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Authors Chapter Notes:
This is a one-shot I've had lurking in the back of my mind for a while now. I've never written a fanfic before, and this is un-beta'd.
"Quotes" = direct speech
Italics = thoughts
Bold = text message


Casually outspread on the stone sarcophagus, Spike’s hand pumped his member furiously as he grunted his release into the receiver of the stolen mobile phone. Momentarily placated, he muttered some insincere words of praise and ended the call.



It was the third night this week he’d called Harmony for a bit of rough and tumble. Spike was satisfied with their new arrangement; the silly bint was much easier to get rid of when all you had to do was hang up. Sacrificing the feel of her curvaceous body under his was a cross he was wiling to bear if it meant he didn’t have to listen to her constant prattle about unicorns and sodding France.



Of course, it was all a ruse. Spike was fully aware that he was loves bitch; his un-beating heart belonged to one girl, and one girl only. But the Slayer would never give him a second glance, even if she weren’t currently shacked up with Captain Cardboard. This awful truth was the reason Spike had slipped onto campus in the dead of night to liberate some unsuspecting freshman of their fancy mobile phone. The bloody thing even allowed you to send photos and videos – neat! Spike had every intention of utilising this function once he taught himself how to use the blasted thing.



_____



When she was certain that Riley was asleep, Buffy rolled over and reached into her underwear drawer. With one last exasperated look at her boyfriend sprawled out on her bed, she took her trusty vibrator into the shower in a desperate attempt to find the release she craved.



Not that she had much to go on – one virginal fumble with Angel and a single tryst with Parker wasn’t much of a sexual resume – but Buffy initially attributed Riley’s lack of passion in the bedroom to shyness. She had always hoped that as their relationship progressed, he’d come out of his shell and satisfy her over and over. No such luck. This was the Slayer’s third packet of batteries this month – and Buffy has a sinking feeling this wasn’t due to her super-powers craving a bit of rough. She doubted Riley could help a normal girl find release, either.



With Riley in the next room, Buffy rarely felt able to truly let go as she hurriedly thrust the vibrator into her sopping pussy. The release she found didn’t satisfy her deep down, she always needed to end the evening with a good slaying session. Quiet as a mouse, she set off for the nearest cemetery.



_____



Harmony knew it was no secret that she was besotted with her Blondie-Bear. Spike didn’t treat her particularly nicely, but she didn’t mind as long as he kept saying those deliciously dirty things to her – and made good on his promise to corrupt her further, with filthy photos and videos. She knew that engaging in their trysts over the phone was a much better arrangement for her immediate safety. A misguided attempt to snack on the Slayer’s best friend secured Harmony’s foot well and truly in her own ass. The vampire knew her next step out of line where Buffy Summers was concerned would be her last.



Although blonde, Harmony wasn’t altogether stupid. The former cheerleader was fully aware of Spike’s infatuation with the Slayer, and had begun to use this to her advantage. She’d never forget the night she lay alone on her satin-covered sarcophagus and pretended to be Buffy for the first time.



_____





“Spike you disgust me. You’re nothing but a thing. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t dust you – it’s my sacred duty after all.”

Spike was instantly hard as nails, a feral growl emitting from deep inside his chest.

“Harm, what do you think you’re playing at?”

“Harmony isn’t here. I’m Buffy. I’m the Slayer. Oh Spikeeeeee. I’m all alone in my bigggg bed, what do you wanna do to me?”



_____



Harmony had never known Spike to react so passionately. She came four times just listening to the combination of his reverent words and his gritty passion that rocked her to her core. It was this precise reason why Harmony was currently sashaying through Restfield cemetery. She was horny and needed some sugar from her Blondie-Bear. If she promised to leave right after, she was sure Spike wouldn’t send her away. It had been so long since she had felt his rippling muscles beneath her; all she wanted was a little taste.



____



Buffy was cursed. It truly was the only explanation. She had hit three cemeteries already and hadn’t encountered one vamp. All she wanted was one. Good. Slay. Was that too much for a girl to ask for? As the Slayer rounded the corner to Restfield, she couldn’t believe her luck.



Harmony. Still holding a grudge against the vampire for trying to make Willow a midnight snack, Buffy didn’t think twice about dusting the annoying blonde. As she dusted herself down, Buffy noticed a light blinking in the bushes. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mobile phone. Nothing particularly fancy, but it seemed to get the job done as it was still blinking.



Two missed calls. Spike.



Hm. This must be Harmony’s phone. As if Spike was still seeing that loser.



Momentarily thrown off that Spike seemed to own a cell phone, Buffy soon realised that he probably stole it or won it during some illegal gambling. Of course. Silly Buffy. He’s evil. Hello!



Not feeling entirely satisfied from her shower and the slaying, Buffy set off in the direction of Spikes crypt to deliver the news of Harmony’s dusty ending. I can always count on Spike for a spot of violence, he’s so easy to rile up. Just as she had pocketed the cell phone it made a beeping noise. Ignoring it, the Slayer continued her stroll to Spike’s crypt. It was the second beep that broke her, the curiosity was too strong.



Message:

Harm, answer your sodding phone. You’re late for our call.




Hm. Never pegged Spike as the needy type.



Message:

Baby, it’s time to play. What’s wrong? Need me to send you a photo to get your motor all revved up?




Wait. Are they….is he….? Urgh, what a pig!



Buffy’s first reaction was to throw Harmony’s phone into the bushes and run home to scour her mind with bleach to get rid of the imagery. As a sinister smile reached her lips, plan B won out.



______



Spike was well and truly trashed. He had started drinking long before sunset and hadn’t stopped since. It didn’t help that he’d woke up with one hell of a raging hard-on courtesy of a Technicolor naked Buffy dream. Where was Harmony when you needed her? Fine if the silly bint isn’t interested, I’ve got Jack for company. Who needs women anyway?! It was with that thought that he passed out in his armchair in front of the TV.



_____



Needless to say, Buffy was a little pissed that Spike hadn’t tried to contact Harmony again last night. From the sound of the messages it seemed as though things were going to get steamy, what guy – undead or not – would pass on that? It was imperative to her plan that Spike made contact again. What better way to tell your mortal enemy their fuck-buddy is dust, than to do it as they’re turned on and vulnerable? This isn’t evil. He’s Spike. He has no real feelings anyway.



As the clock struck 1am, Buffy began to regret denying Riley the opportunity to stay over. Sure, he’s a lousy lay - but surely it’s better than sitting around waiting for a call from your mortal enemy? Just as she was about to throw in the towel, the phone emitted a high-pitched beep.



Message: Baby, it’s time to play. You know how I like it. I have a present for you. Be ready to answer my call in 5…



Buffy scrunched up her face. Was she really willing to do this? Risk the eternal grossness of hearing Spike grunting down the phone – all for the short-lived satisfaction of telling him she’d dusted Harmony? Its not like I have anything better to do.



Mentally preparing herself for the call, Buffy’s confusion grew when a slightly different pitched beep came from the cell phone. On closer inspection she noticed it was a picture message. This is too far. No photo from Spike can be a good photo. No, no, no.



Unfortunately, the Slayer’s brain seemed to have checked-out for the evening. Like ripping of a band-aid, Buffy swiftly clicked on the attachment and braced herself for whatever inappropriateness Spike was sure to have sent to Harmony.



She should’ve been repulsed. Outraged. At least a little wierded out. But as Buffy took in the sight before her eyes, she couldn’t help but notice a familiar tingle between her legs. Holy. Shit. He’s so much bigger than Riley. And those abs. NO. Bad Buffy. Bad, bad, bad. Spike had managed to snap a shot from his nipples down to the top of his muscular thighs. All of a sudden this childish game of Buffy’s was taking a serious tone. The devil and angel on her shoulders were battling this out as the phone began to ring. The angel won out, and Buffy decided to ignore the call.



Message: Not ready for me, baby? How about a little something more? (click to view attachment)



Without even thinking, Buffy clicked on the file and was immediately greeted with the sound of squelching. Her curiosity was short-lived. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is a video of…… He’s. He’s. Ew. It took all of thirty seconds for Buffy to shift her disgust into full-on lust. The Slayer was transfixed watching his hand fondling his balls, tugging his impressive member with the other, slickened with his saliva. What really made the last of her sanity flee were the sounds. The soft groans coming from Spike sent little shockwaves deep into her womb. She could feel her traitorous body responding. This is wrong. So so wrong. Riley.



Her arousal was growing by the second, so it really came as no surprise to her that Buffy answered the phone when it rang. What am I doing? He’s going to know I’m not Harmony!



“Baby, I’m so hard. Tell me, are you all wet for me?” Hoh.



Buffy knew she was in dangerous waters. It would be best to just hang up and turn off the cell-phone, never to mention this again.



“Hmmhmm. In character already? Fuck, you know I love when we get straight to it. This is my favourite fantasy.” Character? Spike has fantasies? Buffy listened intently, fully aware of the ridiculousness of the situation. I’ve stolen a cell phone and I’m getting turned on by my mortal enemy talking dirty. Hello lobotomy, when did you happen?



“Ohhhh. The things I could do to you if only you’d let me. Will you let Spike in? I’ll make it so good for you.”



Buffy’s hand moved to the hem of her oversized tee, toying with the fabric. Closing her eyes, and pretending Spike’s words weren’t meant for Harmony, she allowed herself to get lost in the sensations he was evoking in her.



“Are you ready for me baby? Please, don’t make me beg. Just be Buffy. Play the high-and-mighty Slayer like you know I love.”



Her hand creeping up her silky thigh, nearing the edge of her panties. Wait. What?



Buffy was shocked into stillness. Spike had Harmony pretend to be her? Sexually?! She knew she should be outraged, but if the flush to her chest and the dampness between her legs was any indication, she was too far gone to care. He thinks about me when he….? Hoh.



At this new information, she couldn’t help but let out a low groan as her panties flooded with wetness. A quiet groan, but he definitely heard it. Damn vampire hearing. I’m so busted.



“Mmmm, that’s it, luv. Knew my kitten wanted to play. Want to know what I’m doing to you right now?” Phew. Buffy was certain Spike didn’t pick up on her not being his bimbo of a girlfriend – there wasn’t a chance that he’d carry on if he thought Buffy was on the line.



With this comfort zone now set, Buffy settled down into her feathery pillows and gave into this bizarre occurrence. If this is only going to happen once I may as well enjoy it? It’s safe this way, he thinks I’m that vapid ho.



The slayer managed a soft “uh huh” as her fingers continued their exploration up her thighs and over the soft cotton of her panties.



“Oh Buffy. I can picture you, laid on that big girly bed of yours. Tug that shirt off for me, let me see your pretty little titties.”



Ablaze with lust, she made short work of stripping of her tee and awaited her next instructions. This is so hot. He's fantasising about me but doesn’t realise its me. Buffy had begun panting into the receiver, something that was clearly having an effect on Spike.



“Luv, are you touching yourself?”



Another “uh-huh” was her only reply.



“Hoh, Slayer. If I were there you know there wouldn’t be any gentleness. I’d have to have you now. Dig those pretty little nails into your nipple for me. Give it a good hard tug. Pretend it’s my teeth biting you. I know you like that, don’t you?”



Buffy couldn’t breathe, let alone manage a coherent response. I’m so turned on. Spike is making me hornier than I’ve ever been. What’s wrong with me?



As the instructions continued to roll off his tongue, Buffy ceased to care.



“Time to tease that gorgeous puss of yours. Take those knickers off, luv. Gently. That’s it. Now tease your folds with your fingertips. What do you feel?



Completely lost to lust, Buffy responded.



“Wet. Hot. So wet. Hoh”



Buffy’s hips were gyrating into the mattress as she teased her sopping pussy with one hand, and tugged hard on her nipples with the other.



____



Spike couldn’t believe his luck. He was hard beyond imagination with his fantasy coming to life right here in front of him. Don’t screw this up mate, don’t know how the Slayer ended up with Harm’s phone but she hasn’t ended the call, that’s got to mean something.



Smart enough to realise that Buffy’s lack of inhibitions were due to her anonymity, Spike played along – unwilling to call her out on it and have her stop that delicious moaning. God, those sounds. It’s gonna be over too soon if she keeps that up.



“Mmmm. Naughty slayer, all hot and wet for the Big Bad. What will I do next – do bad girls get rewarded or punished? Circle your clit for me luv, and slip two fingers into that kissable mouth of yours.”



____



Her mouth full of fingers, Buffy could only get out a “mhn-uh.”



“Good girl. I want you to suck on them. Suck those fingers hard and fast. Imagine your fingers are my cock. God, Buffy. Your mouth feels so good.” Eyes rolling back into her head, the Slayer sucked her fingers in earnest, imagining it was Spike’s cock sliding between her lips.



In complete desperation, Buffy moaned out a strangled cry “Spike. Please. Mmm. Ohhh.”



“Such a good slayer, begging your nasty vampire. Take those fingers out of your mouth and tease that slit of yours. Nuh-uh, don’t you slip a finger in. Take out that vibrator you love so much.”



Had her brain been functioning, logic would’ve told her to be angry that Spike had violated her privacy by rooting through her drawers. At the moment, she failed to care.

___



As Spike heard the low buzz of the vibrator, he thought he was going to lose it right there and then.



Fuck. Buffy is touching herself. Exactly how I’m telling her to. Fuck. Keep it together, mate. Gonna make the girl beg for more.



Determined to drive the Slayer wild, spike returned to his task. “That’s it, luv. Naughty slayer with her naughty toys – bet your Watcher doesn’t know what you’ve got hidden away in that knicker drawer?



___



Buffy was insane with lust. Writhing in a puddle of her own arousal, she let out his name on a whimper “Spike. Please!” Please. God, please. I need to come.



“Run that vibrator over your pussy lips…nice and gentle-like. That’s it. Now slide it over your clit. Gently. Gently. That’s it. Up and down. Up and down. God Buffy, your so wet I can hear it.”



This knowledge only fuelled her arousal further.



“Fuck. I’m so hard. I need to be inside you. Take that vibrator and slam it into your pretty cunny, in one hard stroke.



“HOH.” Yessssss. “Mmmmmmmmmmm”



“That’s it Buffy. Fuck yourself with that vibrator. Can you feel me slamming into you? One deep thrust and two shallow ones. Don’t you change this pattern. Can you feel me Slayer? God, you’re close aren’t you? Rub your clit, come for me, kitten.”



It took all of Buffy’s power to keep her thrashing to a minimum, to ensure the phone stayed nestled securely between her shoulder and her ear. As she impaled herself repeatedly, fuelled by Spikes moans and growls, one thought dominated the slayers mind. Hoh. Never had it so good. Need him. Need his cock. “OHHH SPIKE, I’m so close. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”



Too far gone to realise this was the largest sentence she’d uttered to him all night, buffy felt the tell-tale signs of an orgasm creeping up on her.



“Buffy. I’m gonna come. Come for me luv. Scream my name. Strangle my cock with those muscles.” As if they were made for each other, Slayer and vampire came together with a roar and a scream intense enough to wake the dead.



As her heartbeat began to slow, Buffy switched off the vibrator and stretched on the bed, phone still cradled by her ear. Spike just made me come. Why don’t I feel weird?



In a state of complete satisfaction, Spike unknowingly mirrored Buffy’s stretching.



“Luv, that was fantastic. Slayer, I hope you don’t dust me for this tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”



As the call was ended, Buffy sat bolt upright, mouth moulded into a shocked ‘o’. He knew. Spike knew it was me all along! That little….



Honestly, the thought didn’t bother her as much as she knew it should. Satisfied and exhausted, Buffy fell back into the pillows with a sleepy smile on her face.






Chapter End Notes:
Thank you for reading. Please feel free to review if you so wish :)




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