Feeling it.
I don't know how this had happened, one second we were talking the next my back was pressed up against the brick, ally wall with my legs firmly wrapped around his waist. My mind was screaming at me to see sense, to stop this before it went to far but my body betrayed me all I could do was moan and rub my hot centre against his jean covered erection, it had all started out so innocent.
“Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What’s it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see? That’s the secret. Not the punch you didn’t throw or the kicks you didn’t land. Every slayer… has a death wish. Even you... I just wonder if you'll enjoy it as much as she did” I had told him to leave, to get out of my sight but a part of me knew he was right... there had been times when I wondered what it would be like to just let go, to let the other guy win but I never let myself think it for long.
He wouldn't leave; he just kept talking at me, trying to get me to snap. That's when I noticed him moving forward, was he going to kiss me? I quickly stepped back.
"What are you doing?" I asked screwing up my face like I was disgusted by the thought of his lips touching mine. The truth was if I had let his lips touch mine of even for a moment I wouldn't be able to stop. A part of me knew this was wrong I mean it's Spike for Christ sakes, William the Bloody, slayer of slayers, I couldn't even imagine what my friends would think if they found out how I felt for him.... how do I feel for him? I had always felt a pull towards him even from the first time I saw him, I remember the disappointment I had felt when I had found out he was a vampire.
I had always pushed my feelings aside, tried not to think about it but when he was this close I felt it all too much... I cared for him, a part of me even knew if I allowed myself I could love him and every part of me wanted to touch him and be touched by him... that's when I noticed he had grabbed the top of my arms and pulled at me forcefully. I felt a shiver run through me at the feel of his body pressed against mine, the truth in his words.
"Come on Slayer, you know you wanna dance."
"Say its true, say I do want to..." A part of me wanted to push him to the ground, say something harsh and cruel just to hurt him so he would leave me alone. For some reason half way into my verbal attack I stopped... I wanted him, I had known that for years but I couldn't just let myself feel it... could I? What would my friends think? What would Giles think? And what about Riley? I couldn't just hurt him like that, he may not be the most exciting lover but I couldn't just chat especially with Spike.... Could I? I didn't want to hurt or disappoint anyone but I had almost died the night before, stabbed with my own stake and I had died for this world once already, would it be so terrible to act on want? I remember saying to Willow once acting on want could be bad but not acting on it...
"Well…" Spike said. I realized I had just been staring at him, looking into those bright blue eyes full of lust and desire, full lips just begging to be kissed, my brain shut down and my body took control.
"Screw it." I said Spike looked momentarily confused until I grabbed the lapel of his duster pulling him forcefully to me, smashing his lips with mine... he seemed still for a second before I felt him relax.
I felt his tongue begging to be allowed entrance as I opened my mouth moaning and when I felt his tongue brush against mine, he pushed me back against the wall with his body. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist rubbing my wet center against him, I could feel his desire for me pressing ageist me as I moaned into his mouth at the wave of pleasure I felt. All I could do was thank god I had worn a skirt tonight.
Breaking away from for each others lips so I could take a breath, Spike started to trail hot, wet kisses down my neck. I pushed his duster off his shoulders which he let fall carelessly to the ground. He looked up at me, trying to unbutton my top but he kept fumbling with the buttons, his hands trembling due to his nervousness, I couldn't help but find it cute. He finally growled in frustration, ripping my top open and buttons flew every where. I could hear them hitting the ally ground, rolling into secret areas.
"Sorry luv, I'll buy you a new one." He replied, continuing by giving my bra the same treatment.
"One of them too." I couldn't help but giggle girlishly. But my giggles soon turned to moans as he took one hardened nipples into his mouth and nibbled on it lightly before rolling his tongue around it so skillfully. He then moved to my other breast, giving it the same treatment.
"So bloody beautiful." I heard him say.
"Oh God." I gasped as he sucked harder on my nipple. I felt moisture flood between my thighs, we've barely touched each other and already I feel like I’m going to explode. I've never been so turned on, not like this. Roughly pulling his shirt over his head once his lips parted with my nipple, I dropped it to the ground; I take a moment to admire his hard, rippled chest even with the little light in the ally. I instinctively run my nails over his abs and I feel him shudder under my touch and I can't help but feel feminine pride rush through me at the effect I have on him.
"Oh Buffy..." He hisses in my ear as I lean forward to nibble on his earlobe and leave soft kisses on his neck. I feel him push his erection against me again and again sending waves of pleasure in its wake. I can't take it anymore, I need more, I have to have him inside me.
"Oh God Spike... Please I need you inside me."
"Oh God." I hear him groan at my admission. I hear his zipper go down, lifting my skirt up and pushing my wet thong aside I feel him pushing against my entrance. He teases me, rubbing the tip of his cock along my wet folds.
"Please Spike..." I whisper need evident in my voice.
"Please what pet? Tell me what you want." he whispers huskily in my ear.
"Oh God...." I hesitate, not sure if I should be so bold.
"Tell me what you want... never be ashamed of what you want." he said, looking into my eyes. I look back into his eyes and finally building the courage to say what I have wanted to say to him for years.
"Please fuck me... I want you to fuck me right now." I say. My voice trembling with need. He doesn't make me wait long as he blissfully pushes the tip of his hardened cock inside me, I gasp in surprise. He's so big and I can fell him stretching and filling me the more he pushes into me. Never have I felt so complete, so full. When he is fully inside me we are both still for a moment, taking time to get use the feel of each other.
It feels like forever before he starts slowly and tortuously moving in and out of me. We groan at the feel of one another, his slow but long thrusts are driving me crazy I can't take anymore. I want more.
"Fuck me harder... faster." I groan out and thankfully he obliges.
"Oh Buffy your so bloody tight. Hot. Feel like your going to burn me alive." He mutters in that same seductive husky voice of his. His words make me hotter and more turned on then I thought imaginable in my whole life. I never knew it could feel this good, with Angel being my first and that wasn’t so good, Parker had been a bore and Riley was just too gentle. The one time I had gotten rough with him, I had accidentally broken one of his ribs. But Spike was giving it to me how I had longed to have it in so long and I was giving it to him as good as he was giving it to me.
"You’re so wet... tell me it’s only for me." He whispers in my ear as he trusts into me harder then ever before.
"God yes you... only you." I moan, I meeting him thrust for thrust. I feel him touch something inside me that I had never knew existed and suddenly I feel my inner muscles flutter around him and I spill over the edge, screaming out in my release.
“OH SPIKE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I feel him smile against my neck as he continues to pump in and out of me. Now I know it’s possible that my screams could have very well alerted someone to our presence in the ally and that we could be caught at any moment, but all it did was fuel my excitement. I could feel that familiar burn in the pit of my stomach as my second orgasm starts to build and I wonder if I should ask him. But before I can give it any real serious thought the request spills from my lips.
"Please bite me." I moan he pulls back slightly to look at me a bit shocked.
"What?" he asks, he looks confused and amused at the same time.
"Please, I want you to bite me" I ask again, my voice almost begging him.
"Oh God." He groans, his fingers digging into my hip, I felt him lean toward me. I feel the shift of his face, vamping out and then his teeth sinking into the exposed flesh of my left breast. I can feel him taking pulls of my blood into his mouth drinking me, swallowing me and I feel my inner walls start to flutter again, building towards another orgasm. I feel him retract his fangs and feel him move his lips towards my ear.
"I love you." His admission sends me spiraling out of control, my nails digging into his back I scream his name in ecstasy once again.
"SPIKKEEE!!" I feel him trust into my two more times before I hear him roar my name out in his release.
"BUFFYYY!!!" He slumps against me, spent, slowly lowering me to the ground, I can't help but whimper at the loss when he slips out of me. Fixing my skirt and closing my jacket around my now ruin shirt, I finally look at him. I can see that he has taken the effort to zip his pants up, put his shirt back on and is putting his duster back on, that I so carelessly pushed of his shoulders only moments before. His eyes met mine. I see confusion and worst of all fear. I knew what he was thinking. Would I say it was a mistake, push past him and avoid him at every turn? I knew it would be easier then trying to explain a relationship with him to my friends and family, it would be easier then breaking up with Riley and seeing the hurt on his face. But the facts remain. It was it was too late to walk away now. That time had come and gone and now we well I, had crossed that line and whether I wanted to or not I needed to face the cold hard facts. I wasn't in love with Riley. I doubted I ever had been and sexually he left a lot to be desired. But Spike made her feel... just feel alive. Let’s face it; I always have needed a little monster in my man. I smile at him softly.
"Maybe next time we can try getting indoors first." I say. He laughs softly and I see his face soften, but the fear remained in his eyes..
"Wait... next time?" He asks looking hopeful, I can't help but smile wickedly at him.
"You caught that did ya?" he smiles back at me the relief now evident in his eyes. His face seems to flash, and his eyes seem to bore into me.
"Buffy about what I said... before...."
"About loving me? Is it true?" I ask. I’m not sure what I want to hear.
"God yes!" he quickly replies. This makes me feel hopeful, confirming that I have made the right choice.
"I don't expect you to say it back." he tells me. I can tell by the tone of is voice he wishes I would.
"I care about you Spike, I always have..." I tell him, seeing the hope shine in his eyes.
"But its not love." he nods, bowing his head and I see the hurt and devastation on his face. I smile softly.
"But it could be." His head snaps up at this.
"Yeah?" he asks smiling brilliantly.
"Yeah." I reply. Smiling back at him, he steps forward and pulls me into a passionate kiss. I find myself getting lost in him again, so willingly and so comfortably. All I had to do now figure out what I would tell Riley and everyone else for that matter. Spike pulls back from me and reaches up to touch my face so lovingly I could melt in his arms. He takes my hand and leads me into the direction of his crypt. I would worry about what to tell Riley and the gang tomorrow right now, tonight, here, in this moment, all that mattered was Spike and I.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!