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05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
12/23/16 01:12 pm
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10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!


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Chapter 1

Spike sang happily, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, one hand on the steering wheel, tapping in time to the music and his other arm around Drusilla who was unconscious on the seat next to him. He felt like life couldn’t get any better then that. They had escaped Angelus and death by the Slayer. He smiled remembering how he last saw them, Buffy on her knees about to be sliced in half by Angelus.

Spike laughed ruefully thinking how stupid he was to think that was the end and stupider still that he helped the slayer. That whole ordeal landed him where he was today. On his knees on a dirt-covered hard floor, fighting trial after trial because the powers that be decided he was to win his soul back. And all because he helped the slayer and now he was deemed a champion.

“Sodding hell,” Spike said aloud as he heard heavy footsteps approach him. He had already been burned and battled til his hands were bloodied and swollen and both eyes blackened.

“Stand up man – vampire,” the deep voice commanded.

Spike got to his feet slowly and faced the demon, a slight smirk on his badly bruised face.

“You have done what is required of you.”

“Done what is required? What the buggering fuck are you talking about? I do not want my soul. I don’t want to turn into a whimpering namby panby like my old pal Angel.”

“You have no choice. This is what you are chosen for. You will receive your soul.”

“I have no choice? Are you mad? I am William the Bloody. I have no use for a soul. I’m mean and evil. I’m the big bad for Christ’s sake.”

The demon stepped forward and placed his hand on Spike’s bare chest.

“Remember you earned this. Not only did the powers that be declare that you should have the return of your soul, you fought the required trials. You rose above and beyond what we thought you were capable of. This is for you…William.”

Spike looked down at his chest as the demon’s hand started to glow. A bright light fused through the hand into Spike’s chest making him cry out.

“Oh bloody hell,” he cried as darkness overcame him.


Meanwhile back in Sunnydale, Angel had already been returned from the hell dimension. He and Buffy were trying to make it as friends and were failing miserably. The Scoobies and Giles were wary of him and didn’t trust that he was back to being Angel and not the horror that was Angelus.

“Buffy are you sure about this? I know I am not the only one who has harsh reservations about allowing Angel to be around me – us – you,” Giles said, as he looked Buffy in the eye.

They were in the school library between classes. Willow and Xander were out with their respective other halves while Buffy was holed up with Giles.

Buffy shrugged slightly and looked away from Giles’ penetrating gaze.

“I know what’s in my heart and usually it conflicts with what is in my head. Right now Angel is not a threat. I know what he – Angelus did was inconceivably wrong but he isn’t Angelus anymore. He’s Angel.”

“He’s not Angelus? Buffy he will always be Angelus. Just because he has a soul does not mean that he will not become Angelus once again. It shouldn’t take a soul to anchor the good in a man,” Giles argued.

“Don’t you think I know that Giles? Jeez I’m not blind you know. My heart doesn’t shade my eyes from the truth. I’m not saying we have to accept him back with open arms. I’m just saying let’s use him as an alternate source. He is there to help us and will help me,” Buffy said turning away from Giles and putting a hand to her forehead.

“Buffy? He tortured me. Literally and physically tortured me. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Giles questioned her, his voice hard and cold.

Buffy turned around, about to respond when then library door swung open.

“Hidey ho campers. How is everyone this fine afternoon?” Xander asked as he shuffled into the room. He sat down at their usual table and put his leg on the polished wood. He glanced up at Buffy and Giles and frowned.

“Uh oh what did I have the pleasure of walking in on?”

“I know what he did to you Giles. God had it not been for Spike I don’t think I would have been able to get you out of there.”

“Spike? What about me? I was all with the ‘Save Giles’ routine,” Xander huffed.

Buffy turned to him. “Had Spike not been there to distract Angel you would not have been able to sneak in and get Giles.”

“All hail the bleached wonder,” Xander said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“When did this turn into a Spike thing? I thought we were talking about Angel. Besides Spike is gone.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that love.”

All three heads spun around to see Spike saunter in. He leant against the nearest wall and regarded them, one eyebrow raised, a slight smirk on his face. He crossed his leather-clad arms over his chest and locked eyes with the slayer.

“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed a surprised look on her face.

“Spike!” The other two said equally surprised expressions upon their faces.

“That is my name. An awfully sexy one if you ask me,” he drawled, his British accent thick and the tones of his voice deep.

Buffy blushed as Spike’s cerulean blue eyes began to rake across her form. From the tipy top of her head to the bottom of her toes, he looked her up and down. Finally his eyes settled on hers and Buffy felt a flame of heat soar up through her body.

“What the hell are you doing back? I thought I told you Sunnydale is off limits to you,” Buffy huffed, her hands on her hips as she stalked over to Spike.

“Angry looks good on you,” He said as he circled her. He got to her back and stopped, he leant in close and whispered in her ear. “But I would look better.”

Buffy gasped and shivered as his cool breath blew across her sensitive skin.

“In your dreams vampire,” Buffy said once she regained control over herself.

“Every night.”

Buffy locked eyes with him as he circled in front of her. She couldn’t deny it; as much as she hated him she wanted him as well. Her body responded to his in a way that she had never experienced before. She opened her mouth to make one of her trademark, smartass comments but closed it quickly as Angel walked in.

“Spike!” he growled menacingly.

“Ahh Angelus. How are we today? All soul-ed up or still being a bastard and torturing the slayer and her lot?”

Spike smirked at Angel and took a drag off his cigarette. Angel was incredulous as Spike blew smoke rings at him.

“Why are you here?” Angel asked his hands balled into tight fists at his sides.

“It’s a bloody fantastic story really. Sexy British vampire helps slayer, slayer kills good vampire gone bad, Sexy British vamp is deemed champion and gets the return of his soul.”

“You have your soul?” Xander who had been quiet the entire time questioned as he got up from the table.

“Would seem so my friendly little whelp. The big bad is now as soul-full as the great poof.”

“Fascinating,” Giles said as he pulled his glasses off his face and started to polish them.

“Fascinating? What’s soo damn fascinating about it?” Buffy asked, her face in shock.

“Hey I had mine first. Before it was the cool new thing,” Angel grumbled, not really talking to anyone.

Buffy rolled her eyes at Angel and turned back to Spike.

“How? What? How?” Xander asked standing up.

“I don’t really know. After I left here the powers that be stepped in and took me to another dimension. They told me I had to stand a bevy of trials and if I passed I would be rewarded. I wasn’t told until I was done that I was to receive my soul,” Spike shrugged.

“But why you? What did you do that’s soo wonderful?”

“I helped you that’s what. I helped you defeat Angelus and stop the ending of the world.”

“You didn’t help much. It’s not like you had to kill Drusilla in order to save the world.”

“No…but if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have been able to win,” Spike said matter-of-factly.

While the argued they unconsciously moved closer together until they were practically on top of each other.

“Oh please like you’re God’s gift.”

“What can I say? When you’ve got it you’ve got it.”

“You are such an arrogant ass!” Buffy yelled.

“You love it!” Spike yelled back.

They reached for each other at the same time, their bodies coming against each other’s, their mouths meeting in a fiery kiss.

Angel, Xander and Giles had their jaws on the floor as they looked on.

“SPIKE!” Angel growled trying to remind his Childe who the leader was here.

Buffy broke the kiss and stepped back, her hand upon her mouth.

“You jerk!” She yelled as she swung her small fist towards him. Spike caught it easily and laughed.

“It’s a bloody shame we had to stop. I can tell how you want me even as you stand here denying it,” Spike said letting go of her hand and sniffing the air.

“You’re a pig Spike.”

“Alright that’s enough,” Giles said walking up to them. Buffy and Spike turned to Giles, murder written in their eyes.

“Well…er…Spike. You have a soul now. Does that mean you went through the same things Angel went through? Do you feel remorse for what you did? Did you suffer? Did you go insane?” Giles asked as he opened the little book he had hidden in his pocket, no doubt archiving it for the Watcher’s Diaries.

“Not to the degree that the ponce did, the insanity anyway. They told me I had always retained some of my humanity. I was not a total monster like Angelus. That’s another reason I had my soul returned. I was a champion. Your champion,” he said turning to Buffy.

“Shall I get on my knees now and thank you?”

Spike lifted his scarred eyebrow and smirked. The other three men gawked, Giles visibly shaken by the images her outburst induced.

“Um…er. Not that way you sickos,” Buffy stammered, turning red when she realized what she had said.

“Yeah you helped me. Big freaking deal. Can we just get over it now?”

“What’s done is done. I don’t see how you deserved a soul but whatever, it’s over now,” Angel grumbled, highly pissed that he wasn’t the only soul-ed vampire anymore.

“There’s a difference between you and me…Sire. I earned my soul, you were cursed with yours,” Spike pointed out.

“This is most incredible. Spike would you mind answering some questions for me?” Giles asked him.

“Answer some questions? Has everyone lost their mind? This is Spike we are talking about. Evil monster Spike. Who cares if he has his soul, it doesn’t matter now.”

“Buffy this is rather extraordinary. Spike earned his soul and the powers that be wanted to give it to him. It did not change him like it did Angel. I want to do more research on this,” Giles said cleaning his glasses again before putting them back on the bridge of his nose.

Xander who had been pretty quiet the entire time was looking at Spike as if seeing him for the first time. Angel noticed and felt a stab of jealousy flow through the knife he could feel in his back. Not that he wanted Xander to like him or that he was jealous of Spike’s soul. He had fought so hard to get Buffy and the others to trust him and as soon as he is in good he loses his soul. What kind of freaking karma was that?

Angel shook his head and glanced in Buffy’s direction. She was watching Spike with a mixture of anger and something else that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

And what the hell was up with that kiss? Angel thought as he watched Buffy start to blush. He swung his eyes over to watch Spike when he realized they were staring at each other again.

“That’s it! I’ve got to get out of here!” Angel yelled as he stormed out of the book-lined room.

The four remaining people looked at the swinging door and then at each other. Shrugging their shoulders they turned back to one another.

“Spike? Let’s talk in my office.” Giles gestured towards the door. Spike nodded his head and followed the taller man.

He turned back once and gave Buffy a smoldering look. Had she been a candle she would have burned into a puddle of hot wax.

Ahh the possibilities, Spike thought as Giles closed the door behind him.

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