“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?”
"My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all"
Dido- "Thank You"
“Buffy, sweetie, are you ok?” Joyce questioned as she pressed her ear against the closed bathroom door. She was concerned about her eldest daughter, who was currently locked inside the upstairs bathroom, vomiting her brains out.
“I'm fine, Mom,” Buffy replied in a small, shaky voice as she closed her eyes, willing the flip floppy-ness of her stomach to go away.
The cool tile on the bathroom floor was very inviting to her hot, fevered skin as she lay upon it. Buffy could rest there forever, ignoring what she had to face, what she was dreading to face.
Joyce tapped once again on the door, “Are you sure you're okay, Buffy?”
The Slayer could hear the motherly concern in Joyce's voice, but now so wasn't the time to play good daughter Buffy. She just wanted her mother to back off and leave her alone. She was able to keep her morning visits to the bathroom low key back at the dorm, but since said dorms were being fumigated for the week, Buffy was at home.
“Really, Mom, I'm fine.”
But before Buffy could convince her further, the flip flopping of her stomach got worse, and Buffy's mouth began to water. She made it to the rim of the toilet just in time to finish bringing up last night's meal.
Outside the bathroom door and against her better judgment, Joyce walked away from the door, intending to make some nice herbal tea to settle her daughter's stomach.
Inside, still against the toilet, Buffy wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and willed herself to stand. She used the sink for support, standing on wobbly legs as she glanced into the mirror. Her skin carried an ash tint to it, and Buffy sported dark circles under her eyes.
Turning on the hot water she quickly washed her hands, then cupping them, she collected some water to rinse out her mouth.
'It's now or never, Buffy.'
With a dejected sigh she slipped her hand into the pocket of her robe, removing a small rectangular box. Buffy opened the container; reaching inside, she laid the contents of the box out on the sink. Looking over the directions, Buffy had to swallow hard not to toss her cookies again.
'Looks easy enough. Pee, dip, and wait.'
Buffy did as the directions instructed, then placed the stick down on the sink. Emptying the contents of the disposable cup into the toilet, she resisted the urge to peek at the test.
Another knock at the door startled the Slayer, causing her stomach to flip for a whole other reason.
“Buffy, come on! Some of us have school to get ready for you know,” whined Dawn impatiently from behind the closed door.
“I'll be out in a minute, Dawnie,” Buffy placated her sister in a feeble voice.
“Fine!” Dawn huffed out crossing her arms over her chest, walking back towards her room.
Sitting down on the lowered toilet lid, Buffy glanced over at the test. It was done, ready to be read.
'If I don't look it won't be real,' Buffy thought as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. Setting her 'resolve' face in place, she quickly picked up the stick.
'You can do this, you're the Slayer.'
With a deep breath Buffy looked down at the results. It was a pink plus sign. Her eyes darted to the box to confirm with the picture; plus sign meant pregnant, minus meant not pregnant.
Buffy's eyes darted back and forth between the box and the test result window a few more times, her hand shaking more with each glance at the stick. How could this even be happening, and why? Why her? Why now? And why Spike? God, was this the Powers That Be's way of telling her that vampires were only for the staking, and not the other way around? And did she mention Spike?
One mistake, one measly, tiny, itty-bitty mistake, and look what happens. Still in denial, Buffy closed her eyes and began to click her slippered feet together three times.
'There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. So isn't working, is it?'
Buffy cracked her left eye open and focused on the result window once again. Yup still positive. Chalk one more mark up for the wrongness that was Buffy's life.
'Just great, Buffy, you go and get knocked up by the Big Bad!'
Denial Buffy so wasn't working this time. And what about the sperm donor, how would she explain this to the bleached wonder? How would he react? Before Buffy could finish that though, she made another dash for the toilet.
After showering, enduring another whine fest from Dawn, and convincing a very worried mother that she was ok, Buffy headed off to school, taking heed to toss the pregnancy test in the garbage outside. It would be picked up by garbage collection later that morning.
It was a beautiful morning, but Buffy paid no mind to the day, or the cloudless sky; she was on autopilot. Her feet carried her to campus, but she didn't even realize she was at school until a pert redhead snatched her from her mindless wanderings.
“Oh hey, Wills,” Buffy uttered poorly trying to smile, but her face just wouldn't work with her.
“Buffy,” her Wicca friend replied, carefully taking in her friend's appearance.
“Are you feeling okay Buffy? I ask because I've been calling after you for five minutes. You're off in your own world, girl. It was like ... weird.”
“Yeah, Willow, I'm good,” responded Buffy, trying to keep Willow from thinking something was wrong. Buffy was trying hard to make with the nice-ness, but she just didn't have the energy. Hard to feel sociable when you've been tossing your cookies for days.
Buffy could tell her best friend wasn't buying it, but she didn't have time or the willpower to convince her otherwise, plus the tea which she drank that morning was about to make an appearance, bathroom or not.
“I really got to get to class, Willow. I promise we'll talk later,” said Buffy very rushed.
With that, the Slayer dashed across the campus towards the nearest bathroom. Willow stood watching her friend go, shaking her red locks. Buffy still wasn't over losing Riley, poor girl. Well, Willow Rosenburg just wasn't the kind of girl to sit around and watch her best friend suffer. She was going to set aside some time today and give undivided Best Friend time to Buffy.
She clearly needed it.