Buffy: "Where's the other one?"
Xander: "Scampered like a big bumpy bunny."

Willow: "I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin."

Buffy: "A nest. No biggie. I bet I could do it. I mean, I know I could take at least two."
Anya: "Yes. And then we could run for help while the other three suck your heart out through your neck."

Xander: "The quick draw is about more than speed. It's also about pointing the stake the right way. And there can be splinter issues."

Buffy: "Thanks for doing this, Jonathan. I wouldn't ask, but..."
Jonathan: "Hey, don't worry about it. Nest full of vampires, you come get me, okay. Box full of puppies, that's more of a judgment call."

Buffy: "You got me. It was very... punchy."

Giles: "I can't find a reference to any rituals. Seems more like a... family meal, if you will."
Buffy: "And they say no one eats without the TV on any more."

Jonathan: "Well, it's good to know we're not walking into the unholy feast of something or other."

Jonathan: "I'll be the surprise guest. Everyone, let's show these fiends that they came to the wrong town."

Xander: "We knocked 'em dead. Which they already were."
Willow: "We knocked 'em deader."
Anya: "Well, they weren't very well organized. If they'd all rushed at Buffy, they could have killed her right away."
Buffy: "Thanks, Anya, that won't keep me awake all night."

Spike: "I wasn't exactly pining for a noisy visit from Wonder- Jonathan and his fluffy battle kittens."
Buffy: Yeah? You think that one up with all the time you spend not being able to bite people?"

Spike: "Yeah, back off, Betty."
Buffy: "It's Buffy, you big, bleached... stupid guy."

Jonathan: "Spike, you're the worst type of scum. the second you're back to your old tricks, well... let's just say, before you even sniff out your first victim, you'll be pretty indistinguishable from - oh, what should we say? - instant soup mix."

Willow: "Twang. Poof! That was the sound. Crossbow and vampire dusting."

Willow: "I know she's not over the whole Riley sleeping with Faith thing. You know what I mean - Faith's insides in Buffy's outsides, when her insides were out."

Buffy: "(misses basket) You'd think I could do that. I guess it takes different muscles than demon beheading."

Buffy: "Now, if Slaying was a competitive sport, then I'd have a chance. You know, we could have figure staking, and speed staking."

Buffy: "It's all Faith's fault. She's like poison. No, worse, she's like acid that eats through everything. Maybe she's a bomb."

Buffy: "There's no way he could know. I mean, you don't just look at someone and say, 'Hey, that's not your body. Get out of that body with your hands up!'"

Jonathan: "I mean, if I'm wrong, smack me. Karen with a 'K' will lend you a book, and it's pretty heavy."

Anya: "I did not."
Xander: "Last night, with me, you said 'Jonathan.'"
Anya: "It was a moan."
Xander: "Fine, you moaned 'Jonathan.'"
Anya: "Nuh-uh. It was like, 'A-a-a-ahhh.'"
Xander: "Maybe it was 'A-a-a-ahhnathon.' Still not fluffing up the old ego."

Riley: "Quite the couple, aren't they?"
Buffy: "They get into a fist fight, I got $50 on Anya."

Buffy: "Do we have to have the talk? No talk. More dance."

Anya: "Xander?"
Xander: "Yeah?"
Anya: "Let's go have sex now."
Xander: "Yeah. Okay."

Vamp: I wish you'd get rid of that body. The smell's making me hungry."

Vamp: Huh. All right. Well, you're the evil Messiah guy, so..."

Adam: I don't need to do anything. These majicks are unstable, corrosive. they will inevitably lead to chaos. And I'm interested in chaos."

Buffy: No go."
Willow: "Did you just go, no go?"

Anya: "Xander's not here."
Buffy: "Oh."
Anya: "You're not going away. Why aren't you going away?"
Buffy: "Well, I was kind of hoping to look at some of Xander's stuff."
Anya: "Oh. sure. Come on in, make yourself at home. And so on."

Anya: "Oh, you're still here? That's nice."

Anya: "Buck up, you. You kill the best. Go you. Kill, kill."
Buffy: Actually not needing validation right now, but thank you."

Buffy: "Anya, when you were a demon, you granted wishes, right?"
Anya: "Vengeance wishes, on ex-boyfriends. I'd wish he was a dog, or ugly, or in love with President McKinley, or something."
Buffy: "But someone could wish the whole earth to be different, right? That's possible?"
Anya: "Sure, alternate realities. You could have, like, a world without shrimp. Or with, you know, nothing but shrimp. You could even make, like, a freaky world where Jonathan's like, some kind of not-perfect mouth-breather, if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days. Just don't ask me to live there."

Buffy: "And how did he graduate from med school? He's only 18 years old."
Xander: "Effective time management?"

Buffy: "Well, I was just kind of wondering if maybe anyone else thought that Jonathan was kind of too perfect?"
Xander: "No, he's not. He's just perfect enough. He crushed the bones of the Master, he blew up a big snake made out of Mayor, and he coached the US Women's soccer team to a stunning World Cup victory."

Buffy: "I think that Jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world, and we're all, like, his pawns."
Anya: "Or prawns."
Buffy: "Stop with the shrimp!"

Xander: "He blinked. The man moistens his eyeballs, and we're having a meeting about it."

Buffy: "Giles, do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?"
Giles: "No. (pause) Yes. It was a gift."

Willow: "Oh."
Anya: "Yeah, pretty darn lickable."
Willow: "The other kind of 'oh.'"

Buffy: "Shut up, Spike."
Spike: "Ooh, semi-harsh language from Betty."

Jonathan: "Have you seen it?"
Spike: "No. But then again, I'm probably lying."

Spike: "Hey, what are you doing? You're not supposed to do that!"

Riley: "These spells. These really work? I mean, can you really turn your enemies inside-out, or learn to excrete gold coins?"
Anya: "That one's not so much fun."

Xander: "Right, you can't just go "librum incendere" and expect..." (book bursts into flames)
Giles: "Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books."

Xander: "So we're saying he did a spell just to make us think he was cool?"
Giles: "Yes."
Xander: "That is so cool!"

Buffy: "Wow. Fall down there and be dead for a while."

Willow: "Buffy was right. Buffy was right?"
Anya: "Doesn't sound very likely, does it?"

Xander: "No, no, no! World without sunshine. World without joy."

Buffy: "I remember this. This is good."

Anya: "Alternate realities are neat."
Xander: "You know what I'll always remember?"
Riley: "The swimsuit calendar's sticking in my mind. Not in a good way."

Riley: "Did anyone else feel way too tall?"

Jonathan: "One of the kids had this spell. He glossed right over the monster."

Buffy: "People didn't like being the little actors in your sock-puppet theatre."
Jonathan: "You weren't. You weren't socks!"

Buffy: "I'm glad we talked this all out."
Riley: "We haven't talked at all."
Buffy: "Oh. Well, whatever we're doing, we're doing it great."

Buffy: "Mmmm, Jonathan..." [cc: "I'm kidding!"]