Chapter one
Los Angeles, present time
Buffy was waken by screaming. Looking around her dark bedroom, her heart thumping in her chest, she realized it had been her screaming in her sleep. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember what had scared her. Slowly, the memories of the dream came back to her. The Dream. The one she had been having on and off for the past seven years, ever since that summer...
Sighing, Buffy threw the covers aside and got out of bed. She had been waiting for the dream to start again, it always came back this time of year. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had hoped that maybe it wouldn’t this year, but realized it was too much to hope for.
The shrink she had seen for a total of two sessions had said that she needed closure. Like Buffy couldn’t have figured that one out by herself. The only problem was; she wasn’t going to get it. She hadn’t seen Spike in seven years, and she had no intention of ever seeing him again. Not after the way he had treated her all those years ago.
She reached for the phone, and glanced at the watch. 6 30 a.m. 9 30 on the east coast. Willow would be up.
Three rings went through before Buffy’s red headed friend picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Wils.”
“Hey, Buffy, how’re things in sunny California?” Willow asked.
“Sunny as ever.” Buffy responded, twirling the phone cord around her finger. This was their little routine, every time they talked on the phone Willow asked the same thing and Buffy gave the same answer.
“You gonna come visit any time soon?”
Buffy sighed. This was another of their routines. Willow would ask Buffy to come visit, and Buffy would refuse. She hadn’t been back to Sunnydale since THAT summer. She wasn’t sure she’d ever go back, the town just held too many memories.
“You and Oz were just here a couple of weeks ago, you can’t miss me already.” Buffy tried to joke.
“We all miss you, you know that. We just want you to come home.” Willow said, her voice kind.
“LA’s my home now.” Buffy replied quietly. “And not all of you.”
“He misses you too, you know.” Willow said, instinctively knowing who Buffy was talking about.
“Oh yeah? Then why hasn’t he called, or e-mailed, or... or something?”
“Have you?”
“I’m not the one who behaved like an asshole.” Buffy replied. “Who’s side are you on, anyway?”
“I’m not on anybody’s side, you’re both my friends, OK? And I’m not defending his behavior, but he was just a kid. You both were. And he’s never really talked about it, so we don’t know everything.” Willow tried, but Buffy wouldn’t budge.
“I know enough.” They were both quiet for a moment before Willow broke the silence.
“Isn’t it time to let go of the past?”
Buffy let Willow’s words sink in. Was it time to let go of the past? She had held on to it for so long, afraid that if she didn’t she’d forget. And, even though she didn’t think she could ever forgive Spike, she didn’t want to forget any of their time together.
“Buffy? You still there?” Buffy heard Willow’s voice over the line and snapped out of her thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I know you don’t wanna come here right now, but maybe for Christmas? Or Thanksgiving? Or just for a weekend, it doesn’t have to...”
“I’ll come to Sunnydale.” Buffy cut Willow off. “I have three weeks vacation that my boss has been nagging me to use, so I will. Can I stay with you and Oz?”
“Of course!! Oh, sweetie that’s so great, everyone will be so happy to see you!” Willow squeeled and Buffy put the phone a few inches from her ear.
“Thanks a lot, Wils, now I won’t hear a thing for the rest of the day.”
“Nothing you say is gonna get me down, so don’t even bother.” Willow announced, and Buffy giggled with her friend. “So, call and let me know when you’re coming, and I’ll tell the others.”
“Actually, could you... not?” Buffy asked.
“Why?” Willow asked, confused.
“I just... I haven’t seen all of you in so long, I want to...” Buffy trailed off, not sure how to explain her hesitance without saying what she actually meant.
“He wants to see you.” Willow said, emphasizing every word.
“And so you keep telling me.” Buffy agreed. “I just don’t wanna give him a chance to skip town.”
“He won’t.” Willow assured her. “So, you’ll see him? I mean talk to him, really talk?”
“I guess I will. It’s time to get on with my life.”
“Good for you.” Willow said.
“I haven’t done it yet, have I?”
*****
Half an hour later, Buffy hung up the phone. Since it was Sunday, she didn’t have to get up for work, so she laid back on the bed, letting her mind wander to the first time she’d seen him.
Sunnydale, 1996
Buffy was walking down the hallway of Sunnydale High School in Sunnydale, New Jersey. It was her first day of junior year, and her first day at Sunnydale High, since her family had moved to Sunnydale during the summer. Buffy hadn’t found one thing she liked about the small town in the three weeks she’d been here. Sunnydale was a one-Starbucks-town, which in Buffy’s world, translated to boring. They didn’t even have a Macy’s and the mall was half an hour away on the freeway. Buffy was used to living in LA, where there was always something going on, and even though her dad had said that she would adjust to their new life in no time, she still hadn’t.
“Hey, watch it!” The words pulled Buffy out of her line of thoughts seconds before she crashed to the ground, having bumped into someone.
“Sorry.” She mumbled as she tried to get her books and things together from all over the floor.
“Yeah, well, no harm.” Buffy looked up as the owner of the, she suddenly realized, sexy voice with a British accent, walked away. She liked what she saw, though. A black, long leather coat, bleached, almost white hair and black jeans.
‘Yummy’ she thought to herself as she managed to get all her things back in her backpack and stood up. ‘Maybe there’s something good about this town after all.’.
“You OK?” Buffy turned at the sound to find a red headed girl and a brunette boy behind her. “We saw what happened.” The girl continued.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just clumsy is all.” Buffy replied, spotting a lip stick that she had missed and quickly picked it up.
“He thinks he owns this school.” The boy said, looking down the hallway where the hot guy had now disappeared around a corner.
“Don’t start with your ‘I hate Spike campaign’ again, Xander.” The red head said, slapping the guy on the arm. “Let her make up her own mind.” She turned back to Buffy. “I’m Willow, and this is Xander. You’re new, right?” Buffy nodded.
“Yeah, moved here a couple of weeks ago. I’m Buffy.”
“Welcome to Sunnyhell, then.” Xander said, disdain in his voice. “The town where nothing ever happens.”
“Could you not be so negative for once? You don’t want to scare her off on her first day here.” Willow complained, then continued to Buffy. “He doesn’t really like living here.”
“You don’t say?” Buffy replied, getting a smile from her new friend. “Anyway, he can’t really change my opinion about the town that much, from what I’ve seen so far, he’s right.”
“No, seriously, there are a few good things about Sunnydale.” Xander said, and Buffy gave him a disbelieving look. “Willow, I think it’s time for the secret weapon.”
“What are you going to do to me?” Buffy asked suspiciously, but both Willow and Xander just smiled.
Los Angeles, present time
Buffy remembered that day like it was yesterday. After her first day at Sunnydale High – which had continued the way it started, she managed to drop her tray in the cafeteria and bump into the school’s head cheerleader, as well as her bag a few more times – Willow and Xander had taken her sight seeing. They had gone to all of their favorite hang outs in the town, and ended up at the Bronze, a club that let everyone in. It had turned out to be one of the best days in Buffy’s life so far, and at the end of it she was actually looking forward to living there.
A lot of the good days had been in Sunnydale with Willow and Xander and her other friends. And with him. Unfortunately, so had a lot of the bad ones.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!