Quotes

"Happy Anniversary"

Written by: David Greenwalt
Quote List compiled by: AnGeL X

Wesley: And when we go out of business, we leave our stuff for the next guy to clean up?
Cordelia: Hey, hey, negative energy boy! With all of our money pooled together, we can stay here for a long time.
Wesley: Twenty minutes.
Cordelia: At least.

Gunn: Okay, everyone parked within ten blocks has a flyer on their windshield. We just slightly irritated almost a hundred people. Does it smell funky in here?
Cordelia: It will air out.

Wesley: Aha! Things looking up! I think I found the right wire! Ah! (lights out)
Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining, really.

Angel: What I hear--and maybe, hopefully, I'm still dreaming--is the Star Spangled Banner being belted out by a loud green demon.

Host: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. (points to face) Although this garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that too much to ask?

Host: Tomorrow night the world's going to end. Thought you might want to know.

Host: Man, you just get darker and darker, and the weird thing is, your aura? Beige.

Mike: You know, he's really not that much smarter than the rest of us.
Val: I guess that's why his work on the time paradox earned Professor Orfala a Nobel nomination and your work on carpet mold was promptly forgotten by everyone.
Mike: You know what you are?
Val: Yes I do, Mike, and if you say it I'll put your face in liquid nitrogen.

Angel: Seventeen karaoke bars. I need to lie down and... scrub out the inside of my head.

Angel: He's a demon. Better do what he says, or he might...talk your ears off.

Cordelia: There, see? We'll work without the harsh glare of fluorescents. Or all that distracting computer information.
Gunn: Cordelia, stop trying.
Cordelia: Really?
Wesley: Join us.
Cordelia: Ahh.
Wesley: Sometimes you need to wallow. Let the depression settle in silently.

Virginia: You guys must be so excited! (off sad looks) In that really dry suicidal way.

Wesley: Sorry, sweetheart, you just caught us in a moment of... well...
Cordelia: Reality.
Virginia: Oh. That. I avoid that.
Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia: Money. It cures everything but boredom. And food cures boredom so there you go.

Cordelia: By "big guy," do you mean "demon?"
Virginia: Yeah. But by "house" I mean "palatial estate" And by "grateful" I mean "they'll give you big tubs of cash." Really rich family. They invented, I don't know, chairs or something.

Gene: Okay, I think this is a yee-hah moment, I think this is definitely a yee-hah moment. YEEEEE-HAHHHH!

Angel: Where did you learn to drive?
Host: Just now, in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?
Angel: You nearly got us killed four times.

Host: Huh. So there's another gear after that number two thingy? Relax, I'll pay for a tune up... Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook.

Angel: I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart.
Host: Technically, someone puts a stake through it, you don't have anything anymore, so bubba, your heart counts.

Angel: I think you should shut up now.
Host: Excuse me, I'm the Host, have you met me? I never shut up.

Angel: You wanna know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil and--newsflash--I never can. Never gonna be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law school graduates working full time to drive me crazy. Why the Hell is everyone so surprised it's working? But no, it's "Angel you're so cranky, Angel should lighten up, you should smile, Angel you should wear a nice plaid."
Host: Oh, not this season, Honey.

Gunn: That was cool.
Wesley: It wasn't that difficult, you just have to keep sifting the evidence until the truth finally hits you.

Denise: You know... Jack thinks he can't playit without a goatee now.
Gene: The footstool would have a goatee?

Angel: Well, you know, love, it's... it's a fire.
Gene: You been there, huh?
Angel: It burns you. Alive. Down to the bone. Then it turns the bone to ash and the cold wind just...
Host: I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here, Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better.

Host: You're connecting to a human, it's a start, although I'd go easy on the bone and ash metaphors for a while.

Man: Well, which one of you is Angel?
Wesley: It's just a name.

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