Through The Looking Glass (Season 2)
(Wes and Gunn are sneaking along a deserted corridor in the castle.)
WESLEY: (to Cordelia) Hurry up.
(Cordy strides after them, her hands full of jewels and other stuff like that.)
CORDELIA: If you ever find a way to get us out of here, I want you to find me a dimension where some demons *doesn't* want to impregnate me with its spawn! Is that just too much to ask? What is it about me anyway? Do I put out some kind of come 'shuk' me vibe? I mean, you'd tell me, right?
(Wes and Gunn are pulling a stone trap door in the floor open to reveal some nauseous liquid sloshing around at the bottom of it.)
CORDELIA: Okay. Smells like I'll be mating with the groosalug.
Reunion (Season 2)
GUNN: Okay. I'm still trying to get this family tree straight. - Darla sired Angel.
WESLEY: Correct.
GUNN: And Angel sired this Drusilla? 
WESLEY: Back when he and Darla were together, yes.
GUNN: But before Angel got his soul back, right?
WESLEY: Certainly.
GUNN: Now these lawyers, they brought Darla back as human. Now this Drusilla-vamp goes and bites Darla?
WESLEY: So it would seem.
GUNN: Making her a vampire again.
WESLEY: That's the cosmological upshot, yes. Darla's human self has died and sometime before dawn, unless Angel can stop it, she will rise again, a soulless demon.
GUNN: So that means... No, no, what I'm saying is, that means the granddaughter remade the grandmother.
WESLEY: Oh... - yes.
GUNN: Man, somehow that weirds me out more than the whole bloodsucking thing.

The Witch (Season 1)
XANDER: One of those girls hit me really hard! You should test for steroids. Okay, not only did you make the team, but you, Miss Summers, are the first alternate, and Amy's number three. (Amy, disappointed, leaves.) And what a better way to celebrate than with a romantic drive through...
WILLOW: Xander, alternates are the ones who didn't make the team, they only fill in if something happens to the ones who did.
BUFFY: Excuse me. (goes to console Amy)
XANDER: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
The Killer In Me (Season 7)
(Xanders Auto.)
ANDREW: OK, I'll go. "R". Ghost is is hard to play by yourself.
ANYA: How long since they left?
XANDER: A few hours.
ANYA: If it is the First, and I'm not saying it is, what're we expecting to find?
XANDER: He didn't bring them out there to meditate.
ANDREW: (to Dawn) Kinda makes you grateful you weren't a potential after all, doesn't it? Safer.
ANYA: Not so fast with the big "phew".
XANDER: He might know we're coming.
ANYA: Which means we're already too late, and we're heading out to the middle of nowhere.
DAWN: With no slayer, no powerful witch...
ANYA: Just a teenager, a powerless former demon, and two big geeks.
(Everyone's silent.)
ANDREW: OK, license plate game, maybe?

The "I" in Team (Season 4)
(Spike's crypt. Giles enters)
SPIKE: Hey! Wipe your feet when you enter a person's home.
GILES: Oh, yes. Careless of me. Tracking mud all over your, uh . . . mud.
SPIKE: I admit, it's a bit of a fixer-upper. Needs a woman's touch. Care to have a crack at it?
GILES: While I'd loved to go on trading jabs with you, Spike, perhaps I'll come to the point. As much as it pains me to say it, um, I owe you a debt of gratitude for the help you provided me in my recent . . . metamorphosis.
SPIKE: Stuff the gratitude. You owe me more than that, mate.
(Giles pulls out a small bundle of dollar bills and offers it to him.)
GILES: Three-hundred. Count it if you'd...
(Spike snatches it out of his hand)
GILES: ...like.
SPIKE: I'll do that.
Graduation Part 2 (Season 3)
BUFFY: So, am I crazy?
WILLOW: Well, 'crazy' is such a *strong* word.
GILES: Let's not rule it out though.
BUFFY: You don't think it can be done?
GILES: I didn't say that. I might, - but not yet.
CORDELIA: I personally don't think it's impossible to come up with a crazier plan.
OZ: We attack the Mayor with humus.
Everyone looks at him.
CORDELIA: I stand corrected.
OZ: Just trying to keep things in perspective.
CORDELIA: (sarcastic) Thank you. - My point however is, crazy or not, it's pretty much the only plan. - Besides, it's Buffy's, - and she's slay gal, - you know, Ms little Likes-to-fight. So..
XANDER: I think there was a 'yea' vote buried in there somewhere.
|