Btvs unaired pilot transcript



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The scene starts late at night in a biology classroom. The camera pans to show a window that is suddenly shattered by a boy who punches his fist through it from the outside. He then unlocks it and opens the window.

Darla: "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Boy: "It's a great idea."

The boy crawls through the window, he then turns around to help the girl get in. Darla looks around the classroom.

Darla: "So you go to school here?"

Boy: "I used to."

Darla: "Nice."

Boy: "Gets better. Come on."

The two the walk into the theater room, surrounded by props and other stage items. Darla opens one of the stage doors to walk onto the main stage area and gazes out.

Darla: "Wow."

Darla is then startled when the boy pushes a button that opens the hidden hatch on the stage right next to her.

Boy: "Pretty cool huh?"

Darla: "I could have fallen!"

The boy then wraps his arm around her.

Boy: "I would have caught you."

The two then begin to kiss but stops when Darla quickly jerks her head.

Darla: "What was that?"

Boy: "What was what?"

Darla: "I heard a noise."

Boy: "It's nothing."

Darla: "Maybe it's something."

Boy: "Maybe it's some THING."

Darla: "That's not funny."

Boy: "HELLOOOOOO! There's nobody here."

Darla: "Are you sure?"

Boy: "I'm sure."

Darla: "Okay."

Darla then turns around to show her true vamp appearance to the frightened boy. Then quickly bites him.

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The Next morning the scene starts out by showing the front of the school and all the students walking in to start class. The camera then pans to show Buffy chewing her gum and blowing a huge bubble and then smacking it again. She then reaches into her purse to retrieve her schedule as she walks into the school. The next scene shows her talking to the principle.

Principle: "I don't think you'll have any problem adjusting bunny."

Buffy: "Buffy" she corrects him.

Principle: "Just remember our personal rules, no gang colors, no fur, no hanging from the raptors in the cafeteria screaming meat is murder on sloppy Joe day. That became very popular last month, had to put my foot down."

Buffy: "Principle Flutie…"

Principle: "Betty?"

Buffy: "I just want you to…. Buffy." She corrects him again. "To know that I am not here to cause trouble. There's not going to be any incidents like at my old school."

Principle: "Well I certainly hope not."

Buffy: "No, I'm here to have fun. But I mean learning, fun with learning."

Principle: "Don't worry, I think you'll fit in just fine."

The scene then changes to show willow sitting on a bench outside the school. Xander then comes running up to her carrying a skateboard in one hand and a book bag on his back.

Xander: "Willow!" sigh "You are so the very much the person I want to see."

Willow: "Oh really?"

Xander: "Yeah, you know I kinda had a problem with the math."

Willow: "Which part?"

Xander: "The math. Can you come after third period and please be my study buddy."

Willow: "Well, what's in it for me?"

Xander: "A shiny nickel." He says with enthusiasm.

Willow: "Okay." She smiles. "But you shouldn't be having a problem with it Xander. Mr. Worth says you never pay attention."

Xander: "I pay attention, just not to him."

Willow then walks away crossing Cordelia and two of her snotty friends path.

Cordelia: "Willow, nice dress." As she walks away Cordy calls out, "Good to see you've seen the softer side of sears."

Cordelia's friends giggle at the comment as a boy from school walks of to them.

Boy: "Hey Cordelia, going to the bronze tonight?

Cordelia: "Not with you."

The girls then walk away.

Harmony: "But we're still going right?"

Other girl: "Who's playing?"

Harmony: "Dingoes ate my baby, they rock."

A boy wearing a plaid shirt walk passed them.

Cordelia: "Grunge, wow what a new look!" she then turns to face the two girls "I know flannels over but I can never tell what's coming next!" she smiles.

Xander comes up from behind Cordelia and harmony and interrupts.

Xander: "I don't know about you but I am scared." He says sarcastically.

Cordelia: "Excuse me but was I talking to you! Has any girl ever spoken to you of her own free will? I don't think so."

Xander: "You know I often wondered why that is." He says sarcastically.

Cordelia: "Got a mirror?" she says as the three girls walk away from him.

Xander: "Check back tomorrow I'll have that devastating comeback ready."

Buffy then bumps into Xander as she was searching through her purse not looking. Knocking all of her belongings onto the ground.

Buffy: "Oof"

Xander: "whoa, sorry about that."

He then kneels down to help her pick up her stuff.

Buffy: "Oh that's okay, I was totally fazing. I'm trying to find the library."

Xander: "Oh, It's over there."

Xander then points in a direction.

Buffy: "Thanks."

Xander: "I don't know you do I?"

Buffy: "I'm Buffy, I'm new."

Xander: "Your new and improved." He says as he watches her walk away. He then looks down to see she has forgotten something. "Oh!" he picks it up. "Hey, you forgot, your stake?"

The scene changes to show Buffy entering the Library.

Buffy: "Hello? Hi, is anybody here?"

She then turns around to leave just to bump smack into Rupert Giles.

Buffy: "Ooh! Anybody's here."

Giles: "Can I help you?"

Buffy: "Textbooks, I'm looking for textbooks."

Giles: "Miss Summers?"

Buffy: "Nice call." She smiles "Guess I'm the only new kid, huh? So, I'm taking euro centric history and I'm going to need…"

Giles: "I think I know what your after."

He smiles as he pulls out a book with the label "Vampyr" and sets it on the counter in front of her. Startled Buffy slowly backs away.

Buffy: "That's not what I'm looking for."

Giles: "Are you sure?"

Buffy: "I'm way sure."

Giles: "My mistake."

He then picks up the book and sets it back under the counter

Giles: "Um, what is it you said…"

But he looks up just to see Buffy leaving.

Giles: "You wanted?" he finishes.

The scene then changes to show Buffy sitting in her classroom looking kinda sad. The bell rings and Buffy is then approached by Willow as she picks up her purse.

Willow: "Hi."

Buffy: "Hi."

Willow: "Mr. Brawns said for me to get you caught up, if your having trouble. Or I could not."

Buffy: "No, that would be great. History isn't my best subject, a sort of lack of that subject. I'm Buffy.

Willow: "I know, I'm Willow."

Buffy: "Good to meet you."

Buffy then shakes her hand. They are then shown walking along side of the school.

Willow: "That is a great outfit."

Buffy: "Thanks! I'm totally jamming on your dress."

Willow: "Uh." she smiles "No, It's dorky. I'm aware that it's dorky."

Buffy: "Not a jaw. It's lush. Laura Ashley is deffinately back."

Willow: "You think?"

Buffy: "She's back and this time it's personal. See, they mated her with the home depot guy and that's where you got Martha Stewart."

Willow: "Oh."

Buffy: "Can I ask you, what's up with the school librarian?"

Willow: "You met Mr. Giles." She shies away.

Buffy: "Yeah, is he new?"

Willow: "He started a few weeks ago. He used to be the courier of some British museum. I don't know why he would work here except that we do have some pretty important collections.

And that is when Cordelia and her other two friends walk up to Willow and Buffy.

Cordelia: "Hi, I'm Cordelia. We just thought we'd be a little welcoming committee, help you get adjusted, explain who to hang with and why." She says as she gives a quick glare to Willow.

Buffy: "Thanks."

Cordelia: "Quite frankly when I saw those shoes I knew their was a beautiful bond of sisterhood between us. Really, I was very very moved, really."

Cordelia then puts her arm around Buffy's shoulder as they walk away leaving Willow by herself.

The scene then changes to show the girls locker room where two girls are talking.

Aphrodesia: "The new kid? She seems kind of weird to me. What kind of name is Buffy?

A girl then walks past them.

Girl: "Hey Aphriodesia."

Aphrodesia: "Hey."

Girl #2: "Well, the chatter of the cap is that she got kicked out and that is why she is starting with a new semester."

Aphrodesia: "Nay!"

Girl #2: "Ha, she was starting fights."

Aphrodesia: "Says we."

The girls then begin opening their lockers.

Girl #2: "Well I heard it from blue and she said that she saw the transcript." A body then falls from out of her locker and onto her. "Screams!"

The scene then shows Buffy walking outside the school by herself when Xander runs to catch up with her holding the stake she dropped in one hand.

Xander: "I'm trying to work this out and all I could figure is that you are building a really little fence."

Buffy: "Oh, it's… no actually it was for self defense. My last school was kind of interesting."

The two then pass a group of white guys wearing sunglasses and listening to rap music.

Xander: "Well, it's pretty mellow here. You'll do find once you know your way around. Aw, those guys are the hawsers. They'd be genuine hard core gangsters except for the upper class white guy stigma. Total wannabes but they are okay."

They then pass a group of surfer type guys.

Xander: "Aw, Topanga inbreeds. Dudes, surfside up somewhere in the world."

Buffy: "Guess it's not that much different on my side of the hill."

Xander: "Well, try your hand at it."

Buffy: "Okay lets see. Um, that would have to be the theater club."

Xander: "Aw, well spotted. What gave it away?"

Buffy: "They are always way gestuery." She the mocks them as she over exaggerates on her gestures. "What is the homework!"

Xander then joins in exaggerating on his gestures.

Xander: "I didn't get the homework!" He then points out another clique group. "And them?"

Buffy: "Uh, film club?"

Xander: "They spend their time deciding that every movie is an existential mediation on freudian sexuality.

Buffy: "Even Muppets take Manhattan?"

Xander: "Especially the Muppets take Manhattan." Xander then looks up to see a different group pass their path. "Aw, the dirty girls."

Buffy: "Why do you call em… oh wow."

Xander: "They have views on hygiene, it's pretty intense."

Buffy: "So which group are you affiliated with?"

Xander: "Well I've applied to a few but it doesn't look good. Although I haven't heard back from the dirty girls. Willow! You've met Buffy right? She might be going to bronze tonight."

Buffy: "Willow what's wrong?"

Willow: "You didn't hear?"

Buffy: "Heard what?"

Willow: "In the woman's locker room, they found someone."

Xander: "And?"

Willow: "They found someone. I mean, someone….

Cordelia: "Dead!"

Cordelia interrupts as she and her friends intrude.

Buffy: "Dead?"

Cordelia: "Way dead."

Xander: "Its not just a little dead then."

Cordelia: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"

Buffy: "Are you guys sure?"

Willow: "I heard it from Miss Ramsey, he was in a locker room."

Harmony: "I heard that he used to go here and that it was a gang thing."

Willow: "You think he was killed by someone?"

Cordelia: "No I'm sure it was natural causes. He crawled up in the locker and died up old age."

Buffy: "Um, I gotta book. See you guys later okay."

As Buffy walks off to see the dead body she ends up meeting with Mr. Flutie.

Buffy: "Principle Flutie?"

Principle: "Bambi?" Buffy shakes her head no "Betty, uhhh Betty? Wilma?"

Buffy: "Buffy."

Principle: "Buffy, I am so sorry about this. I know it's your first day. I just want to say we very seldom, we almost never have dead kids stuffed in a locker. I have a very strict policy about this."

Buffy: "So is it's true?"

Principle: "oh yeah" he nods. "I know it's hard, certainly not the welcome I would have planned for you. I know you're upset, confused. You probably go that thing when you burp and you get that vommity taste in your mouth." Fake gags. "I just want you to know that we are all here for you. If theirs anything that you need…."

Buffy: "Can I look at the body?"

The camera shot changes to show Buffy walking into the girl's locker room. She then spots the blanket covering the dead body. She lifts up the tarp and looks at the dead guys neck to see to fang marks.

Buffy: "Oh great!"



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