“Buffy you’ve been moping around here for months. You’re not the same person who left the Hell Mouth months ago. You were so strong and brave. What happened to you?,” Xander asked out of worry.
They had decided to have lunch together when he visited because Giles said she hasn’t been herself at all. Giles seemed even afraid to have her patrol alone because he’s afraid she would just lie down and die willingly.
Buffy shrugged saying, “Not totally sure.”
Xander frowned as he tasted his soup then said, “Is it because you miss Sunnydale? Do you miss slaying and being the only one? Is it because you feel expendable?”
Buffy nodded because that was part of it.
Xander continued, “Why don’t you go to Ohio and spend time with Faith or something? Or even go somewhere new and different where vamps are. There are a few hell mouths around. You can be the only one there fighting and perhaps that will perk you up a bit.”
Buffy frowned and said nothing picking at her sandwich.
Xander noticed she was having soup and sandwich like him but he had finished his sandwich and most of his soup and Buffy hadn’t touched a bite.
She appeared to be wasting away right in front of him.
He was worried and decided he would talk to Willow about how to help her.
She was his friend and she wasn’t acting like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
He paid for their food asking to have hers wrapped up saying, “Buffster we will figure out a way to help.”
Buffy nodded but knew inside nothing would help. A part of her was gone forever and it would never return.
Willow sat on the couch with Xander and felt bad discussing Buffy like she was a case.
Xander had shared with Willow how over dinner she had eaten nothing, and not even looked at him during the whole dinner.
He had used words like evasive, non-responsive, and withdrawn.
Willow had experienced the same thing with Buffy that he was describing.
They were in all parts of the world and perhaps not having a constant companion for her is the cause but Willow knew better.
Willow knew she was probably missing Spike.
The last two years of Buffy’s life had been with Spike as her companion.
Willow sighed saying, “Perhaps we should suggest her to visit Angel. He’s still alive and perhaps he can cheer her up. He has always in the past.”
Xander never did like Angel but this was getting scary. Buffy was turning into a zombie only not the brain eating kind. She was walking around like nothing bothered or touched her. He sighed knowing Willow was right, Angel might help.
Finally Xander said quietly, “I guess I’ll try to talk to her about it. It can’t get any worse. She barely talks now so the worse she can do is really hate me.”
Xander shrugged and walked out of the room to find Buffy.
Giles sat with Xander who had shared the idea with him.
Giles frowned saying, “Buffy won’t go willingly. I have something I need to get to Angel anyway. He asked for a research journal from the council. Perhaps we can send her on a mission to give him this and wait for him to be done with it. I can call him with a heads up on the fact Buffy needs help. I’m sure he can do something. She can’t get any worse. Even a little help will be nice.”
Xander nodded in agreement taking the journal from his hands and hoping Buffy fell for this. He didn’t like tricking Buffy but he knew this was a desperate matter of life and death.
Buffy frowned looking at Xander, “You want me to go see Angel? Whatever for? What could Angel want from us?”
Xander held out the watcher journals with a slight shrug, “He asked me to take it to Angel but a new slayer arrived at my base so I need to return to Scotland.”
Buffy sighed understanding that he had duties and said, “Can’t Willow take it?”
Xander shook his head saying, “No she’s needed here in England. They got a new slayer in who has magical powers and Giles is worried about Willow staying grounded. She has been showing evil tendencies again and it’s important she finds someone who can ground her. Kennedy just isn’t doing that great of a job at it.”
Xander hoped he sounded convincing. He had made that last part up himself. Buffy seemed to buy it saying, “Have Giles get me a flight. I’ll do it for him.”
Xander nodded and gave her a hug saying, “I have to get back now. Good seeing you and Buffy?”
Buffy glanced up at him and he saw her troubled, pain filled green eyes for the first time all visit, “Take care of yourself.”
Buffy nodded and looked down as Xander left.
Buffy stared out the window holding the journals she was asked to bring with her. She didn’t want to go to L.A. and face Angel and have to pretend to be ok. She wanted to stay in England where she could spend her time alone where she didn’t have to pretend. She didn’t feel ok. She felt empty and incomplete. She didn’t even want to get better. She wanted to stay like this forever. She was wiped out. She felt finished and done. She wished she were done.
She saw the buckle sign and looked down noticing she hadn’t even bothered to unbuckle.
She had refused the food and drink on the flight as well. She can’t remember the last time she actually ate more than 5 bites at a time. At least with Angel he wouldn’t notice if she didn’t eat seeing how he never ate either.
She just wanted this trip done with so she could go back home and crawl into bed and sleep her life away.
She heard the plane attendant say, “Now landing in L.A.”
She sighed and stood up to go find whatever driver Angel had sent to find her. She knew he wouldn’t come himself, it was sunlight out after all.