Friends, Lovers and Ex-Lovers

by Kinetic-Kid

Copyright © 2006

kwhite14@yahoo.com

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Definitely no money being made. All characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing except whatever characters I may make up for this story.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse: /mysticmuse.net
Kinetic-Kid's Site: /www.kinetic-kid.com
Oh yeah, anywhere, anytime. Just make sure I get credit and let me know where it is.
Feedback: Please Please PLEASE. I live for feedback. I get irritable and upset if I don't get any and I might not continue writing. Of course, if you don't like the story and think it sucks you may not want me to continue!
Spoilers: If you haven't seen BTVS – then tough!! Anything and everything is up for spoiling.
Pairing: Buffy/Tara

Summary: Buffy's birthday brings about some realizations, and starts a friendship on a different path. Old lovers show their true colors.

Chapter 1    Chapter 2    Chapter 3    Chapter 4


Chapter 1

"Anya!" Tara growls at the ex-vengeance demon. "She is not going to do magic. I'll do the spell." Tara stands in front of Willow, her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed as she stares down the woman.

Anya throws her hands up in the air. "Fine! Whatever! Just as long as we can get out of here!" Anya flounces out of the room, Xander sighing as he quietly follows his fiancée.

"I have some ingredients that you can use for the spell." Willow hesitantly whispers to Tara, her eyes looking hopefully at the blonde Wiccan.

Tara clenches her jaw as she turns her gaze on Willow. "You still have Magic paraphernalia around here?"

Willow's eyes widen in surprise at the anger she sees in the blue depths of her girl…ex-girlfriend. "I-I wasn't planning on using them. I just had them here." Willow bites her lip nervously as she watches Tara intently.

Sighing heavily, Tara nods her head. "Get them for me, please." Tara whispers as she walks into the kitchen leaning against the island with her head tilted. 'You know that you can never forgive her for what she did, you need to cut her loose, Tara. You know she's hoping that you'll come back to her.' Tara thinks to herself as she hesitantly runs a hand across the tiles.

Willow hurriedly gathers everything magical she has, including the Doll's Eye crystal Tara had given her, carrying them back down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Here's everything I have." Willow whispers gently placing the items in front of Tara, looking up hopefully at the Wiccan. "Honestly, I wasn't planning on using any of this, Tara."

Tara nods her head silently as she looks at the items, her hand reaching for her Doll's Eye crystal, stroking a finger gently over it.

Buffy stops in the doorway to the kitchen as she follows Willow, seeing what was going on. Silently she watches as Willow tries to get into Tara's good graces while Tara seems to be drawn into herself.

Tara quickly gather's the herbs, doing the spell for the people to be able to leave, frowning when it doesn't work. Thinking for a few long moments, Tara closes her eyes and whispers a soft incantation. "Someone, or something is keeping us from leaving. Their magic is more powerful than what we have here for me to break it." Tara admits looking up at Willow.

Willow turns pale as she looks down at the items, before she looks back up into Tara's blue eyes. "Would I be able…?" Willow doesn't complete the question.

"No. You wouldn't be able to break it." Tara frowns heavily. "Only the person who cast it is going to be able to break this spell."

Buffy unconsciously breathes a sigh of relief that Willow won't do the magic, but frowns wondering what could have done a spell on the house so they couldn't leave, and why it was done, as she unconsciously listens to the two women.

"Willow?" Tara starts quietly looking at the redhead. When Willow looks at her with hopeful eyes, Tara sighs quietly. "We need to talk."

"Okay." Willow smiles hesitantly. "Do you want to talk now, or maybe meet for coffee or lunch once we get out of here?"

Tara shakes her head. "I can't do this, Willow." Tara looks up with sad eyes. "I know you're hoping that I might come back to you, but I have to tell you, that I can't."

Willow stands there in shock, staring at Tara. "B-but…" Willow looks down at the magical ingredients on the island.

"You're doing great about not doing any magic, Willow. But I can't forget or forgive you for what you did to me." Tara whispers softly, her blue eyes filling with tears. "I will always love you, Willow. You helped make me the person I am today, and I never would have had the strength to be myself if it weren't for you. But, whether you realize it or not, what you did to me was worse than what Glory did."

Willow frowns heavily, not understanding what Tara was saying. "I only took the one memory from you, Tara."

Tara growls quietly. "Yes, you did, Willow. You took my right to be angry at you away from me. The person that supposedly loves me completely, reached into my mind and took my memories away from me. You say it was only the once, but you actually did the spell twice, that I'm aware of. The second time it backfired. Does the rest of the group know it was you that cast the spell, Willow? Do they have the slightest idea that you did that? The first time I can only guess that we argued about magic. Since I don't have memory of it." Tara runs a shaky finger over her forehead. "At least with Glory, it wasn't anything personal, that's who she was. You don't do things like that to people you love, Willow. You took my choices away from me, to make you feel better about yourself. You raped me, is what it boils down to. I'll never be able to be with you again, because of it. I'll always wonder if something else might happen to push you to take my memories away from me and I can't do that to myself. You ruined the trust between us and it isn't something that we'll ever be able to get back." Tara admits quietly, looking into the tear-filled green eyes of her ex-lover.

Willow stares in disbelief at Tara, the tears falling heedlessly down her cheeks as she tries to understand what Tara's saying to her.

Tara sighs, seeing the confusion deep in Willow's eyes. "I'll make it simple, Willow. I love you but I am no longer in love with you. I won't be coming back, we're over." Tara watches as understanding slowly comes to Willow's eyes, followed by hurt, and anger. Tara bites her lips as Willow snarls her lip up at her before running from the kitchen. Tara drops her head, her hair falling forward to cover her face as she silently cries.

Buffy steps out of Willow's way, her eyes angry at the realization of exactly what Willow had done, not just to the rest of the group, but to Tara also. Buffy hesitates for a moment before walking up to the blonde Wiccan, cautiously placing a hand on a lightly shaking shoulder. "Tara?" Buffy questions softly, surprised when Tara turns to her, hugging her desperately as the tears fall harder and faster. "Shhh. It'll be okay." Buffy whispers, her eyes sad at the obvious hurt and pain the Wiccan is going through. Gently wrapping her arms around Tara, Buffy holds her gently, allowing Tara to cry it out, while gently running her hands up and down the woman's back, surprised at the strong back she feels under the woman's shirt.

"Oi, now, ain't this a lovely sight?" Spike growls as he walks into the kitchen, his eyes looking accusingly at the slayer. "Didn't think ya' had it in you, slayer. Up for a bit of a threesome, are ya'?" Spike snarls as he lights his cigarette eyeing the two women.

"Put that out. You're not smoking in my house." Buffy snarls at the peroxide blonde vampire, while tightening her grip on Tara as the Wiccan tries to break the embrace. "Stay, Tara. You've always been there for me when I've needed someone, the least I can do is return the favor. And you and I are going to talk about exactly what happened between you and Willow when you feel up to it." Buffy explains softly, before turning her gaze on Spike. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm comforting a friend, and it would be best if you got the hell out of here!"

Spike snarls at the slayer, before angrily spouting out. "Well, just so you know. It seems lil' bit made a wish and that's why we can't bloody well leave."

Buffy watches as Spike spins around on his heel and stalks out of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Buffy closes her eyes and unconsciously rests her head against Tara's as she continues to hold the Wiccan. "What the hell am I going to do with her? She steals, she lies, she makes wishes knowing that we're a damn magnet for things to go wrong." Buffy shakes her head, not knowing what to do about Dawn.

Tara finally gets control of her emotions, gently easing away from Buffy to look at the sad hazel eyes. "Thank you." Tara whispers as she wipes her own cheeks of the drying tears. "Want me to speak with Dawn?"

Buffy chuckles sadly. "You're probably the only one she's listening to right now. She hates me, I think she's still mad at Willow and she only tolerates Anya. Xander isn't one to go to for heart to hearts." Buffy shakes her head, running a hand roughly through her hair. "One step at a time, let's figure out how to get out of here, then maybe we can set up some kind of date for you to talk with Dawn."

"Okay." Tara allows a small smile to cross her face. "Let's see about getting the wish reversed and taken care of."

Buffy nods her head in silent agreement as she follows Tara silently out of the kitchen, back into the living room.


"Spike, will you stop stalking me? I said we're through." Buffy growls as she angrily strides through the cemetery, slamming her fist into a newly risen vampire before picking it up and throwing it against a tombstone. Quickly staking it, she turns her angry gaze on the bleached blonde vampire. "Take a not so subtle hint and leave me alone."

"What'sa matter, slayer? You're a bit tetchy, ain't ya?" Spike growls, prowling towards the slayer. "I know what'll cure that." Spike smirks as he rests his hand beside his crotch. "I got just what the slayer needs."

Buffy suddenly feels sick to her stomach in realization of what she'd done with the soulless vampire. The full weight of the violent sex, the beatings and the fucking they'd done makes her want to throw up. "You don't have anything I need." Buffy whispers, the disgust obvious in her tones. "Leave me alone, Spike. We're through and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that." Buffy turns on her heel striding towards the college campus to continue patrol.

Spike snarls and jogs to catch up with the slayer, jerking her to a stop, ducking the quick fist that comes sailing towards his head. "We're through when I say we're through, slayer." Spike growls, his eyes shading to yellow. "And we ain't through. Not by a long shot. You came back wrong and this is proof!" Spike snarls as he lands a quick strike to the slayer's ribs, before howling in pain as a boot lands squarely between his legs, making him collapse grabbing his groin in pain.

Buffy grabs her ribs, wincing as she feels them shift under her hand. "You lay another hand on me, I will rip you limb from limb then stake you with your own arm bone. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone." Buffy hisses in Spikes face before wincing as she continues walking towards the college.

"We ain't through yet, slayer." Spike growls quietly, waiting for the pain to subside before he slowly stands, watching the now distant slayer. "We've only just begun."


Tara hurries from the library towards her dorm room, keeping her eyes open for any vampires, silently berating herself for staying so late in the library. As her eyes continue to scan the quad, they come to light on a small blonde, leaning against a tree. Searching out the rest of the area, Tara jogs quickly up to Buffy, stopping a couple feet from the slayer. "Buffy?" Tara hesitantly questions.

Buffy unconsciously stiffens from where she's been resting against the tree, trying to get the pain of her broken ribs under control. Slowly turning to face Tara, she tries to smile, failing horribly.

Tara frowns heavily at the obvious pain coming from the slayer. "Can you make it to my dorm room?" Tara questions, her eyes trailing over the slayer's body, not seeing any visible damage, but knowing there must be damage under the clothes.

"I should go home." Buffy turns to head back towards her house.

"No, please don't." Tara shakes her head, her eyes looking at Buffy's. "Let me help you, please."

Buffy takes a deep breath, ready to tell Tara no when the pain shoots through her again, making her whimper.

Tara steps up to Buffy, gently wrapping her arm around the slayer, urging her towards the dorm. "No arguing with the Wiccan, Buffy. I'll knock you out and carry your ass to the dorm room, if I have to."

Buffy snorts at that comment, hissing as her ribs shift. "So much for the sweet, calm Wiccan. Threatening to knock me out and saying bad words." Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face as Tara looks at her with narrowed eyes. "Though, it's hard to picture you doing those things."

"Try me." Tara states seriously, her eyes glancing at Buffy, no laughter visible in the serious gaze. Tara turns her eyes back to where they're slowly making their way up the stairs, Tara calmly waiting for the slayer to slowly lift her legs as they climb the steps together.

"You have a very serious look on your face." Buffy whispers, the surprise obvious in her voice.

"Your being hurt is serious." Tara whispers back, shifting her head, she looks at Buffy.

"It isn't that bad." Buffy shakes her head, frowning. "A few broken ribs."

Tara inhales quickly, her brows furrowing. "Broken ribs are extremely painful, and the way you're acting they must be bad." Tara's mind starts working through the ingredients she has in her room to make a poultice for the slayer's ribs and a numbing spell to take the worse of the pain away. "What happened?"

"Had a not so successful discussion with Spike." Buffy finally admits after they make it to Tara's room and the blonde unlocks her door. Buffy's mind stalls for a moment at the knowledge that Tara obviously knows from first hand experience what broken ribs feel like. Filing that information away, Buffy watches Tara.

Tara's head snaps up, her eyes searching Buffy's. "Spike did that?"

"Yeah." Buffy admits as she walks into Tara's room.

"Lie down on the bed." Tara orders as she tosses her book bag in the corner, digging her first aid kit out of the closet. Setting it on the desk, she digs through until she finds the ace bandages, setting them on the side before going to her box of herbs. Tossing a few chosen herbs into her mortar and grinding them almost roughly with the pestle, Tara turns her gaze on Buffy, watching as the slayer sits on the edge of the bed. "You need to lie down. Where are they broken at?" Tara watches as Buffy looks up at her with sad hazel eyes before pointing to her lower ribcage. "Can you get your shirt off, or are you going to need help?"

Buffy's eyes widen at the Wiccan's calm words. "What?"

Tara sighs quietly. "For me to get this poultice on your ribs, and to wrap them properly, your jacket and shirt both need to come off. I'll give you a towel to cover yourself with, if it bothers you."

Buffy blushes lightly as she looks down, not knowing what to say.

Tara laughs quietly at the obvious discomfort crossing Buffy's face. "I promise I won't pounce on you, Buffy. Yes, it's been a while, but I don't take advantage of people. Especially women that are straight." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer, as Buffy's head lifts up in surprise. "Do you need help?" Tara questions softly as she sets the mortar down.

"Please." Buffy finally smiles as she tries to shrug out of the jacket, wincing in pain.

"Let me." Tara kneels on the floor beside Buffy, gently easing the jacket off the slayer's good side before gently pulling it down the slayer's other arm. Sighing quietly at the crop top the slayer's wearing, Tara raises her eyes at the slayer. "You couldn't have worn a button-up shirt, could you?"

"Wasn't planning on having my ribs caved it." Buffy admits, grinning briefly.

Tara sighs as she gently raises the top, trying to maneuver Buffy's head gently through the opening, so the slayer doesn't have to lift her arms and put any more strain on her broken ribs. Finally pulling the shirt down Buffy's arms, Tara glances away at the now topless slayer, standing to get a towel and handing it to her.

Buffy covers her breasts, blushing lightly at her nakedness.

Tara turns back to make the poultice and grabs the ace bandages. Stepping back to the slayer, Tara lifts the edge of the towel, placing the poultice gently against Buffy's side. "Can you hold this here while I start to wrap your ribs?"

Buffy nods her head as she tucks the towel against her chest with her arm while holding the poultice against her with her hand, shifting her hand as Tara gently wraps her ribs, so the poultice will stay in place.

"Is that tight enough or too tight?" Tara questions as she wraps the slayer's ribs, looking up into hazel eyes.

"It's perfect." Buffy smiles at the soft blue eyes. "Thank you, Tara."

"You're welcome." Tara smiles back as she finishes wrapping Buffy's ribs and taping the edges down. "Let me see what I can get for you." Tara stands back up, walking over to her closet. Pulling out a light blue button-up shirt, she walks back to Buffy, gently easing the slayer into the shirt and quickly buttoning it. Finally pulling the towel down and out from under the over-sized shirt. "Not exactly a fashion statement, but a lot easier for you to get in and out of. Sorry it's big on you." Tara blushes lightly looking down as she stands, folding the towel back up and placing it on the desk.

Buffy watches Tara move around the room for a moment before looking down at her clasped hands.

"Please, lie down, Buffy." Tara orders softly, watching as Buffy obvious contemplates for a moment before shifting and lying down in the bed. Walking over to the slayer, Tara gently pulls off her boots, placing them at the head of the bed on the floor, while glancing at Buffy. "I have juice and water, if you'd like something to drink?"

"Water, please." Buffy finally gives in, relaxing her body back into the bed, getting more comfortable as she feels the pain slowly easing from her side.

Grabbing a couple waters out of the mini refrigerator, Tara hands one to Buffy before she sits down in her chair, tucking her legs up under her, sipping at her own water. "Do you feel like talking about what happened?"

"You pretty much know the majority of it. I told him we were through, I didn't want anything else to do with him and it escalated into him taking a cheap shot at my ribs. Which was harder than I expected. I kicked him in the groin then gradually made my way here to try and finish patrol." Buffy shrugs lightly as she plays with the label on her water bottle.

Tara tucks her hair behind her ear, sighing quietly. "Buffy, he's obsessed with you. He won't give up, he'll keep at it until he either gets you or kills you." Tara explains softly.

Buffy slowly raises her eyes, looking at Tara. "I think obsessed is exactly what it is." Buffy tilts her head, watching Tara. "I haven't seen you in the last couple weeks since the birthday party. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." Tara shrugs, smiling briefly. "Going to classes, studying, that type of thing."

"Do you feel like talking?" Buffy questions hesitantly, her mind tripping back to the discussion between Tara and Willow at her birthday party.

Tara looks down, picking at her skirt as she considers the slayer quietly. "What is there to say, Buffy? Willow and I are through. I'm going to finish out the school year and transfer out of here." Tara shrugs her shoulders, her heart aching at the thought of leaving the people she considers family, but not seeing much choice in the matter.

"WHAT?" Buffy growls loudly, her head snapping up to look at the Wiccan. "What do you mean you're transferring out of Sunnydale? You can't do that, I won't let you, Tara." Buffy shakes her head angrily. "So not gonna happen."

Tara stares in surprise at the blonde slayer. "I figured it would be for the best that I leave. That would take away a lot of the tenseness and turmoil that's going on right now."

"No. It'll make things harder on everyone. You're family, and if you leave it'll tear us apart, Tara. You're the glue that holds this crazy family of ours together. Whether you believe it or not, we would have probably imploded a long time ago, if it wasn't for you. Lord knows I'd still be fucking Spike if you hadn't been there for me." Buffy admits sadly, coming to the realization that since Tara had moved out, things had been harder on everyone.

Tara shakes her head softly. "I figured it would make things easier on everyone if I wasn't even around. I honestly don't want to leave, but I thought it would be for the best." Tara whispers the sad admission.

"It isn't for the best, so please get it out of your head. No more discussions of your leaving." Buffy hesitates, sighing quietly before blurting out. "Why didn't you tell anyone what Willow did to you? All she told us was that you had left her because of the magic. We all assumed it was because she was using too much magic. I know it never even occurred to me that she had used a spell on you."

Tara's eyes snap up to look at Buffy. "You heard our conversation." Tara states, seeing the acknowledgement in Buffy's eyes, Tara drops her gaze back down to her lap. "She had done a spell on me right before the big spell that wiped all our memories. If you didn't know for sure, she was the one that caused us to lose our memories, not some big bad. She was trying to make you forget being in heaven, and me forget my finding out about the first spell and her promise to not do magic." Tara admits quietly a hitch in her voice.

"I figured it was something like that." Buffy softly whispers. "I haven't hardly seen or spoken with Willow after you broke up completely with her. She's been keeping pretty much to herself."

Tara slowly raises her head. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to make it harder on everyone, but I just can't ever be with her again. I can't trust someone that did what she did, knowing what had been done to me. She doesn't realize that what she did was worse than what Glory had done."

"I understand, Tara." Buffy shifts to place the empty water bottle on the nightstand, wincing at the pull in her ribs, but surprised at how much better they're feeling. "Now, why were you out so late, when you should have been tucked away all safe and sound in your room?"

Tara laughs quietly. "I needed to do some research for one of my papers and time got away from me. Plus I needed a couple books for one of my classes."

"You need to be more careful." Buffy admonishes as the thought of something happening to Tara, makes her heart speed up with worry.

"I was prepared." Tara laughs, pointing towards her book bag and the fanny pack lying on top of it. "I don't go anywhere without my stakes, holy water, crosses and a few additional tricks."

"Try not to put yourself in the position of needing them, though." Buffy shifts her feet off the bed, preparing to stand.

"Whoa. Where do you think you're going?" Tara questions, hopping out of the chair and placing a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"I should head home. My ribs are feeling pretty good right now." Buffy admits, looking up into caring blue eyes.

"Is Willow home?" Tara questions quietly, and at Buffy's hesitant nod, Tara smiles. "And is Dawnie staying at Janice's tonight?"

"Yeah, at least that's what she said." Buffy admits quietly, raising a questioning eyebrow at the Wiccan.

Tara hesitates a moment as she looks down at Buffy. "I know you don't sleep well, Buffy." Seeing the questioning eyes, Tara sighs. "The dark circles under your eyes, the fact that you'd climb out your window in the middle of the night to climb down the tree and walk around the neighborhood to try and settle your mind. "

"How…?" Buffy questions, frowning heavily as she considers Tara.

Tara turns back and walks to her window, leaning against the window frame. "I wasn't exactly sleeping well myself." Tara finally admits. "I'd been feeling unsettled and worried about Willow and you both. For different reasons. I'd hear when you'd leave your room, and move to the window to watch as you'd walk down the sidewalk." Tara leans her forehead against the cool glass. "Sometimes I'd see Spike meet up with you." Tara admits softly, closing her eyes.

Buffy sits there in shock, as she thinks back to that time right before Tara left, how she and Spike would go at it occasionally under the tree or down the block, wondering exactly what Tara might have seen. "Why didn't you say anything?" Buffy speaks barely above a whisper.

"I figured if you wanted me to know, you'd say something." Tara shrugs as she runs her hands through her hair, sighing softly. "I try not to judge or stick my nose in other peoples business, Buffy. But I'm going to let you know this…" Tara turns her gaze towards Buffy, the normally warm blue eyes becoming glacier cold. "If Spike lays another hand on you to hurt you, I will rip it off him before starting at the tip of his toes and slowly pouring holy water all over his body, until he's begging me to kill him. Then I'll practice my fireball spells I've been working on." Tara turns back and looks out the window again. "I came across a spell a couple nights ago that might help you. I've already done it and placed it on a necklace. It should keep him from being able to harm you. If you should want to continue sleeping with him, it won't stop that, but he won't be able to hit you again without his chip firing. Unless you take it off." Tara drops her head against the window pane again. "If you want to stay, you're more than welcome. No strings attached, we don't have to discuss anything. Just curl up and go to sleep. Maybe I'll hold you as you sleep, if you want me to try and help to keep the nightmares at bay. If you want to leave, the necklace is on top of my dresser."


Chapter 2

Tara silently waits to see what Buffy decides to do. Not looking at the slayer, she keeps her head tilted against the window pane, silently listening to the soft breaths of the slayer behind her.

Buffy sits quietly on the edge of the bed, the Wiccan's words circling around in her head. Part of her liking the idea of being curled up safe and warm, protected by Tara. Knowing that Tara would protect her from whatever harm, physical or mental that would come her way. Buffy's eyes slowly trail over to Tara's dresser seeing the leather corded necklace with the pale blue stone weaved within the leather. "I don't have anything to sleep in." Buffy finally whispers, her decision made.

"You can sleep in the top you're wearing now, or I have large t-shirts and shorts, even sweat pants, if you prefer." Tara slowly turns towards Buffy, smiling softly. "I have spare toothbrushes and deodorants also."

Buffy allows a grin to cross her face. "Planning on having company?" Buffy jokes quietly.

"Just prepared in case Dawnie ever needs to stay the night." Tara shrugs her shoulders smiling crookedly at the slayer. "What do you prefer to sleep in?"

Buffy glances down at the shirt that comes to mid thigh. "I'll sleep in this shirt, if that's okay?" Buffy looks back up at Tara.

"That's fine. Let me get a toothbrush for you and my kit." Tara pushes away from the window frame, walking over to the dresser, opening the bottom drawer to pull out her shower kit and a spare toothbrush. "Will you be okay going down there by yourself, or would you like me to go with you?" Tara questions quietly, setting the items on top of the dresser as she turns back towards Buffy.

"I'll be okay, unless you need to go also." Buffy smiles self-consciously at Tara.

"I'll go when you get back." Tara chuckles quietly. "And if you're not comfortable with the idea of sleeping with me, I'll curl up in the chair. Won't be the first time I've slept in it." Tara grins.

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed, Tara." Buffy shakes her head at the witch as she grabs the toothbrush and shower kit as she heads to the door.

"Here." Tara reaches over into the closet and pulls down one of her robes, handing it to Buffy.

Buffy smiles in thanks as she walks out of the room.

Tara quickly changes into her tank top and shorts, grabbing her other robe to belt loosely around her waist as she waits for Buffy to come back. 'Hopefully Buffy will sleep good tonight. If she wants, I can always offer to do a sleep spell for her, to help.' Tara thinks to herself as she walks to the window, closing the blinds before turning as she hears the door open.

"Thanks." Buffy smiles as she hands the items to Tara, watching as Tara leaves to go down to the bathroom. Wincing slightly as she eases the robe off, Buffy hangs it up before pulling down the covers, hesitating for a moment, wondering what side Tara normally sleeps on. Waiting for the blonde Wiccan to come back before climbing in, Buffy looks around the sparse room.

"You could have gone ahead and climbed in bed." Tara states as she closes and locks the door behind her before putting the shower kit back in the drawer, sliding the robe off and hanging it up as she walks towards her bed.

Buffy's eyes turn to gaze at Tara, her breath stopping in her chest at the sight of Tara wearing a tight tank top and shorts, the muscle tone of the Wiccan surprising her. Taking a moment, Buffy finally answers Tara in a slightly hoarse voice. "I didn't know which side you slept on."

"It doesn't matter." Tara smiles softly. "Pick a side and I'll curl up on the other one." Tara turns to light a candle before turning off the overhead lights. Carrying the candle to the nightstand, Tara gently eases into bed beside Buffy. "I can do a sleep spell to make sure you get a good nights sleep, if you want. Or we could try this and see how you do?" Tara plumps her pillow before lying her head down, turning her gaze on Buffy. "Do you want to come here?" Tara offers her shoulder to Buffy smiling gently. "I promise I won't bite."

Buffy laughs quietly as she blushes. "Thank you, Tara." Buffy whispers before closing the small distance between them and gently easing her head down on Tara's shoulder, placing her hand between their two bodies.

"Make yourself comfortable, Buffy. You're not going to sleep well like that." Tara admonishes quietly, reaching for Buffy's hand and gently placing it across her stomach. "Snuggle in and go to sleep." Tara explains quietly, smiling as Buffy finally eases into her side and throws a leg gently over Tara's. "'Night, sweetie." Tara whispers as she gently starts stroking her fingers through Buffy's hair.

"Good night, Tara." Buffy sighs, finally relaxing into the Wiccan's arms, her eyes closing as her body quickly shuts down. The exhaustion finally catching up with her.

"Oh, sweetie." Tara murmurs realizing it only took a few seconds for Buffy to fall asleep. Continuing to stroke her fingers through the slayer's soft hair, Tara thinks about the slayer in her arms, wondering how much longer Buffy can keep up working for minimum wage, doing patrols, trying to solve all her friends problems and take care of Dawnie before she breaks down completely. "Maybe I can do something to help you out, sweetie." Tara whispers as she places a soft kiss on the top of Buffy's head before she turns her head to blow out the candle. Gently continuing to stroke her fingers through Buffy's hair, Tara slowly falls asleep.


Tara smiles as she wakes up at the weight of the slayer's head on her shoulder and the small hand unconsciously kneading her breast. Reaching up for the hand, Tara gently tugs it down around her waist, threading her fingers through Buffy's to keep it from traveling. "Don't think you'd be too comfortable waking up to that." Tara chuckles softly as she starts to stroke through Buffy's hair with her other hand, looking over at the clock, seeing it's a little after four in the morning. Continuing the stroking motion, Tara slowly falls back asleep.


"NO! NO! Get me out of here!" Buffy whimpers loudly, her body starting to thrash around the bed as her dreams turn to nightmares.

Tara jerks awake as a hand slams into her side and the slayer starts tossing and turning in the bed. Wrapping both her arms around Buffy, Tara pulls her tightly to her, stroking down the slayer's back whispering softly. "It's okay, sweetie. I've got you. Nothing's going to hurt you. I promise. Remember, you're here in the room with me. Everything's going to be okay, sweetie." Tara continues to murmur softly, gently shifting back and forth as she tries to soothe the agitated slayer. "I won't let anything hurt you. I promise I'll protect you." Tara sighs softly as Buffy starts to slowly calm down after about fifteen minutes. Continuing to stroke over Buffy's back, Tara breathes a sigh of relief as Buffy whimpers as she finally settles back down asleep. "It's okay, sweetie." Tara places a soft kiss to the top of Buffy's head, her eyes worried. "It'll be okay." Tara whispers, closing her eyes and continuing to stroke the slayers back and head, smiling as Buffy unconsciously hugs her tight and burrows into her side.


Buffy slowly awakens to find herself practically wrapped around Tara, with the blonde Wiccan's arms holding her tight. Slowly raising her head, she looks at the clock, staring at it in surprise as the time almost mocks her. Sighing quietly in realization that she really should get dressed and go home, her gaze turns to Tara, her eyes searching the soft features of the Wiccan, for the first time noticing how beautiful the woman actually is. Shaking her head, Buffy pulls her arms from around Tara before gently easing Tara's arms from her.

"Shhh…Go back to sleep, I promise nothing'll harm you." Tara mumbles quietly as she feels Buffy shifting around.

"I'm awake." Buffy whispers, smiling as Tara slowly releases her grip and as eyelids slowly raise, showing hazy blue eyes looking at her. "I need to go home to get ready for work." Buffy admits softly as Tara's eyes clear.

Tara reaches up and strokes a thumb gently over the slayer's cheek, smiling softly. "Sleep better, sweetie?"

"A lot, thank you." Buffy blushes lightly as she looks down, frowning at Tara's tank top that had ridden up. Shifting back from Tara, Buffy lifts it further as she sees the start of a bruise on the woman's side. Quickly raising her eyes to Tara's as Tara shifts the shirt down, Buffy searches the blue eyes. "What…?" Buffy starts to question as she tries to understand what she saw.

"It's okay, sweetie. Just a little bruise, I'll be okay in a few days." Tara smiles at Buffy as she stands and stretches her back, groaning loudly. "Dawn and I have a movie date this afternoon." Tara looks at the clock, chuckling. "Actually like more in an hour. I better get moving."

"I need to be at work in two hours." Buffy admits, frowning at Tara. "I hit you last night, didn't I?"

"You didn't hit me, sweetie." Tara shakes her head as she grabs clothes out of the closet. "You had a nightmare and thrashed about a bit before I could wrap you up and calm you down. Not a big deal." Tara pulls her robe on. "Do you feel like waiting around to walk me back to your house, or do you want to go ahead and go, that way you can get ready for work?"

"If I took a shower here, instead of at home, I could walk you there." Buffy admits after thinking for a few minutes, feeling guilty at the realization that she'd hurt Tara.

Tara looks at Buffy for a few minutes, seeing the guilty look cross the slayer's face. Padding across the room to stand in front of the slayer, Tara gently lifts Buffy's face to look in her eyes. "I'm fine, and you didn't mean to do it, so stop beating yourself up over it, okay? Now, let's go shower and clean up to head to your place." Tara smiles as she grabs Buffy's clothes from the night before, handing them to the slayer. "Do you want help taking off your wrap?"

"No, thanks. My ribs are probably feeling better than yours are, right now." Buffy frowns, sighing heavily. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up." Buffy whispers softly, heading towards the door.

Tara sighs quietly watching the slayer before she pulls on her robe and grabs her clothes and shower kit, along with Buffy's toothbrush and a spare deodorant. "Do you want to put the robe on, or are you okay to walk down to the bathrooms like that?" Tara raises an eyebrow at the slayer wearing one of her shirts that halts mid-thigh.

Buffy looks down, realizing what she's wearing, she laughs quietly. "A robe would probably be the smart thing." Buffy finally admits as she walks over to the closet and pulls down the robe, setting her clothes aside while pulling it on.

"Yes, it would." Tara laughs quietly as the two women head towards the showers.


Tara and Buffy walk quietly back towards Buffy's house. Glancing at the slayer, Tara smiles at the petite blonde. "Is there anything in particular you want me to discuss with Dawn while we're out today?" Tara questions softly.

"Anything, everything." Buffy shrugs her shoulders, sighing softly. "She's stealing, lying and just being a general pain in the ass. I don't know what to do. I yell, it doesn't work. I ground her, it doesn't work. I threaten, ignore, beg, plead, cry and none of it works."

"I'll try feeling her out and see what happens." Tara offers quietly as they turn down Revello Drive.

"Thank you, Tara." Buffy smiles at the Wiccan. "It isn't your responsibility, but I'm at my wits end as to what to do with Dawn. I'm afraid she's going to get arrested for stealing, if she doesn't straighten up. And if she gets arrested, they're going to take her away from me."

Tara nods her head silently in agreement as they walk up the steps to the front door. She watches as Buffy unlocks the door and steps into the house.

"Where have you been?" Willow growls, before noticing Tara stepping into the house behind the slayer. Suddenly turning pale, she looks from one woman to the other in disbelief.

"She was hurt and I made her come to my room, so I could help her. She stayed with me last night." Tara explains calmly as she slides off her jacket and hangs it up on the hook.

Willow's face turns red and her mouth opens and shuts a couple times in disbelief. "She slept with you last night?" Willow finally spits out, her eyes sparking with magic.

"In the basic definition of the word, yes, she slept with me last night." Tara turns her narrowed gaze on Willow. "As to what business it is of yours, I haven't the slightest, but I suggest you get control of yourself, Willow."

Buffy watches the interaction between the two women, before stepping in front of Tara, facing Willow. "She helped me after I was hurt last night. All she was doing was looking out for a friend, she would have done the same for Dawn, Xander, Anya and even you, though I don't see why." Buffy growls quietly as she sees what Tara did. "Now, do as Tara suggested and get control of yourself, Willow. We're not having a magical showdown over the fact that she helped me. Nothing else happened last night, so drop it."

Willow snarls her lip in disgust at the slayer. "You don't tell me what to do."

"As long as you're living under my roof, I do." Buffy snarls back, the anger getting the better of her. "There will be no magic done in this house by you, Willow. If you're doing magic, you will move out, and not be welcome here, understood?"

"You can't do that!" Willow growls at Buffy, her eyes darkening dangerously.

Buffy leans into Willow's personal space. "My name is on the deed to this house, I can and WILL do whatever the hell I please. Now, calm the fuck down or get the fuck out!"

Tara shakes her head at the two women before stepping between them. "No. Both of you back off. All this is happening for no reason whatsoever. Buffy, please go get ready for work so you're not late. Willow, you better calm down and think about what you're saying. First off, nothing happened between Buffy and I. Secondly, if something did happen, it is none of your concern. Thirdly, Buffy's straight! Like she'd be interested in me. So get a grip and calm down before you harm your friendship."

Buffy sighs quietly before she reaches up to gently squeeze Tara's shoulder. "Thanks." Buffy whispers before slowly walking up the stairs, shaking her head to Dawn and pointing her back up the stairs.

Dawn stands in stunned disbelief on the stairs as she listens to the three women as Buffy motions her to go to her room, Dawn's shoulders slump as she walks back up the stairs.

Willow stands there angrily in front her ex-lover. "Who do you think you are, trying to tell us what to do?" Willow hisses at Tara, the anger boiling to the surface.

"Someone who cares." Tara softly whispers a protection spell as she notices Willow's eyes becoming almost pitch black. "Please, Willow. Don't do this. I just want to try and keep the peace."

"Keep the peace? Or try and get in Buffy's pants?" Willow snarls, her eyes sparking. "That's the real reason you don't want to get back together isn't it? You want Buffy. You try to take away my magic, now you're going after my best friend." Willow invades Tara's personal space, poking her in the chest. "You're just jealous of what I have. I've finally figured it out. You're jealous of the power I have and my friendship with Buffy."

Tara clenches her jaw as Willow pokes her in the chest for the fourth time. Finally having enough, Tara reaches up, grabbing Willow's finger, grasping it tightly. "Don't make me hate you, Willow. You're borderline right now, and either you back off, or I'll make you back off."

"You can't make me do shit." Willow snarls as she jerks her finger away from Tara. Quickly gathering power, she slams it into Tara, staggering back herself as the magic bounces off the magical shield Tara had erected around herself to slam back into her, knocking her on her ass and knocking her unconscious.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Buffy jumps down the stairs, arriving too late to see what happened, but having heard everything, hoping that Willow would back down. "What happened?" Buffy turns questioning eyes to Tara.

"She got whatever spell she threw at me thrown back in her face." Tara admits quietly as she kneels beside Willow, checking her pulse, sighing in relief at the steady beat.

"She tried to do a spell on you?" Buffy stands there in stunned disbelief, her eyes landing on the unconscious form of her best friend, trying to figure out exactly who Willow is now.

Dawn stands at the top of the stairs, her arms wrapped around her waist as she listens and watches the women, trying to understand what's going on.

"Yes." Tara sighs quietly, dropping her chin down on her chest. "This is why I was planning on leaving, Buffy. She never would have done something like this if I wasn't here."

Dawn inhales sharply at the blonde's words, the tears gathering in her eyes at the thought of Tara leaving forever. Collapsing on the top step, Dawn gather's her legs up against her chest as the pain of what it would be like without Tara there to talk to and help her comes slamming into her.

"And that is so not an option, Tara." Buffy shakes her head looking from Tara to Willow. "What should we do with her?"

"Right now or in the future?" Tara questions sadly, her eyes lifting to look at Buffy.

"I'll settle for right now, but we need to figure out for the future, also." Buffy admits quietly.

"Right now, somewhere more comfortable for her to lie down and covers to keep her warm. I don't know what spell she did, and I honestly don't know what consequences it'll have." Tara explains quietly, watching as Buffy nods her head and lifts Willow gently in her arms.

Buffy carries Willow upstairs, watching as Dawn scrambles out of her way, roughly wiping the tears from her face.

Tara follows Buffy upstairs, pulling down the covers on Willow's bed as Buffy gently sets her down. Quickly covering the redhead back up, Tara silently watches as Buffy leaves the room, her gaze turning on Dawn. "Looks like our movie and shake date is cancelled. Do you feel like running down to the rental place and picking up a couple movies?" Tara offers quietly. "We can fix popcorn and watch movies here."

Dawn nods her head quickly, glad that Tara wasn't just going to go back to her dorm. "Any requests?" Dawn hesitantly questions.

"Something funny." Tara grins lopsidedly at the teenager. "I can use a little laughter right now."

"Okay. I'll be back in a little while." Dawn accepts the cash Tara holds out to her before quickly leaving the room.

Tara's worried gaze lands back on Willow. Silently, Tara watches the redhead for a while, not aware of the passing time, until Buffy comes back in the room.

"I called work to tell them I had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to make it in today." Buffy whispers, her gaze turning from Tara to Willow. "Is there anything we can do?"

"No." Tara admits quietly. "She has to want to get better, Buffy. No one else can force it on her. The only other option is for someone to strip her of her powers permanently. If that happens she has about a 60% chance of living through it." Tara sighs softly before looking up into the hazel eyes of the slayer. Seeing the questioning gaze, Tara smiles sadly. "Magic is a part of her. It's part of what makes her, her. If you take it, it would almost be like taking a limb. There's a good chance she may not make it through the operation."

"Can't someone bind her powers?" Buffy frowns as she considers the thought. "You know, lock them away within her so that way they're there but she can't access them?"

Tara nibbles on her lip, considering the thought. "The only problem with that would be that she could and probably would be able to open the lock eventually. And knowing Willow, it would probably be sooner rather than later."

"Damn." Buffy whispers as she looks down at the redheaded hacker. "I can't have her in the house if she's going off the deep end, Tara. I can't let Dawn be endangered like that. But I need someone here to watch over Dawn while I'm working or out on patrol."

"I'll help you out, however I can with Dawn, Buffy. Don't worry about that part of it. It's your decision as to what to do with Willow. Ultimately, this is your house. You decide who can and can't live here." Tara shrugs as she walks towards the door, patting Buffy gently on the shoulder as she passes her. "I can't make that decision for you, sweetie."

Buffy's eyes turn to gaze at the departing Wiccan before turning back to look sadly at Willow. "Who are you, Willow? Why did you have to do these things?" Buffy sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed, running a shaky hand over the hacker's face. "I have to do everything in my power to protect my family, Willow. And if that means protecting them from you, the woman I've felt is a sister for the last four years, then that's what I'll do."


Dawn lets herself back in the house, her eyes lighting on Tara sitting on the end of the couch. Dropping the movies on the coffee table, she turns her gaze on Tara. "What's going on?" Dawn whispers cautiously.

Tara sighs quietly. "Can you be more specific? There's a lot of things going on and I'm not real sure what you want to talk about first. But, be aware…" Tara eyes look up, capturing Dawn's eyes. "You're going to be asked some questions yourself today."

Dawn pales at the serious look in Tara's eyes, her heart jumping in her throat as she realizes that Tara knows she hasn't straightened her act up any. Whimpering quietly, Dawn collapses on the couch beside Tara, leaning into the Wiccan. "I don't know why I'm doing it, Tara. I can't seem to stop, I see something I want and I take it. Someone confronts me about it, I lie. Buffy doesn't care what I do. Willow's being a total bitch. You moved out…I feel like my world is about ready to collapse around me."

Tara wraps her arm around Dawn's shoulder, hugging to her tightly. "Dawnie, you can come and talk to me at any time, sweetie. You know that. But we're going to have to do something about your lying and stealing, sweetie. You're going to end up being taken away from Buffy, if you don't stop. Or worse, end up in a Juvenile Detention Center." Tara smiles softly as Dawn whimpers and lies down with her head in her lap as she tries to curl up into a ball. Stroking her fingers through Dawn's hair, Tara slowly continues. "How about this? If you see something that you have the urge to take, walk away. Don't reach for it, don't look at it, move away from it. If you're not stealing anything, you won't have anything to lie about. Now, as for Buffy. She loves you, sweetie. Whether you want to believe it or not, she loves you completely. She's at her wits end as to what to do with you. She doesn't want you taken away from her, and honestly, right now? It would probably be the easiest thing on her if she didn't have to worry about you. Does that sound like someone that doesn't care about you or what you do? As for Willow…" Tara sighs deeply, closing her eyes as she thinks about her ex-lover. "Her problems are her own. There's nothing we can do to help her, if she isn't willing to help herself. I couldn't stay here with her, Dawnie, that's why I moved out. I wish I could be here for you all the time, but I can't live in the same house that she lives." Tara admits, the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks.

"Why?" Dawn questions softly. "What did she do, Tara?"

Tara bites her lip as she looks down at Dawn. "Remember when you told me that you were happy Willow and I had made up and weren't fighting anymore?" Tara questions, seeing Dawn hesitantly nod. "First off, thank you for making the comment, sweetie. I never would have questioned it, if it weren't for you. But she did a forget spell on me to forget the fight we had." Tara admits softly, her eyes searching the surprised eyes of Dawn.

"But why would she do that?" Dawn frowns, not understanding. "All people have fights and arguments, that's the way it is. If you didn't argue occasionally, wouldn't that partially mean you don't care enough to get angry?"

Tara laughs quietly, smiling down at the teenager. "From the mouths of babes. Listen to what you just said, sweetie. Doesn't Buffy yell and argue and get mad at you for the things you've done?"

Dawn silently contemplates what she'd said and Tara's comments for a few long minutes before her eyes open wide as the realization hits her, nodding her head and the tears start to stream down her face. "I was being stupid, wasn't I?" Dawn whispers as she buries her face in Tara's stomach, wrapping her arms around the Wiccan's waist and hugging her tightly.

"Not stupid, sweetie. Just confused and hurting. But I want your promise that you're going to do better. Walk away if you're tempted until we can figure out how to get you help. I'll see if there isn't some way to get you to the college psychologist to talk to, if you want. They might be able to help you more, okay?"

Dawn nods her head in silent agreement. After a few minutes of getting her tears under control, she leans back to look up at Tara, a watery smile on her face. "Now, why was my sister sleeping with you last night?" Dawn jokes quietly.

Tara laughs and wipes the tears from Dawn's face. "I'm irresistible, what can I say?" Tara jokes back, her lip curling up in a smile.


Buffy sits quietly on the landing as she listens to Tara and Dawn talk, smiling at the Wiccan joking with Dawn. Hoping that Dawn might finally feel better and a little more stable after their conversation. Buffy closes her eyes and leans her head against the wall as she considers the Wiccan's words. Quietly wondering if Willow does leave, if Tara would consider moving back into the house, knowing that would be the answer to some of their problems. Not all of them, but some.

Hearing a noise from Willow's room, Buffy stands and walks into the master bedroom, staring silently as Willow throws clothes in her suitcase.

Willow's head snaps up as she sees movement in the door, the anger obvious on her face as she eyes Buffy. "I'm leaving, so save your breath. This is what you want, so this is what you're going to get." Willow pulls out a drawer and dumps it in the suitcase before dropping the empty drawer on the floor.

"Nobody made you do this, Willow." Buffy comments softly, watching as Willow throws items into her suitcases. "You can't right all the wrongs with magic. Sometimes just talking about what's wrong is the best and easiest cure out of everything. I don't want to lose your friendship, but I ask you to please stay away from here, until you get the magic under control. I can't have Dawn being exposed to this…addiction you have. She just got her cast removed two weeks ago, if you go on another magic bender, she may not make it out alive. I can't risk her." Buffy explains quietly, watching as Willow snarls at her.

"Whatever!" Willow hisses in anger at the slayer. "Have YOUR precious house back. With YOUR family and friends. We're no longer friends, and I won't be back." Willow growls angrily as she picks up the suitcases, carrying them out of the room.

"I'll get boxes and pack up the rest of your things for you to get later." Buffy sadly offers, feeling like a part of her is disappearing with the redheads leaving.

"Don't bother. Anything that's left you can throw away." Willow growls as she stomps down the stairs, stopping for a moment to stare at Tara. "Didn't trust me, so you had to bounce my spell back to me, huh?"

"Nothing would have happened if you hadn't tried to do magic on me." Tara quietly offers, seeing the anger in Willow's eyes and the hatred growing there. Quickly placing the spell back around her and, in turn, Dawn. Tara waits silently to see what Willow does.

Willow's eyes darken at her ex-lover before she snarls her lip and slams out of the house.

Tara let's out the breath she'd unconsciously been holding and closes her eyes in relief, letting the protection spell dissipate.

Buffy sits down on the steps, dropping her head into her hands. "How come I feel like that's the calm before the storm?" Buffy questions softly, not really expecting an answer.

"Because it is." Tara sighs, looking up at Buffy as Buffy snaps her head up to gaze at her.

"She's not going to let it go. It was in her eyes, she's trying to think of a way to get what she wants." Tara whispers, her eyes worried.

"So not gonna happen." Buffy growls shaking her head. "You did a protection to keep her magic from hurting you can't you do something a little more permanent?" Buffy questions, her hand reaching up for the necklace Tara had made to help her with Spike.

Tara's eyes gaze down to Buffy's neck, watching her touch the necklace she'd made as the idea slowly works its way around her head, Tara hesitantly nods, a small smile crossing her face. "Great idea, sweetie. I definitely think it's doable. I might have to research it some, but I think it's feasible."

Dawn looks from Tara to her sister and back. "Umm?" She hesitantly whispers, blushing lightly as both women turn to look at her. "Does this mean Tara can move back in?"

"If she wants to move in, I'd be happy for her to be back in her home." Buffy quietly answers Dawn, putting emphasis on her home, while her eyes stay fixed on Tara, letting her know that this house is her home also.

Tara swallows the tears threatening to break from her eyes at the pleading look in Buffy's and the obvious phrasing of her sentence. "I…" Tara's eyes unconsciously lift up to the ceiling where the master bedroom is, feeling uncomfortable at the thought of sleeping in the room she had shared with Willow.

Buffy frowns, trying to figure out what the Wiccan's hang-up is when she notices Tara's eyes shift to the ceiling, as the light bulb kicks on, Buffy quickly speaks. "We can swap out, if that's a problem. I'll take you being here any way I can, Tara. Switching rooms would so not be a problem." Buffy explains quietly, watching as blue eyes shift back down to look at her.

"Are you sure you'd want me to move back in?" Tara hesitantly questions, her eyes serious.

"Yes." Buffy answers simply. "Selfish reasons in force, also." Buffy smiles briefly.

"Please." Dawn whispers, looking at Tara as she shifts to sit beside the Wiccan. "Please say you'll move back in."

"I can be on the phone in two seconds flat calling Xander to come take us to your dorm to pack up and move your stuff." Buffy offers, leaning towards the kitchen.

"You don't have to do that." Tara blushes lightly, shaking her head. "If you've had Xander keep up on the maintenance on the Jeep, I can drive."

Buffy frowns looking at Tara. "When did you get your license?"

"Right after I moved out." Tara admits quietly. "I thought that I would probably need it in the future, so I had a friend at the college teach me to drive, and they let me use their vehicle to take the test in."

"Do we want to do this now, or in the morning?" Buffy questions smiling. "You can stay the night, I'll go ahead and get my stuff out of my bedroom tonight and then we can go pack you up first thing in the morning."

"You're moving back in?" Dawn allows a smile to start to cross her face at Tara's hesitant nod. "YIPPEEE!!" Dawn yells, hugging Tara to her tightly.

Tara laughs, her eyes looking over at the obviously pleased smile of the slayer. "Thanks for letting me come back home." Tara whispers, her meaning obvious to Buffy.

Buffy smiles and nods her head. "It's where you belong." Buffy narrows her gaze to get her point across, smiling again as Tara nods her head in understanding.


Chapter 3

Tara stands with her hands on her hips looking into the empty cabinets, frowning heavily.

Buffy walks into the kitchen and stops as she sees what Tara sees. "None of the rest of us know how to cook, so I usually just bring something home from work or stop somewhere and pick it up." Buffy admits quietly, feeling guilty.

"That doesn't mean you can't at least keep soups and vegetables on hand for something to eat. You guys need fruits also, and you don't have to cook them." Tara explains quietly, shaking her head. "How about you and Dawn work on getting you moved into the master bedroom, and I'll take the Jeep to go get some groceries?"

Buffy looks up from where she'd been looking down at her feet. "You don't have to do that, Tara. I'll go to the grocery store."

"Don't argue with me, Buffy. I know the DMP is closed on Sundays, and you don't normally get a full weekend off, so just work on moving your stuff so we can get my items tomorrow morning and get me moved it. I'll run to the store and pick up the groceries, it isn't that big a deal. I'd rather you two start having good nutritious meals instead of pizza, Chinese or greasy hamburgers all the time." Tara shakes her head sighing quietly at the slayer.

Buffy picks up the keys of the hook, and hands them to Tara. "Let me go get the money for the groceries." Buffy whispers as she starts to turn to head back upstairs, but stops when Tara's hand grasps her arm gently.

"I got it, sweetie." Tara squeezes Buffy's arm, smiling at her. "I'm going to go ahead and run by campus also, to grab something to change into. I'll be back in a little while, try and keep a calm head with Dawn. She's wanting to try and do good, and this might help her."

"Your being here will help all of us." Buffy more breathes the words than says them before leaving the kitchen.

Tara watches Buffy walk out of the room, sighing quietly. "Me most of all, Buffy." Tara whispers.

Buffy smiles as she hears Tara's whispered comment, knowing the Wiccan didn't mean for her to as she heads towards the stairs. "Come on, munchkin. Help me get moved."

Dawn's eyes light up and she jumps up to follow Buffy up the stairs.


Tara grabs a couple bags and heads towards the front door, juggling the items so she can knock.

"Here, let me get that." Buffy quickly takes a couple bags from Tara before turning back to the kitchen setting them on the island. "Is there more?" Buffy chuckles quietly as Tara nods, grinning at her. "I'll get them, if you want to start putting them away."

"You might want to yell for Dawn to help." Tara calls after Buffy as she turns around, grabbing cold items to put in the refrigerator and freezer.

"DAWN! Can you come help me unload the Jeep?" Buffy calls from the bottom of the stairs as she hears Dawn come running, Buffy turns and strides toward the back of the Jeep, stopping to stare at the back piled up with groceries and a bag of clothes for Tara.

"Did she buy out the whole store?" Dawn whispers as she notices the back seat flipped down and groceries piled high.

"She may have." Buffy shook her head, never remembering seeing that much food at one time. "I know we didn't have anything in the house…" Buffy sighs before grabbing an armful of bags to carry inside.

"I don't think we'll have to worry about going hungry this week." Dawn giggles as she grabs some bags, following Buffy into the house.

"We're talking later." Buffy growls at Tara as she sets her bags down before turning around and walking back out of the kitchen.

Tara frowns after the slayer, turning her gaze on Dawn. "What did I do?"

"Obviously it's about the groceries." Dawn shrugs, grinning as she skips out of the room.

Tara sighs, rolling her eyes. "I like to eat too, you know!" Tara grumbles as she looks quickly through the grocery bags grabbing out more cold items to put away.


Tara chuckles quietly as she watches Buffy sit down on the floor to put away the canned vegetables and soups that she'd bought. "What do you want for dinner tonight, sweetie?" Tara questions quietly as she finishes putting away the chips and munchies.

"Ummm." Buffy looks up, grinning hugely.

"Hmmm. Let me guess…" Tara taps her finger against her chin as she tilts her head. "Breaded pork chops, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese and maybe salad?" Tara's eyes twinkle as she looks down at the slayer.

"Throw in some peas and I'll be a happy slayer." Buffy chuckles as she grabs a can of peas and sets it on the counter.

"Done deal." Tara laughs quietly as she gather's all the empty bags, folding them up and taking them to the garage.

Buffy finishes placing the vegetables in the cabinet, before popping up and shutting the doors. Opening the refrigerator, she chuckles at the packed appliance before she grabs out the items for the salad.

"What are you doing, sweetie?" Tara questions as she closes the door behind her, reaching in to grab a bottle of water and setting the bag of potatoes down on the counter.

"I was going to go ahead and make the salad." Buffy admits smiling. "I may not be able to cook, but I can do the prep work."

"Hmmm. I still wonder how you got the job at the DMP." Tara jokes quietly as she grabs the peeler out of the drawer.

"For some reason you don't have to know how to cook to work there. They never asked." Buffy chuckles as she rinses off the head of Romaine and other vegetables before setting the items on the island. Accepting the cutting board and knife from Tara, she places them on the island before grabbing down a big bowl to make the salad in.

Tara laughs as she grabs the trash can, bringing it over to the other side of the island, sitting down and peeling potatoes, so she can place them in the sink to rinse off before cutting them up to throw in a pot to cook.

Buffy glances up to watch as Tara smiles as she peels potatoes. "I never would have thought potato peeling is fun." Buffy raises an eyebrow at the grin on Tara's face.

"No, but being home, is." Tara grins and winks at Buffy before turning her gaze back towards the potatoes. "I saw something on the notice board the other day that you might be interested in." Tara starts softly.

Buffy looks up watching Tara as she stops peeling to look at her. "Go ahead."

Tara quirks her lip. "They're looking for someone to teach a self-defense class at the college. If it goes over well, they're actually planning on it being a year round course, that way people can come all the time, not just during the school year. They've had a lot of requests for it."

Buffy blinks in surprise at Tara. "Huh." Buffy tilts her head considering the thought.

"I just kind of thought it would be right up your alley. And it's my understanding that they will pay pretty well for a qualified person." Tara's lip quirks up even higher, her eyes twinkling.

"I'm definitely qualified." Buffy rolls her eyes. "The only thing is, I don't really have paperwork or anything stating I am."

Tara purses her lips as she glances back down at her potatoes, going back to peeling them.

Buffy narrows her gaze at the Wiccan. "What's that look for?"

Tara lifts her head hesitantly to look at Buffy, before sighing quietly. "I'm afraid I might have done something that may make you mad at me." Tara admits quietly, dropping her gaze to look back at the potato in her hands. "I called Mr. Giles after I saw the notice, for him to get the Watcher's Council to send you any and all necessary paperwork to say you're qualified to teach the self-defense course. I had it sent to my box at the college." Tara whispers as she reaches to her personal bag she'd left on the counter, opening it and pulling a thick envelope out, placing it off to the side of Buffy. "If you go to the Admin building on Monday morning and see Mr. Roberts, he's aware you're coming."

Buffy drops the knife on the cutting board as she stares in disbelief at the Wiccan before wiping her hands on the dishtowel and picking up the envelope, gently opening the seal. Pulling the papers out, she quickly reads over the glowing recommendations sent by different Council members about how she was a wonderful student, and proved herself to work well with others. Snorting quietly as she continues to read all the bullshit the Council wrote, Buffy looks at the documents stating she was a fourth degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do along with other degrees in other disciplines. Slowly folding the papers back up and placing them back in the envelope, she slowly raises her eyes to Tara who has her head tilted down and her hair covering her face. "How?" Buffy simply questions.

Tara bites her lip as she lifts her head and tilts it to look at Buffy, considering the slayer and giving her a partial truth. "I gave Mr. Giles some incentive to use with the Watcher's Council. Also, a not so subtle hint that if they know what's good for them, they should think about being more helpful with you. He was going to talk with them about paying you, but he wasn't too optimistic about that."

Buffy nods her head as she stands to walk around the island, taking the peeler and potato out of Tara's hands before wrapping the Wiccan up in a tight hug. "Thank you." Buffy whispers softly, the tears falling from her eyes.

Tara chuckles quietly, relaxing and hugging Buffy back. "I was afraid you were going to be mad at me." Tara squeezes Buffy strongly as Buffy laughs.

"Yeah. Let's see here. The woman that I just got to move back into the house, that just stocked the kitchen, made it possible for me to get a job somewhere other than the grease factory and even went to bat with the Watcher's Council for me to get money from them. Like I'm really going to be mad at you for trying to help me." Buffy shakes her head, sighing quietly.

"But I overstepped my bounds, Buffy and I know I did." Tara admits quietly, closing her eyes as she rubs her cheek against the slayer's strong shoulder. "I didn't have the right to do what I did, but I did it anyway."

Buffy growls quietly. "First off, you didn't hurt me in any way, Tara. Secondly, you did what you did to help me out. Thirdly, if I don't want to, I don't have to do anything with what you gave me. I could just ignore it like it never happened and continue working at the Palace for minimum wage and multiple shampoo's rinses and repeats. Everything you did, you did to help me, and I still have the choice, even though my choice is to be at the admin building first thing Monday morning. What time's your first class Monday?' Buffy chuckles as she feels the laughter bubbling up out of the Wiccan before it makes it out of her mouth.

"Nine o'clock." Tara lifts up her head and places a kiss on Buffy's cheek before sighing quietly in relief. "Thank you, sweetie. I'm glad I didn't make you mad, but when I saw the letter there in my box, I knew I had to tell you. I was afraid they wouldn't come through, that's why I didn't say something earlier."

"Good. Then you can give me a ride to the campus." Buffy grins at Tara, her eyes drawn to the Wiccan's full lips as they smile at her. Mentally shaking her head, Buffy releases Tara and walks back over to her side of the island to finish fixing the salad.

"How was Dawnie after I left?" Tara questions softy as she finishes peeling the potatoes, rinsing them off before grabbing another cutting board and knife out.

"She was pretty good, actually. She talked non-stop about you being back here. You pretty much made her day agreeing to move back in." Buffy admits softly as she covers the bowl and places it in the refrigerator. "Do you want me to get anything out of here?"

"Go ahead and pull out the pork chops, please." Tara smiles as she cuts the potatoes.

"Want me to get a pot out and fill it with water?" Buffy nods towards the potatoes, smiling at the witch.

"Please. Thank you." Tara grins as she finishes cutting the potatoes as Buffy places the filled pot on the stove. "Go ahead and turn it on for me, please."

"Ummm. How high?" Buffy questions as she turns on the burner.

"Medium/high heat for now." Tara laughs quietly. "I'm going to have to teach you how to cook, aren't I?"

"If you don't always want to be the one cooking." Buffy nods her agreement as she turns back to Tara, chuckling. "I can open cans of soup and nuke them in the microwave."

"That's good to know." Tara's eyes twinkle as she stands, carrying the potatoes over to the stove, gently sliding them into the water before adding some salt. Grabbing another pot and filling it with water, Tara puts it on the stove to start boiling as she grabs down the macaroni noodles. "I picked up this new chicken/rib rub that would probably be pretty good on the pork chops. Do you want to try it?" Tara questions quietly as she pulls the rub down, handing it to the slayer.

Buffy opens the container, sniffing it delicately, smiling at the smell. "I'm game."

Tara chuckles quietly. "How come I get this feeling you'll try anything, as long as it's not your own cooking?"

"Not nice." Buffy pouts, her eyes twinkling. "But very, very true."

Tara laughs, and tosses the dish towel at the slayer. "Okay, kitchen minion…" Tara grins as Buffy laughs. "Open the packages of chops." Tara opens the cabinet and pulls out two large cookie sheets, spraying them with cooking spray before setting them on the island. "Now, GENTLY sprinkle the seasoning over the top of the pork chops, placing that side down on the pan, working your way through all the chops, then sprinkle the other side."

"Gently, gently." Buffy shakes the container gently, sticking her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she grabs the pork chop and places it seasoning side down on the pan, looking up at Tara.

Tara bites her lip to keep from laughing at the slayer. "Very good, continue with the rest of the pork chops. Leave a little space between them." Turning back to the oven, Tara turns it on so it can preheat.

"You're letting her cook?" Dawn's eyes are wide as she watches her sister coating the pork chops.

"Supervised cooking." Buffy mumbles. "She ain't trusting me with the oven, yet. I'm just the kitchen minion for now." Buffy works on placing the last of the pork chops on the cookie sheets before shaking the seasoning over the side facing up.

Tara's eyes twinkle merrily as she crosses her arms over her chest, watching Buffy as she carefully finishes shaking seasoning over the last pork chop before looking up at her with a grin on her face. "Looks good, sweetie." Tara chuckles as she takes the pans, placing them in the oven as Buffy stands up to wash her hands and put away the seasoning.

"You bought a couple loaves of French bread, didn't you?" Buffy questions hopefully, remembering the bread sticking out of one of the bags.

"Yes, I did. I figured we could have one with dinner tonight." Tara laughs quietly as she checks the potatoes. "If you want, you can open the peas and put them in a microwave safe container with a little dab of butter in it, for us to microwave when it gets closer to being time to eat dinner."

"'Kay." Buffy grins happily as she grabs out the can opener and a bowl. Quickly opening the can of peas, she dumps them in the container before opening the refrigerator and grabbing out the butter. "Should I go ahead and leave the butter out for dinner, that way it'll soften some?"

"That would be perfect, sweetie." Tara smiles as Buffy puts the peas in the microwave. Going to sit down, Tara grunts quietly as Buffy turns and bumps in her.

Buffy grabs Tara around the waist to keep her from falling back. "God! I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, slayer reflexes kept me from falling on my ass." Tara laughs, patting Buffy's arm gently.

"Slayer was the one that almost put you on your ass." Buffy grumbles as she slowly removes her hands. "Sorry."

"It's okay. No harm done." Tara chuckles as she sits down, watching Buffy curiously as the slayer gets this questioning look on her face.

Buffy sits down across from Tara and returns her gaze for a moment. "Can I ask you a question?" Buffy nibbles on the inside of her lip.

"I believe you just did." Tara smirks as Buffy looks confused for a moment before growling playfully at her.

"Okay multiple questions, then." Buffy sticks her tongue out at the Wiccan, before grinning. "I noticed something, which may just be me not being very observant about this type of thing, but…" Buffy hesitates frowning.

Tara raises an eyebrow at the slayer. "Buffy, just spit it out, it's easier that way."

"Yeah, it is. But I don't want to sound like a total idiot." Buffy finally admits, sighing. "Have you like lost some serious weight?"

Tara blushes lightly shaking her head. "I've lost a few pounds, but not so much lost weight as re-distributed it." Tara blushes even darker as Buffy frowns, the confusion obvious on her face. "I've been hitting the gym and track at the college. Haven't had much of anything else to do with my time the last few months." Tara shrugs, embarrassed.

"You've been working out." Buffy finally realizes what Tara's saying. "How much running have you been doing?" Buffy thinks back to the night before and the muscle tone on the Wiccan.

"I try to do five miles a day every morning and then some more in the afternoon if I have time, and weather permitting. Other than that I hit the gym and the weight machines." Tara whispers softly.

"You missed your run this morning." Buffy blinks at the Wiccan as she turns her gaze to the clock.

"I'll get up early tomorrow and get in some extra miles." Tara tilts her head forward, her hair covering her embarrassment.

"How early?" Buffy allows a small grin to cross her face at the Wiccan's embarrassment.

"Probably around 6:00." Tara glances up quickly.

"I'd say that you would probably be able to run circles around me right now, but would you like a running partner in the mornings? I really should start working out more, I've been kind of lax on that part of it." Buffy admits, sighing quietly.

"You are more than welcome to join me anytime you want. It's not like I own the track or anything." Tara chuckles as she relaxes. "I usually stretch out for a good fifteen minutes and the first couple laps I just jog around the track, warming up before I kick up the pace. You'll probably go faster than I do, so you don't have to go slow for me."

"I won't be going slow, I'll be doing my best to keep up with you." Buffy grins at the Wiccan. "What else did you pick up while you were at the dorm?"

"My magic books. I wanted to research a spell, see if there's something in there that I can use to make my own magical charm." Tara sighs quietly as she tucks her hair behind her ear before clasping her hands in front of her.

"Don't blame yourself, Tara. She made her own decisions." Buffy whispers, covering the blonde's hands with one of hers. "You didn't make her do what she did." Buffy sighs looking down, shaking her head. "I feel to blame, because if it wasn't for me, she never would have known about magic to begin with. Her wanting to help in the fight, ultimately led to her addiction." Buffy pulls her hand away and stands, walking over to the door, looking outside. "My calling has caused everyone more pain and heartache than I ever would have wished." Buffy tilts her head forward, closing her eyes.

Tara swallows hard and slowly stands, walking the short distance to gently wrap her arms around Buffy, tilting her head against the slayers. "Don't, Buffy. Your calling and their being your friends has kept them alive. If it wasn't for that, they'd probably be dead or vampires by now. If it wasn't for you, this world would probably be overrun with demon kind. Please don't blame yourself for whatever has happened."

Buffy sighs quietly. "But if it wasn't for me, you and Willow would probably still be together because she never would have done the spell on you."

"If it wasn't for you, I never would have met Willow to begin with." Tara whispers. "She wouldn't have had any reason to be at the Wiccan meeting, where we first met. And if we hadn't met, and became lovers, I never would have gotten to know you, Xander, Dawn, Anya and your mother. My life has become so much more than it was, Buffy. So, take the blame for that." Tara places a gentle kiss on Buffy's shoulder before squeezing the slayer in her arms once more before releasing her. "I need to check on the food."

Buffy silently considers the Wiccan's words for a few moments, seeing the truth in them, but still feeling guilty to a degree, knowing that she probably always will. Moving to lean against the refrigerator, Buffy leans against it watching as Tara drains the potatoes, setting the pot on a pot holder before draining and rinsing the macaroni noodles.

"Can you get the milk, two more sticks of butter and cheese out of the refrigerator, please?" Tara glances at Buffy before turning back to the potatoes, mashing them partially before grabbing the salt and pepper, seasoning the potatoes before accepting the items from Buffy.

"Is there anything I can do?" Buffy questions quietly, watching Tara drop one of the sticks into the pot of potatoes as she grabs out the mixer, mixing the milk into the potatoes.

"If you want to slice up the Velveeta cheese for me to use, I'd appreciate it." Tara states quietly as she finishes the potatoes, grabbing a container down to put them in before running hot water in the pot.

"Is this enough?" Buffy questions after she slices almost half the big block of Velveeta.

Tara chuckles quietly. "Do you like your macaroni and cheese, cheesy?" Tara's eyes twinkle at the slayer.

"Yes, ma'am." Buffy grins at the pile of cheese.

"It's enough." Tara gently bumps Buffy with her hips to get her to move. Putting the macaroni back on the stove, Tara drops a part of the other stick of butter in the macaroni as she stirs it quickly, letting it melt before tossing the cheese in, stirring constantly.

"Want me to stir it?" Buffy offers, accepting the spoon from Tara and stirring the cheese as Tara adds a splash of milk.

"Can you continue to stir while I check the pork chops?" Tara questions, smiling briefly as Buffy shifts out from in front of the stove. Opening it, Tara pulls them out quickly and sets them on the heat pads she'd placed on the counter earlier. Tara checks the chops before turning the oven off.

"Dawn, can you come set the dining room table?" Tara calls softly as she pulls the salad out of the refrigerator along with dressings.

Dawn comes bouncing in, moaning as she sees her sister at the stove. "You promised she wasn't getting anywhere near the stove!!"

"She's doing fine." Tara smacks Dawn on the butt gently. "Behave, or you don't get to eat dinner!"

"Okay." Dawn pouts, before giggling as she grabs plates and silverware. "Bowls for the salad?"

"Please." Tara nods as she swaps out the peas and places the potatoes in the microwave, kicking it on. Grabbing the salad and bread, she quickly takes it into the dining room as Dawn comes back in for the bowls.

Buffy bites her lip looking at the macaroni and cheese. "I think this is all melted, is that what you wanted?"

"Yes, melted cheese is of the good." Tara jokes looking over Buffy's shoulder, unintentionally pressing her body into Buffy's' back. "That's good, sweetie." Tara reaches up to grab a bowl down. "Place it in there, please." Tara grabs down a large plate for the pork chops.

Buffy bites her lip as Tara's body presses into her, the warmth of the Wiccan seeping into her body, making her want to press back into Tara. Mentally shaking her head at the feelings working through her, Buffy scoops the macaroni and cheese into the bowl Tara set down. "What do you want to drink?" Buffy questions as she turns to the refrigerator grabbing the milk out and filling a glass for herself.

"Water, please." Tara grabs the macaroni and cheese and pork chops. "Sweetie, can you put the peas in and heat them up?"

"Yeah." Buffy nods her head as she grabs a water for Tara, setting it on the counter before turning to the microwave, pulling out the potatoes and placing the peas in. Carrying the potatoes, water and milk, she carries them into the dining room.

Tara runs back into the kitchen, gathering serving spoons and the peas as the microwave goes off, placing the items on the table, she sits down. "Dig in, ladies."

Dawn chuckles as she finishes filling her plate. "Already am."

"I see that, piggy!!" Buffy grumbles, grabbing the pork chops from her and placing three of them on her plate.

"Talk about piggy." Tara reaches out and grabs a chop before Buffy eats them all.

"Am not." Buffy grumbles as she quickly fills her plate, before eating dinner, moaning loudly at the food. "Dawn?"

"Yeah?" Dawn looks up from shoveling some mashed potatoes in her mouth.

"Do you think we can tie her up and keep her here forever?" Buffy wiggles her eyebrows at Dawn.

Dawn laughs, as she glances towards a lightly blushing Tara. "I don't think we'll have to tie her up, but if we ask her nicely, she'll probably stay forever."

"Thank you, Dawnie." Tara chuckles as she shakes her head at Buffy. "That's all you need to do, is ask. If you want something, anything, just ask." Tara grins crookedly at the slayer, her eyes twinkling merrily.

"Anything, huh?" Buffy raises an eyebrow in question, her mind flashing back to Tara being pressed against her, making her blush and look down at her plate.

Tara blinks as Buffy blushes and breaks eye contact, wondering what Buffy's thinking. Deciding to leave Buffy be for the moment, Tara turns her gaze on Dawn. "Do you have any homework you need to get done this weekend?"

Dawn looks up with a deer in the headlights look on her face.

"Tomorrow, you're doing the homework, understand?" Tara raises an eyebrow, looking seriously at the teenager.

"Yes, ma'am." Dawn whispers, looking back down at her plate.

"School's important, sweetie. No more skipping classes or not doing your work. You're a bright girl and I want to see that come through, okay?" Tara smiles softly at the teenager.

"Okay." Dawn allows a small smile to cross her face. "Will you help me if I have any problems?"

"Of course." Tara smiles encouragingly at the teenager. "All you have to do is ask, Dawnie."

"Thank you." Dawn relaxes as she goes back to eating.

The women finish eating dinner, joking and talking.


Chapter 4

"NO!!" Buffy screams as she's in the grip of her nightmare.

Tara rolls out of bed, running to the door, almost plowing into Dawn as she runs out into the hallway.

"They're getting worse." Dawn states worriedly as she follow's Tara to Buffy's door.

"Go to bed, sweetie. I'll help her." Tara murmurs softly, taking a deep breath before she slowly steps into the master bedroom.

Dawn watches Tara worriedly. "Are you sure?" Dawn questions quietly, seeing the worry and pain on the Wiccan's face.

"I am, go to bed." Tara frowns at Dawn, watching as Dawn nods her head and heads back to her room. Turning her gaze back towards the bed as Buffy thrashes back and forth, the slayers face scrunched up in pain and her hands making digging motions. Realizing that Buffy's reliving being resurrected and digging her way out of her grave, Tara whimpers quietly, tears starting to fall from her eyes.

"Easy, Buffy." Tara whispers as she walks to the edge of the bed, watching as Buffy violently tosses and turns. "Buffy, calm down, sweetie. Please let me climb in with you and help you. You've got to calm down for me to come into bed or I'll be a black and blue Wiccan in the morning." Tara continues to talk to the slayer, her words finally sinking into Buffy's subconscious. As soon as Buffy calms down enough, Tara takes a deep breath, thinking about being in the bed Willow and she had shared. Putting those thoughts out of her head, she gently slides in beside Buffy. "Come here and curl up against me, sweetie. Let me help you, please." Tara murmurs softly, gently wrapping her arms around Buffy, urging the slayer to come closer to her. "I'll protect you, sweetie. I'll help you as much as I can, just let me. That's it sweetie, make yourself comfortable."

Tara sighs quietly as Buffy practically climbs on top of her, whimpering in her sleep. As Buffy seems to try and become a part of her, Tara wraps her arms tightly around the slayer, the tears falling silently from her eyes as Buffy buries her face in her neck. "Oh, sweetie. I am so, so sorry for what we did. We never should have done that to you." Tara bites her lip as she strokes up and down the slayer's shaking back, trying to calm her. "Sleep, sweetie. I'm here, love. I'm here." Tara whispers, placing soft kisses to the top of Buffy's head as she continues to stroke up and down the slayer's back as she stares up at the ceiling.

Hearing the slayer's breathing finally calm down and become deep, Tara takes a deep breath in silent thanks. ‘What did we do to you? We had no right to take you out of heaven and leaving you in your casket to dig your way out. How much damage did we do to you, by leaving you there? Goddess, we never, NEVER should have let Willow do the spell.' Tara thinks to herself, the tears slowly working down her face as she considers the slayer curled up on top of her, finally sleeping.

Pressing her lips to the slayer's head, Tara keeps them there as she closes her eyes. ‘Whether you realize it or not, Buffy, you're the reason this house is home. You've come to mean a lot to me over the years, from the moment you stood up to my family, through your breaking down in my lap about what you were doing with Spike, to you being curled up on top of me right now. It started off as friendship, and it's growing into so much more. You've imbedded yourself deep in my heart, and own more of it than you realize. More than you would want, if you knew.' Tara swallows hard as the tears fall silently, her heart aching. Pulling her lips away from the slayer's head, Tara rests her head back on the pillow, continuing to comfort the slayer with her hands stroking gently over Buffy's back.


Buffy frowns as she slowly wakes, not moving as she tries to figure out where she's at. Slowly taking stock of strong, yet gentle hands stroking over her back, to the warmth she feels from the body she's literally lying on. Slowly blinking her eyes open, she lifts her head to look into soft blue eyes, the caring and worry obvious in their depths.

"How are you feeling?" Tara questions hoarsely, her voice rough from spending the last few hours crying off and on. Slowly raising a hand up to push the hair back from Buffy's face and tuck it behind her ear, Tara searches the slayer's hazel eyes.

"Surprisingly enough, well rested." Buffy admits softly, noticing the dried tear tracks on Tara's face, the red eyes, and the circles under the Wiccan's eyes. "More than could be said for you." Buffy sighs, burying her face in Tara's neck, not even thinking about moving from this spot that offers her warmth and comfort. Something that's been sadly lacking for a very long time in her life.

"Do you feel like talking about it?" Tara nibbles on her lip as she feels Buffy stiffen briefly before slowly relaxing again.

"Not really." Buffy whispers shaking her head against Tara's neck sighing quietly. "But I should."

"It might help." Tara whispers, her eyes filling with tears. "Buffy, you don't always have to hold everything in. It's okay to need help and accept it when things get too much for you to handle."

Buffy slowly lifts her head, looking down into Tara's eyes, seeing the tears dangerously close to flowing from the watery blue eyes. "What about you, Tara?" Buffy hoarsely questions. "How much do you hold in? Will you let me help you?"

Tara turns her head and glances away, frowning. "Buffy, you have enough to deal with, without adding my past problems and worries to the list. My stuff is in the past, except for Willow, and you know about her."

Buffy shifts her hand up to gently turn Tara's face towards her. "Will you talk to me, Tara?" Buffy questions softly.

Tara sees the desire to help her, deep in Buffy's eyes, the seriousness and caring. Sighing softly, Tara hesitantly nods her head. "I'll talk, Buffy. But be aware, what I'll tell you probably isn't going to be pretty and there's a good possibility that you're biting off more than you know." Tara closes her eyes, pressing her head back into the pillow. "But not right now, sometime in the future, okay? Let‘s work on helping you, first."

Buffy leans her head back down, gently rubbing her cheek against Tara's neck. "Okay. But first, did you get any sleep last night?"

"A couple hours." Tara strokes a hand over Buffy's hair, sighing softly. "Your screaming in your sleep pretty much woke me and Dawn up. I sent her back to bed then climbed in with you to get you calmed down."

"Can you fall asleep, now?" Buffy realizes where she's lying, before chuckling quietly. "That is, if I get off you."

"Don't." Tara whispers, holding Buffy with her one arm to keep her from moving. "You're fine, sweetie. I don't mind you being there, and you seem comfortable."

"Very." Buffy whispers, shifting her head back down to Tara's neck. "You going to sleep with me every night to help with the nightmares?"

"Yes." Tara answers simply, gently running her fingers up and down Buffy's back.

"I might get to liking this more than I should." Buffy softly states, closing her eyes.

Tara bites her lip before whispering. "Would that be such a bad thing?" Tara shakes her head, regretting the question as soon as it's out of her mouth. "Please ignore the question. What was your nightmare about, sweetie?" Tara tries to sidetrack Buffy.

Buffy slowly lifts her head to look into Tara's blue eyes, seeing the worry that she may have overstepped her bounds. Eyes dropping down to Tara's lips, Buffy looks at the soft, full, pouty lips. Gradually raising her eyes, Buffy searches Tara's eyes silently. "Tara?" Buffy finally questions.

Tara swallows, seeing the silent question and confusion so obvious in the hazel depths. Raising a slightly shaky hand, Tara strokes her fingers gently down Buffy's cheek. "This could complicate matters." Tara gently wets her lips as she continues looking in Buffy's eyes. "We can do this a few different ways, Buffy." Tara closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. "One, we can continue being friends, and ignore the feelings that are between us…or maybe the feelings I have for you since I can‘t say what you feel. Two, we can slowly talk and discuss our feelings with each other. Letting it lead where it will. Or, third…" Tara trails off, sighing quietly.

Buffy watches Tara's lips move as she speaks, raising her eyes back up to look over the Wiccan's face. "Third?" Buffy hoarsely questions.

"You can kiss me." Tara opens her eyes, allowing her feelings to show in their depths.

Buffy inhales deeply as she sees the caring and love that is showing in the blue eyes, along with a hint of fear and worry. "Not just you." Buffy whispers as she shifts up the short distance and kisses Tara softly. Curiously brushing her lips back and forth over the Wiccan's lips, Buffy groans quietly at the softness before pressing more firmly.

Tara whimpers quietly as Buffy captures her bottom lip between her two lips, sucking gently, then teasingly running her tongue over the captured flesh.

Buffy slowly releases Tara's lip, blinking a couple times before looking hesitantly at Tara. "Do you want this…" Buffy hesitates, closing her eyes. "Could you want me?"

Tara feels her heart break at the obvious note of self-disgust coloring Buffy's simple words. "Oh, yes." Tara answers, allowing the love she feels for this broken woman to color her voice. "More than you probably realize. But I don't want to push you into something, or make you think that you'll lose my friendship if you don't. You'll always have me as a friend, Buffy. This can end here, and I won't harbor any ill will towards you."

Buffy buries her face in Tara's neck as she feels the tears easing from her eyes. "You mean it. You would continue as before, being there and helping me and everyone else."

"Yes." Tara whispers quietly, the tears threatening to fall from her own eyes as she feels the slayer's tears trailing down her neck. "I will only want as much as you're willing to give, love. And if all you're willing to give is friendship, I'll be happy with that." Tara presses her lips to Buffy's head, the tears falling as she silently prays that Buffy might want more.

Gradually raising her head, Buffy looks at Tara as the tears slide down the sides of the Wiccan's face. "Do you ever just go after something you want, or do you wait for the other person to decide?"

Tara looks into Buffy's eyes, trying to figure out if Buffy is giving her a not so subtle hint to move this along quicker, or if it's meant as a simple question, spurred on by curiosity. Deciding to throw caution to the wind for once in her life, Tara places her hands on either side of Buffy's face and captures the slayer's lips in a heated kiss, slowly deepening the kiss, her tongue stroking gently back and forth over Buffy's lips, silently asking for entrance.

Buffy whimpers as the Wiccan's lips take control of hers, as she feels Tara's tongue stroking gently, yet firmly over her lips, Buffy moans, granting the inquisitive tongue entrance. Wrapping her hands in Tara's hair, Buffy tilts her head as she meet's Tara stroke for stroke, growling quietly as Tara finally breaks off the kiss after a few long minutes of heated battle. Breathing heavily, Buffy's eyes caress over Tara's kiss swollen lips before rising to look into desire-filled blue eyes, groaning at the obvious love and want gazing at her uncensored.

"I've always waited." Tara admits between pants. "Until now."

"So glad you decided to forget waiting." Buffy growls lowly before diving in, searching out the Wiccan's mouth, loving the sweet flavor of the woman as she swirls her tongue repeatedly around and over Tara's.

Tara nips Buffy's tongue playfully as Buffy slowly brings the kiss to an end. Groaning loudly as Buffy starts to nip and kiss her way over her jaw and down her neck, Tara grasps her shoulder gently, halting her from going any further.

"Was I doing something wrong?" Buffy questions worriedly, as she looks up at Tara.

"Goddess, no!" Tara states adamantly, shaking her head quickly. Closing her eyes, Tara sighs heavily. "I can't, Buffy. Not in here." Tara admits, frowning.

Buffy realizes where they are, groaning and burying her face in Tara's neck. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking of that. It's got to be hard on you just to be in here." Buffy slowly rolls off the protesting Wiccan. Throwing her arm over her eyes, Buffy slowly gets her desire under control.

"I'm sorry, Buffy." Tara shifts up in the bed, pulling her knees to her chest as she wraps her arms around her legs. Burying her face against her knees, Tara whimpers quietly. "Don't blame yourself, it's my hang up."

"I would say we could go back to your room to continue this, but I think the mood has been killed." Buffy moves to kneel in front of Tara, gently urging the Wiccan to lift her head from her knees. "Maybe taking a step back and giving us a chance to regroup isn't such a bad idea, right now. But I just have to do this before we get ready to go running." Buffy leans in, kissing Tara softly, brushing her lips repeatedly against the fuller lips of the Wiccan before sucking first the top lip, then the bottom lip. Finally ending the kiss, Buffy tilts her forehead against Tara's. "You still want to go running?"

Inhaling deeply and slowly letting the air out, Tara allows a small smile to cross her face as she nods her head. "It's good for getting out pent-up frustrations."

"Talking while running also builds up your lung capacity." Buffy suggests softly, searching Tara's eyes, smiling quickly.

Tara bites her lip as she slowly smiles. "I didn't scare you off?" Tara questions, sighing in relief as Buffy shakes her head. "Thank the Goddess for you, Buffy." Tara whispers closing the distance and kissing Buffy firmly.

"No, thank Her for you." Buffy whispers, wrapping her arms around Tara, hugging her tightly. "You're our anchor in this stormy sea we call a life." Buffy admits softly. "Let's get situated and go running."

Tara smiles briefly as Buffy bounces off the bed. Chuckling at Buffy's exuberance, Tara eases off the bed, quickly making it before walking towards her room.

"Tara?" Buffy questions hesitantly watching Tara leave. As Tara stops and turns questioning eyes on her, Buffy slowly closes the distance between them. "Do you…can you…" Buffy looks down taking a deep, calming breath. "Could you possibly care for me?" Buffy finally spits out softly.

Tara reaches out, lifting the slayer's chin so she can look at the slayer. "I already do, Buffy. I've loved you as a friend for years." Tara admits quietly, brushing her thumb gently over Buffy's cheek. "And I'm falling in love with you." Tara whispers before brushing her lips over Buffy's. "I'm going to go get ready for our running date."

Buffy feels a happy smile crossing her face as Tara strides out of the bedroom, towards her room. "Whether you realize it or not, when you told Dawn you're irresistible, you were right on the money." Buffy whispers, her heart beating strongly in her chest as she shuts the door stripping quickly and dressing in a track suit.


Tara slows down to a walk, the sweat pouring from her as she glances ahead at the slayer running quickly around the track, shaking her head at Buffy's never-ending energy. Threading her fingers together behind her head, Tara continues walking, letting her heart rate slow down gradually.

Buffy slows down, panting heavily as she finishes running an extra couple miles, catching up to Tara, walking beside the slightly taller woman.

Tara turns her gaze on Buffy, smirking at Buffy's grinning countenance. "That make you feel better?"

"Surprisingly enough, yeah, it has." Buffy nods her head, bending down to stretch out her leg muscles before continuing to walk with Tara, kicking her legs out to keep them from cramping up. "I'm probably going to pay for it later, but I think it'll be worth it." Buffy admits quietly.

"So, does this mean I'm going to get a running partner in the mornings from now on?" Tara quirks her lip as they slowly walk around the track again.

"Hmmm. Depends." Buffy follow's Tara as they make their way back towards the college campus.

"Depends on what?" Tara raises an eyebrow in question, smiling as she notices Buffy's more relaxed, carefree attitude.

"Whether or not you would like to have a running partner." Buffy turns her gaze on Tara, smiling shyly.

"I'll take you as a partner…running partner any day." Tara's eyebrows waggle, and she laughs as Buffy blushes. "Come on, honey. Let's head to my dorm and take showers before loading up my stuff to take back home." Tara's eyes light up as she mentions the word home.

Buffy gradually closes the distance between the two of them, so their knuckles brush against each other as they walk, smiling as Tara laces their fingers together, squeezing gently. Buffy squeezes back, smiling as they walk through the quad and into Tara's dorm.

"Here." Tara grabs her shower kit and a couple towels, handing them to Buffy. "Go ahead, sweetie. I'll start gathering my stuff together."

"Damn. I didn't think about getting boxes for you to put your stuff in." Buffy frowns as she mentally kicks herself.

"I still have the majority of the boxes from when I moved back in." Tara admits quietly as she pushes the closet door all the way open, showing the boxes piled in the corner. "I didn't even unpack some of them." Tara shakes her head, her blue eyes sad.

"Worse comes to worse, bundle up stuff in sheets and I'll carry them out." Buffy grasps Tara's shoulder, gently squeezing. "I never should have let you move out, Tara. I know something would have had to be done sleeping arrangement wise, but you shouldn't have had to give up your home."

Tara cover's Buffy's hand, shaking her head. "I wouldn't have been able to stay there with her, Buffy. I knew when I moved out that we were through, and if I had stayed, she would have thought I would want to get back together with her. So, please don‘t worry about it. It isn‘t your fault, and honestly, I think what‘s happened may have been for the best." Tara‘s lip quirks up as she looks into Buffy‘s questioning eyes. "Gave us a chance to become closer."

"And hopefully a chance to become closer still." Buffy whispers, unable to stop herself as she leans in, capturing Tara's lips with hers, kissing the Wiccan softly for a few moments, before easing back. "God! Those lips." Buffy whimpers before quickly turning and leaving the room.

Tara watches Buffy leave, chuckling quietly as she nibbles on her bottom lip. "You're a pretty damn good kisser yourself, slayer." Tara's eyes twinkle merrily as she quickly starts pulling items out of the closet, putting the empty boxes on the bed and the unpacked ones by the door.

Starting with the small items, Tara gradually fills the boxes, glancing up as Buffy walks in, running a towel roughly over her hair. "There's a hair dryer in the bottom drawer, if you want."

"No, it's okay. It'll just be a little wavier." Buffy grins before she grabs the brush out of the shower kit, quickly brushing her hair as she watches Tara quickly and efficiently finish filling one of the boxes. "Why don't you go and shower and I'll work on filling up some more boxes? That is if you don't have anything that'll embarrass you that you wouldn't want me to see." Buffy jokes.

"Stay away from this nightstand drawer, then." Tara pats the nightstand by her, wiggling her eyebrows, before laughing as Buffy blushes. "And I'm saying that, not because it'll embarrass me, but because I have a feeling it may embarrass you." Tara chuckles as she gathers a change of clothes, towels and her shower kit.

"What happened to the shy, retiring Wiccan that I used to know?" Buffy questions softly, her eyes following Tara's movements, still feeling the heat from her flushed cheeks.

"I'm still shy." Tara whispers softly. "At least in front of a group of people. With someone that I love, and feel completely at ease with? Not so shy." Tara admits, her eyes twinkling as she gazes at Buffy for a few moments, letting it sink in before leaving the room.

"Oh, God!" Buffy whimpers staring at the partially closed door. "How come I have this very serious feeling that the innocent looking Wiccan is a sex kitten in disguise?" Buffy questions the empty room, before shaking her head out of the mental images working their way through her brain to start packing away Tara's stuff, her eyes lighting on the drawer, wonderingly. Sighing, Buffy gently pulls Tara's clothes from the drawers, placing them in one of the larger boxes.

"So, did you pack away my toy drawer, or did you leave it for me?" Tara grins crookedly at Buffy as she walks back into the dorm room, gently rubbing a towel over the ends of her hair.

"Are you serious?" Buffy whispers, her eyes glancing towards the drawer, a hint of disbelief in her tones.

"Actually, yes." Tara laughs quietly. "Just a couple little items, nothing major."

"How can you be so…open about this?" Buffy shakes her head, still trying to wrap her mind around Tara having that type of thing.

Tara slowly walks towards Buffy, running a finger gently down her cheek as she becomes serious. "Buffy, making love should be very open and comfortable with your partner. It isn't something dirty or to be hidden away. You should be able to discuss what you want or what you like with your partner, that way you and him or her is completely satisfied." Tara searches Buffy's eyes for a few minutes, letting that sink in before continuing softly. "Now that I said that, I think when a couple are first together, learning each other by trial and error are part of the fun of being together and making love. Maybe find some stuff out together of what you like, that you may not have been aware of before. Like someone that you thought would never be interested in you because they are completely and irrevocably straight." Tara swallows hard, her eyes showing the slight insecurity she feels.

"Maybe not as straight as either one of us thought." Buffy whispers back as she reaches up to run both hands gently through Tara's hair. "I just found myself realizing how beautiful you were the other night. Then I kept wanting to focus in on your lips, wondering what they would feel like. And you know what?" Buffy glances back up from where her eyes had settled on Tara's lips.

"What?" Tara feels her heart beat faster at the obvious caring and budding love showing in Buffy's eyes.

"They feel and taste better than anything I could have ever imagined, and I can't help but want to feel and taste them again." Buffy closes the distance, kissing Tara softly before capturing the Wiccan's bottom lip between both of hers, sucking gently.

Groaning into Buffy's mouth, Tara drops the towel in her hands and wraps both arms around Buffy's waist, pulling the slayer in tight against her body, quickly deepening the kiss. As both women slowly break away, Tara tilts her head against Buffy's, panting heavily. "You know that us being together is probably going to make Willow worse."

Buffy gently nods her head against Tara's. "I'm going to call Giles when we get back home. See if he has any ideas as to what to do with Willow or for her. Kind of off tangent, but can you re-do the vamp-lock on the house?" Buffy questions softly.

"Of course." Tara closes her eyes, holding Buffy tightly. "I have everything we'll need for it here. I'll do it as soon as we get back home."

"Thank you." Buffy shifts her head, tucking it into Tara's neck, inhaling deeply of the Wiccan's sent. Closing her eyes as the light vanilla fragrance, with the Wiccan's earthy smell combine to make her mouth almost salivate at the smell. Pressing her lips to the Wiccan's pulse point, Buffy smirks as she feels the pounding pick up speed at the simple caress. Opening her mouth, Buffy sucks softly on the skin before releasing it and laving it with her tongue, inhaling deeply of the stronger scent of Tara's arousal.

"Goddess, Buffy!" Tara whimpers, finally sighing as Buffy stops teasing her. "Miss Straight is definitely showing that she knows how to make a Wiccan's heart pound with the utmost ease."

Buffy smiles into Tara's neck. "Glad to know I'm doing something right."

"More than right, and if we don't get this stuff packed up and taken out to the Jeep, I'm going to throw you on the bed and see how quickly I can make your blood pump through your heart." Tara growls quietly, her hands sliding down to cup Buffy's ass firmly. "And I'll do it time and time again!"

Buffy whimpers loudly, clenching her butt cheeks as Tara's fingers dig in gently. "If you're expecting an argument from me, you're not going to get one."

Tara chuckles quietly before shifting her head down to nip playfully at Buffy's neck. "I have to admit you're being very relaxed about us. And being with a woman, Buffy."

"It's you." Buffy admits quietly, closing her eyes as Tara places soft kisses up and down her neck. "I know that you would never hurt me, Tara. If anything, you'll take whatever pain and heartache on yourself, to save me from it."

Tara nods her head briefly in agreement with the slayer's words. "Let's go home, sweetie. I'd rather not get there and have Dawnie completely destroyed the kitchen fixing herself something to eat for breakfast."

"Oh, God!" Buffy frowns heavily as she thinks about Dawn. "She's going to be SO pissed about you and me being together."

"Why? I would think she might be happy for us." Tara pulls back to look at Buffy, the confusion obvious on her face.

"Because I always run or scare off people that I love. She knows that, and will figure I'll fuck up our relationship and run you off." Buffy admits, groaning.

"Let me worry about Dawn, Buffy." Tara places a soft kiss on the slayer's forehead. "Let's get the rest of my stuff packed up and take it to the Jeep, sweetie."

"Okay." Buffy takes a deep, calming breath, smiling hesitantly as she backs away from Tara, her eyes lighting on the drawer. Quirking her eyebrow up with a devilish glint in her eyes, Buffy walks towards the nightstand, her hand on the drawer.

Tara grins crookedly, a daring glint in her eyes. "Go ahead, Buffy. If you dare." Tara smirks at the slayer, crossing her arms over her chest while watching Buffy.

"I think you're pulling my leg." Buffy admits as she slowly opens the drawer, her gaze still on Tara.

"You're about to find out." Tara nods her head towards the open drawer, waiting to see Buffy's reaction.

Buffy raises an eyebrow before turning her eyes down to the drawer, blushing deeply and slamming it shut.

Tara laughs heartily at the slayer's reaction. "I guess that means I'll pack that drawer away."

"You, you…" Buffy shakes her head not believing what her eyes saw as she turns her gaze back to the drawer.

"Yes, I have adult toys, Buffy." Tara chuckles as she walks over to the drawer, opening it. "Not even that big or diverse of a selection, honey."

Buffy bites her lip as she looks in the drawer. "I know what that is, but why is the tip curved like that?" Buffy questions pointing.

Tara picks up the bright purple vibrator. "It's a g-spot vibrator, Buffy."

"There is such a thing?" Buffy's eyes open wide as her gaze snaps up to Tara in surprise.

Tara blinks for a minute trying decipher whether Buffy means that there actually is a G-spot or whether Buffy's just commenting on the fact that a g-spot vibrator is made. "Okay, I'm not sure what your comment is in regards to, sweetie. Are you questioning that there actually is a g-spot?"

Buffy hesitantly nods her head as she blushes a deep burgundy.

"You…" Tara starts then shakes her head, smiling softly at the slayer. "Yes, sweetie, there is. And hopefully here soon, you will become very well acquainted to that spot." Tara presses a soft kiss to Buffy's lips before placing the vibrator in a box before turning back to the drawer.

"Okay, now I'm really confused." Buffy hesitantly reaches in to the drawer, pulling out the chocolate scented condoms. "Contrary to what I just saw pulled out of the drawer, I thought you didn't much go for…"

Tara chuckles quietly. "No, Buffy. I'm not one for the wood. These are for the vibrator."

"Why?" Buffy questions confused as she watches Tara toss the condoms into the box.

"Because the vibrator has a plasticy, rubbery smell that honestly kind of turns me off." Tara explains quietly. "And I like chocolate." Tara wiggles her eyebrows before pulling out the small bullet vibrator and placing it in the box along with the flavored lube.

"Ummm…" Buffy watches Tara place the silver egg shaped item into the box, before turning questioning eyes towards the Wiccan.

"Bullet vibrator. Great for clitoral stimulation." Tara explains.

Buffy rubs her hands over her face, trying to stop blushing.

"In the future, if you wish. Or never if you don't." Tara whispers placing a soft kiss on Buffy's cheek. "There are still plenty of other things to do and have done to, without use of anything else. Now that my toy drawer is packed out of sight in the box, let's gather the rest of my stuff and get out of here."

Buffy nods her head quickly, swallowing hard as her mind touches briefly on the thoughts of what Tara might soon be showing and doing to her…and what she might be doing to the Wiccan.

To be continued...

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