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Author's Corner

[Reviews - 10]

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ePub eBook

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Authors Chapter Notes:
Warning: I have read and re-read this story over a dozen times, but it is missing the careful eye of a beta! So if grammar errors aren’t your thing then turn back now.

However if you have a bit of free time, or your good with the ‘what shoulds’ and ‘what should nots' of storytelling (fixing grammatical errors, and correcting sentence structure mostly) then send me an e-mail if your interested in giving a poor gal a hand with this. I only ask that you have some experience, and can give criticism without being a big ol’ meanine. If anyone is interested please let me know, the story desperately needs some fixing up. kotakins@ymail.com

Warnings: Sexual situations, and a tinsy bit of Buffy/Other Spike/Other, but nothing serious or groiny. Lots of angst. (And temporarily some major errors until I can find a willing beta)

I know the 'Spike is a super cool rock star' story has been done once or twice, but please leave a review so I know if this one is good enough, and unique enough to continue. Thanks!

The song, the voice, it couldn’t be, could it? She paused, starring blankly at her car radio, oblivious to the horns, and screaming drivers speeding past her on the two lane road. There she sat, her foot firmly on the break, her car at a complete stop in the middle of the busy street. Nothing could shake her from the moment, or the realization that was quickly crashing down on her.

Those years she had ignored him, day after day she had rejected him, knowing he would never amount to anything; or so she thought. It seemed impossible looking back on how he was then, but now hearing his voice echoing throughout her car, and invading her ears, she found she had new regrets.

However in high school it would have been social suicide to admit it, or even let on that she enjoyed the sound of his voice, or even the somewhat cheesy lyrics that sometimes accompanied his acoustic guitar playing skills. The familiar harmony reminded her of the first time she heard the song, the one he wrote for her.


“But I’ve been lookin’ at you with your long blond hair, pretty little face bobbin’ every where. Look so good when you come my way…” William whispered in time to the strum of his guitar. Every now and then bending over to make a note or two. He had been working on the song for weeks now, and it still just didn’t seem right, the notes were all wrong, the lyrics possibly needed adjusting, and the constant corrections were confusing him.

He sighed heavily as he sat at the far corner of the courtyard, having his own little bench, and no one around to be bothered with. He had become accustom to being left alone, unless someone thought of something they deemed witty enough to insult him with. He took it, never wasting his time trying to make friends, or change people’s opinions about him, he just ignored them and kept writing.

All he had was his music, and his writings to keep him occupied, quite often they intertwined. His stories spawned new ideas for songs, and his songs created wonderful plot lines for his next short story. He had somehow found contentment in his own world, which only made him a larger target for ridicule from his classmates. William had only been in the states for a few short months, long enough to meet everyone in the tiny town of Sunnydale, but long enough to realize just how much he didn’t care about any of the towns people.

That was except for one.

She was his ray of hope, his muse, the one thing that made each day worth living. Buffy. More then likely the cheerleader slash fiesta queen slash prettiest girl in school had no idea he was an actual living thing opposed to a shadow that haunted the opposite side of the courtyard. This made no difference to him, she was just as beautiful up close as she was far away, and the brightness of her smile could affect him even if he was just imagining it.

With Angel Conners around he was not even aloud to breathe the same air she did, the bruit made sure of that with every male on the campus. Her over baring, over protective boyfriend made things so much more complicated, the fact Angel was well aware of William’s interest in Buffy, only made them unimaginably worse. Every opportunity to humiliate William was taken by Angel and his small group of friends, and every so often the bunch would go out of their way to gather around to poke fun at him. Of course his out dated clothes, and curly brown hair were easy targets, however the boys knew where to direct their attentions to hurt him the most. His songs.

“I don’t think you know my name…I think you’d leave me a’ standin’ in the rain.” He whispered to himself, strumming his old beat up guitar. Scratches and faded color showed the age of the instrument, also the extent of its use. He tapped against the wood to the beat playing in his mind, as he jotted down a few more notes, returning the pencil to his mouth. Concentrating hard, he bit into the pencil, playing the short tune once more.

Growing frustrated with the rhythm in his mind that he just couldn’t seem to translate into notes he looked up, running his hands through his messy hair. He propped his arms against the guitar in his lap he looked at all of his fellow students, all struggling for their place in the popularity ladder. Then he found her, his angel, sitting just on the other side of the courtyard. There she was in all of her golden grandeur, the sun reflecting a radiant glow against her face.

His attention was brought back to earth when she caught him staring. He quickly looked to the side, his hand coming up to his face, pretending to be interested in anything else. Why did she have to look at him? It seemed like she always knew when he was looking at her, and so did her boy.

Right on cue, when he turned to check if she was still looking in his direction from the other side of the courtyard he watched disappointedly as Angel arose from his bench and headed his way. William sighed, rolling his eyes as he sat his guitar to the side knowing the twit was having to think of something demeaning to say as he approached, he could never come up with anything good on the spot. Angel was good at many things, throwing footballs, being a complete idiot, and…well that was all William could think of. One thing he was not good with was witty, or even intelligent comebacks. Much to William’s amusement.

“So Willy, hows that new song comin’?” Angel asked, looking down at him, folding his arms over his chest. Angel always seemed to look down at people, William suspected it was because he would be unable to see any thing if he looked up, that large protruding forehead could prove to be a problem.

“Oh its cumin, probably not as fast as you though….” William said picking his guitar back up, and adjusting it back in his lap, giving the bruit a few seconds to catch up.

Angel cocked his eyebrow in confusion but chose to ignore it. William couldn’t help but roll his eyes, he was always in awe of the stupidity.

“Seen ya lookin’ at my girl.” Angel said, pretending to be friendly as he sat down on the bench next to him, putting his arm around his shoulder as if they were good buddies. “Must really be hard knowin’ you’ll never have anything like that.” He paused looking at his lovely little girlfriend chatting with her buddies. “Knowing she’s never going to talk to you, or even care enough too.” He exhaled dramatically. “That’s gotta be rough buddie.” Angel smiled, gripping his shoulder tightly.

William opened his mouth to speak, or move but Angel only gripped him tighter. “And just know, if I ever catch you lookin’ at her again…” His face turned back to William. “I’ll break your arm, and we’ll see how well you play this thing then.” His face still had that mocking smile, but his words were full of venom as he gave William’s beloved guitar a slight tap.

“Angel?” A soft voice spoke, causing both men to look away from each other. “Me and Willow’s gonna go to the mall after school, is that cool?” She asked, not bothering to look at William.

“Yeah, sure sweetie.” He released William’s arm. “Just spending time with my good buddie Willy, you haven’t met him have you?” Angel asked, finding joy in the expression on William’s face.

“Um, I think I have that one class with you, your that kid from London right?” Buffy asked, taking the lollypop from her mouth.

“Yeah.” He replied nervously, not able to look up from the grass for more then a second, he could feel his entire body trembling.

She smiled. She smiled! At him! He could barely see it, but her face was just in range of his peripheral vision, causing him to look up at her. He was wrong, she was even more beautiful up close.

“I’m Buffy.” She said, popping the sucker back in her mouth.

“William, and it’s English.” He said softly.

“Huh?” She scrunched her nose in amusement at his strange accent.

“Second period, English.” He spoke, a little bit braver after managing to make her giggle.

“Well, Willy boy here has a song to finish. Come on sugar lets not bother him.” Angel said standing up to put an arm around his girl, not liking the fact that she was getting along with the looser.

“Really, you sing?” She said with a hint of excitement in her voice, she had noticed him and his guitar once or twice but she never really paid him much attention before now.

He shook his head ‘no’ he could barely form coherent words with her around, let alone sing.

“Oh come on, sing something.” She enthusiastically pleaded, ignoring Angel’s attempts to pull her away. Tugging her arm back she held her ground in front of William, she knew Angel was a bit over protective but she wanted to hear him sing. Or at least figure out why he carried that big instrument around all day.

“Buffy.” Angel said, a warning in his voice.

William watched her become frustrated, and if the girl wanted to stay he wanted to give her a reason, if nothing else to watch it get under Angels skin. She asked so nicely, he just couldn’t refuse her request. In fact he felt as though he would have done anything for her.

“Alright.” He quickly agreed before Angel could drag her away. He pulled his guitar closer as he cleared his throat. “Still workin’ on this one, guess I feel alright about you bein’ the first to hear it.” He said attempting to hold back the smile, but failing to keep from blushing as she looked at him with those gorgeous green eyes.

He began to strum the guitar, changing notes a few times before adding a new lyric to his song in progress, right there, right on the spot she had inspired him.

“Pretty lil’ girl gotta’ thing for me
Gonna cut me open and let me bleed.”

He began, still unsure where he was going with the new part of the song, just praying it sounded as good in his head as it did to her.

“But I been lookin’ at you with your long blond hair
Pretty lil’ face bobbin’ everywhere
Look so good when you come my way
But I have to look down when you talk to me
Cuz your dangerous.
Your dangerous…
And you don’t even know it.”

He stopped, realizing he had just finished the chorus, and he had just played it for Buffy herself.

“Why’d ya stop?” She pouted a bit, looking at him, down at his guitar then back at his blood red face. She found it kinda cute that he was embarrassed. “It was good.” She smiled, impressed with his musical talent. So maybe it was obvious he had a little crush, but she paid no attention to it, it would kill her social status to be seen with someone that far down on the social ladder.

“Buffy.” Angel said gripping her arm tighter, this time using force and pulling her back a step. This time she couldn’t wiggle free.

William got up from his bench, dropping his beloved instrument falling to the ground without a second thought. “The lady wants to hear a song.” He said calmly, his eyes fixated dead on Angel’s.

“She deserves to hear something a little better then that shit.” Buffy made a small whimper to protest, but Angel ignored her. “Sides’ you shouldn’t waste your time writing songs about my gal.” He said smugly.

William felt his heart sink, and his lunch rise in his throat.

“That was about me?” Buffy turned to ask, Angel finally releasing his grip, knowing this would be much more entertaining.

“Buffy-” William started, finding it hard once again to look her in the face. A few other people were starting to become aware of the commotion at the far end of the courtyard.

“I don’t even know you.” She realized. “Why?” She asked looking him up and down anxiously.

William looked up at Angel helplessly.

“Willy has a crush, aww, how cute.” Angel whispered to Buffy. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this, why don’t you go meet up with Willow.” He said kissing her on the top of her head, the couple both looking at a very nervous William.

She walked away, every now and then turning back to see what was going on. Angel however never took his eyes off William.

He saw the fist coming, felt the pain, but it all happened to quick for him to realize what was happening. The next thing he knew his face was pulsing in pain and he was looking up from the ground at Angel. William was disoriented but it only took him a few seconds to realize he had just been punched.

“Angel!” They heard a screech as Buffy raced back to the scene, tossing her sucker to the ground. “Why’d ya do that for, he didn’t actually do anything!” She frowned falling to the ground to inspect Williams eye.

“What is going on here!” The very familiar voice brought everyone’s attention to the teacher standing in their presence.

“Miss Calendar.” Angel forced his best gentleman voice.

“Shut it Conners, everyone else in this school might be fooled because you can throw a ball, but I’ve have enough of your pathetic excuses. Schneider’s office now!” She ordered pointing the way. Angel walked away, turning back once to look at his girlfriend helping that looser up. He clutched his fists as his heels came down harder on the earth.

“Summers would you mind walking him to the nurses office.” The teacher asked politely, before turning around to follow Angel.

She grabbed his guitar before pressing her arm against his shoulder to keep William upright.

“Why?” She asked quietly watching the rest of her classmates enter the school, leaving them alone on the courtyard.

“I just…” He quickly realized he didn’t have an answer, of course he was strongly attracted to her, but there was just something else about her that drew him to her.

“I liked your song, but can ya just not write any thing else about me, its kinda creepy.” She asked kindly as she walked him back over to his bench. “Wanna at least finish the song, I did like it.” She asked, a bit bashfully, sure knowing it was actually about her made it a little awkward, but the tune was catchy.

“Sure Pet.” He said grabbing his guitar. “Really shouldn’t have written it, I’m sorry.”

She nodded accepting his apology. “Play me the song and we’ll call it even.”

He picked up the familiar beat that had been plaguing his mind, the same one he had played a hundred times. This time it was easier, it was just him and Buffy, and she willingly wanted to hear the song he had written for her.

“I don’t think you know my name.
I think youd’ leave me standin’ in the rain

“But I been lookin at you with your long blond hair
Pretty little face bobbin every where
Look so good when you come my way”

Buffy watched as he played, entranced by the smoothness of his voice, and the intensity of his face. His blue eyes seemed to light up as he sang, a true sign that he had found his passion. Every now and then he would build the courage to check her face, and he was never let down with what he saw. That beautiful smile made the black eye well worth it.

“But I have to look down when you talk to me
Cuz your dangerous”
Your dangerous
And you don’t even know it.”


Buffy reflected back so many years ago on that day he sang to her, the first time he had ever sang that song to anyone. The song he had written about her. Sure he was good back then, but over the years his voice had become more polished, and sounded even smoother.

She had let him finish what little portion of the song he had written, but immediately after she walked him to the nurses office she begged him to never speak to her again. She was sure they would have made good friends, and she would have always been willing to listen to whatever songs he had written, she just loved the sound of his voice. However if she continued it would only lead to more fighting and she loved Angel to much to make him angry with her.

William seemed to understand, and agreed, he had never actually gotten his hopes up that he would be with her. Just speaking with her surpassed all of his wildest dreams. Still for the next three years he would look at her, and she would smile before turning away and ignoring him completely for the rest of the week. Still those small stolen looks from across the courtyard spawned several ideas for new songs.

Now four years later she regretted that decision William had made it big, and her song was on the top twenty countdown. If only she had of been nicer, and not ignored him for the sake of her popularity things could have been different, sure she was not attracted to him, but just being able to say she was best friends with a rock star back in high school would have been neat.

“And that was Dangerous by Spike.” The radio announcer came on once the song ended.


Chapter End Notes:
Song : Dangerous By James Marsters. Yes I'm temporarily tampering with the lyrics for a bit.

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