Rating:PG
Content:Just a conversation
Summary:Buffy on the bus leaving town
Disclaimer:I own nothing of BtVS. It all belings to Joss Whedon, other compaines and some corporate big-wigs.
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Buffy Summers sat on the bus sleeping. She didn't like sleeping, because with it came nightmares. Nightmares of what she had done to him. Of what her mother had told her. In her sleep she relived each terrible moment throughout her young life. It always happened. She slept and something came to her. A bad memory. That's why she hated sleep.
Two hours late she awoke and found someone sitting next to her. It was woman in her late twenties, early thirties. Buffy recognized her immediately. The dark hair, the small figure. It was a very familiar face.
"What do you want?" she asked coolly.
"To talk to you. You need to go back. They aren't doing well without you," the woman replied.
"How did you get here anyway? He killed you," Buffy said questioningly.
"When a daughter of the clan does not succeed in her duty, when she dies, she is to wander alone. Angel lost his soul. I failed in my duty to my peopl," Ms. Calendar replied solemnly.
"I'm sorry. But I can't be around you. Every time I am. Around you or when I was around him, I feel like some one stuck a knife in my heart and is constantly turning it. And each time one of you says something, the knife goes deeper;" Buffy was crying now.
"I know. And I'm sorry for that. The last thing I wanted was to hurt any of you. I know that how no matter how much I apologize to you, it won't make up for it."
"We've all forgiven you. It's just hard to be around you. For all of us. Thank you thoug." It was hard for Buffy to get those word out.
"For what?" Ms.Calendar was flabbergasted at this.
"For finding the spell. It worked you know. He got his soul back before..." Buffy trailed off.
"I know. I watch you guys. I have since the night I died. I watched you and Willow when you fond out about what happened. I watched Rupert try to contact my spirit. That was something."
"Your death really affected him. He never said it to you, but he loved you. He still does. He just wanted some way to see you again," Buffy told her.
"I love him too. God, I miss him."
"It must have been terrible for him to watch you flirt with Xander on Valentine's Day," Buffy mused. "Do you ever wonder why life is so cruel sometimes?"
"No. It's cruel, yes. But look at some of the good times. I cherish every moment I had with Rupert. I have them to keep too. In here," she said pointing to her heart. "And I'm sure that you hold each memory of you and Angel very dear."
"Not some," Buffy replied.
"That wasn't Angel. That was Angelus. And it would be terrible to have those moments locked away inside."
"It is. But do you cherish every minute with Giles? We were so mean to you in the end."
"But I had him to see. He was there. And it made me love him even more, because he was so loyal to you."
"He is loyal."
"You should go back to them, Buffy."
"I told you, I can't. If I go back I'll be reminded of what I did to Angel, each time I go somewhere. The cemetery, the Bronze. Even in my own room. And then I'll have to deal with my mom. She doesn't want me there any more."
"Yes she does. She loves you very much. She was just confused that night. As for the memories of Angel, I can't help. But I do know that you cannot run away from your problems. They will come back to you. They'll haunt you. If I had been up-front with you all, Angel would not have lost his soul. But I felt I had to run from the problem. The problem of the fact I was of the Callderash people. And that Angel and you weren't supposed to be together. I ran, or hid, whichever you prefer, from that. And look where I ended up. I'm here as a spirit. I will now live alone. If I hadn't run, I would still be with you all. I would have had to be alone when I died any way, but I would have had more time with friends. With Rupert," Ms. Calendar was crying now.
"I'm sorry. I should have been able to control my self."
"It wasn't you. I believe that you and Angel did what two people in love do. Now if I had told you what I was then he wouldn't have left you. I hated seeing you in all that pain after he left. That night we found out. Watching you in the library, twisting your ring around your finger. Like your doing now. It's the knife. We both have those knives in our hearts, but we have to deal with them. Like I said, they all need you. And maybe someday your wish will come true," Jenny's words echoed in Buffy's mind as the teacher disappeared.
Buffy awoke after that and got off of the bus. She proceeded to get another bus going back to Sunnydale. Back home. When she got there she was treated carefully. No one brought Angel's name up. Her mother welcomed her with open arms. When asked by Willow what made her come back, she simply replied, "An old friend".
~End~