Quotes

"Are You Now or Have You Ever Been"

Written by: Tim Minear
Quote List compiled by: MBNielsen9

Cordelia: English breakfast tea. Coffee. O Pos!

Cordelia: Something the matter?
Angel: I, um, I think it's gone bad. It's starting to coagulate.
Cordelia: Huh? No. That's cinnamon. What? I can't try something?

Bellhop: Guy gives me the heebie jeebies. Say, how about instead of this bill, I deliver an eviction notice?
Hotel Manager: We can not evict residents on the grounds of the heebie jeebies. Now, if we did, we'd have to shut down.

Judy: My boyfriend? He's kind of the jealous type.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't go wandering into other men's rooms.

Angel: He's goin' down.

Cordelia: You did notice that Angel neglected to tell us the, for instance, point of all this?
Wesley: Ah. Well, I mean, clearly, he has us compiling incidents, arranging data, organizing information in such a way that. . . yes, I did notice that -- the no point thing.

Wesley: Frankly, I haven't the slightest idea what to do with all this. We could make a collage. Or a mobile!

Wesley: Well, now we know one thing for certain.
Cordelia: Yup! It's not that vampires don't photograph. It's just that they don't photograph well!

Hotel Manager: This is the third one in as many months. Why can't they ever do it in their own homes, for god's sakes?
Bellhop: I should've seen it comin'. Guy did seem pretty depressed.
Hotel Manager: Oh really? How could you tell?
Bellhop: Kinda cheap though. The deathwishers usually tip better, like they know they're not gonna take it with them anyway.

Actor: Are all screenwriters this crass?
Blacklisted Writer: Are all actors this naive?

Judy: The entire universe explodes!
Angel: Sounds exciting.
Judy: Well, it's air conditioned.

Judy: Can you imagine that wallpaper being the last thing you see before you go?
Angel: Maybe it was the wallpaper that drove him to it.

Cordelia: It's kinda like a puzzle -- the Who Died Horribly Because Angel Screwed Up 50 Years Ago Game?

Angel: It's just blood, Judy. It's all just blood.

Judy: I'm not one thing or the other. I am nothing!
Angel: I know what that's like.

Wesley: There's a pattern here. Some force was residing at the Hyperion over the last decades affecting staff and residents. I just fear there's no real way to --
Cordelia: A Thesuliac. Paranoia demon -- whispers to its victims, feeds on their innate insecurities.
Wesley: [Gapes]
Cordelia: [holds out phone] Angel wants to talk to you.

Denver: They keep calling her a zany redhead. Could be a brunette for all I can tell. Guess I'll just have to take their word for it.

Angel: It's been a long time since I've opened a vein, but I'll do it you pull any more of that Van Helsing Jr. crap with me. Are we clear?

Hotel Manager: What took you so long?
Bellhop: He wouldn't fit.
Hotel Manager: What? What'd you do with him?
Bellhop: He's in there. I just had to sorta, you know, what do you call it, make him fit. No chance I can get in trouble for that, is there?

Blacklisted Writer: Maybe he saw you with one of your little trysts. Maybe he threatened to tell the studio. Expose, perhaps, your little peccadilloes to the press.
Actor: Don't you dare use alliteration with me, you hack!

Denver: So, you were, what, about my age when you were made?
Angel: I don't know. How old are you?
Denver: Just north of 30.
Angel: [Indignant] No!

Denver: Vampire wanting to slay a demon in order to help some grubby humans? I just don't get it.
Angel: To be honest, I'm not sure I do either.

Wesley: Orb of Ramjarin!
Gunn: "Orb of Ramjarin, please," makes it happen.

Wesley: Please. And do be careful. Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile.
Gunn: [Tosses Orb at Wes]
Wesley: ANGEL!
Angel: Guys, don't listen to it, alright? Whatever it's whispering to you, just ignore it.
Cordelia: They were like this all the way over here in the car.
Angel: Oh.

Thesulac: Oh, you got your feelings hurt didn't you? See, now, what happens when you stick your neck out for 'em? They throw rope around it!

Thesulac: There's an entire hotel here just full of tortured souls who could really use your help. Whaddya say?
Angel: Take 'em all.

Angel: Watch his tentacles.
Cordelia: Excuse me?!
Wesley: Tentacles.

Thesulac: I don't remember ordering take out, but I like what you brung me. Not as delectable as the last one perhaps, but full of tasty paranoia just the same. Especially that one.
Wesley: What did he mean by that?

Wesley: What did it mean "especially that one"?!

Judy: I'm so sorry I killed you. Can you forgive me?
Angel: Of course.

Wesley: I've been accused of a great many things in my time, but paranoid has never been one of them. Unless people have been saying it behind my back.

Cordelia: Are we finished?
Angel: Think so.
Cordelia: Good. Because I, for one, will be glad to see the last of this place. Gives me the heebie jeebies.
Gunn: No lie. Plus, it's kinda got an odor to it, you notice that?
Cordelia: Seventy years of violence, mayhem, and paranoia? Bad vibes.
Angel: We're moving in.
Cordelia: I mean, a few throw pillows -- what's not to love?

Wesley: Angel. You don't find me especially paranoid, do you?
Angel: Not especially.
Wesley: Oh, thank god. I was worried.

Previous Episode

Next Episode