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05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
12/23/16 01:12 pm
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10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
08/31/16 03:43 pm
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For the record, the first time I met my first real crush he asked me this question, my answer wasn't the same as Buffy's and I've always wondered, what if...

You always remember your first love, the first time you saw them, spoke to them. At least it was that way for me.

I was sitting at the lunch table attempting to ignore the conversation around me; I wasn't interested in the stupid discussion about the sexual preferences of our teachers, but this guy with bleached blonde spiky hair and a leather jacket was involved and I was quietly checking him out.

Then he spoke to me, a smirk on his face "So luv, what about you, do you spit or swallow?"

What! Of all the nerve! I nearly spat out my cola, I couldn't believe he'd asked that question, still a small part of me decided it wanted to play this game with this cute guy. I stood, grabbed my books, and threw him a smirk of my own, "wouldn't you like to know!" I then sauntered away wondering if he was going to follow, or just shrug it off and go back to his conversation.

I had almost made it outside before I felt a hand on my arm I turned and stumbled, so clumsy of me, right into his arms, maybe I could live with being clumsy especially when I fall into arms that feel this strong.

"Hey" he said as he caught me "You alright?"

"Sure" I replied, regaining my feet and almost losing it again when I looked up and got lost in his bright eyes, it's like drowning, I thought.

"I'm sorry pet, I don't know you well enough to ask that question" He almost looked contrite. Well, except for the semi permanent smirk "I'd like to though!"

"You'd like to what?" I asked flirting with him, "Get to know me, or get to know me well enough to get the answer to the question?"

He grinned, "Both! You coming to the Bronze tonight?"

What the fuck was the bronze? Like hell was I going to admit I had no idea what he was talking about though, there was no way I was going to look dumb. So I did what any sensible young woman would do, I jumped in feet first. "Sure, I might be able to make it"

"Great then," he said, his English accent causing goose bumps to run up my arms. He took my hand and raised it to his lips, looking at me the whole time; he kissed the back of my hand before saying, "I look forward to seeing you there."

I was glad he left before I actually melted into a puddle of goo at his feet, he was so cocky, with the smirk and the being all sexy…falling at his feet was not what I wanted to do! I hurried to find Willow, the only person I had properly met so far, to get her to tell me about the Bronze and hope it wasn’t a really rough biker bar or something!


"Spike Giles asked you to meet him at the Bronze tonight?" Willow squealed excitedly, "That's great, Oz's band is playing there tonight, I was going to invite you anyway!"

"Well, he didn't really ask me" I replied, "he just kinda implied that he'd like me to be there but you know boys, it only takes the slightest thing to bruise their ego!" I was very excited and worried, apparently Spike was a player, but hey, it's just a bit of fun right?

It was at that moment that Xander wandered up, Xander was lovely, if a little geeky but he had a completely different reaction to my news than Willow, "No way, nah-uh, you cannot consider meeting with that jerk! He will play with your heart, before smashing it! Smashing it I say! It’s just what he does and you’ll be a shell of a woman by the time he’s finished with you!"

He was being just a little melodramatic to my mind, I wasn't looking to marry the guy, just meet him and do a little dancing and I said as much to Xander.

Willow backed me up, "Xander shut up, she can meet him there if she wants to and we're both going to be with her! She'll be fine"

"Okay, okay, but when he breaks her heart, I get to be the first one to say; I told you so!"

"Now that we've finished with that, let's move on to more important issues" I said, looking at Willow with an admittedly calculating look on my face.

"What's that?" Willow questioned, looking quite nervous.

"Well, you and I need to find something to wear, and I haven't finished unpacking all my shoes yet! It’ll take me half the night to find my black choo’s"

“Choo’s?” Xander echoed as he followed behind us, “I thought they where shoes?”

“They are!” Willow called over her shoulder as we headed to class, making plans all the way.


Willow and I spent hours getting ready, leaving Xander to watch cable in the living room, but even he was bored by the time we finally came down the stairs.

“Thank God,” he said fervently to us as we made our way down the stairs “I was starting to think that there might be something to that square eyes rumor!” Watching me and Willow come towards him though, he smiled “But I have to say it was worth the wait! You both look… WOW!”

We both laughed, I had talked Willow into one of my leather skirts and a strapless top, if Oz didn’t want her in this outfit, well, he wouldn’t be a normal red blooded male! I was also looking good, also in leather, but trousers, with a barely there top, which in all honestly wouldn’t have passed as a handkerchief, but it covered all the necessary bits. My blonde hair was up, with just a little hanging down and the makeup was light, no sense sweating it off and having it run.

Whilst Xander was driving to the club, something he insisted on having full concentration for, I had a quiet conversation with Willow in the back, I really didn’t want Xander’s input on this, he had already told me what he thought earlier.

“So” I whispered in Willow’s ear, “Xander tells me Spike’s gonna break my heart and in history I found out that he’s a bit of a player… What do you know?”

Willow shifted so that she could see me and whispered back, “it’s just that he’s run through most of the popular girls in the year that he’s been here. Guy does a thing like that, he gets a reputation. He’s smart though, despite the whole rebel without a cause look he’s got going on.”

I had to admit “He does look a little bit like an eighties reject, but honestly on him, it’s so hot. God!”

“Yes, he’s yummy,” Willow answered starting to get dreamy, “but not as yummy as Oz.”

We got to the club and gave our cover to the man on the door and Xander disappeared to get us some drinks. Willow found us a free table, we had gotten there just in time and Willow excitedly pointed out Oz to me as the band started their set, he looked cute, if a little short. I had to ask, “So why haven’t you jumped this guy yet?”

She started to blush and stammered, “I’m just not very good with the…um…jumping”

“Rubbish, every girl is born with the knowledge necessary to drive men crazy and you are looking hot tonight. You have to talk to him when he’s finished his set”

“Talk to who?” Xander asked, putting down three drinks and taking a seat.

“Oz, Willow needs to jump him!” I replied, making Willow squirm and turn redder.

Xander agreed with me and talk turned to tactics as I began to scan the room for Spike. It took a while and I was starting to get seriously pissed, I had made a big effort and if he wasn’t here to appreciate it, well I wouldn’t be happy, but then I saw him dancing with a pretty brunette, my heart sank and my face fell.

“What’s wrong?” asked Willow, she had her back to the dance floor, but Xander could see clearly and stated, “Spike and he’s dancing with Cordelia, I hope she’s making him miserable.”

“Lets go dance” I said, pulling Willow up with me and dragging her to a spot where we could be clearly seen by the dancing couple.

It didn’t even take one song, our eyes met across the throng of dancers and Spike, after whispering in the brunette’s ear wandered over to me, the girl didn’t look very happy and gave me an icy look. I couldn’t care less and turned to Spike, I leaned in, close to his ear and said “What did you say to her? If looks could kill, right now, I would be on the floor!”

“Well luv, I just told her that you where new here and that I wanted to get to know you” He said with a leer.

I flushed remembering our earlier conversation, “How long do you think that will take?” I asked him.

“As long as it takes, I can wait, as long as it’s good!” Oh God that leer was back on his face and take pity on me, I thought it was sexy. No wonder this guy goes through girls, who could say no?

“Dance with me” he rasped grasping me by the hips and pulling me close, a slow song had started and I just went with it, body swaying in time with his. Looking into his eyes, I felt an urge to lean up and press my lips against his. To stop myself from kissing the guy I had known less than a day, I leaned forward and laid my head against his shoulder, one of his arms went around my waist and he dropped his head to mine. I was enjoying the close feeling so much that I didn’t notice when the music changed, Spike pulled away a little, looking at me his eyes where so expressive I felt special in that moment being held by him. Looking back, that’s probably when I fell in love with him, that dance and that look.


It was getting late, I couldn’t find Xander and Willow was finally talking to Oz and given the look on Oz’s face, he had noticed her, I couldn’t pull her away from that, it just wasn’t done. I turned to Spike a hopefully appealing look on my face, “I know I’m pushing it a bit here, but I’ve lost my ride. Any hope you could take me home?”

“I haven’t got my car with me tonight,” he replied and my heart sank, it was a school night and if I didn’t get home soon my mum would kill me, “But..” he continued, “I’ll walk you home, where do you live?”

“1630 Revello Drive” I smiled and thanked him.

“Don’t worry pet, it’s only a couple of blocks away from mine.”

We left the club and started to walk the couple of miles back to my house, it shouldn’t take to long and hopefully I wouldn’t be late, but five minutes into the walk I had to stop and I sat down on the curb unzipping my boots.

“Are you completely daft?” Spike exclaimed watching me wriggling to get my boots off, “What the bloody hell are you doing?”

I looked up at him and sighed “What does it look like? I’m taking my boots off; there is no way that my feet will survive the walk back.”

“If you can’t walk in them, why did you buy them?” He asked the question only a male would ask as I stood feet bare and boots in one had.

Looking at him I batted my eyelashes, “But they look so good on” I said in a seductive voice. Then more seriously, “If I’d have known I’d be walking home I wouldn’t have worn them; they can only manage a few hours on my feet at a time.”

Spike laughed and took my hand as we walked the rest of the way to my house.

Once we got there, I had that urge to kiss him again, I liked him, but honestly I wasn’t prepared to become another one of his conquests so I briefly pecked him on the cheek and thanked him for walking me home before slipping inside quietly and making my way to my room, I couldn’t stop smiling, moving to Sunnydale clearly wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

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