Willow: "Hey, look, Parker's here."
Buffy: "Yeah."
Willow: "You're not looking? He looks really cute in green."
Buffy: "Teal. He's reflected in the mirror."
Willow: "You know, when you spend all week with a guy, you're allowed to look at him directly."

Buffy: "We hung out moderately incessantly."

Willow: "Buffy's looking at Parker, who, it turns out, has a reflection, so big plus there. Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings."
Buffy: "No, I'm not."
Willow: "No, you're not."
Buffy: "Oh, I so am."

Devon: "That was, like, the best set ever. We'll do great in LA. We're gonna have them glued to their seats."
Willow: "Uh, Devon? Aren't they supposed to dance?"
Oz: "Well, we can glue them to the dance floor."
Devon: "I don't mean with real glue. You got that, right?"
Oz: "I got that."

Harmony: "You were always funny, Willow. You haven't changed a bit."
Willow: "No, you neither."
Harmony: "Oh, maybe a little. (growl)"

Willow: "Back off, Harmony."
Harmony: "Okay, fine. Hide behind your boyfriend. But guess what? I have a boyfriend, too, and he's gonna be mad that you were mean to me."

Parker: "You have a scar."
Buffy: "Right... um, angry puppy."

Buffy: "Bad, bad Buffy."

Parker: "I'm not doing the deep 'get sympathy' routine. I mean, don't you just hate guys who are all, 'I'm dark and brooding, so give me love.'"
Buffy: "I don't think I've ever met that type."

Buffy: "I sort of drowned a couple of years ago. But I came back. Obviously."

Parker: "I mean, everybody says they get it - "Oh, man, me too. Live for today." But what they really want is an excuse to goof off and not study for finals."
Buffy: "Also a valid life choice."

Xander: "I'm not enjoying this."
Giles: "Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish."
Xander: "I just don't get your crazy system."
Giles: "My system? It's called the alphabet."
Xander: "Huh. Would you look at that."

Anya: "You should lock your door."
Giles: "Believe me, I am kicking myself."
Xander: "Anya? The last time I saw you fleeing in terror. How'd that work out for you?"

Anya: "So, where's our relationship?"
Xander: "Our what? Our who?"

Xander: "And there's the whole you used to be a man-killing demon thing. Which, to be fair, is as much my issue as it is yours."

Anya: "I can't stop thinking about you. Sometimes, in my dreams, you're all naked."
Xander: "Really? You know, if I'm in the check-out line at Wal-Mart, I've had that same one."
Anya: "So I can assume a standing Friday night date, and a mutual recognition of prom night as our dating anniversary?"
Xander: "Anya, slow down. In fact, come to a screeching halt."

Buffy: "This is it. My door. Wood. Maybe some kind of wood veneer."

Oz: "Remember Harmony?"
Willow: "She's back from her summer vacation. And she's a little different."
Buffy: "Different?"
Willow: "Paler."
Parker: "Is your neck okay?"
Buffy: "Neck. Paler. Puppy! The angry puppy."
Oz: "Yeah, we came to warn you about the... angry puppy."

Willow: "Band-aid, now. Thank you."

Buffy: "Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection."

Oz: "Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him, which, stop and marvel at the concept."
Buffy: "Guy dating Harmony dead. Must be, like, the most tolerant guy in the world."

Harmony: "How's my little blondie bear?"
Spike: "Harm, does this look like a good time to talk?"
Harmony: "Are you going to kill Willow today? 'Cause I want you to say, 'This is for messing with my sweet girl.'"

Harmony: "You almost killed her last year. Suddenly it's a big deal?"

Harmony: "This one tastes funny. Take me out to eat."
Spike: "He's perfectly fresh."
Harmony: "I think I had a math class with him last year, and I didn't like him that much then, either."

Parker: "This is some party, huh? The last days of Rome."
Buffy: "It's better. No old Romans."

Spike: "I like him. He's got... um, what's the word? Vulnerability."
Buffy: "And you're with Harmony. What, did you lose a bet?"
Harmony: "Hey!"

Buffy: "What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?"
Spike: "Maybe I dumped her!"
Harmony: "She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days."
Spike: "Harm!"

Giles: "You've done all you can for tonight. Go to bed."
Buffy: "Uh-huh. Sleepy. Yawn. Bye!"

Harmony: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"
Spike: "No."
Harmony: "Oh. Can I make him a vampire?"
Spike: "No. Wait. On second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well."

Harmony: "Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool! Can we eat a doctor so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?"

Spike: "We've got an extra set of chains."
Harmony: "Ew. Just because Dorkus went in for that..."
Spike: "Drusilla."
Harmony: "Whatever."
Spike: "Say her name."
Harmony: "Dorkus."
Spike: "Bite your tongue."
Harmony: "Do it for me."

Xander: "So... the crux of this plan is..."
Anya: "Sexual intercourse. I've said it, like, a dozen times."
Xander: "Uh-huh. Just working through a little hysterical deafness here."
Anya: "I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me figuratively. I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself."

Xander: "But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences."
Anya: "Oh, I have condoms. Some are black."
Xander: "That's... that's very considerate."
Anya: "I like you. You're funny, and you're nicely shaped. And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now."
Xander: "And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith."
(ding)
Anya: "Fabric softener."

Buffy: "He's not supposed to drink, and I saw him here, you know, in the land of the beer."

Parker: "You think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party?"
Buffy: "And what do I do, just stand here and watch?"

Buffy: "One more thing before I go..."
Parker: "A kiss."
Buffy: "Well, I was going to go with pants, but, uh, a kiss is good, too."

Harmony: "You love that tunnel more than me."
Spike: "I love syphilis more than you."

Buffy: "You know what? I'm an adult and it's none of your business where I was."
Giles: "I'm sincerely relieved to hear it. Now, can we discuss the impending disaster?"

Willow: "Did it happen with Parker?"
Buffy: "Yeah, it happened."
Willow: "Well, and? Details! I mean, not details, I don't need a diagram. But, you know, like maybe a blurry watercolor."

Spike: "Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass."

Harmony: "Ew. Like you're too good to work a clasp."

Harmony: "So, is it doing it? Do you feel it? I mean, you don't look any different, if you wondered. I thought maybe you'd look taller, or glow or something."

Oz: "Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums, or I'm moving in."
Giles: "Oz, there are more important things than records right now."
Oz: "More important than this one?"
Giles: "Um, I suppose an argument could be made for..."
Xander: "Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV! He's shallow like us."
Oz: "I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed."
Giles: "I-I-I..."
Willow: "Well, maybe it doesn't work. It's like art."
Giles: "Uh... public television!"

Parker: "Didn't you have fun? Watch out how you answer that, my ego is fragile."

Spike: "What a fabulous day. Birds singin', squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels, sun beamin' down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle."

Spike: "Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way."

Spike: "The gem of Amarra. Official sponsor of my killing you."

Harmony: "Being a vampire sucks."

Harmony: "He was my platinum baby, and I loved him."

Buffy: "So, what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?"

Willow: "He's a poophead."
Buffy: "You're right. He's manipulative and shallow... and why doesn't he want me? Am I so repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right?"
Willow: "I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second."

Buffy: "Do you think that we could still work it out?"
Willow: "I think you're missing something about the whole poophead principle."