Drusilla stared at him, her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Angel?" she whispered, blinking twice in rapid succession as she stared at him.
"Who else would I be?" he queried with dark sarcasm, rolling his eyes slightly.
"I . . . I thought you weren't you," she murmured, her confusion changing to an expression of suspicion.
Angel bit the inside of his lip as he tried desperately to remain standing, feeling another wave of dizziness, hunger, and pain come over him. "Yeah, well, not totally," he said with a half nod of his head. "Let's just say Hell doesn't agree with the conscience," he added, smirking. "I'm in control. Permanently." He waited for a moment, seeing confusion once again replace Drusilla's expression of suspicion, then asked again, "Where's Spike?"
Drusilla purred slightly as she moved forward, towards the door which Buffy was behind. "He betrayed me," she whispered softly.
Angel's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Oh . . . you finally ditched the jerk, eh?" He shrugged. "'Bout time."
"I have a surprise for you," Drusilla said quietly. "A big surprise!"
"Really?" Angel murmured back in reply, reaching one hand out to gently touch Drusilla's face. "What surprise would that be?"
"The Slayer," Drusilla replied happily. "She's in there, all tied up. Like a present." Drusilla turned and pointed towards the door behind them both. "I took her . . . after what she did, she had to pay. She hurt you, she made Spike betray us both. She twisted his mind with lies."
"Believe me, I know," Angel answered darkly. "How'd you manage to get her?" he added, doing his best to sound slightly disinterested.
"She was weak!" Drusilla exclaimed. "Weak, hurt, and all alone. A lost little lamb, unprepared for the wolf's attack."
"And you took advantage," Angel supplied. "I'm impressed."
Drusilla grinned, pleased by the praise, and forgetting all of her suspicions. "I was going to go play," she murmured, "Wanna come?"
"Anytime, baby," Angel answered, taking the hand she held out and following her into the backroom where the Slayer was held captive.
Buffy whimpered and turned her head, trying desperately to escape the images that were flashing through her mind. She could see Drusilla holding out her hand; she could feel each step as if they were her own; and she could see herself, chained to the wall, dried blood staining her shirt, fear far too evident in her eyes. She turned her head once more, trying to get back into her own mind, but the transition wouldn't come. She couldn't seem to return, and she felt herself stumble slightly as she walked. "Hell's a bitch," she heard herself say as an excuse . . . but it wasn't herself . . . it was Angel . . . She whimpered once more, terrified, and not understanding anything that was going on.
"I can't understand," she heard another voice say . . . and she could see Drusilla, but it wasn't from the perspective she was in, it was as if she was standing next to the insane vampire. "The pain won't touch her . . . she should be hurting. I made her bleed." Drusilla's voice sounded confused and uncertain.
"Damn Slayer strength," Angel's voice answered. "Always so hard to break . . . but that's half the fun."
God . . . it wasn't Angel. Buffy whimpered once more, her own voice, and suddenly she was herself again, in her own body, seeing through her own eyes. And the look upon Angel's face . . . it wasn't Angel . . . it was Angelus . . . but she'd just been there, in his mind, and it hadn't been Angelus at all. Buffy turned her head away, feeling tears of hysteria begin to form. This was too much, too overwhelming, too painful, she just couldn't figure anything out anymore. Maybe this was what Drusilla felt like everyday, Buffy thought randomly. But . . . if she knew she was going insane, was she really going insane? Buffy took a few deep breaths, trying to get herself to think straight, trying to get her mind to work properly. Okay . . . she was here, she was chained to a wall, over there was Angel and Dru . . . okay. So there was that. That was clear. Now she had to try and figure out if it was really Angel, or not.
Taking another deep breath, Buffy thought quietly, bringing up every mental shield she'd ever had, using every ounce of mental training Giles had tried to teach her as she fought desperately to isolate herself from the images and flashes. Finally they seemed to disappear, and for the first time in awhile she felt alone. Another deep breath, and she attempted to work everything out logically. Somehow she and Angel were connected . . . that was the cause of the images that had been tormenting her night and day since she'd left Sunnydale for the second time. That was better. There was the explanation she'd been searching for. She didn't know HOW it happened, but at least she now had some sort of reason for it. She wasn't going insane. A wave of relief washed over her, and she closed her eyes and wondered if she could use the connection to her own advantage.
Buffy finally decided it was worth a try. She lowered the shields of her mind and tried to remember what Giles had told her about mental powers. He'd told her she needed to hone to sense other vampires . . . but that didn't exactly help her in this situation. He'd told her she'd never know with whom or what she'd be fighting . . . well, that was true, she'd never expected to have to fight against her own mind; but again that didn't help her. She thought back to every lesson, every hint, every word Giles had ever said to her involving her own powers . . . but nothing came to mind as something she could use in this particular situation. With one more deep breath, she realized she was entirely on her own. She'd have to try and do this herself, with no training, no clue what she was doing.
Swallowing tightly, she tried to latch onto her mind, somehow, tried to tether herself into her own body as she mentally reached out to Angel, who was across the room and talking to Drusilla quietly while leaning against the wall. To her absolute amazement, it was working. Again she could see through his eyes, again she was inside his mind, but this time she knew she'd be able to get back to her own body if she needed to. Yet another deep breath, and then she began to explore her mental surroundings, trying not to be obtrusive or obvious, just in case it really was Angelus she was dealing with and not Angel. Almost immediately, however, she threw out that idea. It was Angel. Very obviously. And he was very, very weak . . . and getting weaker by the minute.
She felt herself begin to panic, her mind desperately wanting to return to where it belonged; but she tried to ignore it, instead continuing her exploration. She found the answer she was searching for, how the connection . . . no, the bond was formed between them . . . to track her down. A request, from Giles, and the Watcher was waiting outside. She knew Angel could sense her there with him, but he made no attempt to communicate with her, and she didn't try to speak with him either. She wasn't ready for that. She was just beginning to understand what was going on. And she knew they didn't have a whole lot of time before Angel collapsed completely. There was the answer to why she didn't feel any pain . . . he'd been protecting her. And she decided it was about time she began to return the favor. A plan began to form in her mind, and despite the mental intrusion it would bring to Angel, and despite the fact that he'd be extremely angry at her, she knew it was the only plan that had a prayer of working. Now she just had to see if she could control him.
Cordelia knocked on Xander's door before walking in, and she was unsurprised to note that he was wide awake. "Cordy, we need to talk," Xander said flatly as soon as she closed the door behind her.
"Yeah," she agreed, sitting down next to his bed. "I just wanted to tell you, about what I said before, I've been really stressed lately, I haven't been myself, and . . . you know, that's why I said that. So you can just totally ignore it, okay? Now I'm going to go." She started to stand, but Xander's voice stopped her.
"So you're saying you didn't mean it?" he asked, immediately putting her on the spot.
She winced and turned back to face him. "Mean what, Xander?" she retorted. "Did I mean what I said when I said I was glad you were okay? Of course."
"Cordelia . . . you know what I meant," he replied, using her full name for impact. "Did you mean it, or not?"
"Xander, look, we really don't need to get into this right now, okay? We just don't. So let's just drop it."
"No," Xander answered immediately. "I want to know, did you mean it or not? Just answer the question, Cordy, it's not that hard."
"Yes!" she shouted back at him, angrily. "Yes, I meant it, you happy now? Me, Cordelia Chase, sudden social leper, am in love with you. Congratulations, now you can hold this over my head for lifetimes to come. You should be ecstatic."
"Why do you assume I don't feel the same way?" Xander queried, puzzled.
"Oh, please, Xander. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you still want Buffy. It's obvious everytime you look or even talk about her, and if you weren't still hung up on her you would've told her about the curse. Not that I don't enjoy our closet time, but I'm tired of it. Sorry to do this to you now, Xander, when you're all weak and what not, but just chalk it up to my Queen Bitch reputation. I can't deal with this anymore, Xander. I just can't do it. You almost died! Willow almost died! Angel got sent to Hell, now he's a total basket case, Buffy's left town TWICE . . . I'm just not up to dealing with your using me as a Buffy-substitute. I'm not. I never will be, I never can be. I'm not the Slayer, I'm not brave like she is, I'm a coward, that's pretty much official. So don't try and TELL me . . . "
"Cordy, shut up," Xander said flatly, interrupting her furious babbling. She blinked
twice, opened her mouth, then shut it again, instead crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at him. "I'm not in love with Buffy. I never was. And I'm not using you to replace her. I'm not. Cordy, you have to believe me, I'm not."
"Then where does that leave us, Xander?" she replied, looking up towards the ceiling then back down to stare at him. "What are we supposed to do if things somehow miraculously go back to normal? More broom closet encounters, more make-out sessions in my car? Yeah, that's really what I'm looking for in a relationship."
"How was I supposed to know you wanted more?" Xander retorted. "You certainly never gave me any reason to believe you did."
"What, you do?" she replied furiously. "Yeah, right, Xander. Whatever. You who were so ashamed of me . . . "
"Like you weren't!" he shouted back, sitting up then groaning and laying back down when he felt the pain in his chest. "You were the one who broke up with me because your friends told you to!"
"Oh, throw that back in my face Mr. I'll Just Cast A Spell To Make Her Love Me! I already did! Even then, I did!" She paused for a moment, and took a deep breath to calm herself down.
"Well, here's a big shocker, I love you, too!"
Cordelia's eyes widened and she blinked, her mouth dropping open. "What?" she whispered softly. "You . . . you what?"
Xander's own eyes widened in surprise. "It - it just came out," he said softly, looking as shocked as she did. "I love you, too," he said again, as if trying to get used to the words. He stared at her, and was even more shocked to see that she'd begun to cry. "Cordy . . . " he breathed.
"God, Xander I . . . " She stopped and swallowed tightly, fighting not to give in to the tears. She couldn't control them, however, and she furiously wiped at her eyes. "I didn't . . . " Silently she sat back down, and took his hand in hers. Neither one of them said a word, and Xander slowly began to fall asleep, Cordelia remaining by his side.
Angel, she thought softly, trying to project the word into his mind. Is this working, or not, or what?
A moment's pause, and then, to her complete amazement, there was a reply. What are you planning, Buffy? he asked her, and his thought and voice seemed to echo in her own mind.
Shivering slightly, startled by the utter alien feeling their communication was causing, she answered him. You're not going to like it, she confessed. But it's the only thing I can think of, so please, just hear me out. She knew she had to make this fast; she could feel her mind's own somewhat overpowering fear of the mental invasion she was inviting. Tell Drusilla you'll do it, torture me, whatever. Then come over here, and . . . this is the part you're not going to like, so brace yourself, let me take control.
Angel's eyes widened, and he missed a beat in his conversation with Drusilla. He quickly covered, and noted the insane vamipre's growing suspicion. Why? he asked in return, feeling a growing suspicion of his own towards the Slayer's intentions.
Angel, please . . . I know why you wouldn't trust me, God knows I don't deserve it after what I did to you, but it's the only thing I can think of! And you can't do it yourself, I know you'll lose control, you're way too weak from protecting me. Please, Angel.
What do you mean I'd lose control, Buffy? he retorted. What are you planning?
We can't keep this up, Angel! she practically shouted mentally, and it was an extreme effort of will for her not to say those words aloud. I've been in your head, I get this whole bond thing now, and the longer we stay in touch the harder it'll be to break it. It's now or never, will you let me do this, or not?
Angel closed his eyes for a moment, trying to extend his own mental senses to get some idea of her plan. But the hunger, combined with plain exhaustion and the pain Buffy should have been feeling made it completely impossible. He nodded slightly, causing Drusilla to be puzzled, then answered mentally, Fine. He felt Buffy's relief through the bond between them, and hoped he was wrong as he turned his total attention towards Drusilla once again.
"Well, I think we've talked long enough," Drusilla murmured, smiling slightly with widening eyes as she took a step towards Buffy. "I'm going to go have some more fun. Care to join me?"
"No," Angel answered immediately, taking a step forward as well to catch up with her. "Let me do it."
Drusilla's eyes widened even further as she turned towards him. "You?" she said, her smile growing. "You want to hurt her?"
"Bitch sent me to Hell, doesn't exactly promote togetherness," Angel retorted in his best Angelus impression. "Let me do it."
"Take her," Drusilla answered, gesturing towards the Slayer grandly as she took a step backwards to give him more room. Angel smiled a thanks towards her, then walked up to Buffy's position on the wall. Gently, without Drusilla seeing, he touched her face, and their eyes locked together. He nodded imperceptably, and ignoring the nervousness he felt, opened his mind to hers. For a moment nothing happened, and Buffy began to wonder if her plan was even possible. Then with a deep breath, she once again left her own mind and joined Angel's. He opened up himself to her and relinquished control completely, until his body and her mind became one.