Quotes

"Dead End"

Written by: David Greenwalt
Quote List compiled by: AnGeL X

Nathan: And, the current status of Angel?
Lindsey: Angel? He's up, he's down, he's good he's bad, he's a barrel of dead monkeys.
Lilah: He's back with his group, sir. According to my sources he's doing better, in the sense that he's not currently spending all of his time alone on the warpath trying to kill...well, us.

Wesley: Let's start by calling the hospitals.
Gunn: And saying what? Did my uncle check in with a knife in his eye? They only give information to relatives. I just got the calling the hospital job, didn't I?

Doctor: Do you have any questions?
Lindsey: One. What the hell is going on?
Doctor: Your boss didn't tell you?
Lindsey: No.
Doctor: They have a funny sense of humor over there.
Lindsey: Yeah, they keep us hopping.

Doctor: Don't look so nervous. This is cause for applause. In just a few hours time, you'll be doing the applauding.

Angel: Can I get you anything?
Cordelia: Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Angel: No reason.

Lilah: That's an expensive operation. The Shaman alone is a...quarter mil. I guess they like you, they really like you.

Angel: Thanks. Keep the change.
Delivery Guy: Wow, I whole dollar just for me. I'm the luckiest delivery man ever.

Cordelia: What's going on here?
Angel: I forgot what you liked.
Cordelia: Why didn't you ask me?
Angel: Well, you said why is everyone asking if they can get you anything. I didn't want to do that...
Cordelia: So you did this, instead?
Angel: Yup.
Cordelia: I love you. And you ought to do that more often.
Angel: Buy you food?
Cordelia: Smile.

Angel: There's only one thing we can do now.
Cordelia: Oh god. Oh no.
Wesley: The kareoke bar.
Gunn: Angel's gonna sing?
Cordelia: Isn't there some other way?
Wesley: There has to be. Think, damnit!
Angel: Hey!

Cordelia: You should pick something short.
Angel: I was thinking about "Stairway to Heaven."
Wesley: Don't even joke about that.

Angel: I mean, what is that: rock, country, ballad? Pick a style, pal.

Angel: Is everyone drunk?

Lindsey: I see you outside of this club, I'll kill you.
The Host: Oooo, resentment's such an ugly emotion. I hope you've overcome yours, Angel. 'Cause right now he's got your case in the--forgive me--palm of his hand. Toodles.

Angel: You know, when I was in charge here, nobody questioned my methods or my singing. Cordelia: You're half right.

Wesley: We're supposed to be the private detectives.
Gunn: We're supposed to have a friend on the force.
Angel: Well we did but she got fired, get over it.

Lindsey: Why aren't you trying to kill me?
Angel: Excuse me, I'm on a case here, Lindsey. Does everything always have to be about killing you all the time?
PO: I can see you guys got issues, so I'll just--
Lindsey: That is my lead! You're choking my lead!
Angel: (childish voice) He's my lead. He's my lead. What are we on the schoolyard here? Now look, if you want to get to the bottom of this, you've got to learn how to play with others. (To Sam) Now, I'm gonna loosen the rope and you're gonna tell me all about your parolee Bradley Scott.
Lindsey: Who?
Angel: Guy whose hand you're wearing. You might want to listen up.
Lindsey: Don't tell me what to do.
Angel: He's so immature.
Lindsey: Shut up!

Angel: Can you just taste that butter fat?
Lindsey: You are really gross, you know that?

Gunn: Well, she's been a little cranky lately, but it's not like she's...
Cordelia: (in other room) Angel? Where are you? I can't-- Are you there?
(Wes and Gunn burst through the door to see Cordy on phone)
Cordelia: Nothing. I'm fine. It's just Gunn and Wesley are playing with the doors.

Angel: You know it's none of my business but... you don't seem all that happy.
Lindsey: I know you're Mr. Save A Soul but at least you used to throw down with your enemies. What do you want to do now, you want to share?

Angel: You just keep on moping. You're good at that.

Lindsey: I don't have my laptop.
Angel: Huh?
Lindsey: My computer. If you want me to hack into the system and break the codes, I'm definitely going to need it to get in.
Angel: Wait, wait. That seems like a bother, why don't we just fight, huh? (Angel raises ax, Lindsey prepares) You might want to step aside.

Bradley: (gasping) Kill...
Lindsey: Kill who? Who do you want to kill?
Bradley: (gasping) Kill...me.

Angel: How's everything in your head?
Cordelia: What?
Angel: Any vision aftermaths?
Cordelia: It's better.
Wesley: (concerned) What?
Cordelia: It's just, it's starting to take a toll. It's part of the job, right?

Lindsey: You could have had it, but you didn't have what it takes. (Lilah jumps) An evil hand.

Lindsey: (grabs a gun from guard) Uh-oh, uh-oh. (shoots guard in foot) Ooooh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop evil hand, stop it. I just can't control my evil hand.

Lindsey: Me? I'm unreliable. I've got these evil hand issues and I'm bored with this crap.

Lindsey: (grabs Lilah's butt and raises hand) Evil.

Angel: Oh, I really like this truck. '56, right? First year they had wrap-around windshields. You know, back in the fifties we all thought life was gonna be like in the Jetsons by now. Air cars, robots. I'd love to have an air car. Wouldn't that be cool?
Lindsey: So, you're here to talk me to death.
Angel: Nah, I just came here to say, things don't always work out like you think. I bet Wolfram and Hart aren't too happy losing one of their best and brightest.
Lindsey: Yeah, well, let 'em come try to stop me. It'll be fun.

Lindsey: I hope you're not waiting for me to tell you that I learned some kind of a lesson. That I had a big moral crisis, but now I see the light.
Angel: No, no. If you told me that, then I'd have to kill you. I'm just here to say 'bon voyage.' Don't come back.

Lindsey: The key to Wolfram and Hart: don't let them make you play their game. You gotta make them play yours.
Angel: Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Don't drive too fast now. Lots of cops out there.

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