Quotes

"Disharmony"

Written by: David Fury
Quote List compiled by: AnGeL X

Wesley: This is torture for you, isn't it?
Angel: Yes.
Wesley: Good.

Angel: Man, atonement's a bitch.

Cordelia: If you're going to start trying to make small talk, get all stammery, don't. You might strain yourself.

Cordelia: Okay, you want to know how I am? Tired, mostly. With sweaty running a close second. I'm also jazzed. I can't wait to get our business up and sputtering again. Ready to help those helpless. But, just so we understand each other. You and I? We're not friends.

Cordelia: Whoa. Big bird.
Gunn: Big bird?
Cordelia: Not the muppet, dumbass.

Harmony: I just broke up with someone. Real smothering relationship. You know the kind where they just can't live without you.
Cordelia: Oh, sure. That one. Hate that.

Wesley: Gunn, search the area near the fountain. I'll take this path near the picnic area. Angel--
(woman screams)
Angel: Follow the screaming woman?

Gunn: (reveals vamp under robe) Now see? What you wanna go hiding such a pretty face for?

Angel: Do you think maybe that I should send her something? Like flowers maybe?
Wesley: Flowers?
Angel: Yeah, you know, to say "thanks." "I'm sorry about the migraines?" You know, "I appreciate you."
Wesley: Yes, by all means and uh, while you're at it, pick me up one of those "Sorry You Were Shot in the Gut" bouquets.
Angel: Right. Sorry.
Wesley: You can't buy back her trust, Angel. Or her affections.
Angel: She said... She said we're not friends, Wesley.

Harmony: We totally ruled!
Cordelia: Yep, that we did.
Harmony: We were powerful, rich, popular.
Cordelia: None of that's changed for me. Apart from the "powerful, rich and popular."

Cordelia: It's hard to explain, but... It's like... I had these... I dunno, air pockets inside me... and the work I'm doing... we're doing... It's like the pockets keep getting... filled up and I'm becoming me and... Me has had way too much to drink so me shut up.

Cordelia: (into phone) How could you guys not tell me about Harmony? Sunnydale's so far away you couldn't afford a little phone call?

Cordelia: She practically attacked me in my bedroom last night.
Willow: Your bedroom? How did she--
Cordelia: Came in while I was sleeping. Good thing I woke up, too. She was ready to jump me right there. But I think she got the message that I don't go for that sort of stuff when I shot her down.
Willow: You wounded her?
Cordelia: Maybe a little, but she'll get over it. Never should've invited her to stay with me.
Willow: Say what?!
Cordelia: Yeah, I know. Awkward much?
Willow: Cordelia--
Cordelia: Meanwhile she's been in my bathroom for almost half an hour.
Willow: Cordelia!
Cordelia: God knows what she's--
Willow: We're all clear on the fact that Harmony's a vampire?
Cordelia: OH! Harmony's a vampire? That's why she... Oh my god! I'm so embarrassed. All this time, I thought she was a great big lesbo! (Willow tells Cordy about her lifestyle change) Oh yeah? Really? Well, that's great. Good for you.
Willow: Thanks for the affirmation.

Wesley: Get away from her...foot.

Wesley: Your friend Harmony here is a--
Cordelia: Vampire. Yeah, I know.
Wesley: An evil vampire.
Harmony: Yeah, we covered that too.
Cordelia: So, you just thought you'd just bust into my house and kill my friend without giving her a chance to explain herself?
Angel: Yeah, pretty much.
Wesley: That was the plan.
Cordelia: Well, holster your guns boys. She came to me for help. That's what we do, right? Help?

Cordelia: Hey, I told you. Harmony is my friend and I trust her completely. Harmony can stay here.
Harmony: I don't want to stay here alone with the ghost.

(Harmony pops her gum)
Wesley: Someone put a stake through that woman's heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum!
Cordelia: Harmony, do me a favor. Loose the gum.
Harmony: Okay, okay. Sorry. I thought it would help with the cravings. (Wraps gum in old text paper) I mean, you'd think I'd get a thank you for not biting anyone.
Wesley: What are you doing?! This book is twelve centuries old!
Harmony: Okay, so it's not like a messed up a new one.

Harmony: I mean, how do you stand everything? Being what you are? How can you deprive yourself of the taste? The sensation of rich, warm, human blood, flowing into your mouth, bathing your tongue, caressing your throat with it's sweet, sticky--
Gunn: I'm back.
Angel: Me too.

Wesley: It's alright to speak freely in front of her. She's a vampire.
Gunn: Don't we kill them anymore?

Harmony: (spills blood over keyboard) Okay, that was my fault.
Wesley: Get her out of here. Now.
Cordelia: Come on, Harm.
Wesley: Such a fitting nick-name.

Cordelia: So, uh, what do you think?
Host: I think your friend should reconsider the name, "Harmony."

Gunn: Just so we on the same page. When we find this vampire cult, we are going to kill 'em this time, right?

Wesley: Angel.
Angel: It's your place to tell her.
Wesley: She won't listen to me.
Angel: Welcome to my world.

Harmony: What about me? What's my job?
Wesley: Guard the car.
Harmony: You got it boss. Anyone comes near this car, I will rip his throat out.
Wesley: No, no killing.
Harmony: Okay, maiming only.
Angel/Wesley/Cordelia: No!
Gunn: Hey, can we yell a little louder? I'm not sure the crazed cult of vampires heard us sneaking up on 'em.

Cordelia: You didn't just betray me, Angel. You didn't just hurt me. You gave away my clothes!
Angel: To the needy.
Cordelia: I am the needy. Do you know how scared I was you were on your way to becoming Angelus again? Imagine what could have happened if you'd gone nuts and slept with Darla.
Angel: You know I would never do that.

Angel: Look, if she's in trouble, we'll rescue her.
Gunn: Now we're saving a vampire from vampires? I got two words for that. Nah and uh.

Cordelia: Well, Harmony. Aren't you just the most weak-willed soft-brained--
Harmony: Uh, uh, uh, Doug says those kinds of comments are self-growth inhibitors. I tune out mental road blocks.

Doug: Oh, I'm sorry. You can all put your weapons down now.

Harmony: (laughs)
Cordelia: What's so funny?
Harmony: Your crossbow. You've got it aimed at my through. You can be so stupid. That won't kill me.
Cordelia: No, it'll just hurt like hell. (aims another crossbow) This is the one that will kill you.

Harmony: We're still friends right?
Cordelia: No Harmony, we're not friends. Just get out of here.
Harmony: Really?
Cordelia: Not just here, I want you out of my city. You're going to want to be as far away from me as possible.

Cordelia: Don't say anything. Not a word.

Wesley: Time and space, those are really the only things one can give in a situation like this. As long as we both understand this, the healing process can--
(Cordelia screams)
Cordelia: Oh my god! These are gorgeous. You have like the most amazing taste. You have, like, a gay man's taste and that's saying something. I love them, so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best. I have to go try these on. La, la, la, la, la, la! New clothes! I have new clothes!
Angel: I got her clothes.

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