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Quotations III
Have fun with the Scoobies! |
Listening to Fear (Season 5)
WILLOW: Care package! Special delivery for the Summers girls. Now, let's see what I have in this sack of mine. Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger and female and, well, Jewish. This (to Dawn) is an extra-special gift for your mom, that I know she'll need. A beer hat! See, i-it's got cup holders, and a straw that goes directly into your mouth, and (to Joyce) you can fill it with other stuff than beer. And somehow, when I was in the store this seemed like the most important idea and now there's the whole part where I'm crazy.
JOYCE: It's perfect. Thank you, Willow. You're very sweet.
(Willow hands the beer hat to Dawn.)
WILLOW: Now, let's see, who's next? Dawn, I believe I have something in here for you...
(Joyce is now holding the cup. She puts her hand to her head and grimaces. )
BUFFY: (quietly) Headache?
JOYCE: Just a little one. (smiles) A biggish little one.
(Willow stops going through the bag, looks concerned
JOYCE: I'm fine! Go on, what else is in that sack of goodies, Willow?
WILLOW: All right. Dawn, to keep you busy.
(She takes out a book marked Spells and hands it to Dawn, who smiles in delight.)
DAWN: Ooh, spells! Thank you, Willow!
(She hurries over to a nearby chair and sits down to read.)
BUFFY: You got her a book on spells. The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to ... break things by looking at them?
WILLOW: Oh, well, it doesn't actually have spells in it. Just history, and anecdotes, stuff like that. Oh, Buffy- I have this for you.
(she pulls out a large textbook called "World History" and gives it to Buffy)
BUFFY: Homework? (pouts) Oh. I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa any more.
WILLOW: (smiling) And a yo-yo.
BUFFY: (smiling) Thank you.
Out of My Mind (Season 5)
BUFFY: I don't get what he's thinking. Why isn't he worried?
WILLOW: Maybe he thinks his body can handle it. He *is* in really good shape.
BUFFY: Nobody's body can handle a heart attack.
WILLOW: I know. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm trying too hard to make it okay.
BUFFY: (sighs) I just keep coming back to the Initiative.
WILLOW: It does have that icky government feel to it.
DAWN: Did you know that one time the CIA tried to kill Fidel Castro with poisonous aspirin?
BUFFY: Dawn, please. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what.
DAWN: Another time the CIA-
BUFFY: Dawn!
DAWN: It's important.
(Buffy looks annoyed but nods.)
DAWN: (quickly) Tried to make Castro go crazy by putting itching powder in his beard. (Buffy raises her eyebrows accusingly) It's about the government!
Not Fade Away (Season 5)
ANGEL: This may come out a little pretentious, but... one of you will betray me.
(Spike raises his hands eagerly)
ANGEL: Wes.
SPIKE: Oh.
(puts his hand down dejectedly, then perks up)
SPIKE: (hopefully) Can I deny you 3 times?
ANGEL: (to Wes) Vail is the sorcerer of the bunch. You know that game. You've seen his place. He believes you'd make a play for my spot.
WESLEY: That's not very flattering.
ANGEL: It'll get you in the door. Illyria... Izzerial the Devil and 3 other members of the circle dine together almost every night.
ILLYRIA: I'll make trophies of their spines.
ANGEL: Good to have you on the team. Gunn.
GUNN: Yo.
ANGEL: Your friend Senator Brucker has a campaign office in west L.A. You already know she's pure hellspawn, and she tends to surround herself with vampires.
GUNN: I was hoping it'd be vamps. I haven't dusted nearly enough this year. (to Spike) No offense.
SPIKE: That's all right.
ANGEL: Spike.
SPIKE: Right. First off, I'm not wearing any amulets. No bracelets, broaches, beads, pendants, pins, or rings.
ANGEL: Fine. All you need is a rattle.
Once More, with Feeling (Season 6)
SPIKE: Lookie lookie what I found.
TARA: Is-is this the demon guy?
WILLOW: (happily) Tara! (gets ignored)
SPIKE: Works for him. Has a nice little story for the Slayer, don't you? Come on, then. Sing.
MINION: My master has the Slayer's sister hostage at the Bronze because she summoned him and at midnight he's going to take her to the underworld to be his queen.
GILES: What does he want?
MINION: (indicates Buffy) Her.
SPIKE: (scoffs) If that's all you've got to say, then- (minion breaks free & runs) Strong. Someday he'll be a real boy.
BUFFY: So. Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.
Gingerbread (Season 3)
XANDER: What's with the grim? We're here to join you guys.
They slowly approach the men, who eye them suspiciously.
XANDER: No, really. Why should you guys have all the fun? We wanna be part of the hate.
OZ: Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right?
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its characters, and the Buffy logo are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB Television Network, and Twentieth Century Fox. Angel-The Series, its characters, and the Buffy logo are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, the WB Television Network, and Twentieth Century Fox.Other Series, their characters and logos are property of the proper right owners.
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