's heart crashed and soared simultaneously. On one hand the blonde was canceling their dinner date but on the other she was asking her to go out of town. But what kind of an emergency? "Tara," she asked immediately, "what's wrong. Is it your father? Is he ok? Do we need to drive up to the farm because I can be ready in a few minutes. I've got money if you want to fly or take the train up there too. Oh crap. I guess you don't' need that offer any more; you have money now."

"Williow," Tara quickly interrupted, "please take a breath sweetie." She is so sweet, worrying about my family and wanting to pay to fly up there. Not that I need that anymore but I guess she isn't used to that. "It's business but I'd l-l-love for you to come with me if y…."

"I'm sorry to r-r-rush you but can you be ready in 30 minutes Willow?" Tara asked.

"I can try," Willow answered quickly as she glanced around the room at the clothes piled on the other bed. "Where are we going so I know what to pack?"

"Oh right, you might want to know that," Tara said. "We're going to a r-ranch a few hours South of here. It will be hot and we may stay a few days. You may want to bring your computer and a few books. I'm going to bring my school work."

"Great. Bye. I l-l-…look forward to it," Willow concluded lamely. Ok Rosenberg, what were you about to say? She discarded the thought as she started moving toward the pile of clothes while still holding the receiver.

Thirty minutes later Tara walked up to the door of Willow's hotel. Are you really going to get a different place Willow? she wondered. Not that there was anything wrong with the hotel but it just seemed so temporary. She could never believe that anything about it belonged, plus which everything happened in the same room. When she came to pick Willow up she had to either sit on a chair by all the computer equipment or on the bed. A nice apartment with a living room would be much better, and much more permanent. A post-it note was scrawled on the door: "Tara – showering – come in – five minutes!"

As the blonde closed the door behind herself she heard the shower shut off. A bag sat on the end of the unmade bed and it looked as if Willow had ripped through every piece of clothing she owned, not a terribly imposing selection, before tossing the discards on the extra bed. Piled on top of the mound of wrinkled clothing were a collection of books, printouts, and pens. As usual the computers whirred and buzzed although she noted that the bag for Willow's laptop was leaned against her bed as if it were ready to go. Ok, are those computers multiplying? Didn't she have two including the laptop last week? Now she had two plus the laptop? she wondered.

Moments later Willow emerged from the bathroom wearing jeans and a summer sweater. It left her arms bare and Tara found herself fascinated watching the freckles sprinkled liberally over the backs of her arms and shoulders as she continued toweling her hair dry. Tossing the towel through the door of the bathroom the redhead quickly walked toward Tara. Smiling as she approached she wrapped her arms around the small of Tara's back before leaning in to capture the blonde's lips in hers. What started as a gentle greeting quickly escalated to a passionate kiss that Tara reluctantly broke. "We n-n-need to go," she whispered.

"Right… going now….," Willow agreed as she tightened her embrace on the blonde and again merged their mouths, swirling her tongue within Tara's warmth. Tara sucked on the tip of Willow's tongue briefly before gaining entrance into the redhead's mouth. Both girls moaned as the kiss grew deeper and more passionate, their bodies pressed tightly together and hands clutching each other's back or neck.

Repeating her earlier action Tara broke the kiss again, leaning her forehead on Willow's to gaze into her deep green eyes. "I'd love to stay here kissing you all day but we have to go," she slurred.

Willow smiled as she pecked the blonde on the lips before turning to pick up her bags from the bed. "Another day then," she teased.

"What?" Tara asked before realizing what she had said and what Willow had replied. She felt the blush as it spread up her neck and to her cheeks but she agreed with the redhead: "r-right, another day."

Tara popped her trunk and Willow tossed her bags inside. As she walked around the side of the car she leaned her arm in to pet the dog lying across the back seat. "Hi Scooby," she purred as he licked at her fingers. Willow sat in the passenger seat and asked the reason for the trip: "not that I'm not excited to get to go away with you and spend days together, but why the sudden trip?"

Tara offered the redhead a bottle of water to match the one she was drinking from as she explained, "I got a call a little while ago. The owner of this r-ranch breeds horses. He has an injured horse and he doesn't want to lose it."

"His son went to school with one of the vets at my work," Tara continued explaining. "He called and said that they have already had two d-doctors out to look at the animal. They are desperate and asked her if she had any ideas. She suggested I go and look at the h-horse."

Oh Goddess! Why didn't I realize she would think that? Of course she thinks I just want to use her for her magic. As Tara began to panic she had the wherewithal to pull the car over to the side of the road. Quickly she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face the redhead who was looking dejectedly at her lap. Her lip was quivering and she was biting it as if to keep from crying. "Willow, no," Tara began, feeling like her heart would break along with the redhead's. "Please look at me," she pleaded as she gently touched her fingertips to Willow's chin.

Willow turned to look at the blonde witch, her eyes dull and sad. Tara could feel the sadness and disappointment pouring off her body as she tried to speak. "I didn't m-m-mean to make you…" She stopped and took a deep breath. "If you w-want to work with me, that's great." Willow's countenance fell even further as Tara confirmed her fears. "But that's n-not why I asked you to come," she told the redhead.

"Because I w-wanted you with me," Tara explained. Seeing that this explanation still wasn't satisfactory she continued, "I want to be with you m-more. It's so … and I miss you when we're not together… and I don't want to share my time with w-w-work or school or anything. I just want to have you to myself…. And I don't usually use so many words to say something so little but do you get it at all?"

Do I get it? Do I get it? Willow's mind raced as it went ten different directions to interpret Tara's words. No matter which direction it ran it came back to one conclusion: Tara wanted to see her more—to spend more time with her. And she wanted to go away together. Sure going to heal a horse isn't the most romantic outing but who cares? She wants to be with me more!

"Willow? D-d-did you hear me? I mean maybe I didn't explain it well. I was tr…" Tara's words were cut off by Willow's lips as her hands clasped the blonde's cheeks and her tongue immediately plunged into her soft mouth. Knowing they had to make time toward the injured animal Willow reluctantly pulled back. "I get it," she whispered, "and I want to see more of you too."

As Tara turned to rebuckle her seatbelt she heard Willow's mumble: "much more baby."

The two girls were silent for a few minute before Willow explained, "I'm glad that it's not the only reason you invited me but I'd love to work with you on the horse."

"Really?" Tara asked excited. Even though she hadn't invited the redheaded witch so that they could do magic together she was thrilled at the prospect. Whenever they touched her body felt like it was alive and on fire with want. But when Willow had amplified for her at the pet hospital that first night, it was even more encompassing. It was as if both women were sharing a part of themselves that belonged only to the other. It was like making love with their souls rather than their bodies. Not that you know anything about that, her mind reminded her.

Willow giggled at Tara's disbelief. "Of course I do," she reassured her. "Do you have any idea how wonderful it feels to do magic with you?"

Taking Tara's hand in her own and beginning to stroke the skin on the back of it, Willow emphasized, "no. Not that it's nice to have a partner. It's wonderful to do magic with you." She worried that she might scare the blonde witch but sometimes when passion speaks you just can't stop it: "When we do magic I can feel our connection. I can feel our souls sharing power and love. It's absolutely right!"

Tara gulped a few times as she tried to process what Willow had said. She glanced over to see if the redhead had realized her words and wanted to take them back but Willow looked anything but regretful. The smile on her face was unparalleled and she lifted Tara's hand to her lips to softly grace it with a slow kiss. Barely able to answer Tara agreed. "Me too," she whispered.

For a few minutes both girls rode in silence absorbing the peace of their drive and the feel of their linked hands. As Tara leaned forward to turn on the radio she asked, "so did you look at any apartments?"

The redhead started laughing immediately. "It's not as easy as you'd think. In Sunnydale it was really easy to find an apartment because there was pretty high turnover. I mean, well life expectancy wasn't that high so places were always coming available." Tara giggled as she looked over at the redhead. Sometimes the way Willow spoke about Sunnydale was really amusing. It seemed to have a combination of nostalgia and indifference. "But I guess Austin is a different deal," the redhead concluded.

"Oh yeah," Tara agreed. "Austin is a very different matter. That's part of the reason I bought the house. It was so expensive to r-rent a place on the bus route and big enough for Michelle and I and to be able to convert it for wheelchair a-a-access was just insane."

Well that answers the question about the wheelchair ramps and wide doorways in her house Willow thought as she began speaking. "That makes sense but I don't really want to buy. I mean how am I going to show two years of employment?"

Tara laughed openly at the unusual problems Willow would have with her identity or lack thereof. At the same time she wondered, does that mean she would want to own a house here? Is she planning on staying here or does she want to go back? Does she want to own a house because she doesn't think she would ever want to live with me? Realizing that she wasn't paying good attention to Willow she slammed the breaks on her internal rambling: Hey there Ms. Gun-jumper. Slow-down and listen to the woman or you will never get to the "where should we live?" conversation at all.

Willow enjoyed the soft sound of Tara's laughter. "I love the way you laugh," she told her and saw a smile light up the blonde's face.

As soon as the smile had come it passed though as Tara asked, "it reminds you of h- her?"

Still stroking Tara's soft hand Willow took a few seconds to think about it. "Not really," she responded, "actually it's very different from her laugh."

Tara crinkled up her eyebrows as she probed, "really what would be d-different?"

Again Willow gave it some thought. She had started noticing differences between the two girls and was enjoying discovering them. She felt somewhat uncomfortable discussing "her Tara" or is this one "my Tara" now? but this woman had asked. "Well," she thought, "her laugh was wonderful. She always laughed as if she knew something that I didn't know--something supremely silly and funny and caused by me. It made me feel good and warm and appreciated." Then she added, "your laugh is all those things but it is deeper too, more powerful. I get the feeling that you are laughing not only because you are amused by me and everything else but that you are genuinely grateful to have the chance to laugh."

Tara considered for a few seconds before responding. At first she had worried that she was pushing Willow too hard to share about her lover but then she had decided that if the redhead was uncomfortable, she would say something. A smile lit up the blonde's face as she confirmed, "that's a pretty good d-description of my laugh I think." Lifting Willow's hand to her lips to place a soft kiss on the skin she added, "plus which you give me a lot to smile about and a l-lot to laugh about too. I mean … not that I want to be laughing at you or that you are funny to laugh… Oh geez…"

Now it was Willow's turn to laugh as Tara blushed. Pulling their hands across the seat she placed a return kiss on the blonde's hand and told her, "I'm glad I make you laugh. I think it's really important and I definitely want to make you smile." She let the moment sit for a few seconds before continuing the original conversation: "I looked at four apartments. Two were outrageous. I'm not kidding -- the monthly rent was more than a semester of college would have been at home. The other two were pretty reasonably priced. Higher than I would have expected but good space and good wiring."

"So they had good electric," Tara joked, "did they have kitchens or d-did you look at that?"

Willow gave Tara's hand a little squeeze as she answered, "yes; they had kitchens." Deciding to tease her a little more she continued, "although I notice that this trip is a rather convenient way for you to get out of cooking me dinner."

Tara smiled back at Willow's playful taunt. "Would you like to come over for dinner next week Willow?"

"It's a date," Willow confirmed. After watching the scenery for a few minutes she decided to ask something that she had wondered about. One of the constants in her relationship with her Tara was that she had always read to the girl. Starting back in high school with a book that Tara needed to finish more quickly than she could on her own, Willow had always helped her keep up with her reading. Even though she was slightly worried that this woman would take offense she wanted to offer to read for her. She had always felt that sharing the activity was one that brought them closer together and had enjoyed it greatly whether she was reading pleasure or work materials. "Um, Tara?" she asked to get the blonde's attention.

Tara nodded to and glanced sideways at the redhead noticing that she was intently watching as she drove. "Is there… uh would you like… I mean… if it would help… do you have…" Tara's giggle caught the redhead's attention and she decided to spit it out in one breath: "doyouhaveanyreadingthatyoucouldusehelpwith?"

Tara glanced at Willow as she attempted to decipher her statement. "Do I… oh. Really? That would be so great," she told Willow. "Are you sure you don't m-mind?" she clarified.

Shifting to sit cross-legged in her seat Willow rushed to answer, "mind? Goddess I would never mind. I loved reading together and I've wanted to ask you but we just studied together for the first time the other day and I didn't really know how to ask or anything and I didn't know if you would think I was being insulting or something which now I think maybe I am talking too much…" She trailed off at the end but was still smiling.

Willow was smiling even more when Tara answered, "too bad I'm driving or I could help out with that b-babbling you know."

Tara nodded, "so definitely." She took a few seconds to instruct the redhead to get her study materials from her backpack in the back seat and within minutes Willow had pulled the review questions for a test in Invertebrate Biology and was moving through them asking Tara's response. If the blonde got one right Willow ensured her that she had just earned a kiss. A wrong answer sent the redhead searching through the textbook for the section covering the test question and when she found it she informed Tara that she had just earned a kiss.

After a few hours Tara flirted, "it's going to t-take a long time to pay off all these kisses, Willow."

Willow just smiled back, "I've got plenty of time." Noting that Tara had turned up the long driveway to the JSI Ranch she packed away the study materials for the time being and watched out the window. She concluded that the ranch must have been huge when she realized that she still couldn't see the house even though they had been driving about a mile from turning off the main road. Finally after about 5 miles the house came into view and both girls let out large breaths or exclamations. "As Xander would say, 'shedionkle,'" Willow exclaimed.

"I agree with Xander," Tara joked as she pulled the car into a circular driveway to the side of the ranch house. She glanced around but couldn't see the stables from the house and assumed they must be behind the large building. As soon as Scooby got out of the car she began to run around rolling in the high grass and sniffing the ground. As she looked up at Willow and Tara with her face covered with grass clippings and hayseed both girls laughed.

After a moment a man came out of the house and down the porch stairs. "You must be Tara Maclay? I'm Cornelius Allen," he introduced himself as he extended his hand toward the blonde.

Tara extended her own as she told the owner, "yes sir. I'm Tara Maclay. This is m-my friend Willow Rosenberg." Once everyone had shaken hands and greeted each other she got right to business: "we need to w-w-wash up but then I'd like to s-s-see the horse sir."

Since his daughter had followed him out onto the large porch he called her over to show the girls to a restroom and offer them a drink. Five minutes later the witches stood on the porch as the owner pulled up in a truck. He leaned out the window calling, "it's a good ways so we can drive down to the stable." He added, "your dog can come down to the stable; the horses are all used to ours."

After Willow let Scooby into the bed of the pickup both girls climbed into the cab for the drive down to the stable. Willow estimated that it was about ¾ miles and wondered how hard a walk that would have been for Tara. They hadn't really talked that much about her disability or her rehab. When they had slept together two nights ago after viewing and then discussing the art exhibit, she had noticed that the blonde seemed to have disturbing dreams but she hadn't discussed them. She had just attempted to hold the girl in her arms and this seemed relatively comforting to her. She didn't know if the nightmares were more "demon" nightmares or if they had to do with the accident and recovery. Michelle had made a few comments that endeared her to the redhead with her concern for Tara but had also made Willow wonder just how hard the recovery had been.

Once the foursome had gotten out of the truck and was walking into the barn a teenage girl came out of the stable. "She's about the same daddy," the girl informed her father before turning to smile at the two witches.

"Tara Maclay and Willow Rosenberg, this is my daughter Joy. Joy this is Tara and Willow," he introduced and another round of handshakes began.

"Who's the expert?" Joy asked as she led them into the stable after petting Scooby on the head.

The horse was lying down on her side with her leg obviously swollen. Willow suspected that the bone was broken but that wasn't what made her gasp. She gasped, quickly placing her hand over her mouth before looking to Tara and noting that the other girl looked like she was about to swoon. The redhead reached out her hand to steady the larger girl as both girls continued to stare at the injured horse. It was amazing truly; this horse could have been Chestnut's twin sister if horses had twins. The size, coloring, proportion, everything was the same. Willow wondered if even the location of the horse's injury were the same and realized that she didn't even know which of Chestnut's legs had been broken. Nor did she know if Tara knew.

Tara began turning away from the horse as if she meant to exit the stable as the owners looked at her with shock and confusion. Willow turned to follow after the blonde before quickly turning back to stall, "please give us a minute?"

Tara stood just at the doorway to the stable looking over the field with tears glistening in her eyes. Willow faced the girl running her hands gently up and down the blonde's arms. "She-she- she…," Tara stuttered.

"I know," Willow whispered, "she looks just like her." Tara gulped and nodded as tears began to roll down her face. After waiting a few minutes Willow touched her fingertip lightly to Tara's chin and looked directly into her gleaming eyes. "We can do whatever you want. If you want to leave then I'm with you and if you want to stay and heal her, then I'll never leave you my baby."

Tara allowed the redhead to wrap her in her arms as she wondered what does she mean she'll never leave me? Never-never? Or just never-here-never? Either way she felt comforted by Willow's presence. She realized that even if this woman had no magical powers she would still infuse Tara with strength just by virtue of her support. She pulled back to nod and whispered, "let's see if we can save this one."

They re-entered the stable to find Joy kneeling by the horse with her father standing behind her. "I'm s-s-sorry," Tara stuttered as she leaned her cane against the wall of the stable and allowed Willow to help her get down on her knees by the horse. Willow joined her after a few seconds but stayed farther from the horse. The blonde witch gently petted the horse and allowed her to get used to her smell and presence. As she did she asked, "what's her name?"

"Golden," Joy answered, also petting the injured animal that seemed to lean her head into the girl's hand. She was obviously much and well loved by the teenager.

After a few minutes Tara suggested, "can you t-t-two give us a f-few minutes with her?"

Cornelius nodded as he turned to go outside but Joy asked desperately, "please can I stay with her? She might be more comfortable if I'm here."

Both witches looked concerned with the girl's offer and her concern. They looked to each other and then to the teenager who pleaded with her eyes. Finally Tara turned to Cornelius: "can we talk to Joy alone for a minute?" As he left she addressed the girl, "Joy, I c-can understand why you want to stay with Golden. I l-l-lost my horse a few y-years ago." She took a deep breath as she whispered quietly, "I would have given anything to be with her." Willow heard and didn't know if the blonde witch meant that she would have liked to be with Chestnut to comfort or heal her or that at the time she wanted to die with her horse. "Y-you can stay but we'll need you out of the way and …" she trailed off as she looked to Willow for help.

Willow jumped in as she explained, "Tara does some energy work with the animal. It's probably best if you don't talk about it very much, ok?" She waited for Joy to nod her agreement even through the look of confusion on her face. As soon as she did she turned back toward Tara and waited for the blonde to begin.

Tara took some centering breaths. Fortunately she had tried to get extra rest after her stressful day on Sunday and had taken Scooby to the park and swimming in the creek just yesterday. She briefly wondered if Willow had been keeping up with her energy work. Maybe we can start to work on it together she thought before putting those thoughts out of her mind. Placing her hands over the horse's injury she used her magical powers to ascertain the extent of the injury. The heat coming from the swelling directed her to the exact site and the best way to proceed. As often happened she still thought of her mother and grandmother as much older and more powerful than she would ever be. She would have been genuinely surprised to realize that she now had more healing ability than either woman had ever achieved in her lifetime. Closing her eyes she called to these women to guide her:

Ancestors and loved ones bless me with healing power. I call on my power as Becky's daughter and Teresa's granddaughter. Let me ease this animal's pain. Let me return my gift to the universe. Let me honor the Goddess with my work. All is as it should be

Completing her prayer she began the Latin incantation and felt her healing energy flowing from her palms toward the horse. She heard a gasp from Joy but did not allow herself to become distracted from her work. Having forgotten about Willow momentarily she was surprised to feel the redhead's hands touching her lower back. The other witch obviously needed to feel bare skin to be able to share her power and was working her fingertips gently under the loose material of Tara's shirt.

As she felt her hands make full contact with Tara's skin Willow could feel the familiar hum coming from the blonde's skin. Even though she directed her healing in a specific direction her healing energy emanated from every area of her body and Willow felt herself bathed in the warmth of Tara's healing energy. The redheaded witch took the moment to appreciate Tara's energy as she began to direct her own.

When she and Tara had first learned of her ability to amplify for the healer they had no idea how to harness or control Willow's power. It was obvious that her power was much greater than Tara's but it was also apparent that she would need to learn how to lend that power to her lover effectively. At first she had just made a connection with the blonde and allowed her magic to flow but as they worked with the gifts they had made some discoveries. Her ability to help Tara was greater when she allowed the energy to flow in a circuit. The longer that she was able to control the circuit the more powerful the additional energy would become.

When Willow had helped the blonde with the injured dog, she had used the old method of just allowing her energy to flow into Tara but this time she could tell that she would be needed more than that method would allow. Although Tara didn't need to do anything to allow this energy exchange to work, she would certainly notice the flow. The redhead worried momentarily that Tara would be upset when she realized that Willow was going to pull energy from her but she hadn't had time to discuss it with the other witch. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to start doing some magics together before this need came up? Oh well, too late now the redhead told herself.

Closing her eyes she softly began her incantation. It was a simple prayer, more a focusing mantra than anything else, and she felt a twinge of deep sadness as she remembered creating her mantra with her lover and the many times she had used it with her. Putting those thoughts aside, she embraced her energy and began sending it into Tara. At the same time she began pulling Tara's energy from the girl. She noticed a slight dimming of the light as Tara realized that Willow was pulling energy from her but then saw that the light was glowing more powerfully than before. The blonde witch apparently quickly realized that Willow was, in fact, working to recycle her energy. She was sending strength into the witch as she pulled the used essence from her and into the natural surroundings. As long as she continued to refresh both of them in this way, they could work long and hard on healing this animal that needed it so badly.

Willow greatly enjoyed amplifying for the blonde witch. In a way she felt that she was learning as much from the exchange of energy as she did from spending other time with her. While staying focused on the horse, Willow could feel that Tara was opening her energy channels more freely toward the redhead as the day wore on. It was as if both women were learning about each other through this exchange. Neither could hide or tell falsehoods because of the intimacy of their connection so everything that traveled through the communication was Truth with a capital T. As Tara opened herself up more and more to her casting partner Willow was shocked to realize the level of power the blonde witch possessed. Her own casting partner of nearly four years had never achieved this level of power. The redhead wondered momentarily where her partner had found such power and a way to harness it but put the thought out of her mind as she concentrated on the magic once again.

Time seemed to blend and fade together so that neither girl was aware of the passing of the day. It had been late afternoon when they arrived and the darkness had now fallen fully over the farm as Tara retracted her hands to cease her magical work. Willow simultaneously ceased her energy work too. Both girls looked over to Joy who had fallen asleep on a pile of hay. Softly Tara touched the horse's leg and told Willow, "I think she's b-b-better." She felt absolutely exhausted and her leg was throbbing. She knew without asking that Willow could sense her condition.

Willow quietly stood up and offered Tara her hand. As the blonde witch took it she gently helped her to her feet and handed her the cane, which had been leaning on the wall of the stable. After making sure that the witch was steady she walked over to gently rouse Joy: "Joy? We're done for the day."

The girl opened her eyes quickly and rubbed them before looking at both girls and then rushing over to the horse. She turned to look at Tara asking, "is she better? Will she be ok?"

Tara leaned against the wall of the stable as she explained, "we'll need to keep w-w-working with her for a few d-d-days." Taking a deep breath she felt like she was just too tired to go on. She started to ask, "how d-do w-w-we…" and was happy when Willow finished for her: "how do we get back to the house?"

"Oh," Joy answered quickly, "I'll drive you up. We can all eat and then I'm coming back down here to sleep." As they moved slowly toward her truck she confirmed that the girls were staying at the ranch house.

Less than an hour later Willow sat on the bed in their room with Scooby while Tara took her turn in the shower. Apparently their hosts had assumed that the two girls were a couple as they had taken their bags up to the guestroom and placed bowls for Scooby in it as well. The redhead now reclined on the queen size bed with a quilt and wondered if she should have stopped Scooby from getting on the beautiful piece. All three girls had taken a quick dinner in the kitchen before Joy returned to the stable. Tara had been pleasantly surprised that the cook had made vegetarian lasagna so she had something to eat. Upon finding out that the blonde didn't eat meat the cook had promised to keep her fed throughout her visit.

Willow heard the water turn off in the shower and watched the door expectantly. Tara had insisted that the redhead take the first turn and Willow had agreed, both to accept her generosity and because she felt that Tara needed a few minutes of rest. She would have liked to stay with the blonde in the bathroom to make sure that she was ok but knew that the offer would have been inappropriate at this time. Instead she sat quietly listening for any sign of Tara needing help.

After a few minutes Tara emerged from the bathroom brushing her hair. She wore pajamas with fruits and vegetables all over them. Willow was amused since she had never seen "her Tara" in such an ensemble. Tara had always worn boxer shorts and t-shirts and later nothing at all to bed. Even though these two women had slept together twice, it had been unplanned each time so the blonde had fallen asleep in her clothes or in clothes she had borrowed from Willow. A slight blush covered Willow's cheeks as she wondered if she should have dressed Tara in pajamas after the christening rather than leaving her naked in the bed. Entranced watching the blonde, Willow asked, "can I do that?"

Tara looked up startled as if she had not remembered that Willow was in the room. She moved slowly toward the bed and sat in front of the redhead handing her the brush. "I'd love that," she reassured her.

The redhead slowly began brushing Tara's hair. It was slightly longer than her lover's hair had been but had the same golden highlights, allowing the sunlight or in this case, lamp light to glint off it. Willow rested the back of one hand on Tara's neck to hold the hair and brush off of her skin as she gently ran the brush through the strands. With the first few motions she heard and felt the blonde's low purr of appreciation. After a few minutes she whispered, "are you ok they put us in one room? I could go ask for another room if you'd be more comfortable." She didn't expect Tara to object but also didn't want the blonde to feel obligated just because she was too shy to correct their hosts. When Tara didn't reply at first Willow thought she was just thinking of how to answer but after a few more seconds she prodded, "Tara? Baby?" Leaning forward she looked at Tara's face and saw that the blonde was deeply asleep.

Gently Willow moved her under the covers and rested her head on the pillow before taking Scooby out for her nightly walk and then returning to enfold Tara in her arms. Exhausted herself her last semi-coherent thought was something about how perfect this feeling was and how she never wanted it to end.

Willow woke to a feeling of complete disorientation. She had no idea where or when she was. She looked around trying in vain to recognize the room. It wasn't her room at home or in the dorm. It wasn't her room at Buffy's house, the room that she had shared with Tara after Buffy and Joyce had both died. It wasn't even her hotel room. Finally it slowly came back. She was with Tara at a ranch where they were working with an injured horse. She looked around the room and noted the sunlight coming strongly in through the window. Of course Tara had woken before her and left the room; she always did. No, that wasn't right. Her Tara always did. She didn't know if this was usual for this woman or not. I've got to learn that they are different people, she reminded herself.

Looking to the bedside table for the time she noted it at 9:30 but was more shocked by what sat by the clock. A small plate sat by the clock with a shiny green apple on it. It was as if all the breath had been sucked out of her lungs. Staring at the apple her dream came rushing back and just then she realized that she was soaked in a cold sweat.

Her mind spun as she tried to understand the dream. What did it mean? Was it a communication or just her fears? Did it mean anything?

Tara moved carefully up the stairs to avoid spilling either cup of coffee. She had, of course, been awake for hours. In the short time she had known Willow, it was apparent that the girl would usually sleep much longer than she would. Of course it was doubtful that the redhead intentionally subsisted on short sleep hours. Tara had learned to sleep few hours in high school to keep up with everything she needed to do and had maintained the habit. While the chef was making her a fresh vegetable omelet, she had spotted the bowl of fresh fruit on the table. Her moment of inspiration came not only from hearing Willow recount how her lover had frequently left fruit for her in the morning, but also just from the simple thought that Willow would like it. So while her omelet was being prepared, she had taken the apple to their room, set it on the nightstand, kissed the redhead on the forehead, and returned to the kitchen. Although Tara wanted to check on the injured horse, she knew that that visit may take a while and was returning to the room to gently wake the other girl before going.

Quietly she turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Seeing Willow on the edge of the bed, holding the apple, at first she thought that she had just awoken and picked it up. Gently Tara closed the door and moved toward the bed, expecting to see Willow take a bite or perhaps turn toward her to say good morning. Rather, the redhead continued staring at the piece of fruit. Tara set both mugs on the nightstand as she continued watching the girl. As she did, she noticed that Willow was covered in a sheen of sweat as if she had run a race or awoken from a bad dream, an experience Tara was all too familiar with.

Mirroring a motion Willow had used with her in recent times, Tara gingerly kneeled in front of the redhead. Softly she took Willow's hands in her own and began stroking the back of her hand with her thumbs. Willow?" she asked.

Willow finally broke her stare, her eyes resting unfocused on the blue ones in front of her. "You… You left me this?" she asked.

Tara glanced at the apple before returning her attention to Willow's eyes. "Y-y-yes," she stuttered, "I thought you'd l-like it." She trailed off, unsure how this gesture could have gone wrong. As she stilled the motion of her thumbs she realized that the redhead was shaking. Softly she climbed onto the bed behind the smaller girl and wrapped her arms around her. She could sense Willow's exhausted emotions, chief among them confusion, arousal, and grief. Finally she asked, "did you have a d-dream?"

Again the redhead appeared shocked to hear Tara speak. Slowly she turned to face her. As if realizing the fact for the first time she asked, "you're not her?"

"I'm not her?" Tara echoed. She suspected that she knew what Willow was asking, what she had somehow realized but she didn't want to make Willow's conclusions for her; she wanted the smaller girl to work through this conclusion on her own.

"You're not her are you? Not my Tara?" Willow clarified. It wasn't so much that she thought this woman could tell her; but she needed to work through this understanding.

I've been yours since that kiss four years ago, Tara thought, but what she said was, "No sweetie. I'm not the woman who was your lover. I'm not the woman you've spent days and nights with. Not the woman you fought demons with nor the one you probably planned your life w- with." A part of her felt heart broken. If Willow realized that she was not the woman she had loved, the spell would be broken. She would leave to return to her world and her friends and her life. But a tiny part of her brain cheered: she knew and had known since Willow's arrival and emotional disclosure about her lover's death that she could never be happy with Willow as long as the girl thought she was the same as the woman she had loved. Only when Willow accepted that they were separate individuals could their relationship truly begin. And if that never happened, how could she ever trust Willow's feelings for her?

"Would she be mad that I'm not grieving? That I came to be with you?" Willow nearly stumbled over the words. It was all so sudden for her. Yesterday she was overjoyed to be with Tara. She reveled in the strength of their connection. With few exceptions, she had never questioned the wisdom of her plan: she would come here, find another Tara, make her fall in love with her, and take her home. The transition would be seamless and she would keep her lover safe forever. She had had small epiphanies in which she realized that this woman was not the one she had known and loved, moments when it hit her, but this was bigger. Suddenly she didn't know what was happening. Would Tara fall in love with her? If she was that different from the other Tara, would she love Willow at all? And would Willow love her? Did she already? Was it even possible not to love her?

Willow fixed her girlfriend with a knowing look as she realized that this woman's answer, or potential answer, was as close as she would ever come to knowing what her Tara might think or feel. "Would you?" she smiled.

As she heard Willow's simple, and not so simple, question Tara understood it and the redhead's motivation completely. While the redhead was starting to understand and acknowledge how different the two Taras were, she also acknowledged that this Tara's opinion and feeling was the closest she could get to asking her former lover. Tentatively she explained, "I would be h- honored to think that you l-loved me so much that you came to find another one. That you would cross dimensions and come looking for me without knowing who I might be or who I might be with -- it would really say how much you had loved me."

As the blonde spoke tears rolled from Willow's eyes. With Tara's speech she had at first thought that Tara was speaking for her counterpart but somewhere in the center of the answer, her understanding became blurred. It became apparent, or at least probable, to the redhead that Tara was speaking for herself as well as for the other Tara. Desperately Willow leaned forward, kissing the blonde's soft lips three times as she clung to the back of her neck.

Tara reluctantly pulled away from the contact to lean their foreheads together. Mustering all her courage she asked, "who are you k-kissing Willow?"

Willow smiled at her brilliant and insightful girlfriend as she explained, "the first one was for her but the other two were for you." Barely had she finished speaking when she felt Tara's lips on hers once again. This time the blonde traced her tongue along Willow's lips, urging them open and sweeping her tongue inside. Mirroring Tara's motion of leaning their foreheads together Willow lightened the mood as she confessed: "I almost didn't come because I thought you already had a girlfriend."

Willow giggled as she explained, "only once she answered the phone. Before that, I thought you were with Elizabeth."

Tara's response was a half-laugh/half-snort: "did your Tara ever have taste that b-bad?"

Willow laughed in response to Tara's catty comment: "no but that Elizabeth had taste that good."

"Here, drink some cold coffee," Tara indicated lifting both mugs. "So did this one but besides a big 'no thank you,' who would date a woman who hits on her sister's girlfriend?"

Willow scowled as she tasted her drink. "Hey," she agreed, "I didn't even think of that. That jerk. It was bad enough when she hit on Tara when we were together, but hitting on Michelle's girlfriend - that's too creepy."

Although both girls knew this was far from the conclusion of this discussion, they were ready to move on for now. "I was going to g-go check on Golden. Do you w-want to come?" the blonde asked.

Willow glanced at the clock. "Can I grab a quick shower? I'm kind of … yuck," she answered.

"I let her out before I ate," Tara explained, "she's probably chasing rabbits in a pasture and rolling in horse poop. It's a favorite pastime of hers on any farm."

A short time later both girls were driving down to the stable. Willow had reassured the blonde that most days her preference was to just eat fruit in the morning, saving anything heavier for after she had been up a few hours. As they pulled up Joy came running from the barn. At first both witches worried that something was terribly wrong but they quickly deduced that just the opposite was true. Joy was speaking so quickly that neither girl could distinguish much of what she was saying. Tara was pretty sure that she identified the word miracle and Willow knew she heard "up walking."

"O-o-ok Joy," Tara told the teenager as she grasped her hands, "we're coming to check on her." Willow noted again how badly the blonde was limping. Assuming as she had before that Tara's limp was directly related to her tiring herself physically or with magic she thought, we need to do a ritual soon to refresh. Before she could follow the other two girls into the barn she looked up to see Scooby bounding toward her. "Stop right there, poopy one!" she thought at the dog who stopped immediately but looked dejected as if her feelings were hurt. For a few seconds the redhead allowed Scooby's feelings to communicate before smiling at the dog and waving her hand for her to go and have some fun.

When she entered the barn she was happy to see Golden standing. Tara was kneeling awkwardly next to her, apparently assessing the injury. Even before she walked into the stable, Willow knew that her girlfriend had not begun casting yet. She wondered how distant they could be and still sense each other's magic. Stepping into the stall she heard Tara say, "this is much b- better. We need to do some more w-work with her today and tomorrow."

Seeing that the teenager was about to again question them Willow asked, "Joy can you watch from the door so that we not interrupted?"

"Oh yeah," Joy eagerly agreed, "I'll do that." She yelled from the doorway: "ok. Coast's clear!"

Both witches smiled at each other as Willow kneeled by Tara. Willow looked at the blonde for a moment before trying something she was very curious about. Only recently and sporadically had she and her Tara been able to talk mentally, without speaking audibly. While Tara could hear Willow consistently, Willow could rarely hear her lover. Since she had noted that this woman appeared to be a more powerful witch, she wondered if she would be able to communicate like this. Looking into Tara's eyes she told her without speaking, "we should do a ritual later to recharge our energy." As she finished she watched expectantly for Tara's response. If the blonde wasn't able to respond, Willow knew she would hear a low buzzing sound but nothing else.

She didn't have to wonder for long as she heard Tara's answer clearly although the blonde didn't move her lips: "let's go after lunch. The cook told me about a creek near the farm house."

This time Willow spoke out loud: "great!" She knew that Tara could tell that she meant both the idea of the creek and that their powerful connection allowed their special communication.

Tara was also thrilled with this new discovery. She had tried communicating with all the witches in her family and even with Eliza who emitted a low level of baseline magical energy but none of them had ever heard her. "C-c-can you work like l-last night? It's more powerful," she requested.

Willow started nodding immediately: "of course. I just didn't want to scare you at the hospital."

"Right," Tara agreed as she thought about it. She knew the redhead had made a wise choice. Willow's sudden appearance and magical help had shocked her enough; if Willow had tried to work as she had last night, the blonde would have been very uncomfortable or even scared. Even with their closeness, she had been trepidatious initially yesterday when she first felt Willow pulling energy from her. Fortunately after a few minutes she had become used to it, noticing how much longer she could work. In fact, she was pretty sure she could aid in that cycle and make the connection even more powerful.

After a brief kiss the two girls again began working on the injured horse. Willow was surprised at first by the changes Tara was making with their energy exchange. It was as if she was trying a technique, assessing it, and moving on to another. A big fan of the scientific process, Willow kept her magics constant but mentally noted ways that they could work even more powerfully.

Tara concentrated her healing energies on the horse even as she varied her methods. Eventually she settled on one method hoping that is was efficient for Willow also. As she did so, she began to notice a more familiar, albeit indirectly familiar, sensation. She subtly glanced at the smaller girl and concluded that Willow felt it too. The redhead was covered in a light sweat and her eyes were unfocused. Her breathing was uneven and Tara thought that she might be biting her lip. What was most bizarre for the blonde witch was not the intense eroticism of their connection, but just how familiar it seemed.

Oh Goddess! Willow thought, I've got to stop that. I mean she's … and I'm … and we hardly know each other…really. She attempted to concentrate her energies only on giving Tara energy to heal the horse but was having a hard time controlling her other reactions. She didn't even have to look at Tara to see that the feeling was mutual. It was hard to determine just how upset the blonde witch might be and Willow hoped that she could at least tell that the redhead was not trying to intensify the experience.

As Tara ceased casting she felt Willow pulling her hands away. She tried to control her breathing as she turned to look at the redhead. "Well… that… was…," she started.

"Uh… yes… very…," Willow agreed. "I'm sor…," she started but was silenced by Tara's lips pressed against hers as the blonde pushed her back onto the hay and laid her body on top of the smaller girl. Both girls continued breathing heavily as their tongues twisted and turned, caressing each other. Willow moaned quietly as she felt Tara's leg pressing between hers. As the two girls slowly broke apart Willow mumbled, "or not sorry."

Tara merely gave the redhead her lop-sided smile as she turned back to the horse. After determining that she was doing better both girls started toward the door of the stable. Not surprisingly, they found Joy sound asleep. "Great watchdog huh?" Willow indicated.

Tara giggled but silently sent back the thought, "let's let her sleep." She took Willow's hand and both girls enjoyed the lingering energy, both magical and sensual as they called Scooby and drove back to the farmhouse.

Their visit to the kitchen left them well fed and they had the chance to visit with the cook for a little while. Willow knew very little about cooking but Tara had an in depth conversation focusing on using herbs in cooking. Although the blonde wanted to discuss growing the herbs also, the cook reluctantly explained that she only harvested the treasures; someone else grew them.

A quick trip to their room allowed the girls to pack their backpacks with materials for the ritual and other necessities. "Did you bring s-something to swim in?" Tara asked.

Willow responded cheekily: "well, there's my birthday suit." She waited to see the shocked look that crossed Tara's face just before the blonde gulped. Giggling the redhead explained, "yeah, I brought a swim suit. I'll put it on before we go." On the way to the bathroom to change she stopped to kiss the blonde and was surprised by the passion Tara returned in the embrace.

As they were walking to the car Willow asked, "not to bring up… no. Never mind."

Having pressed the smaller woman against the car Tara pushed: "Willow, this relationship is complicated enough without our making it harder by n-not being honest about what we want."

We're in a relationship?! Willow's mind shouted and questioned as she looked duly admonished. "You're right," she agreed, "I was just going to ask and not that it's not ok or but well and driving is fine and not that I don't prefer and maybe it's a dumb idea or question and I wouldn't have asked years…"

Tara silenced her girlfriend in the best way she had yet discovered. "Sweetie, I'm not following this l-lovely Willow-babble."

Willow gulped and asked quickly, "do you ride any more? I mean horses. I mean any horses. I mean…" She looked away feeling stupid for bringing up such a sensitive and painful subject.

Tara took a step backwards. "I … No." She turned and opened the back door, whistling for Scooby who came and jumped on the blanket in the backseat. She opened her car door before looking at Willow. The girl looked mortified that she had upset Tara. Smiling Tara held out her keys. "Do you w-want to drive? Have you ever driven a Volvo?"

Willow looked at the keys dangling from Tara's hand. She was still trying to assess how upset the blonde might be over her insensitive question. "I drove Eliza's once."

Tara laughed as she got in the car and waved Willow to get in the passenger side. "I don't think t-t-this Eliza would let anyone drive her car."

Feeling how much lighter the mood was Willow finally relaxed, explaining, "well, she wanted to make out with Michelle in the back seat."

Tara pulled to a stop a short distance from the visible creek. "Ok, that part sounds b- believable." Before she could open the car door she felt Willow's hand on hers.

Tara leaned over and kissed the redhead on the cheek. "Let's do our ritual and then we c-can swim. Everything else gets washed away," she suggested.

Scooby immediately bounded away, flushing birds form the underbrush as she went. Since the blonde was still leaning heavily on her cane, Willow quickly caught up to her and took the blanket from under her arm. As she spread the blanket in the spot Tara indicated she asked, "do we need to tell Scooby to leave us alone? Because I can do that."

Tara smiled as she placed the crystals at the edges of the blanket. "She knows not to speak or come near the b-blanket during a ritual." Seeing Willow's look of disappointment she added, "but I would l-like to see you speak with her sometime."

Both girls sat down side-by-side and Tara waited for Willow to begin. Although they had not discussed what type of ritual they would share or their roles, Tara hoped that the redhead would take the lead. She was looking forward to practicing with this powerful woman and was curious to see which spell she would begin. Tara heard Willow humming quietly before whispering, "begin." Tara briefly wondered why the girl used English rather than Latin but quickly discarded her wondering.

Willow cast the spell and felt a calmness fall over both women. She had intentionally used a ritual technique which allowed full interaction with the natural elements while harnessing the energy from the magnetic lines running around and through their site. Her reliance on English was a habit and she had wondered if she should explain it but decided to just start the ritual. As the energy flowed, she observed that like her Tara, this woman apparently had a gift for sensing especially powerful sites of magical energy. Willow had never felt particularly adept at doing so, although ironically enough, she could sense either woman's affinity for a location.

Both women allowed conscious thought to recede as they absorbed the energizing power of the elements and forced their own used energy into the earth.

After about an hour the girls gradually began to move about. Tara looked to Willow before waving her hand and whispering, "finis." As she did so, both witches exhaled slowly and Scooby bounded onto the blanket, shaking her entire body and spraying both girls with creek water. Tara laughed before standing up. "Let's join her," she suggested as she fluidly stripped off her top.

Willow was entranced as the blonde so casually exposed her tanned upper body. A small bikini top left little to the imagination and the redhead gulped as she waited for Tara to strip off her bottoms. She had not noticed that the girl wore hospital scrubs from the waist down.

Feeling refreshed enough to not need her cane, Tara left it sitting on the blanket as she started toward the water. "Last one in…," she teased since Willow had not yet removed her shorts and top. Moments later the blonde and Scooby splashed into the water.

Willow stood awkwardly still thinking about Tara's shoulders and breasts. She felt as if she was having trouble thinking clearly. She had noticed that Tara had left her cane indicating that she could cope without the aid for short distances or when particularly refreshed. She surmised that the blonde must be wearing the light-weight leg coverings to ensure that Willow couldn't see her scars and felt momentarily saddened to think that Tara didn't trust her enough to allow her to see but she knew that all she could do was give her time. After quickly stripping her clothes she ran for the bank, jumping in and splashing both Tara and Scooby.

Tara watched the redhead undressing with very personal interest. Although Willow had undressed her the night of their first kiss, as well as seeing her alternate who knew how many times, she had only seen Willow's body in her dreams and artwork. A twinge of guilt flashed through her mind as she realized what pleasure she took in the sight of the smaller girl in her one- piece swimsuit while she wore hospital scrubs. That guilt left quickly as Willow swam quickly over to the blonde who was standing in chest-deep cool water. Tara wrapped her arms around the redhead's body and pulled her close.

What started as a gentle kiss quickly turned passionate and breathless. The sexual energy had built up between both women throughout their healing session with the horse and then the shared ritual to refresh their magical powers. While the ritual was not directly sexual, Tara was quickly learning what Willow had known for years: that any sharing of their connection, their essence, would be exciting on every level. Tara's hands stroked Willow's back as she thrust her tongue into the smaller girl's mouth. Feeling Willow sucking on the tip of her tongue, the blonde moaned quietly and enjoyed the tension of Willow's hands wrapped in her hair.

Willow was breathing heavily and knew that her excitement was only building. She had been here so many times before, and yet had never been quite here. Her heart was beating within her chest and she could feel and taste Tara's energy in her mouth and on her hands. Passionately she pressed her tongue back into the blonde's mouth and was rewarded as Tara began sucking on it. After a few moments of this both women were feeling overpowered and overheated. Willow pulled her lips away and leaned her forehead against the blonde's. Gently she placed a few nipping kisses on Tara's lips and heard the blonde giggle. Soon Scooby swam near and started pawing at Tara's hand and both girls started laughing. Willow looked down, noting that Tara held a stick which apparently both she and the dog had planned on her throwing. "I should throw this b-before she knocks us both over," Tara panted.

As Tara turned away to throw the stick Willow's face lit up in a sneaky grin. Tara threw the stick and shouted for Scooby to get it just as she felt Willow's hands on her stomach. At first she thought that the redhead just wanted to pull her close for another kiss but she soon realized that that was the furthest thought from Willow's mind. Before Tara could push back she found herself upended and dunked under the water. She emerged with water streaming down her face and off of the ends of her hair, dark blonde now, laughing and saw Willow also laughing. "Sorry?" Willow lamely apologized.

Tara laughed at the smaller girl's playfulness and lame apology: "no you're not," she argued, "but you know w-what they say?"

"Payback's a bitch," Tara corrected as she launched her body at her opponent, quickly pulling her under the water.

Willow was shocked at Tara's move as she felt herself pushed under the water. She got water in her eyes but quickly closed them as she attempted to keep a hold on the blonde so they would both be under. Suddenly she felt Scooby throw herself into the mix, pawing at both girls. Willow pulled away from Tara and the dog and stood to watch her. Tara stood slowly and both girls held up their hands. "Truce?" Willow offered.

Just as she spoke Willow launched her body at the taller girl one more time, knocking her under water again. "Never believe someone who says truce with one hand behind her back," Willow teased, "it means her fingers are crossed." Suddenly she realized that Tara was bent over clutching at her leg. Her mouth was shut in a grimace of pain.

Willow quickly swam over asking, "baby? Did I hurt you? Are you ok? Oh Goddess. I don't know what to … I can go get the car… I'll take you to a hospital in town or…" she was cut off as she felt two handfuls of creek silt dropping onto her head and pouring over her face.

Tara laughed loudly at the look of shock and disgust on the redhead's face as she explained, "see what I m-meant about payback?" The two girls swam for a few more minutes before deciding to get out and dry off.

Back on the blanket they pulled some snack food from their packs and shared what each had. Snuggling together they lay back on the blanket watching the clouds and enjoying the warm weather. "I like this," Willow whispered.

"All of it," Willow tried to explain, "I like being with you and spending time with you and talking or not talking. I want to know so many things about you and it's … ok I'm sounding kind of like a doofus at the minute but I hope it makes sense."

Tara leaned up on one elbow as she answered, "I like it too." She softly kissed the redhead. "I know we have our d-dinner date next week but also … um… do you want to come to Michelle's birthday party w-with me?"

Willow giggled and nodded answering, "you're asking me on a second date next week. So I may get to see you more than once a week? Gee let me think about it. I mean I have such a smashing social schedule what with knowing six people in this dimension and three of them will be at the party. Yes."

Tara pouted playfully: "I'm busy with school and work and everything. I want to see you more often t-too you know."

Tara giggled as she told the redhead, "ok. But you may want to back out of the party."

A confused look crossed the redhead's face as she asked, "but isn't it late? Wasn't her birthday last week? Why would I want to back out of it? You'll be there right?"

"What? A costume party? Who has a costume party for their birthday?" Willow gasped.

"Michelle does," Tara answered. "It s-s-started kind of funny. One year my b-brother came to her p-party. He got c-confused by the invitation and thought it was a costume party so he showed up dressed like Elvis. Well he was r-really embarrassed so Chelle, Eliza, and I all went and put on costumes. Ever s-s-since then, it's been a tradition."

Willow smiled as Tara told her story. "Ok so a fun costume party. What kind of costume?"

Tara shrugged her shoulders as she told her girlfriend, "it's good to keep it a secret. There are p-prizes and pictures and everything. A lot of her runner friends dress pretty sexy. I think they see it as an opportunity to wear very f-few clothes and show off."

"Hey," Willow reacted, "no semi-naked nubile runners hitting on you. I don't like that part of the story at all." Willow nuzzled her nose into Tara's neck as she pouted, "they had their chances. Too late now."

Tara giggled at Willow's childishness. Who knew the redhead could be so jealous of women she had never met? She knew that Tara had dated women before her and she had to know that Willow meant everything to her? Didn't she? Did she have any idea? Tara wondered for a minute if Willow had any idea how long the blonde witch had waited for this woman to return to her. Shaking the idea off, she sat up and reached into her backpack.

Willow watched Tara's movement curiously. She had no idea what the blonde had planned and it was strange that she was moving at all. They had been snuggling so well and she was really enjoying it. What was Tara doing? As she watched the blonde pulled two drawing pads from her backpack. Looking at the covers of the books but not at Willow, Tara explained, "I thought this m-might be a g-good time to show you …" She got silent for a few seconds trying to figure out what to say.

Willow lifted the other girl's chin and looked deeply into her eyes. "What is it Tare?"

Tara held out the two books: "these are the b-best and the w-worst but there are more. L-l- lots more." Willow took the drawing pads from the blonde simultaneously intrigued and confused about the presentation. The best and worst of what? What is this? Her drawings right? Well great. I love Tara-art. She carefully opened the first book and was shocked to see her own face looking right back at her.

Page by page Willow examined the first book. Her shock grew with each drawing. Every one was of her. Many pages had multiple drawings on them, in a sort of montage. The drawings ranged from innocent and casual to extremely erotic. There were drawings of her studying, talking on the phone, sleeping, eating, drinking coffee, and making love. No one else appeared in any of the pictures and she didn't know if Tara never saw the other people in the pictures or just didn't include them in her representations.

Many of the drawings she recognized as coming from a specific day or experience. Her wardrobe, or in some cases lack thereof, was absolutely accurate. She had never before known the panic in her eyes as she tried to figure out what to wear to see Buffy when Joyce had died. As she looked at the background of the drawings she recognized Buffy's house, the Bronze, Spike's crypt, the Magic Box, and Joyce's room. While many of the pictures were erotic, depicting her in the throes of passion like the one at the exhibit, others showed her in "monster fighting" mode. Turning the final page she gasped. She stood in her and Tara's bedroom wearing a white shirt which was splattered with drops of blood and she had a panicked and pained expression on her face.

Willow pushed the book from her pointing at the last picture. "That…that…that…," was all she could get out.

Tara looked from the drawing back to Willow and back to the drawing. The redhead was very upset but Tara didn't know why. Many of the drawings showed images of her covered with some type of gore or the remains of a battle. Suddenly it dawned on her. That picture was from the last dream she had had. It was over three months ago and she had drawn it after waking up from a mid-morning nap. Making sure that Willow was watching her, she reached over and tore the page from the book before tearing it into pieces.

Willow didn't know what Tara was planning as she walked toward the stream. The blonde stood near the water holding the scraps of her drawing. Again ensuring that the redhead was watching she did a simple incantation and held the paper as it burned. When the flames neared her fingers, she dropped the remaining scrap into the creek before returning to the blanket. Gently she reached out her fingers and touched the back of Willow's hand. "I d-didn't know," she tried to explain.

Willow's eyes shined with unshed tears as she began to trace the pattern Tara's fingertips were making on her skin with her own fingers. "Can you hold me?" she whispered. Tara didn't answer verbally but opened her arms to enfold the smaller girl within them. As Willow curled up to cry, Tara held her and stroked her skin. Willow noticed that the blonde was not using her powers to try and assuage her pain and her tears flowed openly for a few minutes. After a few minutes she heard Tara singing. Her voice was beautiful and melodious and it was making the redhead feel better. She started to wonder if the witch might have healing power in her song as well as her touch. Finally Willow sat up again giving Tara a hug. Wanting to change the mood she reached out for the other book. "Ok, let's see…"

Again she gasped as she began looking at the drawings in the book. They were terrible. Not that the drawing was terrible. The content was terrible. She had never seen such dark representations. The pages virtually swirled with dark lines, clouds, storms. Dark rooms filled every page and bugs seemed to crawl from the very paper they graced. Monsters loomed in every shadow. As Willow examined the drawings with growing horror she realized something: while she had recognized every scene from the first book, none of this was familiar. Yes there were monsters and horrific scenes, but none of them were monsters she knew. Even the drawings of the Adam and the Gentlemen at the exhibit were familiar but these were not. Were these related to Tara's dreams of the other Tara's life? If so, why didn't Willow recognize the horror within?

This time the redhead understood the possible significance of the final page of the book. She braced herself for a shock and took a deep breath before turning the page. Even so, the page literally took her breath away. Unlike Adam whom Willow had seen only once, the redhead had seen this figure multiple times: at the magic box, at her penthouse, in the gas station, at the construction site, and most memorably as she pressed her fingers through Tara's skull at the multi-cultural fair. The drawing was absolutely realistic. It showed nothing more and nothing less than a better-than-average looking woman with curly blonde hair. She wore a silky dress and smiled a bright smile of endless white teeth as she sat on a bench with a carnival atmosphere in the background.

The picture had no fangs or horns. The image contained within displayed no magical powers or evil intent. Nonetheless, the tenor of the page was absolute evil and terror. This, the only page to hold a title, was labeled simply "Glory." As the redhead stared and stared at the page she tried to understand the technique. How had Tara captured the insanity and cruelty of this creature in a simple drawing?

Tara watched Willow with more than a little fear. How would she explain to the girl the insanity and darkness that had overcome her during that terrible period? Would Willow want to be with someone who was so obviously crazy? These drawings had poured forth during that period and during the extended period of nightmares that plagued her for months after. This entire sketchbook was so dark that Helen had not even considered displaying any of its work in the exhibit. It had been a dark time in the blonde's life. Suddenly she had fallen into darkness, feeling like she was completely lost all the time. Michelle and Eliza were always walking in to a room to find the witch sitting staring at nothing and cradling her hand tenderly with tears streaming down her face or frantically trying to brush non-existent bugs from her skin and clothes.

Her terror was so real and so persistent that rather than listening for nightmares and then coming in to hold their friend, eventually Chelle & Eliza had simply moved their mattress into Tara's room so they could be closer to her during her terror. After seeing a doctor for the intense pain in her hand and finding nothing wrong, the girls had decided to take Tara to see a psychiatrist when suddenly one day the darkness had lifted. Although she still had the nightmares, the darkness never returned to her waking hours like it had during that time.

Finally Willow looked up at the blonde with an impassive look on her face. Tara couldn't tell what she might be feeling. It might be fear or anger or confusion, certainly not warmth or love. Tara reached out for the redhead's hand and took it in hers to try to explain the drawings. Before she could open her mouth she heard Willow's quiet voice: "you dreamt this?" The quite statement held no recrimination or anger but compassion and definitely confusion.

Willow began shaking her head from side to side as she heard Tara's words. There was no way that this was happening. She knew that Tara had dreamt of their life together but she had no idea the connection between the two women was so strong. "Not dreamt?" she repeated dully.

Tara looked down at her hands feeling completely ashamed. Maybe I should have told her this earlier? she thought. "It w-w-wasn't so much d-d-reamt. I f-f-felt it." Desperately she began to try to explain it to the redhead: "I d-d-don't know what happened. I was f-f-fine and then one d-d-day…I got so lost." Willow's mouth had dropped completely open and Tara tried to reassure her the best she could: "b-b-but it n-never happens anymore. I mean it's over now and I'm f-f-fine…"

Finally Willow realized how upset Tara was. God I'm being an ass! she thought. She realized that Tara didn't know that Willow understood the art and the madness. Goddess, the blonde probably didn't understand it herself. She thought that she had gone crazy and was probably worried about Willow's reaction. Smoothly Willow raised her hands to cup Tara's cheeks in her palms. As she did, she felt the blonde start to calm down. She was taking more steady breaths and their connection was strong enough that Willow could feel the other girl's terror starting to recede. Gently she pressed her lips to Tara's in a comforting kiss. "It won't happen again," she quietly assured the girl.

Tara felt better from the contact with the redhead but still she worried. "We d-d-don't know that. It could come back any t-t-time. I don't know why…"

This time Willow cut the blonde off with her soft lips. "I do," she whispered cryptically.

Tara blinked her eyes and shook her head trying to understand what the other girl was saying: "What? You do what?"

"I know why it happened," Willow explained, "it won't happen again." As she saw that Tara didn't understand anything she was hearing Willow elaborated, "it happened because of her." She indicated the drawing: "it happened because of Glory."

Willow nodded her head sadly. "She was real. She's gone now." The redhead leaned back on the blanket and held her arms out. "I'll explain. Can I hold you while I do?" she asked.

Tara smiled her lop-sided smile again as she nestled into the smaller woman. She was finding that Willow's arms around her felt like home and belonging. She would always be safe with this woman. Willow took a breath before explaining. She had already decided to edit certain parts of the story. After all, it was bad enough for Tara to be afraid Willow would think she was crazy, did Willow really want Tara to think the same? "Glory was a hell-god. You made a pretty good picture of her there. She was trapped in this dimension but wanted to go back to her hell dimension. Unfortunately she was not only evil and narcissistic, she was insane. And her only means of staving off the insanity was to suck people's brains." Tara shuddered at the description.

"Tara and I were meeting at the multi-cultural fair but I was late," Willow explained, her guilt flooding back. If only we hadn't fought, this wouldn't have happened. "Glory got there first. She knew that Tara was a friend of Buffy's and she wanted information." She stopped for a second as she remembered that terrible day but to Tara it was like she was pausing for dramatic effect: "I got there a minute too late."

"She s-s-sucked her b-b-brain?" Tara asked. She didn't really have a question about it but just needed to say the words.

Willow nodded silently. "I guess yours too a little?" she commented. She didn't mean to be insulting but it was obvious that this woman had also been affected by Glory's cruelty.

Willow explained as quickly as possible, "I reversed it. We needed to do battle with Glory for once and for all and besides bringing back Tara's sanity it disoriented the hellgod." She remembered something this Tara had said, "when Tara first recognized me she said something you said. She said, 'I got so lost.'"

For a long time the two girls lay entwined in the sun feeling thankful that they were together and healthy. Finally Willow sat up and brushed her fingertips across the blonde witch's face. "Thank you for sharing your art with me. It's incredible and powerful and it's a gift." She stopped not sure whether she should continue. "And she would never tell me anything about what it was like for her so you gave that to me. Thank you." She leaned down kissing the blonde who could tell that this time Willow was kissing her and not her ex-lover.

The kiss became more and more heated with Willow pressing her body fully against Tara's as the taller girl lay beneath her. Finally the redhead pulled away looking somewhat embarrassed. As each girl took a few breaths to steady herself Willow asked, "do you think there's somewhere to eat around here? I'd love to take you to dinner."

Tara smiled her quirky smile as she told the redhead, "I'd love you to t-take me to dinner too." Willow's jaw dropped as they were folding the blanket and Tara added on the teasing, "but just because you buy me dinner doesn't mean I'll put out." Yep she's definitely different from my Tara, Willow thought. Her Tara would never have said something like that. "Doesn't mean I w- won't either though," Tara continued teasing quietly as Willow blushed.

Both girls enjoyed dinner together in a small and surprisingly good Italian restaurant in the closest town to the ranch. Even though it was about an hour from the ranch to the town, they were spotted immediately by locals who greeted them saying, "y'all must be them girls workin on the Allen's horse. Hope you're helpin. That's one beautiful animal." The girls tried to take all the attention in stride and just enjoy their dinner together but it pretty much precluded any serious conversation.

Tara handed the keys over to Willow for the drive back to the ranch because she was feeling tired. She wasn't particularly drained and, in fact, was walking well, but she just didn't feel like driving. It was well past dark when the two girls arrived at the ranch house and they quietly got ready for bed. A short make-out session quickly turned hot and both girls found themselves pulling away. After a moment of awkwardness they moved together for comforting snuggles. As each girl was loosing consciousness she felt more than heard the words, "right. Right. Soft. Right," floating through her brain. Willow knew that the words sounded familiar but couldn't place them.

Willow woke with some amount of confusion about where and when she was. She looked around the room, finally recognizing the ranch house. Her eyes settled on the apple again sitting on the nightstand and this time it brought a big smile to her face. Tara had packed her bag, apparently expecting to leave today so Willow did the same as soon as she had taken her shower.

The night before Willow had told Tara that if she rose early and wanted to check on the horse, she could either wake the redhead or head down to the stable. Not finding the blonde in the kitchen nor her car at the house, Willow assumed that she must be at the stable and spent about 15 minutes walking down there. Scooby ran up to the redhead as she walked and they proceeded together until they reached the barn with Willow throwing the sticks that Scooby kept bringing her.

Willow entered the barn to find a crowd of people including Mr. Allen, Joy, Tara, and another man holding a medical bag. As the redhead approached slowly and quietly it became immediately apparent that the other man was a veterinarian. "Well, I've never seen anything like it," he exclaimed. "I don't know what you did sweetheart but you're a miracle." "It's like magic," he muttered. Willow saw the blonde witch shooting a look at Joy to make sure the girl kept quiet. Willow sat on a bale of hay and after a few minutes Joy joined her, babbling excitedly about Golden's progress and how excited she was. As the redhead looked over at the teenager, she realized that the girl had tears in her eyes.

As Willow sat holding Joy's hand the rest of the group walked over to them. Tara introduced Willow to the veterinarian who told Willow what a miracle worker the blonde was. Tara's glance let her know how appreciated she was. "Well w-w-we need to be getting home," Tara explained as they all started toward the stable door.

At the door to the stable Mr. Allen turned and shook both girl's hands. Thinking for a minute he quickly hugged each woman also. "Can I give y'all some money? You saved a very special and valuable horse."

Tara glanced toward Willow and saw that the redhead was leaving the answer up to her. "I d- d-don't need the money but you can make a donation to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in memory or Teresa Anders or Rebecca Maclay." Surprising Willow the blonde pulled a card from her pocket which apparently gave more information about contacting the group and handed it to the grateful owner.

"You have my contact information if y'all ever need anything?" he confirmed and both girls nodded. "Ok, then I'm going to head back in the barn. Thank you so much!" Tara took Willow's hand and the two girls started to leave. Before they could reach the car Joy can running up to hug both of them.

After stopping to get their bags from the house, they started their long drive home. "I can't believe you didn't take any money," Willow commented.

Tara looked over at the redhead a little worried, "should I? I m-m-mean do you need money?"

"What?" Willow asked, "no I've got a pretty good amount and I'm earning some with the consulting. I'm just surprised."

Tara shook her head relieved that she hadn't refused money that Willow might have needed. "It's just that I f-figure it's a gift so I shouldn't sell it."

"Plus which," Tara continued, "Helen will invite him to my next exhibit and p-people like that have a lot of money to spend on artwork."

Willow reached out to take the blonde's hand. "That makes sense," she agreed. She's having another exhibit? When? Will I be in it? After a second of panicking she decided to live in the present and absorb the seeming perfection of their hands linked as they drove toward Austin and home.

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Paths Diverged/Divulged

by JustSkipIt

Copyright © 2003