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05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
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10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
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Authors Chapter Notes:
Rated NC-17!! Contains adult language and sexual situations. Do not read if you are under 18!

{A/N: This fic is not meant to offend anyone, everything is written in the spirit of fun and lustiness. This was one of my very first attempts at writing a story, from way back in 2003. It's fun to reread it after all this time *g*}

* A big thank you to Tiana for beta'ing for me!
** Thanks to Joy and Ally for the yummy banners! :-)
*** The song, 'Moving In Stereo' is by The Cars

Joss and ME created the characters, I only borrowed them.

The party was in full swing. Buffy Summers was having a great time. Good friends, food, alcohol and music.

Her friend, Cordelia, invited Buffy to have dinner to celebrate her 25th birthday at Cordelia's home this evening with her and her daughter. Cordelia's husband, Xander, was out of town, so it would just be the three of them. The second Buffy walked in the door a bunch of her friends jumped out from their hiding places, yelling, "Surprise!" She screamed and must have jumped at least a foot in the air.

"You guys are soooo dead!" she yelled with a smile on her face, her heartbeat starting to return to normal. Everyone laughed and came over, taking turns to give her a hug, wishing her a happy birthday.

"Sorry I had to trick you, honey!" Cordelia said as she gave Buffy a big hug of her own. "You should have seen the look on your face! Priceless!" She snickered.

"Oh, she'll see it!" Another friend shouted, waving a digital camera in the air. Everyone erupted in laughter again.

"Remind me to kill you later," Buffy said to Cordy, only half kidding. It occurred to her that none of her male friends were here. The party consisted of 15-20 females. She asked Cordy why.

"Hehehe, trust me, the guys wouldn't appreciate what we have planned for later!" She giggled.

Buffy was about to ask her what exactly she meant by that when a cold drink was placed in her hand and her friends ushered her into the living room. That was two hours ago...

Everyone was feeling loose and in good spirits. Buffy just finished unwrapping the last present, a personal "massager" designed specifically with women in mind. She was glad that Cordelia's young daughter was staying the night at the neighbor's house. Impressionable young minds had no place here tonight.

"Thanks, Willow...I'll be sure to put this to good use!" Buffy joked.

"It's perfect for getting rid of all your little acheys!" Willow exclaimed. Everyone broke out giggling and laughing uproariously. “Well, it does!”

She checked out her pile of gifts. The sheer amount of sexually themed gifts (including a life-size Antonio Banderas Love Doll with detachable vibrating penis, an assortment of flavored body oils, trashy lingerie, not to mention the "massager") made her wonder what kind of nympho her friends thought she was!

"Everyone!" Cordy clapped her hands to get the group's attention. "I just got a call from my babysitter. I have to go next door for a little while, Ashley won't go to sleep unless I read her a story first. I won't be long, I promise! We'll have the cake as soon as I get back!"

All the guests voiced their understanding of the situation as Cordy hurried out the front door.

"That's quite a haul you got there, B!" Buffy's friend Faith said as she sat down next to her.

"Yeah, apparently I'm a sex fiend, who knew?" Buffy adjusted her jaunty party hat.

"I may have to borrow that Love Doll sometime, it's wicked cool!" She patted the box.

"You borrow it, you keep it! I couldn't take Antonio back after you've had your wicked way with him. I'd always wonder if he was thinking of you when he's making sweet love to me!"

Faith doubled over in laughter. "Girl, you are too much!" Faith wiped tears out of her eyes. "I'm gettin' a little antsy waiting for the real thing to show up, know what I mean?" She nudged Buffy with her elbow and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Nice going, Faith!" Willow piped in. "It was supposed to be a surprise, you poop-head!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to blow it, it just slipped out. What's the big deal anyway? Surprise or not, we still get to see some fine man-meat!"

"Okay, explain to me exactly what you crazy women have planned," Buffy asked.

Willow sighed. "Cordy hired a male stripper to come tonight and put on a show for you. I think she said that it’s one of those things where the guy comes dressed up like a cop or something."

"Yeah, then he rips off his shirt and says something like, 'You have the right... to remain aroused!'" Faith locked her hands behind her head and thrust her hips out. Everyone laughed.

"I'm actually happier knowing about it,” Buffy admitted. "I've had enough surprises for one evening!"

Just then the doorbell rang. Everyone looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Oh my God! He's here, he's here!" Willow jumped up and down. "Oh no! Cordy's not back yet!"

"Take a chill pill, Wills. You guys! Get the cameras ready! This is one Kodak moment you'll definitely want to cherish!" Faith said as she grabbed Buffy's hand and headed for the door.

Rona and Molly held up their cameras, grinning like maniacs.

A million thoughts went through Buffy's mind on the way to the door. Her heart was hammering away in her chest in anticipation of what was to come. Part of her wanted to run away as fast as she could, but a bigger, more insistent part couldn't wait to get the show on the road. She decided then and there that she was going to let her inner-skank out to play tonight. He was a stripper, after all. He was used to women behaving badly around him. Since she was the guest of honor tonight it would almost be impolite not to paw him and climb him like a tree. Yeah, she wouldn't want him to be insulted. She just prayed that he was hot.

Faith threw the door open. Standing outside on the front step was a man dressed like a priest. A very cute priest. Before anyone could say anything, Faith burst out laughing.

"Oh, man! This is too fucking good!" She snorted.

"Shh! We're not supposed to know what he is yet!" Willow whispered harshly.

"Um, hello. I'm William Harding, the new assistant priest to Father O'Malley at 'Our Lady of Peace', the uh... Are Mr. and Mrs. Harris in? They should be expecting me." He looked past Buffy and Faith at the large group of women gathered in the foyer with smiles plastered on their faces and wearing party hats. "Are you having a party? This is Saturday, isn’t it? I haven’t come on the wrong night, have I?”

He looked very nervous. This might be one of his first jobs or maybe he was really a struggling actor trying to make ends meet and he was getting into the part of the sexy young priest.

“Nah, Padre. You’ve got the right night.” Faith leered at him. “Cordelia had to step out for a minute, but she’ll be right back. C’mon in!” She motioned for everyone to step back to allow him to enter.

“If you’re sure. I wouldn’t want to intrude. I can come back tomorrow.” He took a step backwards.

Buffy reached out and took one of his wrists in her hand. “No, no. You can come right in. Cordelia would never forgive us if we let you leave!” She tugged him through the door, linking an arm through his as she walked towards the living room.

The crowd parted before them like the Red Sea, all the women giggling like schoolgirls, trying to hide smiles behind their hands. His eyes darted around, looking at the partygoers. Buffy could feel the tension in his arm. Maybe he wasn’t told there would be so many women at the party.

She squeezed his bicep lightly. 'Mmmm, feels nice and muscley!'

“It’s okay, we don’t bite.” Buffy leaned over to whisper in his ear, “I’m the birthday girl, by the way.” She inhaled his scent and deemed it ‘Yummy’. He smelled clean and manly, no cologne. Her mouth watered slightly. If he could bottle his natural scent he could make a fortune, ‘Eau du Hot Stripper’.

He smiled slightly. “Happy birthday. I hope you got everything you wanted.”

She looked into his eyes, smiling mischievously. “Not yet, but I have a feeling I’m going to like my next present most of all.”

He furrowed his brow. He was adorable and sexy as hell at the same time; she didn’t know that was even possible. It made her want to cuddle him and rip his clothes off with her teeth at the same time. He had the cheekbones of a GQ model, full sensuous lips, his eyes were a deep blue and definitely of the bedroom variety. Buffy had always found blue eyes cold, but not his. They were warm and inviting; it would be so easy to drown in them. That bottom lip of his was just begging to be nibbled. She felt her pulse race as she inspected him, she couldn’t wait to see if the rest of him was as appealing. Would he strip down to a G-string or would she be treated to the ‘Full Monty’?

When they arrived in the living room, Faith went to the CD player. “So, Father Hardening,” she asked with a smirk, “how long have you been a priest?”

Buffy reluctantly unhooked her arm from his, she didn’t want to hinder his movements when he started the show.

“Well, I -- it’s Harding, William Harding. And I’m not a full priest yet, I'm a novice. I still have to take my final Holy Orders.”

“Oooooh, does that mean you might change your mind then? If you got the right incentive?” Buffy purred, batting her eyelashes at him.

“Uh, no... I fully intend to go through with becoming a priest...”

Faith laughed. “We’ll see about that! By the way, the whole priest thing... very nice. It’s way naughty! Okay, enough talk! it’s showtime!” With that, she hit the play button on the CD player.

The song ‘On the Loose’ by Saga started blaring out of the speakers at high volume. The assembled party guests immediately started clapping and whooping, the ones with cameras got them ready.

Father Hardening spun around. “What’s going on!? What is all this about? Are all of you drunk?”

Faith danced over. “It’s alright, sweetcheeks, we know why you’re really here! Your act is cute and all but we want to see some SKIN! Right, ladies?!” she shouted.

The crowd went wild, yelling and whistling.

He appeared to be stunned, like a deer caught in headlights. "I think there's been some kind of mistake!" he blurted out.

"Hey, ladies, Father Tiger Drawers needs a little encouragement! Let's show him some loooove!" Faith shouted. She would make a great emcee at a strip club.

The mob of women increased their efforts, yells of 'Take it off! and 'Shake your money-maker!' rang out.

He was still just standing there with his mouth hanging open. Buffy decided to take some initiative. She danced toward him seductively, her hands skimming over her torso. He gulped, backing up a few steps, his eyes fixed on her hands as they cupped her breasts. She noticed that he was standing right in front of a large leather recliner. Inspiration struck her. Closing the distance between them swiftly, she shoved lightly on his chest, but hard enough to send him back into the chair, which went into reclined position by itself.

Wasting no time, she leapt onto the chair to straddle his waist. "Woohoo!" Buffy shouted jubilantly, dancing in his lap.

She couldn't remember having this much fun in a long time. Buffy liked that he was being coy, making her take charge. But she wished he'd drop the innocent act already. It was getting a little old. He was still looking at her, eyes wide, mouth agape, his hands gripping the armrests of the chair.

Buffy realized that kissing is most likely not part of the service, but she just couldn't help herself. Running her fingers through his curly locks, she leaned down and captured his lips in a smoldering kiss. He gasped against her mouth, allowing her tongue access to his. She twirled her tongue around his, exploring the moist cavern of his mouth with gusto. The way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way he felt... He was driving her crazy!

The rest of the world slid away when she felt him start to return the kiss. She forgot that there was a horny pack of women watching her, yelling and urging her on. She forgot that he was a stripper. She wouldn't even be able to tell someone her own name at this point. Somewhere, a million miles away, she heard the music change. 'Moving in Stereo' by The Cars began to play. Buffy always thought this song was sexy.

She felt herself getting hotter and wetter by the second. She had never been so turned on in her life and he had barely even done anything. She ground her pelvis against his, eliciting low moans from both of them. The evidence that he was starting to live up to Faith's name for him, ‘Father Hardening’, pressed against Buffy's inner-thigh, much to her delight. She moved a hand down his body and rubbed his bulge.

She mused, “Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” She felt the head of his cock through layers of fabric and gave it a little pinch, causing him to jerk and whimper.

His hands moved from the armrests to grip her outer thighs. Buffy never thought she could cum from just kissing and a little grinding while fully clothed, but she was getting awfully close. She broke the kiss and leaned back, running her hands over his chest. His head was thrown back, eyes shut, his breathing labored. He was just as turned on as she was, seeing his enraptured expression thrilled her to no end. She ground her center against him more intensely. 'Friction is your friend!' she thought.

“Forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin!” she exclaimed, ripping his shirt open roughly, the buttons flying off in different directions, becoming projectile weapons. He was wearing a t-shirt underneath. She growled in frustration at another obstacle between her and the sweet flesh of his torso. She grabbed the t-shirt with both hands, and tore it down the middle, finally exposing his bare chest to her hungry eyes and hands.

If there is a male body more beautiful, Buffy hadn't seen it. She had only seen bodies like his in museums. Sculpted. Perfect.

She dove back down to devour his lips while her hands roamed all over his scrumptious body. His hands moved to squeeze and fondle the firm globes of her ass. She trailed her mouth to his neck, licking, kissing and biting along his jugular while her fingers explored his pecs, tweaking the perfect nipples with her nails.

His eyes rolled back in his head as he used his grip on her ass to grind his now massive hard-on against her frantically. They both moaned and gasped loudly at the more forceful contact. One of his hands brushed her breast, then surrounded it, kneading it roughly. Buffy tossed her head back when she felt it starting. That moment the French call "la petite morte", the little death.

Just when she was about to fly over the edge a shrill voice penetrated the fog that had been around her brain.

"Oh my God! What the hell is going on here?!"

Buffy whipped her head around to see Cordelia standing in the entrance to the living room, shock written all over her face. She may as well have poured a bucket of ice water over Buffy's head, it would have had the same effect.

Suddenly, reality started rushing back at her, full force.

'Oh God!' her mind screamed.

She had been humping the stripper right here in front of everyone! She looked around wildly at the faces of her friends. Most of them were looking down, some were trying hard not to smile, all of them looked noticeably flushed.

Buffy realized that she was still perched atop the stripper with her hands splayed on his naked chest. She jumped off the chair in a panic, almost falling on her face in the process. Lucky for her, Faith caught her and helped her right herself. As soon as she dismounted from the chair (and the stripper) he quickly put the chair back down in the sitting position, trying in vain to close his torn shirt.

"Well? Is someone going to answer me?" Cordelia asked.

"Hi, Cordy! Um, we were just... uh, just playing a party game with the stripper you hired!" Buffy said it, and even she thought it was lame.

"I -- Oh my God! William? William Harding?" Cordy's voice was incredulous.

He looked up from his destroyed shirt at her. "Yes, hel-hello, Mrs. Harris," his voice was shaky. He stood up holding his shirt together with a hand. "I-I came by like you asked to talk with you and--and your husband about organizing the... uh... food drive at the church."

Buffy couldn't be hearing what she thought she was hearing. She felt like all the air was just sucked out of the room.

"That's next Saturday, not this Saturday..." Cordy said slowly.

He just stared at her blankly for a minute. "Oh. Well, then... sorry. I-I should have... I should be going, then!" He glanced at Buffy briefly before hightailing it out the front door.

Cordy turned back to face Buffy. "How... Why were... How did it come about that you were having sex, on my chair, with a priest from my church?!"

Buffy had never been more embarrassed in her life! Doing what she was doing with him in the chair in front of everyone was bad enough, but to think that he was really who he said he was... She just sexually assaulted a fucking priest! She wobbled a bit on her feet, she had never fainted before but... Her eyes rolled back in her head.

She blacked out.

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