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Authors Chapter Notes:
Song is by P. Diddy from the "Godzilla" Soundtrack. I hope the song doesn't annoy anyone- it's because of it that I created this story in the first place.

The words in italics are thoughts of the characters. A special thanx to Buffyguide.com for the quotes and to my girls Messy and Tiffany for proofreading.

I do not own "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and I own nothing accept for my imagination. Joss Whedon and UPN, I hope you don't mind me borrowing your characters. I'm just a fan and a minor. Besides, I'm broke.


"So what I'm wondering is: does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?"

~Buffy~


“What a fantastic day. Birds singin'; squirrels makin' lots of rotten little squirrels. The sun beaming down in a nice nonfatal way. It's very exciting. I can't wait to see if I freckle.” Spike said with an infuriating smirk. Buffy, in a very pissed off mood, makes no retort as she stakes him in the chest.

“Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.” He said, holding the stake to his chest. Buffy pulls it back out, still gripping it tightly, though knowing it now to be useless.

"The Gem.” She said in a monotonous voice.

“Oh yeah, the Gem of Amara. Official sponsor of my killing you. So, you let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you knew each other that well. What exactly did it take to pry apart the Slayer's dimpled knees?” Spike teased.

“You're a pig, Spike.” Buffy replied, unsure of who she was more angry at- Spike, Parker, or herself…

Hear my cries * Hear my call * Lend me your ears* See my fall * See my error * Know my faults * Time halts * See my loss * Know I'm lacking * Backtracking * Where I met you * Pistol packing * Itchy finger * Trigger happy * Try to trap me * Bad rap * Wiretap me * Back-stab me * Break the faith * Fall from grace * Tell me lies * Time flies * Close your eyes

Come with me Come with me, Yeah Come with me,

You said to trust you * You'd never hurt me * Now I'm disgusted * Since then adjusted * Certainly you fooled me * Ridiculed me * Left me hanging * And my shit is * Boomeranging * Right back at you * Think long range * Narrow-minded * Left me blinded * I cosigned it * Shit backfired * But I'm bouncing back * I grinded * Not many would bear the pressure * You comprehend me * You want to end me * You offend me * It's trauma Feel the trauma * Come with me*


.... left uppercut to the Slayer's face.


"Come on, Slayer. You're not even trying. Surely Parker couldn't have tired you out that much. Legendary stamina and all." He added with another harsh kick to her midsection, causing her to fall to the ground. Buffy became too distracted with the demons from her past instead of properly dealing with the one right in front of her.

Hey, it was just a good time, right? Parker mentioned casually.

Yeah. Like I really wanted to stick around after that.

What?

You got a lot to learn about men, kiddo. Although I guess you proved that last night.

What are you saying?

Let's not make an issue out of it, okay? In fact, let's not talk about it at all. It happened.

I, I don't understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?

You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro. You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered.


Angel's words taunted her in her mind. The verbal assault of Spike in addition to the voices in her head finally caused her to burst into tears.

"Oi, Summers! You're making this too easy." He stared at her for a moment before coming out of his game face and sitting down beside her. Curiosity (and to his utter horror concern, which he was in deep denial over) got the better of him. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked, unsure if he even wanted to know.

"Like you care." She bit out angrily, furiously wiping at one side of her face.

"No, 'fraid not. But, I came here for a good, clean fight. And with you weepin' and carryin’ on, well it’s ripping all the fun out of it.” He groused. “So, you're upset cause the wanker blew you off, yeah?"

"Not just him. Seems like they- I'm not good enough." She whispered in a wavering voice.

‘Not good enough. Bloody well know what that’s like…’ He thought to himself, hearing old ghosts in his mind.

I know I'm a bad poet, but I'm a good man. All I ask is that... is that you try to see me-

I do see you - that's the problem! You're nothing to me, William. (She stands and looks down at him.) You're beneath me.
And worse than that, where the low self esteem really started.

Pleasure? To take my leave of you, of course. "The lark hath spoke from twix its wee beak." You honestly thought I could bare an eternity listening to that twaddle? That's who you'll always be; a limp, sentimental fool. You want to cry now, don't you? And his breaking point…

I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes.

"Bollocks. S'not true. They're all a bunch of bloody pillocks."

"How would you know anyway? They're probably right." She said in a defeated tone, heaving a huge sigh.

"Cause luv, nearly twelve decades, and I actually learned a thing or two, believe it or not. Besides, I've actually been exactly where you are now more times than I'd care to remember." He said the last part with the slightest twinge of bitterness. He wiped away a tear track on her left cheek, surprising both of them. She looked at him with a very much startled expression.

"I know just what you need, Summers. A little pick me up, is all. And although this place isn't very good in the least, it'll have to do. Come along kitten." He said as he rose up, extending a hand to her. She hesitatingly reached out to him and allowed him to help her up.

"So, where are we going?"

"Why, to the nearest bar here, pet."

"What, so you can get me all liquored up and then kill me?" She asked sarcastically.

"No, course not. Gotta wait for your hangover to pass first. But hey, no worries. I'll be piss drunk right beside you."

"Oh right cause hey, getting drunk with my favorite mortal enemy is such a grand idea." She said as she began to walk alongside him, proving she didn’t think it to be that a bad idea.

"Really pet? Your ‘favorite’ mortal enemy. Well I'm speechless."

"For once." She muttered under her breath.

"Ya know, I heard that pet. Play nice." He said in a chastising tone.

"Well, just as long as I don’t have any hard liquor..."

"But that's the best part!" He whined, pouty lip and all. But on the look she gave him, he conceded.

"Beer okay?"

"Fine."

"You sure just not one, innocent lil' shot?"

"A world of no."

"Pfft. Fine by me. Aah! Here we are pet! The best of the crappiest bars close to the campus. And looky looky. There's a nice private booth right over there." He said with false enthusiasm.

"Great." She said in a monotone, wondering how bad does it have to be for her to spend quality time with Spike, at a bar no less.

"Oi! Barkeep! Can we get some bloody service over here?!"

"Geeze, Spike! You don't haveta be so rude."

"Oh, come now, Slayer. It's his job and s'not like the place is crowded. Middle of the bleeding day. Oh, 'cept for the white bread losers over there."

*******************

"Damn college kids. Think they're better than me. I'll show 'em, though. Ha! I'll show them all..." The bartender muttered to himself as he filled the pitcher to the brim of Black Frost beer.

"Here you go sir, miss. A pitcher of Black Frost."

"Bout bloody time. Got any cashews?" Spike questioned.

"No, just peanuts."

"Bugger that." He said, dismissing the bartender with a casual wave of his hand.

"Mind if I smoke?" He said as he proceeded to remove a cigarette and his lighter from his duster pocket.

"Not like you'd stop if I said no." She replied, then taking a sip of the beer.

"Nope. I wouldn't. Just tryin' to be polite. Well, at least to sound like it." He said, giving her his trademark smirk.

"So, uh, what'd he say to get your knickers in a twist? Oh, damn. Definitely bad choice of words there." Buffy then took several gulps of beer. She promptly belched, loudly.

"Oh, excuse me."

"Boy Summers. Sure can take it like a man, can't you?"

"Shut up!" She said as she hit him in the arm.

"Okay, all right. Listening time, yeah?"

"Yeah. It’s just, is there something repulsive about me? Or am I just genuinely stupid in continuously falling for the wrong guy? I mean- god, you drink fast." She interrupted herself, commenting on the fact that he was now on his second glass.

"Yeah, well Vampire here. It'll take a helluva lot for me to lose my sobriety. 'Sides it's just beer and I was thirsty. But no." He said locking eyes with her. She regarded him with confusion.

"No? No what?"

"You're not repulsive in the least. And as far as the whole stupidity thing, well, you definitely made some bad choices in the opposite sex department. 'Specially Peaches. And you do have the whole 'dumb blonde' look going for you." He said in mock seriousness.

"This coming from someone who's dating record consists of Psycho Dru and Airhead Harmony? And hello? You're not exactly sporting your natural roots either, Billy Boy." She said, copying his mock serious tone.

"Well, got me there. Guess there's lots of parallels 'tween us." He replied while smirking.




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