Xander: "We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!"
Willow: "It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!"

Xander: "I'm feeling that you're not in the field trip spirit here."

Xander: "This is about not being in class."
Buffy: "You're right. Suddenly, the animals look shiny and new."

Flutie: "I have had it up to here with you four. What are you doing?"
Kyle: "Nothing"
Flutie: "Did I ask you to speak?"
Kyle: "..."
Flutie: "Okay, I guess I did."

Buffy: "What is it with those guys?"
Willow: "They're obnoxious, professionally."
Xander: "Oh, every school has them. You start a new school, you get your
desks, your blackboards, and some mean kids."

Xander: "Why don't you pick on someone your own species?"

Buffy: "Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood
pressure..."
Willow: "130 over 80."
Buffy: "You got it bad, girl."

Willow: "He makes my head go tingly."

Xander: "You took a bath."
Buffy: "Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it."

Buffy: "Oh great, it's the winged monkeys."

Xander: "Why do I need to learn this?"
Willow: "'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math."
Xander: "Explain the part where that's bad."
Willow: "You remember. You fail math. You flunk out of school. You end up
being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey kids,
where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this."

Giles: "You just run along to class, while I wait for the feeling to return to my
arms."

Coach: "God, this game is brutal. I love it."

Giles: "It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll
have to kill him."

Giles: "Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will,
however, get over it."
Buffy: "I can't believe you, of all people, are trying to Scully me!"

Flutie: "You're gonna' have so much detention, your grandchildren will be
staying after school."

Willow: "Why couldn't he be possessed by a puppy, or some ducks?"

Xander: "I've been waiting for you to jump my bones."

Xander: "Come on, Slayer, I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you,
the better you smell."

Buffy: "It's safe to say that in his animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't
involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of chianti."

Willow: "Buffy saved both of our lives."
Xander: "Before she came here, our lives didn't need that much saving, did
they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?
Willow: "Maybe."
Xander: "When we're alone together."

Xander: "Nobody messes with my Willow."

Buffy: "This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes."

Xander: "Shoot me. Stuff me. Mount me."