Quotes

"Blood Money"

Written by: Shawn Ryan and Mere Smith
Quote List compiled by: AnGeL X

Gunn: Three fifths of the world covered in water, the rest covered in me!

Cordelia: Fun as it is having you guys over day and night, it's getting kind of late.
Wesley: It's only seven-thirty.
Cordelia: Really? Oh, in that case: get out.

Wesley: Right. I'll tell you the first thing we're scrapping... these stupid calling cards.
Cordelia: They're not stupid! I designed them. That's an Angel!
Wesley: The universal symbol of the one thing we don't have.
Gunn: That's an Angel? Looks like a lobster with a... growth...

Gunn: So it's big.
Wesley: Big.
Gunn: Fire-breathing.
Wesley: Breathing.
Gunn: Big, two-headed, fire-breathing--
Wesley: I think we got the picture, Gunn. He's not a teddy bear. And he probably shouldn't be attending the Kenyard School for Girls.
Gunn: You know right about now I wouldn't mind having--
Wesley: Don't say it. We don't have him and it's not going to do any good wishing we did. Gunn: I was going to say some dynamite.

Gunn: Damn tunnel's at least twenty feet tall. He was crouching!
Wesley: We'll take another look, then we'll...
Gunn: Die.

Wesley: Wait, wait... till his back is turned... now!
Gunn: I thought she said he breathed fire?!

Angel: Demon lairs. No invitation necessary.
Merl: Yeah, but it's polite.
Angel: You avoiding me, Merl? I ask you for a favor and you're avoiding me? That's impolite.
Merl: Well, nearly drownin' me and leavin' me hangin' in a sewer ain't exactly Emily Post, either.
Angel: Okay. So we're both rude. You know what? I can live with that. Now, do you have the information I want, or am I gonna have to see what the inside of that head looks like?

Merl: Hey! What about my hundred bucks?
Angel: You know what? I'll owe you. But make sure you use it for new furniture. Bean bag chairs? (disappointed) Merl.

Anne: Hey! Guy I ran over!
Angel: Hey -- girl who ran over me.
Anne: You can call me Anne. It's shorter.

Anne: (re: Cordy's top) Well, that's... not what I expected. What's the matter... doesn't fit you anymore?
Angel: Cut's me across the bust.

Angel: Lilah. I just had to drop by and congratulate you on the big promotion. Co-vice president of special projects. Wow. That's super. You deserve it. Yeah. That and, well... so much more.

Lilah: Angel... I can assure you, now that Lindsey and I are in a position to affect policy, things will change.
Angel: Change? Well... yeah. 'Cause I get it now.
Lilah: "It?"
Angel: The game. Kinda fun actually when you know the rules. I mean... when you know there aren't any. You screw with me. And you screw with me. And you screw with me... and now... I get screw with you.
Lilah: Uh...
Angel: It's gonna be great!

Lilah: Angel, please...
Angel: No, no, no. The begging comes later.

Assistant: Mr. McDonald, your ten o'clock is here.
Lindsey: I don't have a ten o'clock.
Assistant: I'm not gonna tell him that.

Boone: Haven't seen Angel since Juarez in the Twenties. We got into a little disagreement over a señorita. I called him out. We fought for three and a half hours.
Lindsey: Obviously, both of you survived.
Boone: I was working on a three-day drunk at the time. I wasn't at my peak.

Boone: All I do know is, when Angel comes for you...he's going to find me instead.
Lindsey: I like it. I like it and I'll tell you why. Because of the finding you instead part.

Lilah: So what if this guy's as good as he thinks and actually kills Angel?
Lindsey: Boo hoo. Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand.
Lilah: Hey, Napoleon. We're co-vice presidents. This plan of yours explodes, we both end up in tiny pieces.
Lindsey: Do you want Angel hitchin' another ride in your back seat? So to speak. Besides, if he's not going to play by the old rules... why should we?

Cordelia: You weren't scared?
Wesley: Oh mother in heaven...
Gunn:...pants wetting, begging the Lord to save you kind of scared.

Wesley: The Wyndam-Pryce Agency!
Cordelia & Gunn: The what?
Wesley: You don't like it? It's classy.
Cordelia: It's stuffy. The Chase Agency. That has the right ring.
Wesley: Why?
Cordelia: Because it's my name.
Gunn: Wes, Ms. Chase, only one player here with the name that strikes dread in the demon heart.
Cordelia: Gunn? Oh yeah, that's so original. I've got a gun and my name is Gunn.
Wesley: Wyndam-Price says everything you need to--
Cordelia & Gunn: Shut up!

Anne: You startled me. What are you doing here?
Angel: I have to talk to you.
Anne: Oh boy. You're not stalking me, are you?
Angel: Actually, I am.

Lindsey: Believe me, if I had known that this man was in contact with you, I would have come sooner. I'm just thankful that I got here in time.
Angel: Little over the top. Maybe if you worked on that look of concern.

Anne: That... guy. Who beat up Angel. He wasn't human.
Lindsey: No. You see, Anne, there's... another world.
Anne: Lindsey. I'm not naïve.

Anne: I sorta thought you'd show up again.
Angel: You all right?
Anne: I didn't have a big monster pounding my face into the floor, so I figure I'm better than you.
Angel: What did Lindsey say about me?
Anne: That you were a bad man.
Angel: A bad man.
Anne: Well, a psychotic vampire who cut off his hand, harassed his firm and may be borderline schizophrenic. I was giving you the short version.

Anne: Few years ago, it would have been a big turn on. I thought vampires were the coolest.
Angel: What happened?
Anne: I met one.
Angel: you're not afraid of me.
Anne: Well, I've seen worse things since. I've seen a 14 year old girl sitting in her own blood after a rough trick and dozens of people just walking right by so no, vampires, demons, even lawyers pretty much don't impress me. Maybe you had a real good reason for cutting off Lindsey's hand; I don't care. I care about the shelter. If an "evil law firm" is gonna help me raise two million dollars...

Nathan: Things progressing nicely?
Lilah: Well, it's a pretty simple formula. Rich people pay to touch famous people. Cameras catch all the not- quite-prostitutional action. Pretty, profitable, and it all goes into the public consciousness as a good deed courtesy of Wolfram and Hart. It's really true, charity gives you this warm glow, you know?

Lindsey: Everything's going to be okay.
Lilah: Sure it is, 'cause all we did is oversee a scheme to steal two million dollars from a teen homeless shelter. How did this happen?!

Lilah: Now let's get started, but not with a plea for money. No, no... we're not here tonight to ask you for money... We're here to take it at gunpoint!

Holden: What? There's stunts now? This is gonna take forever.
Serena: (re: Boone) I'm not buying the make-up.

Angel: You have any idea how hard it is to secretly record someone as paranoid as you two?

Anne: How dare you? I risked everything in there. I risked my kids. You never even planned to expose the scheme...
Angel: They woulda covered it up. I just wanted to shake 'em up a bit. Not much, but it's a start.
Anne: And the money?
Angel: The money was tainted.
Anne: I don't care about--
Angel: Yes you do. That's the difference between us. You still care.

Lindsey: How do you expect us to succeed when you handcuff us with these idiotic rules protecting Angel?!
Nathan: I'm sorry. Did you say something?
Lindsey: Angel's an obstacle to everything we do. Give me one reason why we can't just kill him?!
Nathan: Because Angel is a major player...
Lilah: In business?
Nathan: In the Apocalypse.
Lilah: Oh, that.

Anne: What is this?
Angel: Blood.
Anne: It'll wash.

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