Faith, Hope & Trick
Quotes



Willow: "As seniors, we can go off campus for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's
legal. Heck, it's expected."

Willow: "What if they're lying in wait to arrest me and, and throw me in
detention and mar my unblemished record?"

Willow: "Maybe we shouldn't be too couply around Buffy."
Cordelia: "Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned
into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?"
Xander: "Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell or what?"

Oz: "All right, prepare to uncouple. Uncouple."

Xander: "Buffy! Banned from campus, but not from our hearts. How are ya'
and what's for lunch?"

Cordelia: "When did you become Martha Stewart?"
Buffy: "First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto."
Xander: "I don't believe she slays either."
Oz: "Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to."

Willow: "He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I
think you're ready now, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make
conversation. Or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth. I meant that little
half-smile thing that you--. You're supposed to stop me when I do that."
Oz: "I like when you do that."

Willow: "Don't you think that went very well?"
Cordelia: "He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress."

Xander: "Oh, you want to date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut. Ha ha ha
ha."

Xander: "Ha ha ha... ow."

Buffy: "All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save
the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I want to do girlie stuff."

Mr. Trick: "I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers. You know,
strictly the caucasian persuasion here in the 'Dale. But, you know, you just
gotta' stand up and salute their death rate."

Mr. Trick: "It makes D.C. look like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about
it."

Kakistos: "The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body, and then I'm
going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her bones."
Mr. Trick: "Now I'm hungry."

Angel: "Go to hell! Ha ha ha ha. I did."

Joyce: "Morning, Sunshine! Ready to face the beast?"

Principal Snyder: "Two -- that you provide, in writing, one glowing letter of
recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English
librarian."

Joyce: "I spoke with the school board, and according to them..."
Principal Snyder: "I'm required to educate every juvenile who is not in jail
where she belongs."

Joyce: "I think what my daughter's trying to say is: 'Nyah nyah nyah nyah
nyah!'"

Willow: "Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad but he's too English
to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?"
Buffy: "Hi, Giles!"

Buffy: "Okay, Acathla, huh? What are you doing, making him some demon
pizza?"

Buffy: "Big fight. Angel got the pointy end of the sword. Acathla sucked him
into Hell instead of the world. That's about the it."

Buffy: "Oh no, I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you
credit just for speaking it, right?"

Willow: "Mmm, sage. I love that smell. And Marnox root. You know, a smidge
of this mixed with a virgin's saliva..."
Giles: "..."
Willow: "... does something I know nothing about."

Giles: "What have you been conjuring?"
Willow: "Nothing... much."

Willow: "Floating feather. Fire out of ice -- which, next time, I won't do on the
bedspread."

Willow: "Are you mad at me?"
Giles: "No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking
sound with my tongue."

Buffy: "Hello, my life, how I've missed you."

Willow: "Hi, Scott! What are you doing here?"
Scott: "You told me if I came after eight, I could run into Buffy. Uh, I'm sorry.
I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul, or the skin actually. It makes me
blotch."

Willow: "Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, and, and normal, which is
what you wanted to get back to."
Oz: "Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'."

Cordelia: "Check out Slut-o-Rama and her Disco Dave. What was the last thing
that guy danced to, K.C. and the Sunshine Band?"

Buffy: "I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine."

Willow: "That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it wrong."

Oz: "I'm gonna' go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town."

Xander: "Wow! They should film that story and show it every Christmas."

Faith: "Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?"
Buffy: "Well... sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards."

Cordelia: "Xander, find a new theme."

Buffy: "Uh... oh, oh, do you guys remember The Three? That's right, you never
met The Three."

Willow: "Oz is a werewolf."
Buffy: "It's a long story."
Oz: "I got bit."
Buffy: "Apparently not that long."
Faith: "Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg, we're
five-by-five, ya' know?"
Oz: "Fair enough."

Faith: "The vamps, though. They better get their asses to Defcon One. 'Cause
you and I are gonna' have fun, you know? Watcherless and fancy-free."

Giles: "It's a great honor to be invited... or so I'm told."
Faith: "Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you."
Buffy: "Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles."
Faith: "I've seen him. If I'd have known they came that young and cute, I
would've requested a transfer."
Buffy: "Raise your hand if 'ew'."

Giles: "Leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I'd say it was,
um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did."

Willow: "Aha!"
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Sorry, I just meant... aha! There's a big evil brewin'. You'll never be
bored here, Faith, 'cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil."

Willow: "You know, you can hang out with us whlie she's testing. You
wanna'?"
Xander: "Say 'yes' and, uh, bring your stories."
Buffy: "You guys go. It's fine. Fine. I'll just... sit."

Buffy: "Giles, look, I've got make-up tests to pass, missing people in Sunset
Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. Next time I kill Angel, I'll video it."

Willow: "And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by
snakes."
Xander: "And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow."
Willow: "Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly
massacred us all on parent-teacher night. Oh, and up those stairs, I was
sucked into a muddy grave."
Xander: "And they say young people don't learn anything in high school
nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid."

Faith: "You guys are a hoot and a half. I mean, if I had friends like you in high
school, I... probably still would've dropped out, but I might've been sad about it,
you know?"

Cordelia: "What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one,
and put a stake to your throat."
Xander: "Oh, please, God, don't let that be sarcasm."

Cordelia: "Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?"

Willow: "Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off. I mean, if you're done with
him. Not... that you used him."

Buffy: "Why am I seeing a look?"
Willow: "You really do need to find the fun, B."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Uffy."

Mr. Trick: "I mean, you know, you get the hankering for the blood of a
fifteen-year-old Filipina, and I'm on the net and she's here the next day, express
air."

Joyce: "So you're a Slayer too. Isn't that interesting. Do you like it?"

Faith: "Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away, and I only
know one thing: that I'm gonna' win, and they're gonna' lose. I like that feelin'."
Buffy: "Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you
lose."

Joyce: "Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. See, honey, you gotta' fight
that."

Joyce: "I like this girl, Buffy."
Buffy: "She's very personable. She gets along with my friends, my Watcher,
my mom. Look, now she's getting along with my fries."
Joyce: "Now, Buffy..."
Buffy: "Plus at school today, she was making eyes at my not-boyfriend. This is
creepy."
Joyce: "Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?"
Buffy: "No, but I'm the one getting single-white-female'd here."

Joyce: "When did you die? You never told me you died."
Buffy: "No, uh, it was just for a few minutes."

Joyce: "I have tried to march in the "Slayer Pride" parade, but... I don't want
you to die."

Buffy: "I've got help now. I've got all the help I can stand."

Faith: "Didn't we, um, do this street already?"
Buffy: "Funny thing about vamps. They'll hit a street even after you've been
there. It's like they have no manners."

Faith: "I'm five-by-five here, B, living entirely large, actually wondering about
your problem."
Buffy: "Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle alligators..."
Faith: "Maybe it's time you started 'cause obviously something in your bottle
needs uncorking."

Faith: "What are you getting so strung out for, B?"
Buffy: "Why are your lips still moving, F?"
Faith: "Did I just hear a threat?"
Buffy: "Would you like to?"
Faith: "Wow. Think you can take me?"
Buffy: "Yeah. I just hope they can't!"

Faith: "My dead mother hits harder than that!"

Faith: "Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the
wrong line of work."

Buffy: "The job is to slay demons. Not to beat them to a bloody pulp while
they're friends corner me."

Giles: "What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different
temperaments."
Buffy: "Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck,
Giles: She has almost no deck. She has a three."

Giles: "She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do."
Buffy: "She doesn't need a life. She has mine."
Giles: "I think you're being a little--."
Buffy: "No, I'm being a lot. I know that."

Giles: "I'll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat. They're eight hours
ahead now. Yes, they're probably sitting down to a nightcap. I wonder if they
still kayak. I used to love a good kayak. You see, they don't even consider--."
Buffy: "..."
Giles: "Sorry, I digress."

Buffy: "No tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh, oh, the one that nearly bit me
mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast."
Giles: "Do you mean 'Kakistos'?"
Buffy: "Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?"
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Is that bad?"

Giles: "You think he and Faith are connected?"
Buffy: "Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and
leprechauns."
Giles: "Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they arrived here by chance
simultaneously."
Buffy: "Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?"
Giles: "As far as I know."

Buffy: "I'm gonna' talk to Faith, see if khaki trousers rings--."
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Kakistos rings a bell... or an alarm."

Scott: "Think of this as my last-ditch effort. I realize that one more is gonna'
qualify as stalking."

Scott: "Keaton is key."

Faith: "I'm the one who can handle this."
Buffy: "Yeah, you're a real badass when it comes to packing."

Buffy: "Faith, you run, he runs after you."
Faith: "That's where the head start comes in handy."

Buffy: "Scream later! Escape now!"

Buffy: "Faith, first rule of slaying: don't die."

Buffy: "You hungry?"
Faith: "Starved."

Buffy: "So I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him."

Buffy: "Wow, if I knew I was gonna' go on this long, I probably would've
brought some water."

Scott: "I don't know, Buffy. I'm, I'm really gonna' have to think about this."
Buffy: "..."
Scott: "Okay, you know what, I thought about it, and I'm in. When do you want
to go?"

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