Buffy: "Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. I mean..."

Buffy: "Vampire-Demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along?"

Buffy: "Vamps hate demons. It's like stripes and polka-dots. Major clashing."

Buffy: "I mean it now - first thing in the morning, we go tell Giles."
Riley: "First thing. Good plan."

Xander: "Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you."
Anya: "So, you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with? Is that it?"
Xander: "I'm just not gonna win here, am I?"

Xander: "We've gone other nights without sex."
Anya: "I know. Twice!"

Xander: "Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. Well, there should be."

Anya: "I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young. Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is there something wrong with your body?"
Xander: "There's nothing wrong with my body."
Anya: "Well, there must be. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction..."
Xander: "Whoa! Hey! All systems go, here. No function problem, okay? You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here. Hot, sweaty, big sex!" (pause, both turn to look at children)

Giles: "The two of them were working as a team?"
Buffy: "Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind."

Buffy: "Think about it - who better to bring together a bunch of demon types than someone who's made out of a bunch of demon types?"
Tara: "So, he's, um, bridging the gap between the races."
Willow: "Huh. Like Martin Luther King."

Giles: "As much as I long for a good kegger, I have other plans. The Espresso Pump."
Tara: "What are you doing there?"
Giles: "I'm, uh, it's a meeting of grown-ups. It couldn't possibly be of any interest to you lot."

Willow: "They're probably goin' to..."
Giles: "Yes, thank you, Willow. I did attend University in the Mesozoic Era, I do remember what it's like."

Forrest: "Oh, you got to be kidding me. When do these two come up for air?"
Graham: "Slaves to the rhythm."

Spike: "Grrr!"
Anya: "Aaahh!"
Spike: "Oh, it's you."
Anya: "Spike! What are you doing? You made me yell really high!"
Spike: "Hey, yeah, I did. I scared you. Gimme money."
Anya: "I'm not paying you for scaring me."
Spike: "You're not paying me. I'm robbing you."
Anya: "Oh, well, that's just ludicrous. You can't hurt me because you've got that chip in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it is... when it's mine."
Spike: "Grrrr!"
Anya: "Oh, now, come on! You're not even bumpy anymore!"
Spike: "Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on. Get me mad again."
Anya: "Does this really work? Scaring people into giving you their money?"
Spike: "Yeah, it works. Keeps me in blood and beers. Plus, you know, funny - watching the little humans quail."
Anya: "I'm beginning to understand why you're so friendless."
Spike: "Look who's talking. I don't see droopy-boy on your arm. Did he have better things to do?"

Xander: "It's kind of embarrassing, which, welcome to the life with Anya."

Xander: "Is it me? Am I the crazy one?"
Buffy: "Uh-huh. Absolutely."
Willow: "Hey, Buffy? This might be a good time to mention that someone so not me spilled something purpley on your new peasant top, which I would never borrow without asking. Still love me?"
Buffy: "Uh-huh. (pause) Huh? What about my peasant top?"
Willow: "Nothing."

Anya: "Boy, I miss those powers."
Spike: "Yeah. Tell me about it."
Anya: "A year and a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. Things used to be so much simpler."
Spike: "You know... you take the killing for granted. And then it's gone, and you're like... I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stopped and smelled the corpses, you know?"
Anya: "Yeah. Now everything's complicated."
Spike: "It's a terrible thing, love is. I been there myself. Ended badly."
Anya: "Of course it did. It always does. Seen a thousand relationships. First there's the love and sex, then there's nothing left but the vengeance. That's how it works."
Spike: "Hey... you and I should just do the vengeance. Both of us. You eviscerate Xander, and I'll stake Dru. Like a project."
Anya: "I don't know. I just can't. But you can go do Dru, though."
Spike: "Yeah, I will. Maybe later."

Xander: "'Lowell House. 1962.'"
Julie: "Yes."
Xander: "Uh, just, you know, impressing you with my knowledge of local history. Or my knowledge of reading."
Julie: "And you didn't even have to sound anything out!"
Xander: "You should see me add short columns of small numbers."
Julie: "You're funny."
Xander: "Thanks. That is, funny 'how amusing', or funny 'back away and avoid eye contact'?"
Julie: "Kinda both."

Buffy: "I need you to take a look at... an essay... for class."
Riley: "That essay. right. I'll catch you guys in a minute. There's an essay... gotta look at."
Graham: "And I'm the one who got a "D" in Covert Ops."

Willow: "Horses. Like... big, tall, teeth that can take your arm off horses?"
Tara: "Well, sure. I learned to ride when I was a kid. It's fun. And, by the way, most horses don't like arm very much."
Willow: "I had a bad birthday party pony thing when I was four. I look at horses and I see really big ponies."

Spike: "What are you doing? You brought me _here_?"
Xander: "Anya? What are you doing? You brought _him_ here?"
Spike: "That's what I said. Only I hit the "here" part."

Xander: "We had a little fight. that just means that we have to work our way through some stuff. It doesn't mean that we rebound with the evil undead."

Xander: "Anya, what are you doing with him?"
Anya: "We didn't have sex, if that's what you mean. That's all I do now, not have sex."

Anya: "It's the normal part of ending a relationship, right before the vengeance begins."
Xander: "Right. No! Vengeance?"

Anya: "I'm just trying to tell you that we have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis, and now I don't even have that!"

Xander: "I've put up with a hell of a lot from you, much of that in the last minute..."

Anya: "Well then, I'm staying too. To show you how much I'm not bothered by you having fun. Because I'll be having more fun!"
Xander: "I'm having fun already!"
Anya: "Me too! Whoo-hoo!"

Xander: "Huh. Sometimes I just don't get the sophisticated college lifestyle."

Willow: "Ghost boy, drowning in tub. I tried to save him, but... being a ghost already, well, I was way too late."

Xander: "Is every frat on this campus haunted? And if so, why do people keep coming to these parties? 'Cause it's not the snacks."

Willow: "We have to go back in there."
Anya: "Why?"
Xander: "Because Buffy and Riley are trapped."
Anya: "So? She's a Slayer, he's a big soldier-boy. What do they need you for?"
Xander: "Anya, look around. There's ghosts and shaking, and people are going all Felicity with their hair."

Spike: "I know I'm not the first choice for heroics, and Buffy's tried to kill me more than once. And I don't fancy a single one of you at all. But... Actually, all that sounds pretty convincing. I wonder if Asian House is open..."

Xander: "I'm going back in there, and I'm not coming out until I bring my friend with me. (gets thrown out of house) Or... it could be Watcher-time."

Xander: "Could we go back to the haunted house? Because this is creeping me out."
Tara: "Does he do this a lot?"
Xander: "Sure. Every day the Earth rotates backward and the skies turn orange."

Willow: "Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him."
Tara: "Well, he is pretty good."
Anya: "His voice is... pleasant."
Xander: "What?"
Willow: "Come on. He is kinda sexy."
Xander: "I'm fighting total mental breakdown here, Will. No more fuel on the fire, please."

Giles: "When you called to Buffy and Riley, they didn't cry out or respond in any way?"
Anya: "No. They're probably dead."
Xander: "Unless they were too busy doin' it to answer."
Giles: "Doing what?"
Xander: "You know, for a god of acoustic rock, you're... kind of naive."

Giles: "In the midst of all that, do you really think they were keeping it up? (pause) Oh, for a different phrasing."

Xander: "Yeah? You smell sin? Well, let me tell you something, lady. She who smelt it, dealt it! It's like what you said, but faster."

Xander: "So this totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem."

Xander: "So, with Buffy and Riley havin'... you know, acts of nakedness around the clock, lately, maybe they set something free. Like a big, bursting poltergasm."

Anya: "What good are weapons against disembodied spirits, Xander? They have no ass to kick."

Xander: "What do you feel?"
Anya: "Upset, afraid of being without you, and a little hungry."
Xander: "I meant about the house."
Anya: "Oh. Still haunted."

Tara: "We implore you... be still."
Giles: "Find it in your hearts to leave our friends passage."
Willow: "Transform your pain. Release your past... and... get over it."

Anya: "Shut up, repressed crybabies!"

Riley: "I can't believe it really happened."
Buffy: "I just had no idea. It's so creepy. He was really singing?"
Xander: "I'd say it was more like crooning. If we grow old together, remind me to skip the mid-life crisis."
Anya: "Okay."
Willow: "Come on, you have to admit, it was kind of sexy."
Xander: "Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives."

Buffy: "If Riley and I hadn't... gotten so wrapped up in each other, none of this would have happened."
Anya: "True. Feel shame."
Xander: "My girlfriend. Mistress of the learning plateau."

Willow: "It must have been horrible."
Buffy: "Yeah. Horrible."
Riley: "Uh-huh. It was bad."