"Do you trust me ?"
The metal cuffs were dangling from his finger while Spike looked at her. This wasn't just a question, it was a kind of test. And she knew it.
Will I give him my body without being able to stop him, will I expose everything to him ? Will I trust him ?
Buffy was hesitating although the answer was clear to her.
"Never !" she said, her expression grim but her eye showed a little doubt.
Yeah, she was weak in this situation. She had to decide whether she let him tie her or she can go home, spend some time with Dawn and go to work tomorrow like nothing ever happened.
But couldn't let him go this far. This wasn't good. He could hurt her and then she would have to answer queations and besides, she didn't trust him at all.
Buffy crawled out of the rug she had been lying under and left Spike. She knew that he was looking after her, she only wore her panties, but she had to leave or she may change her opinion.
As if she was in a hurry she collected her clothes, got dressed and left the crypt.
The night was cold outside. With a deep sigh she leaned against the front door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The fresh air was cooling her body down. This wasn't good at all. In last few days it was hard to resist the attraction he had on her. No, she didn't love him for several obvious reasons but with him she could release everything. She could be herself and didn't has to take care about the others.
And it was good. He was good, for crying out loud.
She knew that it was dangerous to sleep with him, he might loose control over the demon inside of him. He could bite her in an instant and everything was over.
But this risk was the thing she liked the most about this thing they had. She had lied when she told him they had no 'thing'. She couldn't describe it. It wasn't a relationship. Hell, no.
But it wasn't just about sex. They had started a conversation after smashing the crypt again and Buffy didn't liked this fact.
She confessed to herself that she had a kind of addiction to this but she couldn't tell exactly why.
Buffy crossed the cemetary and headed home. Dawn had already gone to sleep and she didn't wanted to wake her up. She just stood there and watched her younger sister sleep peacefully.
She didn't knew about her 'whatever' with Spike and she could not be told. None of her friend was supposed to knew about it.
They would freak out and they were kind of right though.
Spike was dangerous. He could hit her recently and his love for her has always been a kind of addiction. He had been searching through the basement, stealing picture of her. He had even built this robot only to…oh no, don't remember it. But he had also tried to save her. He was the first she talked to about this getting-pulled-out-of-heaven-by-my-friends-thing because she knew that he would understand it.
Now they started kissing in the backstreets and she had taken the initiative when they had the fight in the condemmed house a few week ago.
This was the point where everything started. She couldn't resist it, she had to do it, had to feel him.
Buffy crawled into her bed. A few minutes later she was asleep as well but there were no dreams for her this night. Everything was black around her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The day in the Doublemeat Palace had been as horrible as every other day in this big grease tub. Only a few costumers had shared her faked happiness, the others were just in-and-out costumers.
She had been in the Bronze with Will, Xander and Anya and she had one of the most disturbing experiences in her whole life and afterlife though.
Spike had appeared on the gallery when she had watched her friends dancing and having fun down under. But her thoughts had trailed off towards the night before to the question which haunted her the whole day.
"Do you trust me ?"
As if she had called for him, Spike was there but he was all different and kind of cruel. He had said that she likes being in the shadows and couldn't stay with her friends because she was supposed to be with him.
He had touched her. Not only with these words. Before she could push him aside or even think about self-diffence she had felt him. And for some weird reasons she had wanted it, too. Right there, the way it was. Cruel, violent, hard and dangerous.
His word came crawling into her mind again and again the next day.
Was he right ? Was she a creature of darkness like he was ? Wasn't she able to be with her friends because she had touched the shadow-world he was living in ? A world of NO !
But although she doubted his words completely, she couldn't resist the wish to go to him and risk it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That night, when she was supposed to patrol, Buffy turned her way toward the cemetary. Without even thinking about it she headed for the crypt but she didn't enter.
She couldn't. That would be like confessing she wanted to be with him. But wasn't that the point of her little Peek-a-boo-visit?
Buffy leaned against the cold metal of the front door and a chill ran trough her body. He was there. She could feel it although she had not the sense of a vampire who could actually smell her.
Maybe he could. She could feel him coming closer, she really could. He was right on the other side of the door.
She could feel his cold hand running over her body, she felt it through the door and a few layers of clothes. Her hand lay on the door, too, but she didn't move at all.
She hesitated. She fought a battle inside her mind if she might go or if she might enter the crypt, making the first step and maybe change some things.
But her common sense won the battle. It wouldn't have been a good decision. It would have been a mistake. She wasn't able to trust him that way. Maybe he has helped her several time and maybe he loved in his weird way but she was not able to trust him.
Buffy turned away from the crypt and headed back towards the town to look for some creepy creatures to fight instead of standing in front of a vampire's lair and fighting her conscience.
Suddenly she heard the door bursting open and his steps on the concrete but she didn't dare to look around, to look in his eyes.
"Buffy !"
The cold wind carried his voice to her ear and against her will she stopped.
She felt Spike coming closer towards her.
"What do you want our here, lurking about my crypt and thinking you can get away with this ?" he asked, his tone grim with a bit of the smirkyness he was used to have in his voice when he talked to her.
"I was just out on patrol and it was a … bad coincidense." Buffy stumbled, her voice shaking.
"Don't lie to me. I'm a vampire. I could feel you !"
Yeah, she forgot it. He may have felt her standing outside the crypt ,too, as she felt him.
"Well, you know.." Buffy stopped as she felt his hand on her shoulder.
"What. Do. You. Want !" He kind of spilled every word and slowly Buffy turned around.
Thoughts came rushing throught her mind like a tornado. A fight between a little angel and a little devil both sitting on her shoulders about whether to ask the next question or not.
Then, she looked into his eyes glisteng in the pale moonlight.This frosty blue made her shiver especially in this very moment.
"Spike, do you still want me to trust you ?"
Her expression was like a mask but she knew it would brake in the next seconds.
But he didn't say anything. His face was as grim as hers. Then he turned around and headed back towards the crypt, his open shirt fluttering behind him.
What was this about ? A new game ? Some new way to torture her ?
Buffy followed him in an instant but as she reached the crypt the door was shut.
Great, nice shot, Buffy. Now you pissed him off with that stupid question. But why did she even worry about it ? She didn't trust him either. But she wanted it. She wanted this question to be asked and she was waiting for an answer.
With one hand she pushed the door open. He must have put some oil on it lately, it was way easier to open it.
The crypt lay in total darkness and it took her eyes several seconds to adjust. Then she took a look around but she couldn't see nothing but his old furniture, the TV and the stone coffin. So he was in the basement.
It was a weird imagination that a crypt had a basement but it was kind of comfortable though. She has told him two days ago that she liked it after they had smashed it up again.
Carefully watching her steps, Buffy climbed down the ladder. Her feet made a hollow sound on the concrete.
"Spike ?" she asked in the darkness. He was lingering somewhere, she could feel and it made her not really self-confident. She didn't like it when she couldn't see him, when he was watching her.
Suddenly a blindfold was wrapped around her head.
"What ..?" she began but his cold fingers closed her mouth.
"Shh.. if you really trust me, keep your hands still and don't remove the blindfold." His voice was ringing inside her head. His mouth was right beneath her ear and it made her shiver.
His hands rested on her shoulders but they moved forward to the collar of her jacket and pulled it back over her shoulders.
Buffy hated it from the very first moment. Why had she come back to him ? She hated being blind and kind of helpless and he was undressing her. Her self-confidence sank with every second and she regretted the question more than everything else.
"You're beautyful, you know that ?" Spike asked, his voice only a whisper but it was in front of her.
"What are you doing ?" Buffy asked back, her hands reaching out. Maybe she could touch him so that she knew were he was.
"It's just what you wanted. You wanted to know, if you can trust me !" Now his voice came from behind.
This was more than creepy. His movements were so swift that she couldn't even sense them.
Suddenly she felt his hand on her shoulder again. She damned herself for wearing a kind of see-through-shirt but she had handed herself over to him so it was her own fault.
Everytime he touched her skin she shivered. This was impossible, she had never felt like this when somebody had touched her. Not with Riley, not even with Angel.
His hands moved under shirt, grabbed the tissue and pulled it over her head. The blindfold was not moving an inch.
Buffy felt his cold breath on her neck, the bare skin of his chest on her back. He wrapped his arms around her waist but then he moved away again. His hands were still keeping contact to her skin.
Slowly he removed the straps of her bra and then removed it completely.
A shiver crawled down her spine
Why was he just exposing her skin without really touching and kissing her ? But she wanted to kiss him, in this moment she knew it.
The dangerous this little game was the more it thrilled her, the more she wanted it. Buffy bent her head down and concentrated on him. Maybe she could foresee what Spike was doing next. But there was nothing, nothing to sense.
"Do you think I would hurt you ?"
She heard his voice in front again. But then she could feel him coming closer, her fingers nibbling on the waistband of her pants.
Buffy didn't know the answer and remained silent.
"You think, I would bite you ?"
She tried to shrugg a little but she focused on the feeling of his hands unbuttoning her pants and pulling the zipper down.
For a second she was honest to herself She wanted it so much, she couldn't stand the waiting anymore.
Why was he torturing her with these questions ?
Without being asked Buffy kicked her shoes off as he pulled her pants down her legs. His fingers were sliding over her bare skin. It was tickling a little but she shook it off.
Then he took her hand and guided her over to the bed.
"Sit down !" he instructed and she followed. She knew that he was watching her, she withdrew on the bed until she reached the middle. She felt him crawling over to her but he was not kissing or touching her. He avoided her skin for some reason.
Then he shifted to one side, laying beneath her.
"Do you trust me ?" he asked again and Buffy wished she could see in his eyes in this moment, see his face, see anything. But she was still blind, she could just feel but that was good though.
She nodded slightly and her left hand reached out and she touched him somewhere on his stomach.
Spike grabbed her wrist and removed her hand from his body.
"I told you to keep your hands still !" he murmured but there was no anger in his voice. Sure, he wanted her to touch him but that would blow up the game.
Buffy couldn't believe in her own acting as she rose both her arms over her head where she touched the head of the bed. Only seconds later the cuffs closed around her wrists. She was tied up to the bed and she couldn't move her arms anymore, she could only shift slightly.
In general she hated being tied up but this was different, this was thrilling and…
Her thoughts broke away as he stroked her short hair aside. She remembered how she had cut it, because he had said he loved it Recently, everything happened because of him. This happened because of him, because she wanted him to touch her, to devour her.
His fingers touched her face, his thumb stroked her lower lip slightly. She so waited for a kiss, just a single one to calm her down.
But his hand took its path down her neck, over her collarbones and slightly over her breasts. But he did not stop there. It irritated her on the one hand but it also drove her kind of insane not to feel his touch there like he always touched her.
It was hell just to lay there beneath him, to know that he was there and not to touch him. So needed it to be touched, although she would never tell him.
But her thoughts trailed off again as his hand moved further down over her stomach and her thighs. Buffy panted slightly and she was going to sigh a little but in the last second she kept it inside.
Then his fingers ran over her panties and slowly he pulled the tissue apart. She held her breath expecting what he might do next. Althought he hadn't done anything yet she felt the tickling arousle inside her body.
She liked his cold hands, for her body becoming warm and even hot under this soft touch. Buffy moistured her lips and bit on the lower one as his fingers ran over her curls and slightly he began to message her clit with one finger.
She sighed loudly and shifted nearer to him. Why was he so sensitive to her ? He could take her on every way he wanted now, she was blind and bound. He could do whatever he wanted to her but he didn't.
She whispered his name when Spike continued to touch her on her most sensitive spot. Slowly he circled around her clit and her arousle rose with every second. She so wanted to pull him close, to let him inside that it became a kind of torture for her.
Carefully he slipped inside of her with two fingers. Buffy moaned and bent under his hand. She pushed her head into the pillow as he began with a soft movement. He pulled his fingers back only to push them back in an instant later.
Her breath became faster and she could only gasp a little. Everytime she wanted to fill her lungs with air she could only moan. Sometimes it was his name, but in general it was the deep pleasure she felt.
She rolled to one side, her knee touched the rough tissue of his jeans as he slipped even deeper into her.
Buffy knew she couldn't keep it inside any longer. He was driving her over the edge like he did everytime. The moment she came she let out a short scream which echoed in the crypt.
She whispered his name again under her breath. Her head felt numb inside but this wasn't over. She knew it.
Her hair stuck on her wet forehead. He had withdrawn his hand from but it still rested on her thigh.
She still panted heavily.
"Oh my god !" she whispered again after her body had calmed down again.
Although she was still tied to the bed, Spike removed the blindfold to look into her eyes. He didn't say a word though, because there was nothing to say.
He could read from her eyes as well and Buffy knew what they were expressing. She felt a strong hunger for him, for his body, his kisses, his strength.
Her lips were shaking a little as he bent down to her and kissed her softly, but also very passionately and deeply. His tongue flickered into her mouth and he softly bit into her lower lip. He always did that.
With a swift movement he had removed his pants, Buffy didn't really get everything in the moment, and then he was over her. His hands caressed the skin of her arms as he kissed her again. More passionate this time and Buffy could feel his hunger as well.
They didn't need a kind of foreplay this time, in general they never needed one. She pulled her legs towards her body to let him in and he captured her mouth with another kiss as he slipped into her.
Although she had liked his hand caressing her, nothing could ever top this. His hand cupped one of her breasts and his thumb ran over the hardened nipple. That was way he always touched her, like she had wanted it before.
As Spike began to move inside her she closed her eyes. She just wanted to enjoy it, she trusted him to bring her over the edge again. His kisses moved further down and he slightly sucked on her nipples, his tongue softly circling around it.
Buffy wished she could touch him as well and she tried to lower her arms, the cuffs clanged against the bed. Her wrists started to hurt a little but the rising arousle overcast the pain.
Suddenly Spike withdrew his head from her, also his movements had stopped. Buffy opened her eyes only to look into his own yellow eyes. He has transformed into his own demonic self. This had never happened to him before but Buffy was not scared at all. It thrilled her to see him like this.
"Kiss me !" she instructed under her breath and wrapped her legs around his hips to ull him deeper inside.
For a second that seemed almost eternal he looked into her eyes to make sure she really wanted it, but her gaze told him that she was serious about this.
So he bent down again and kissed her again. It was a hard and deep kiss, but she loved it. She could feel his sharp teeth scratching her lips but it didn't scare her at all.
Buffy also knew that he was going to come in the next moment. They always came simultanously for some reason she could not explain.
The vampire burried his head beside hers and a deep growl escaped his throat as he came in the same moment Buffy did. Again she screamed but now she pulled her arms down and the chain of the cuffs broke.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, the sharp ends of the broken cuffs scratching his back.
She felt his face transforming back to his human appearance and he rolled off of her.
Buffy herself turned over to the other side. For some weird reason she didn't want to face him now.
She was a little ashamed. He had her feelings in his hand, had taken control of her and that was one thing she hated more that anything. She was the one who was supposed to have control.
Although it was as good and exhausting as always, she somehow regretted it.
She stood up, her knees still a bit weak, and started collecting her clothes again.
"What's wrong, luv ? What's the matter this time ?" she heard Spike's disappointed voice behind her.
"This.. this is wrong !" she answered hesitatingly.
"Well, running away everytime you explode right in my arms is kinda wrong, yeah !" She heard the rusteling of his body on the bed. She didn't dare to turn around as she started to dress.
"That's not.. this has to stop !"
Buffy's voice was shaking with anger. Why did he have to tell her the truth right into her face ? Then she slowly turned around. Spike sat on the bed, his face grim and disappointed.
"Take 'em off !"
She reached out her arms, the broken cuffs dangling from her wrists.
"Maybe you should keep 'em for the next time you want to trust somebody who loves you. Kind of a theme present though !" he snapped, but then he reached somewhere under the bed to produce a little key on a silver chain.
He grapped her wrist violently and unlocked the cuffs. Then he threw them away into the darkness of the crypt.
"I tell you what, pet. You should never forget whose name you're moaning in your pleasure moments."
Spike let loose from her wrists and pushed her away.
With a grim expresssion on her face Buffy turned around and climbed up the ladder.
In a hurry she left the crypt and headed over the cemetary towards the town center.
This was not good. She became doubts about what she'd done. It wasn't fair to leave every time but she couldn't stand it to be around with him after screaming his name in exitement.
This had to end. Soon.
Otherwise, she would really start to like him, though she trusted him now.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!