Xander: "I don't know - I was going for ferocious/scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic."
Willow: "It does appear to be mocking you with its eyeholes."
Oz: "Yeah, and its nosehole seems sad and full of self-loathing."

Buffy: "I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out."

Xander: "People, prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying... Fantasia. Fantasia?"
Oz: "Maybe it's because of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to."

Buffy: "The scary house? Sounds kind of lame."
Oz: "It actually borders on fun."

Xander: "I got better things to do than tag along to some fraternity."
Willow: "You can come."
Xander: "'Kay. But only because I lied about having better things to do."
Oz: "Laughs will be had by all."

Buffy: "I'm gonna get going."
Xander: "Now? Tonight's still... well, okay, it's a little mature, but still..."

Xander: "Sad Buffy."
Willow: "She didn't even touch her pumpkin. It's a freak with no face."

Xander: "Bailing on the Buff. Does anyone else want to smack that guy?"

Willow: "I just feel like I've plateaued, wicca-wise."

Buffy: "You know, if it's too much, don't do it."
Willow: "Don't do it? What kind of encouragement is that?"
Buffy: "This is an encouragement talk? I thought it was 'share my pain'."

Willow: "I'll know when I've reached my limit."
Oz: "Wine coolers?"
Buffy: "Magic."
Oz: "Ooh. Didn't encourage her, did you?"
Willow: "Where's supportive boyfriend guy?"
Oz: "Oh, he's picking up your dry-cleaning. But he told me to tell you he's afraid you're gonna get hurt."
Willow: "Okay, Brutus. (pause) Brutus. Uh, Caesar? Betrayal, trusted friend, back-stabby?"
Oz: "Oh, I'm with you on the reference, but..."

Oz: "But, just know that, whatever you decide, I'll back your play."
Buffy: "See? Concerned guy is sweet guy."

Buffy: "I don't want to deal with this right now. I'm taking a holiday from dealing. Happily vacationing in the land of not-coping."

Buffy: "I don't want to meet someone. I've reached my quota on someones."

Buffy: "Oh... my god."
Giles: "It's a sombrero."
Buffy: "And it's on your head."
Giles: "It seemed festive."

Giles: "Creatures of the night shy away from Halloween. they find it all much too crass."
Buffy: "Hard to believe."

Frat Guy 1: "If we cannot scare the young women, they will not fall into our arms. We'll have womanless arms. Halloween's not about thrills, chills, and funny costumes. It's about getting laid."
Frat Guy 2: "Is there any holiday that's not about getting laid?"
Frat Guy 1: "Arbor day."

Xander: "Anya, you really have to get this knocking thing down."

Anya: "Your Uncle Rory let me in. Does he always smell like peppermint?"
Xander: "The man likes his schnapps."

Xander: "You said you were over me."
Anya: "And you just accepted that?"

Xander: "That's the funny thing about me. I tend to hear the actual words people say, and accept them at face value."
Anya: "That's stupid."
Xander: "I accept that."

Xander: "I can't say seeing you falls into the realm of a bad thing."
Anya: "Really? I thought maybe we could go out tonight. For our anniversary."
Xander: "Anniversary?"
Anya: "It's been exactly one week since we copulated."

Anya: "Are we dating?"
Xander: "There are definitely date-like qualities at work here."

Xander: "You'll need a costume."
Anya: "A costume?"
Xander: "Dress up. You know, something scary."
Anya: "Scary? scary how?"
Xander: "Anya, you, ex-demon, terrorized mankind for centuries. "
I'm sure you'll come up with something."

Buffy: "I, um, couldn't make it to class for personal reasons."
Professor Walsh: "Right. I count four limbs, a head, no visible scarring, so I assume your personal issue wasn't a life-threatening accident of any kind, and I'm therefore uninterested."

Riley: "I can't remember the last time I saw your hand up."
Buffy: "Does stretching count?"

Riley: "Too much fun, or not enough?"
Buffy: "Both, actually."

Riley: "But, hey, there is some good scary fun to be had on campus tonight."
Buffy: "Yeah, what are you doing?"
Riley: "Well, I am gonna sit here and grade papers."
Buffy: "Scary."
Riley: "Very."
Buffy: "Well, thanks for the pep talk, coach."
Riley: "Don't make fun. I worked long and hard to get this pompous."

Frat Guy 1: "Thanks for the loan, man. Our sound system sucks."
Oz: "Mi Casio es su Casio."

Frat Guy 1: "Eyeballs, man. Blindfold chicks, have them put their hands in the bowl, then tell them it's eyeballs. They love that."
Xander: "And here I was wasting time buying them flowers, and complimenting them on their shoes."

Oz: "Oh, Xander's a civilian."
Frat Guy 1: "Ah, townie, huh? Didn't know. Looked so normal."

Xander: "Sensing a disturbance in the force, Master?"
Oz: "Oh, left speaker's crackling a little bit."
Xander: "And you feel stabbing it's the proper solution?"

Buffy: "Oh, no. Someone's getting nostalgic face."
Joyce: "I'm sorry. I'm thinking about that little girl who wore that. What is it, 5, 6 years ago?"
Buffy: "Little Red Riding Hood was the cutting edge in costumes."

Joyce: "He just wanted to keep you safe."
Buffy: "No, he wanted the candy. I was just the beard."
Joyce: "Oh, that's not true. Actually, the candy was for me."

Joyce: "I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm still a little gun-shy. It certainly didn't help that my last boyfriend turned out to be a homicidal robot."

Willow: "We have to make sure she has fun. We have to force fun upon her. Yeah, and if Parker shows up, we'll just ax-murder him. That's halloweenie."

Xander: "What ya got in the basket, little girl?"
Buffy: "Weapons."
Xander: "Oh."

Xander: "Insurance. You know, in case we get turned into our costumes again, I'm going for cool secret agent guy."
Buffy: "I hate to break it to you, but you'll probably end up cool head-waiter guy."
Xander: "As long as I'm cool and wield some kind of power."

Buffy: "Will! Medieval Will."
Xander: "Hail, ye olde varlotty... thou."
Willow: "I'm Joan of Arc. I figured, we had a lot in common. Seeing as how I was almost burned at the stake, and plus, she had that close relationship with God."
Xander: (to Oz) "And you are?"
(Oz pulls back shirt to reveal name badge reading 'God'.) Xander: "Of course. I wish I'd thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God."
Oz: "Blasphemer."

Buffy: "Nice costumes. Very stealthy."
Willow: "What are they supposed to be?"
Oz: "NATO?"

Buffy: "Perfect. Everybody's got a date but third-wheel Buffy."
Willow: "You're not a third wheel."
Xander: "Well, technically speaking, you're a fifth wheel."

Buffy: "Terrifying. If I were Abbot and Costello, this would be fairly traumatic."

Willow: "Eew! Cobweb. Okay, that part was realistic."
Oz: "Frat boys aren't too obsessive with their cleaning. Might not be decoration, per se."
Xander: "Ahhh! I wasn't scared. I was in the spirit."
Willow: "And we'll back you up on that. Even if they question us separately."

Xander: "What is it?"
Buffy: "Blood. Real blood."
Xander: "Okay, actual creeps have been given."

Buffy: "Thank the lord."
Oz: "You're welcome."

Oz: "Cowering in a closet is starting to sound like a reasonable plan."

Anya: "Are you listening? Xander's trapped."
Giles: "Where's Buffy and the others?"
Anya: "Oh, they're trapped, too. But we've gotta save Xander!"

Buffy: "Conjuring? Will, let's be realistic here, okay? Your basic spells are usually only about 50/50."
Willow: "Oh, yeah? Well... so's your face."
Buffy: "What??"

Xander: "Funny how you still haven't lost your sense of inappropriate humor."

Willow: "Look, we found the stairs. Buffy didn't find the stairs, no sir."

Anya: "Well?"
Giles: "We're going to have to create a door."
Anya: "Create a door? You can do that?"
Giles: "I can. (vroom!)"

Xander: "I'd offer my opinion, but you jerks aren't going to hear it anyway. Not that didn't-go-to-college boy has anything important to say. I might as well hang out with my new best friend, bleeding dummy head, for all you dorks care."

Willow: "The icon's called the Mark of Gachnar. I think this is a summoning spell for something called..."
Xander: "Gachnar?"

Willow: "It feeds on fear."
Buffy: "Our fears are manifesting. We're feeding it. We need to stop."
Xander: "If we close our eyes, and say it's a dream... it'll stab us to death! These things are real."

Xander: "Giles? Hey, everyone, it's Giles. With a chainsaw."

Giles: "'The summoning spell for Gachnar can be shut down in one of two ways. Destroying the Mark of Gachnar...'"
(Buffy smashes symbol. Looks very proud of herself.)
Giles: "'...is NOT one of them, and will in fact immediately bring forth the fear demon itself!'"

Buffy: "This is Gachnar?"
Xander: "Big overture. Leetle show."
Gachnar (in a tiny, high-pitched voice): "I am the dark lord of nightmares. The bringer of terror! Tremble before me. Fear me!"
Willow: "He... he's so cute!"
Gachnar: "Tremble!"
Xander: "Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?"
Giles: "Don't taunt the fear demon."
Xander: "Why, can he hurt me?"
Giles: "No. It's just... tacky."

Gachnar: "They're all going to abandon you, you know."
Buffy: "Yeah, yeah."
Gachnar: Wait, wai--"
(Smoosh!)

Buffy: "This is much better. There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate."
Willow: "I think I'm gonna barf."
Buffy: "Except that."

Anya: "What?"
Xander: "That's your scary costume?"
Anya: "Bunnies frighten me."

Giles: "Oh, bloody hell, the inscription."
Buffy: "What's the matter?"
Giles: "I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar."
Buffy: "What's it say?"
Giles: "'Actual size.'"