SUMMARY: It's girls' night out. But this time the girls are Xander, Giles and Angel...in drag.
RATED: PG-13 (for drag queen-ness and mild name calling centered around loose women)
DISCLAIMER: Joss, the WB, and Fox own the characters; I just own their alternate lifestyles...run, run screaming into the hills..yes you! you with the boyscout shorts and hooker heels!...if the thought of drag queens frighten you!
THIS IS A PARODY! It's out of character! The plot is SILLY (when there is a plot at all!) DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
*****
Giles knocked on Xander's door. After a short wait, it finally opened.
"You look magnificent!" Giles said to Xander.
"Yeah..thanks Gilesman. You look pretty fly yourself."
Giles blushed and put his hand to his face. "Oh stop!"
Xander whipped out a tube of lipstick from his purse. "Do you like my new lipstick color? It's called 'Tease'."
Giles playfully punched Xander's arm. "Oh you! You know that's what you are!" He giggled. "But that color doesn't look too good on you...I think you should give it to me."
Xander hugged the lipstick close to him. "No way! You're just trying to steal my stuff like always! Remember that Wonderbra I had? The black one with the pretty rose petal in the front? You *never* gave that back to me!"
"Well, it looked better on *me* anyhow!" Giles put his hand on his hips.
"My, my...doesn't someone look like the little skank in that tiny skirt!" Xander bashed back. Giles tugged on the spandex, but it would not go farther than his upper thigh.
He gave up and blew a lock of hair out of his eyes. "Like you should talk!" he bantered, "those thigh high boots make you look like a two-dollar hooker!"
Xander stuck his tongue out at him. "Well, that just goes to show you...they're not even mine! I borrowed them from Buffy. So who you calling a two dollar hooker now?!"
Giles rolled his eyes, the dark black liner making his blue eyes even bluer. Xander secretly envied those eyes. He had such long, thick lashes too. It wasn't fair! No matter how hard he tried, how much money he spent on eyeliner and mascara, he just wouldn't get the drop-dead gorgeous eyes Giles naturally had. Xander ended his mental jealousy by makng sure his boots were zipped up nicely. Giles might have nice eyes, but no one could hold a candle to Xander's legs. He smiled smugly to himself. Giles could *live* on the stairmaster and still look like a chicken.
"Come on," Giles broke his revelry. "And don't forget your purse this time!"
Xander shrugged. "Just because I forgot it once or eight times doesn't mean I *always* do it!" whined, and strutted out the door, leopard-print purse forgotten on the hall table.
Giles cleared his throat. "Forget something, Xander?" he mocked.
Xander stopped and looked around his person in perplexion. He thought he had everything..."Oh my god!" Xander screeched. Giles was about to tell him that the purse was on the hall table when Xander rushed back into the house, calling behind him "My underwear!!"
*****
continues with Part Two!!! : Girls Just Wanna Have Fun